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(Reuters)   Voodoo witch tries to burn down LA with animal sacrifice - needs better offering   (reuters.com) divider line 27
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2443 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2002 at 11:36 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2002-09-08 07:44:35 PM
I think it's quite beautiful that Santeria practicioners do not let the desires of tourists interfere with their spiritual pursuits. Sheep go to heaven, and goats go to hell.
 
2002-09-08 11:38:41 PM
she sould have offered up more gasoline with it
 
2002-09-08 11:44:14 PM
whoops misread that. the fire DID happen...
 
2002-09-08 11:47:58 PM
Offering goat entrails, offering to the collection plate...same thing, really, except money doesn't burn down a forest.

Lemme try again.

Votive candle out of control, campfire out of control...same thing, really, except they can't blame it on beer.
 
2002-09-08 11:49:52 PM
No comment from PETA?
 
2002-09-08 11:50:46 PM


mmmm voodoo!!!
 
2002-09-08 11:51:32 PM
Guess the Voodoo Gods were pissed. Maybe they wanted a fluffy little bunny instead of a scrawny chicken. Doh! Better luck next time.
 
2002-09-08 11:51:57 PM
So... what's the punishment for burning down your own church, hmmm?
 
2002-09-08 11:53:51 PM
I find it uniquely disturbing that in this day and age people are going in the woods to sacrifice farking chickens...wow. How the hell anyone could think burning some small animal is going to do a damn thing for them is beyond me - unless of course it's a barbeque...mmmm...lamb chops marinated in Dale's sauce. Now that's magic. These people should get a clue, leave the stupidass robes, chicken feathers, ceremonial daggers and whatnot at home and just do some grilling, I hate to think of some ass wasting a perfectly barbeque-able animal in the name of some moronic, non-existent gods.
 
2002-09-08 11:54:42 PM
Hey, I don't practice Santeria,
I ain't got no crystal ball....

Yeah.
 
2002-09-08 11:59:33 PM
You mean it wasn't a letter from an ex?
 
Rod
2002-09-09 12:00:10 AM
I can't help but notice the irony of going into the "Sacred Forest" and then setting it on fire (intentional or not).... I'll be sure to set the next church building I walk into on fire, that'll tech em...
 
2002-09-09 12:05:52 AM
The part about discarded clothing sounds interesting.
 
2002-09-09 12:09:34 AM
Too bad they couldn't have burned down East Los Angeles, then no one would have cared.
 
2002-09-09 12:12:56 AM
if they had burned down east los angeles, would anyone have noticed?
 
2002-09-09 12:18:42 AM
Shush, JimmyOlsen. Making statements like that, the next thing you know a horde of Pagans, Wiccans, Norse Rune Masters, Harry Potter Enthusiaists, Bible Thumpers, Shamans, Visionaries, Tarot Card Readers, Witches, Necromancers, Channelers, Sorcerers, Snake Charmers, Luddites, Faith Healers, Satanists, and various, garden-variety crackpots are going to use your post (and perhaps, others) to spark up a good old fashioned flame war.

Oh well. Too late now. F*ck 'em if they can't take a joke.
 
2002-09-09 12:21:48 AM
God forgives all of you, I'm pretty sure.
 
2002-09-09 12:34:14 AM
You know, I really hate those PTL - 700 Club - Sunday morning cookie cutter religious cult TV programs. If they showed Santeria ritual sacrifices once in a while, I just might tune in...
 
2002-09-09 12:38:53 AM
Christianity is based on a human sacrifice. Which when ya get down to the core of it, it's pretty sick. Give these folks 2000 years, they'll be eating and burning little chickens made of sugar and spice. Kinda like Christians do when they drink 'blood' and eat "flesh".
 
2002-09-09 12:42:06 AM
Where did that damn name Johnny_wadd come from? Every time I see your nick I hear this little ditty in my head and I have only a vague memory of it. It goes: "Johnny Wadd, groovin with the FREAK-FREAK". It's driving me freaking crazy.
 
2002-09-09 01:04:28 AM
Hytes Do a KAZAA search and observe the grandeur of J.W.
 
2002-09-09 01:08:28 AM
Christianity is based on a human sacrifice.



Who did the sacrifice? The Jews? They were putting Jesus in capital punishment--a legal, not spiritual issue. If you're arguing that God did a human sacrifice to Himself--of Himself--then there's not really a comparison. Human sacrifice by committing suicide? If someone did that in a pagan ritual they'd be on their way to a Darwin Award.
 
2002-09-09 01:28:23 AM
I told the witchdoctor, I was in love with you
I told the witchdoctor, I was in love with you
And than the witchdoctor, he told me what to do
He said that

ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabangbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabangbang

I told the witchdoctor, you didn't love me true
I told the witchdoctor, you didn't love me nice
And than the witchdoctor, he gave me this advice
He said that

ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabangbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabangbang

You been keeping love from me just like you were a miser
And I'll admit I wasn't very smart
So I went out to find myself a guy that's so much wiser
And he taught me the way to win your heart

My friend the witchdoctor, he taught me what to say
My friend the witchdoctor, he taught me what to do
I know that you'll be mine when I say this to you

ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabangbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabangbang

You been keeping love from me just like you were a miser
And I'll admit I wasn't very smart
So I went out to find myself a guy that's so much wiser
And he taught me the way to win your heart

My friend the witchdoctor, he taught me what to say
My friend the witchdoctor, he taught me what to do
I know that you'll be mine when I say this to you

Oh, baby
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabangbang (come on and)
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabangbang

ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabangbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabangbang
 
2002-09-09 01:34:14 AM
Christianity isn't human sacrifice, it's cannibalism.
 
2002-09-09 06:44:40 AM
This is all very funny, except that the damn fire is very near my house. It looks like it is mostly contained now, but a gust of wind could change all that. This fire has cost over $7M to fight so far, and destroyed a lot of cool buildings here in the forest, some of them dating back to the good 'ol WPA.

Personally, I blame the uber-Christians. Show me a teenage Satan worshipper and I'll show you parents that thump the Bible to beat the band. I just wish the asshats would put out the candles when they are done.

I hope the culprits are eventually caught and held to the fullest measure of justice.
 
2002-09-09 10:16:45 AM
09-09-02 06:44:40 AM Beerbaron
This is all very funny, except that the damn fire is very near my house.





It looks like it is mostly contained now, but a gust of wind could change all that.


 
2002-09-09 01:02:47 PM
This fire is pretty close here too- smoked us out a hundred
miles away two weekends in a row. destroyed some real cool
old places. Personally I stopped going up the canyon because
mexican picnics got out of hand- by that I mean the rocks
are covered with spraypaint, and they leave piles of garbage
and diapers. isolated incident? no. used to go up there a
lot and it got worse and worse, so I just stopped going
up there. the last fire was caused by a little barbecue grill being tossed out into the brush, and I had just really
strongly thought that the cause of this one was the same.

personally I'd like to stuff that goat carcass up the idiot's arse. do your thing but dammit, dont' burn down
MY forest doing it! I traipse through the woods during all
seasons of the year- hot and dry or cold and snowy, and
I see no reason to burn a goat anywhere but in an oven.
 
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