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(   The first Dog-to-Chinese translator hits the markets   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
•       •       •

5370 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Sep 2002 at 4:19 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

48 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-09-05 09:55:14 AM  
First thing translated: "Please don't eat me..."
2002-09-05 04:26:29 PM  
Last thing translated, "OH fark THAT HURTS!"
2002-09-05 04:26:37 PM  
u wanna impress me, make a stripper to wife translator.
2002-09-05 04:26:39 PM  

"WOOF ... woofwoof ... WOOF WOOF !"

Translated :

"Would you mind if I humped your leg before I start sniffing my own butt ?"

2002-09-05 04:30:31 PM  
Can they ask the dogs how they want to be cooked?

[Sorry for the slander] :-)
2002-09-05 04:39:00 PM  
"Woof Woof"


"I don't want to be a fur coat!"
2002-09-05 04:41:49 PM  
Hey, I got one of these things.. little electronic gizmo that
looks like a calculator.. but everything my dog says comes out
as "A suffusion of Yellow"..

2002-09-05 04:47:49 PM  
Chipslave, that's the first thing that popped into my mind. Damn you TotalFark! Damn you all to hell!
2002-09-05 04:55:30 PM  
It could just randomly say:

"I'm hungry"
"I want to play"
"I want to sleep"
"I'm upset"

and always be correct, to some degree.
2002-09-05 05:01:22 PM  
This is a perfect example of a post that really only has one applicable reponse.

Thanks Chipslave. You TotalFark bastard.

(Though wouldn't it be more appropriate for a Dog to Korean translator? I think so. Asshats.)
2002-09-05 05:03:28 PM  
Grrr WOOF WOOF bowow errr-Ruff!--> Ãu ³u ½uÒå´Ê --> Eet More Chikin!

(I hope the chinese characters are working)
2002-09-05 05:08:22 PM, where's my human to dog collar?
2002-09-05 05:10:09 PM  
Third thing translated:

My question is, how did all these dogs get TOTAL FARK memberships?
2002-09-05 05:10:20 PM  
Trying a different they say in China, "There's more than one way to skin a cat, so as to avoid damamging the tasty, flakey meat inside".

[image from too old to be available]
[image from too old to be available]
2002-09-05 05:11:28 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-09-05 05:13:36 PM  
You now know where they got it from. Uncle Herb.
2002-09-05 05:14:35 PM  
I give woulda been funny if I didnt fark it up....I think. I just dont know anymore ......
As they say in China, "There's more than one way to skin a cat, so as to avoid damamging the tasty, flakey meat inside".

[image from too old to be available] Eat
[image from too old to be available]More
[image from too old to be available]Chicken
2002-09-05 05:17:08 PM  
in the voice of Devito.

"I have soiled embarrasing"


"Where did you go?......oh, there you are......very amusing"
2002-09-05 05:18:42 PM  
Does anyone else remember Darwin from the show Seaquest?
2002-09-05 05:27:39 PM  
dog: woof woof woof grrrr
transaltion: I don't care how long it takes, but as soon as I figure out a prosthetic opposable thumb, I will cut your nuts off as you sleep. bastard.
2002-09-05 05:27:46 PM  
Anybody see that episode of Eerie, Indiana where the kid could hear the dogs through his retainer?
2002-09-05 05:30:42 PM  
When are they going to come out with a woman translator?
2002-09-05 05:36:54 PM  
Hacker: Wasn't that the name of the kid-genius who was played
by that guy who was a flash-in-the-pan teen idol for about two weeks or until someone realized
he was prematurely bald?

Oh, wait.. you mean the dolphin, right?
Thanks for reminding me of another reason that show sucked..
Chim-chim was more believeable..
2002-09-05 05:46:24 PM  
All of these translations end up the same: "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ..."

Anyway, I've also found that Mandarin can be translated to English using an old Captain Marvel decoder ring.
2002-09-05 05:47:13 PM  
I love my doggies.

Nesta, Oliver - I'm coming home!
2002-09-05 05:52:02 PM  
Unkie Herb stole it from Dexter:

It's a thing! On the thing! It's a thing, with a thing! Look at the thing! It's a thing!
2002-09-05 05:53:38 PM  
i'd be willing to bet that if this thing really works, we will find that dogs are really NOT man's best friend. hmm...
2002-09-05 06:06:59 PM  
Oh yeah. THIS is something we've been needing.
2002-09-05 06:15:36 PM  
Next to last things transulated: "Please don't let me see that again, i'm tired of licking it."
2002-09-05 06:22:05 PM  
Dog: Rrrruff! Row-ruff aroOOO!!

Translation: I'm delicious! Eat me NOW!!
2002-09-05 07:32:25 PM  
They probably developed it in conjunction with that moronic Pet Psychic...
2002-09-05 07:33:46 PM  
ÖÕÓu, ËuÃCÉè¼ÆiêÉÆuÄÉ豸... iªiÒ¶ÔPOOP!
2002-09-05 07:36:41 PM  
Dog to chinese translator? Plug a microphone into a speaker.
2002-09-05 07:38:00 PM  
Well, that would have been fun if the chinese characters would have worked...

"Finally, they have invented the perfect device... FOR ME TO POOP ON!"

But in chinese... ah the humor that could have been...
2002-09-05 07:48:51 PM  
bark = hey
2002-09-05 08:00:18 PM  
OH GREAT!!!:) Now that we can translate DOGGIE SPEACH we can focus on some of the MINOR problems faceing the world, like, i don't know world hunger?
2002-09-05 08:31:31 PM  
PonchtheJedi: Yeah, I remember that episode. Excellent reason to be polite to critters.
2002-09-05 08:56:19 PM  
By the time I translated what "Bosco - the wonder dog" said through babblefish he would already be onto a different topic.
2002-09-05 09:20:18 PM  
2002-09-05 09:21:23 PM  
yikes that was some kinda ascii ambush...

/was trying to be witty by translating into chinese France Surrenders
2002-09-05 09:25:26 PM  
I don't care how long it takes, but as soon as I figure out a prosthetic opposable thumb, I will cut your nuts off as you sleep. bastard.

Translated twice with Babelfish:

I care about not about how long it adopt, but when I appearance eliminate. Outside the opposable thumb, I will cut open open your nut as a result of yours sleep bastard
2002-09-05 09:54:22 PM  
once we understand
what our pets are saying, can
we understand us?

2002-09-05 10:00:31 PM  
I for one wouldn't want to hear what my dog would have to say when I get home from work.

Woof wooof grr bark woof yip woof...

Where the hell have you been all day you fat bastard? Here I spent all day licking my balls in your easy chair, where you park you fat, smelly assterix half the night, waiting for you to get home and feed me. Talking about food, you got to get a better brand of canned dog food, I mean, I now know why cats lick their asses after the eat, its to get that awful taste out of their mouth! Talking about cats, do you know when it was the last time I got some pussy? Well, while you and Mrs. Pretty good smellin crotch are in the bedroom making them really awful noises while you are farking, I have to settle for sniffing under the front door and pray that there is a biatch in heat in the neighborhood. Oh, and if you would do me a favor, don't wear them rayon slacks again, the last time I humped your disgustingly hairy leg I was sore for a week. And one last thing, don't you ever leave for work and forget to flush the friggin toilet! Would you drink out of a glass of water with one of my logs floating in it? And about that mail man, he
2002-09-05 11:00:53 PM  
Ni hao! Whey ee dyeng poochie.
2002-09-05 11:03:50 PM  
I just remember that "commercial" on Sci-Fi about the universal translater and when it was put on dogs it shows thier plans to take over the world....

Bark Bark bark yip yowl...

Back off hairless monkey-man, your woman is MINE!!!! Now go to the fridge and get me that bologna!!!!
2002-09-05 11:54:26 PM  
ABob: that's funny!

Love it.
2002-09-06 06:03:52 PM  
Where's the Dog-French translators?

Woof woof bark--We surrender
2002-09-06 07:46:25 PM  
"This leash demeans us both."
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