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(ESPN)   A-Rod may skip the All-Star Game with a pulled ovary   (sports.espn.go.com) divider line 147
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944 clicks; posted to Sports » on 05 Jul 2007 at 3:28 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-07-05 02:30:29 AM  
I know almost nothing about baseball, and care less, but that headline is comedy gold.

+1 and a cookie for submitter.
 
2007-07-05 03:31:20 AM  
lol
 
2007-07-05 03:33:32 AM  
A-Rod has inspired so many 'sissy jokes' it's not even funny.

Nevermind his baseball skill...

He is contributing to society in so many other ways.

Gossip rags.
 
2007-07-05 03:38:27 AM  
And-1: I know almost nothing about baseball, and care less, but that headline is comedy gold.

As someone who posted in the redlit thread last week about Proctor, "Proctor? I thought A-Rod was the flamer!"

/if you know one thing about baseball, know this: A-Rod is teh ghey.
//and if he plays for the Red Sox next year, know this: it's okay to be teh ghey
 
2007-07-05 04:13:37 AM  
Ripping Alex Rodriguez is like ripping Peyton Manning. So many people have done it, it's become part of the sports landscape, and it's ridiculous. And it's not original. It's a cliche for people who know jack shiat about sports. News flash...Alex Rodriguez is very good.

Alex Rodriguez might be the most talented baseball player since Ken Griffey Jr. or Mickey Mantle. He will, most likely, hit 800 home runs. Fans like to beat up on him because he is good, or famous, or rich, or whatever. He rubs people the wrong way.

Just looking at numbers...You know, actual analysis, I have decided that Alex Rodriguez is an absolutely epic baseball player. He might belong in the pantheon, next to Ruth, Williams, Musial, and Mays.

Now, we can talk about clutchiness, or heart, or grit, or completely irrelevant things. We can even talk about playoff performances, which show that Alex Rodriguez is not a "un-clutch" as you would like to believe. We can even disregard sample sizes, which are the single most important thing when judging players.

Alex Rodriguez is an immortal talent. His performance bears this out. Gay jokes and "I'm a Yankees fan so I know" comments, and other silliness mean nothing. The guy is off the charts good.
 
2007-07-05 04:18:51 AM  
Linguo Dead: blah blah blah

Your entire post fails to negate the hilarity of the headline though.
 
2007-07-05 04:57:58 AM  
Linguo Dead: Fans like to beat up on him because he is good, or famous, or rich, or whatever. He rubs people the wrong way.

Derek Jeter is all those things, but he doesn't rub people the wrong way, or not nearly to the same extent. Jeter has owned the Red Sox way more than A-Rod has, but I still dislike A-Rod way more.

There are a lot of guys in sports who are good, famous, and rich. The key factor is something else entirely. I'm not sure exactly how to describe it though. In A-Rod's case, actions like the slap are definitely symptomatic of it. Peyton Manning hasn't really done anything like that, and he did finally win a ring, but he does tend to run his mouth and blame his teammates in ways that Brady never would.

If you put Peyton in place of Brady starting in 2001, would the Patriots have done as well as they have? I'd say the answer is probably yes, but I'm not so sure about it. He just doesn't seem like as good a fit for the organization, despite his superior career numbers. Similarly, if you put A-Rod in Jeter's place (at shortstop) since 1996, would they have done as well? Again, despite better career numbers, I'm not sure about that either (even less so than with the Peyton-Pats question). There's something quiet, dignified, and respectable about Brady and Jeter that Peyton and A-Rod lack.
 
2007-07-05 05:57:15 AM  
Yankees Team Gynecologist: There's something quiet, dignified, and respectable about Brady and Jeter that Peyton and A-Rod lack.

and because they're awkward everyone should call them women or say they caught teh ghey!

/seriously, the media has a lot of control over it
//do you think the Ha! thing would have been on any highlights if it were anyone else?
///yes, I know players like Jeter are "too dignified" for such things
 
2007-07-05 06:49:45 AM  
we used to say a player went down with a 'strained clitoris' on my high school baseball team, man that's one joke that never gets old...
 
2007-07-05 07:11:11 AM  
It's his ovary. If he wants to pull it it's his business. He just shouldn't do it publicly unless he gets paid a whole shiatload for it.
 
2007-07-05 07:11:14 AM  
Age 30 season
Player HR RBI BA OBP SLG
Babe Ruth 1925 25 66 .290 .393 .543
Alex Rodriguez 2006 35 139 .290 .392 .523
--------------------------------------------------
Age 29 season
Player HR RBI BA OBP SLG
Babe Ruth 1924 46 121 .378 .513 .739
Alex Rodriguez 2005 (MVP) 48 130 .321 .421 .610
---------------------------------------------------------
As for their age 31 season:

Age 31 season
Player HR RBI BA OBP SLG
Babe Ruth 1926 47 150 .372 .516 .737
Alex Rodriguez 2007 ? ? ? ? ?


I wonder if the Babe was booed in New York in any of his first 3 seasons as a Yankee.


/jeter is no arod
 
2007-07-05 07:14:06 AM  
Come to think of it. A pulled ovary beats the hell out of that enlarged prostate Steinbrenner has been swinging at us for the past 30+ years.
 
2007-07-05 08:22:27 AM  
IAmRight: //do you think the Ha! thing would have been on any highlights if it were anyone else?


Yes, because the third baseman dropped the ball. That's a "sports blooper", so it would be covered.
 
2007-07-05 09:19:15 AM  
Yankees Team Gynecologist: Peyton Manning hasn't really done anything like that,

Stupid Drunk Kicker!
 
2007-07-05 09:26:54 AM  
I wonder how many fans A-Rod's gonna convert 6 years from now when he takes away Bonds' ill-gotten home run record.
 
2007-07-05 09:30:03 AM  
Yankees Team Gynecologist: but he does tend to run his mouth and blame his teammates in ways that Brady never would.

Because Brady's teammates are actually good. The most underrated thing about the patriots is their offensive line. I could be a good NFL QB if I had 5 receivers running around and 5 seconds for one of them to get open, no matter who the receivers are. It doesn't matter if you're Peyton Manning or Tom Brady or Jesus or whatever, if Joey Porter hits you in the back just as you finish your drop back, you cant' complete a pass, period.
 
2007-07-05 09:39:29 AM  
www.gbscc.com
 
2007-07-05 09:49:34 AM  
Linguo Dead: Ripping Alex Rodriguez is like ripping Peyton Manning.

Why would anyone rip Peyton Manning? He gives people with Downe Syndrome hope.
 
2007-07-05 09:52:11 AM  
If you watch the play in which Gay-Rod "injured" himself you can claerly see him shove the first beaseman for the Twins in the back when he goes up to catch a ball. His style of play is beyond sissified and he's bad for baseball. His numbers will always be great but I could give you twenty guys I'd rather go to in a clutch situation than him. He's an image concious media whore who's more interested in his legacy than his team.
 
2007-07-05 09:54:19 AM  
Ovary!!! LOLZERZ!!! That's SO DAMNED FUNNY!!!! You see, it's funny because WOMEN have ovaries, not men!1!1! And by saying "ovary" it implies A-Rod is a WOMAN!@! ELEVENTY1!! Subby, your rapier like wit slices with fatal precision!

If 28 dingers before the allstar break makes a guy a woman, then you bashers aren't even droplets of estrogen.

SEE!! I said "Estrogen"!!! And that's funny because it's a WOMAN THING! MENSTRATION!!!! MASSENGILL!!! GYNECOLOGIST!!! VAS DEFERENS!!!!!! I ARE COMEDIEENEE!!1!
 
2007-07-05 09:57:48 AM  
Mr. Vincent Vega: If you watch the play in which Gay-Rod "injured"

GayRod! OMIGAWT! That is even FUNNIER because anything GAY is even funnier than OVARY!!!

LOU GAYRIG!
SANDY KOTEX!
BARRY BONDAGE!
CAL PENIS JR.!!!
ALBERT POOHOLES!
CURT SCHILLBUTZECKS!
 
2007-07-05 10:01:22 AM  
The Dynamite Monkey: GayRod! OMIGAWT! That is even FUNNIER because anything GAY is even funnier than OVARY!!!

OMFG! Dynamite RETARD... decaf.
 
2007-07-05 10:03:33 AM  
The Dynamite Monkey: OMFG! Dynamite RETARD... decaf.

Your sarcasm meter needs fine tuning.
 
2007-07-05 10:04:24 AM  
The Dynamite Monkey: CAL PENIS JR.!!!

Woah. Keep Cal outta this - he's the man.

WOMAN THING!... VAS DEFERENS!!!!!!

Uh. If you are a woman and happen to have vas deferens, I dunno what to tell ya.
 
2007-07-05 10:06:20 AM  
And-1: I know almost nothing about baseball, and care less, but that headline is comedy gold.

Looks like you need to brush up on your comedy knowledge along with the sport of baseball, since this joke is about as old and overused as any baseball joke.

Mr. Vincent Vega

Watch the clip again, and notice that A-Rod put his arm up to protect himself since Morneau was leaning backwards into his path (which caused the collission). Clearly, if his intention was to push Morneau off the bag (?) he would have made a shoving motion instead of just putting his arm in the air. You A-Rod haters are just stretching.
 
2007-07-05 10:17:07 AM  
Linguo Dead:


I hear the same could be said for Avril.
 
2007-07-05 10:46:25 AM  
I hope he does the right thing and sits. Boston needs a healthy shortstop if they want to repeat next year.
 
2007-07-05 10:52:01 AM  
toonz: I hope he does the right thing and sits. Boston needs a healthy shortstop if they want to repeat next year.

What the hell is with your "ARod to Boston" grass roots campaign? CUT IT OUT and cue the Does not Want Dog! Don't be a hypocritter.

chaoskids.com
 
2007-07-05 11:06:44 AM  
GimpyNip: What the hell is with your "ARod to Boston" grass roots campaign? CUT IT OUT and cue the Does not Want Dog! Don't be a hypocritter.

Relax. I just know it aggravates the Yanks fans to know that they couldn't just buy up victories like they're used to and we never get a guy in his prime to come from NY TO here. Just stirring the pot a little.

But.... my math tells me that he'd be at least a slight improvement over Lugo. Or maybe you like the idea of Vlad and A-Rod in Los Anaheim of Whereverthefark?

Frankly, I wish the Sox had never let Cabrera go.

/Not really into bringing A-Rod here, but wouldn't complain if they did. Not a hypocrite, I openly admit that putting the Yankee pinstripes makes one an instant target, and switching from pinstripes will probably get one slack from me. Some guys even get slack from me IN pinstripes (ex. Jeter, Matsui, Rivera) because of how they approach the game.
 
2007-07-05 11:08:14 AM  
GimpyNip:

theducks.org

/as requested
 
2007-07-05 11:13:21 AM  
toonz: /Not really into bringing A-Rod here, but wouldn't complain if they did. Not a hypocrite, I openly admit that putting the Yankee pinstripes makes one an instant target, and switching from pinstripes will probably get one slack from me. Some guys even get slack from me IN pinstripes (ex. Jeter, Matsui, Rivera) because of how they approach the game.

How about you'd be fired up and lucky as hell to have the best player in the game on your favorite team?

man, you sox fans... that's the difference right there... Yankee fans have no problem realizing great players like Manny and Ortiz. You can't get past the hatred enough to want to better your own team.

if you do sign A-Rod, you'll just use him up and piss on him when you are done like you did to Nomar and Jim Rice, and Boggs, and you are doing to Manny right now.

YOU PUT MANNY RAMIEREZ ON WAIVERS FOR CHRISSAKES!

Boston: The town that Loved Fred Lynn and hated Jim Rice.

That's why your players love to go to the Yankees.
 
2007-07-05 11:23:39 AM  
The Dynamite Monkey: How about you'd be fired up and lucky as hell to have the best player in the game on your favorite team?

man, you sox fans... that's the difference right there... Yankee fans have no problem realizing great players like Manny and Ortiz.


Why'd you boo A-Rod, then?
 
2007-07-05 11:24:27 AM  
Hiymenator: ...and if he plays for the Red Sox next year...
theducks.org
 
2007-07-05 11:29:06 AM  
YOU PUT MANNY RAMIEREZ ON WAIVERS FOR CHRISSAKES!

AND NOBODY TOOK HIM FOR CHRISSAKES!
 
2007-07-05 11:33:46 AM  
i think someone in here needs to switch to decaf, jerk off, and listen to a white noise machine for an hour to just chill out.
 
2007-07-05 11:41:53 AM  
The Dynamite Monkey Nomar and Jim Rice, and Boggs, and you are doing to Manny right now

Also, Manny has asked to be traded on numerous occasions. The Sox have not been able to get anything close to equal value for him and now Manny appears to realize that which is why he has agreed to just play out his contract (although, that could change with the weather.)

Are you trying to imply that the Nomar trade wasn't a good one? Nomar was an awful clubhouse presence in 2004 and needed to go. This was documented in the Herald, Globe, and Seth Moonokin's 'Feeding The Monster'.

So, really, what are you talking about?
 
2007-07-05 11:42:57 AM  
GimpyNip: AND NOBODY TOOK HIM FOR CHRISSAKES!

That's my point. The Sox knew no one would take him because no one could afford the contract. They were trying to show him up. I did not think it was a classy move.

HulkHands: Why'd you boo A-Rod, then?

If this was intended for me, you'll have to forgive me, as I do not understand it.
 
2007-07-05 11:43:03 AM  
The Dynamite Monkey

Um... Didn't I say I'd be okay with signing A-Rod?

man, you sox fans... that's the difference right there... Yankee fans have no problem realizing great players like Manny and Ortiz. You can't get past the hatred enough to want to better your own team.

Oh bullshiat! You guys get off on signing 'great' players JUST TO KEEP THEM AWAY from the Sox. Moving the best SS in the league to 3rd base as an injury replacement for a utility infielder?!? It was done for one reason and one reason only- to PISS OFF Boston. You all had a big circle-jerk when you "took" Damon from us. And boy were you "great fans" so KIND to A-Rod on opening day, but now you all think he's great again - but would be ready to pounce if he didn't produce in October, which looks sort of moot.

A couple days after Lugo was booed for his base-running gaffe at 3rd w/2 outs, the Fenway fans were cheering "Let's go Lugo" to try to help him break his 0-for-infinity slump. I doubt ANY Yankee would be treated that well if they weren't performing.

Boston: The town that Loved Fred Lynn and hated Jim Rice. That's why your players love to go to the Yankees.

Nooooooo, it has nothing to do with the fact that the Yanks will overspend to sign anyone just to keep them off the Sox. How's that working out for you and your Paris Hilton Team, (all cash, no thinking) now?

Jim Rice was my favorite player as a kid, btw. Maybe the PRESS didn't like him, but the fans didn't really seem to have a problem with him. I don't remember A-rodesque booing when Jim Ed came up to bat.

You guys "appreciate" good players, my ass.
 
2007-07-05 11:48:46 AM  
GimpyNip: The Dynamite Monkey Nomar and Jim Rice, and Boggs, and you are doing to Manny right now

Also, Manny has asked to be traded on numerous occasions. The Sox have not been able to get anything close to equal value for him and now Manny appears to realize that which is why he has agreed to just play out his contract (although, that could change with the weather.)

Are you trying to imply that the Nomar trade wasn't a good one? Nomar was an awful clubhouse presence in 2004 and needed to go. This was documented in the Herald, Globe, and Seth Moonokin's 'Feeding The Monster'.

So, really, what are you talking about?


Gimpy, that's exactly my point. The guy is your Golden Boy, a good guy by all accounts, and when he gets fed up with what he views as bad management you publicly tarnish him then ship him out.

And you agree then that the Manny on waivers thing was just to put him in his place?

I am not saying the Yankees NEVER do that (re: Gary Sheffield) but that more often than not they stay loyal to players who have contributed in the past (Bernie) and who are douchebonnets in the clubhouse (Don Mattingly).

Again, the Yankees do it sometimes, but the Sox seem to do it to a large number of players. (I forgot Damon. And Poland.)
 
2007-07-05 11:51:47 AM  
D. Monkey
I am not saying the Yankees NEVER do that (re: Gary Sheffield) but that more often than not they stay loyal to players who have contributed in the past (Bernie) and who are douchebonnets in the clubhouse (Don Mattingly).


you meant NOT douchebonnets, right? And yes, that's one thing I'll give NY credit for, but I wonder if that will last if the championship drought continues.
 
2007-07-05 11:52:27 AM  
I did not think it was a classy move.


It was to show him that he had better stop pouting because they were stuck together. There is nothing wrong with that and the Sox never wanted to move him in the first place. They were trying to appease him as best as they could. Also, the Yankees could have afforded him but they didn't bite because Manny did the same thing Bonds (last time I'll ever compare Manny to that POS) did and didn't act like it would be a privilege to be a Yankee.
 
2007-07-05 11:53:45 AM  
Mr. Vincent Vega: ...his style of play is beyond sissified

i really dont understand this. all the little things that a-rod gets roasted for (the slap, the "ha!", this thing your making up about the first baseman, him sliding into pedroia) are the opposite of sissified. he plays old-school. it borders on dirty, but in the end, its doing EVERYTHING in his power to win the game, and give his team an advantage. if he wasnt a multimillionaire pretty boy, you would call him a gamer. if anything is sissified its the way baseball is played today.

i dont like the yankees or what they have done to baseball, but i love watching a-rod play. hes a 100% all the time type.

toonz
Frankly, I wish the Sox had never let Cabrera go.

QFT! i was a red sox fan for a couple years (always been a phillies fan, but living in boston for school, i started to follow the team, and really like the character...they reminded me of the scrubs from the '93 phils team) i was a big fan in '03 and '04. i remember o-cab being CLUTCH throughout that entire playoff run. anytime they needed a big hit, or a great play, he seemed to be the one.

then they throw him away for the shiny new brand name shortstop. thats where i got off the red sox bus; when they let the whole team walk and basically decided to buy a new team. it felt like yankees lite to me, and they've pretty much gone that way since. youk papelbon and now pedroia. thats it for home grown talent.

i think they started a new curse: the curse of the shortstop. every big name free agent shortstop they sign is gonna suck until they trade him, and then he will go back to kicking ass (a la renteria and alex gonzalez, although gonzo was solid in the field for the sox).
 
2007-07-05 11:58:57 AM  
toonz: The Dynamite Monkey

Um... Didn't I say I'd be okay with signing A-Rod?


In a very backhanded way, you did. But you call him "at least a slight improvement over Lugo", and that's patently ridiculous.

Oh bullshiat! You guys get off on signing 'great' players JUST TO KEEP THEM AWAY from the Sox. Moving the best SS in the league to 3rd base as an injury replacement for a utility infielder?!? It was done for one reason and one reason only- to PISS OFF Boston.

Are you kidding? This is a serious statement? I can't respond to this as it is clearly megalomania.

You all had a big circle-jerk when you "took" Damon from us. And boy were you "great fans" so KIND to A-Rod on opening day, but now you all think he's great again - but would be ready to pounce if he didn't produce in October, which looks sort of moot.

It's hard to play in NYC, no doubt. We're used to winning always, and that is impossible. But personally, I have ALWAYS supported A-Rod, here on Fark and elsewhere. I will agree with you there is a lot of uncalled-for abuse of him, which is mostly sportswriter jealousy.

A couple days after Lugo was booed for his base-running gaffe at 3rd w/2 outs, the Fenway fans were cheering "Let's go Lugo" to try to help him break his 0-for-infinity slump. I doubt ANY Yankee would be treated that well if they weren't performing.

Oh come on. "We booed our guy, then we cheered for him". Yeah, you Sox fans have en exclusive on that.

Nooooooo, it has nothing to do with the fact that the Yanks will overspend to sign anyone just to keep them off the Sox.

Like Dice K?

How's that working out for you and your Paris Hilton Team, (all cash, no thinking) now?

For the last decade, pretty well, actually. This year, so far, not as much.

Jim Rice was my favorite player as a kid, btw. Maybe the PRESS didn't like him, but the fans didn't really seem to have a problem with him. I don't remember A-rodesque booing when Jim Ed came up to bat.

Yes the press hated him. Forgive me for assuming the fans did too. Glad you liked him, he was an incredible hitter.

You guys "appreciate" good players, my ass.
 
2007-07-05 12:03:26 PM  
GimpyNip: It was to show him that he had better stop pouting because they were stuck together. There is nothing wrong with that and the Sox never wanted to move him in the first place. They were trying to appease him as best as they could. Also, the Yankees could have afforded him but they didn't bite because Manny did the same thing Bonds (last time I'll ever compare Manny to that POS) did and didn't act like it would be a privilege to be a Yankee.

So all the guy does for you is hammer in RBI ofter RBI, and the only way you have to negotiate with him is to publicly humiliate him is by putting him on waivers next to overpriced scrubs? You can't communicate with him any other way?

Classless, IMHO, and why your players love to leave.

Trivia Question: Which team was the last one to break the color barrier?
 
2007-07-05 12:04:05 PM  
The Dynamite Monkey: You guys "appreciate" good players, my ass.

Ooops I misused the fancy new button.
 
2007-07-05 12:09:06 PM  
The Dynamite Monkey:

How much mortar are you made out of?
 
2007-07-05 12:11:14 PM  
GimpyNip: The Dynamite Monkey:

How much mortar are you made out of?


If this is another thread cross-reference joke, sorry but I missed it.

Or I could just reply "about ten stone". But I have no idea what that means.
 
2007-07-05 12:26:10 PM  
The Dynamite Monkey: Or I could just reply "about ten stone". But I have no idea what that means.

A buddy of mine got threatened by an Irish immigrant at The Banshee (bar in Dorchester) that way. "You don't want to mess with me, I'm 16 stone!" he said. Buddy replies, "And how many pebbles?"

Turns out a stone = 14 pounds

So, I guess you're about 140-153 lbs.

Anyway, it is never a good idea to threaten someone with arcane systems of measurment.
 
2007-07-05 12:30:05 PM  
Dynamite Monkey

In a very backhanded way, you did. But you call him "at least a slight improvement over Lugo", and that's patently ridiculous.


It wasn't a backhanded compliment to A-Rod, I was being sarcastic in a patently ridiculous way. Like saying, "I think this yacht has 'a bit' more space than that dinghy."
----
Are you kidding? This is a serious statement? I can't respond to this as it is clearly megalomania.

okay- it wasn't the WHOLE story and I'll concede that it has a not-so-faint scent of megalomania, but c'mon... don't act like the Yanks don't make moves that have more than a little weight based on playing keep-away, and it seems to really annoy a lot of NY fans that the Sox can do it now, too (re: Dice-K) and lately seem to be doing it smarter.

Oh come on. "We booed our guy, then we cheered for him". Yeah, you Sox fans have en exclusive on that.

Ok. realistically, that's a push. I remember Bob Stanley coming in to relieve to a chorus of boos, shutting down the opponent and walking off to a standing ovation. Then the next time out, walking in to wild applause, blowing the lead, and being booed off the field. Ahhh, Steamer, you drove us batshiat.

Yes the press hated him (Rice). Forgive me for assuming the fans did too. Glad you liked him, he was an incredible hitter.

I saw him, during BP before a game, early 80's I think, hit a ball over the right field roof (no Budweiser seating back then), it might have actually left the park. Opposite field, it was sick!

You guys "appreciate" good players, my ass.
LOL... ok... touché!
 
2007-07-05 12:32:39 PM  
GimpyNip: So, I guess you're about 140-153 lbs.

I wish.


Anyway, it is never a good idea to threaten someone with arcane systems of measurment.


Now get off my back before I beat you with a board foot of sydharbs.
 
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