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(X-Entertainment)   'Critters' review - 1986 horror movie about carnivorous poodle demons   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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3743 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Sep 2002 at 7:58 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

32 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-09-05 01:02:09 PM  
This movie didn't have the "Hollywood ending". I cried when the critters bit it.
2002-09-05 02:29:50 PM  
Someone pointed out that I made an error in this one saying that Billy Zane was the biggest star in any Critters movie. Looks like I've gotta rent Critters III. Leo DiCaprio's in it.
2002-09-06 08:00:35 AM  
Hehe, yeah, I've seen that. A very young DiCaprio mind you. I recon it's the best film he's ever been in.
2002-09-06 08:06:14 AM  
Wasn't Wheasly Crusher in that movie?
2002-09-06 08:18:02 AM  
Big fan Matt. Keep it up man.
2002-09-06 08:24:39 AM  
Aaah... takes yer back.
2002-09-06 08:26:21 AM  
Another day another awesome X-E article

but who would expect anything else?
2002-09-06 08:54:30 AM  
memories...light the corner of my mind.
2002-09-06 09:02:40 AM  
I'm sure I'm part of a substantially large group of fans who enjoy and appreciate the stop-motion puppetry

Was there any stop-motion in Critters? I don't remember any.
2002-09-06 09:08:48 AM  
I remember watching this movie when I was about 10 or so and at the time I thought it was the greatest movie I'd ever watched. I used to run around acting like I was one of the bounty hunters and coming up to people asking "Where are the Crites?"

Then I would go burn all my G.I. Joe figures in an empty coffee can. Ah the 80's. What a magical time.
2002-09-06 09:20:54 AM  
That movie used to scare the hell out of me, then again I was 5.
2002-09-06 09:26:34 AM  
My favorite was the subtitles when the Critters were speaking.

Critter 1: Humans got guns
Critter 2: So what?
Critter 2: Oh fark!
2002-09-06 09:40:06 AM  
Yes, this movie was extremely scary when I was 11
2002-09-06 09:48:55 AM  

Y'all are just trying to make me feel old...

I always figured this movie was a knock off of this one:

[image from too old to be available]

2002-09-06 09:50:43 AM  
Matt: Good farkin' article!

This is one of my top ten favorite cheesy-ass 80's
Sci-Fi flicks.......
2002-09-06 10:17:29 AM  
poodle demons my sweet Aunt Fanny. I have your poodle demons right here:
2002-09-06 10:32:15 AM  
Was it Critters 1 or 2 where one of the green-faced bounty hunters morphs itself into the centerfold chick of a girlie magazine it found, complete with a six-inch staple sticking out of her stomach? That was cool. Must have been Critters 2, because I can't imagine Matt would have let that go without comment.
2002-09-06 10:45:17 AM  
X-E rocks my lame ass...because I am one. This movie scared me in ways that are unimaginable...
2002-09-06 10:53:17 AM  
I think it's part two ,cause the drunkard is a bounty hunter, and I remember there being only one shape changer in part 2. I liked part 2 better cause of the giant critter deathball that forms at the end, after the hamburger plant explosion.

And Matt, if you are looking at this, you're my hero.
2002-09-06 11:01:18 AM  
I love the sequels to these types of movies, they're always far more nonsensical, but that's what makes them work. I'm sure by the 4th Critters movie things really went off-kilter. For a good example of this, read my two Ghoulies reviews. is the first one - it's a stupid movie climaxed with a fat guy laughing while shooting lightning, but at least they were trying to make a real flick. But is the second one, where the Ghoulies have magically morphed into the Three Stooges. And in the THIRD Ghoulies movie...they go to college!
2002-09-06 11:03:51 AM  
First horror movie I ever saw. Scared the shiat out of me but I was 6 at the time.... I like the ending of the second one better where the giant ball of critters rolls over people and leaves only twitching bones behind... or was that this one... and does it really matter?
2002-09-06 11:18:46 AM  
OK, dang it..

Now I wanna know more about "April" from the movie, Nadine Van Der Velde.

GIS - nothing

IMDB - she was in an episode of "Sweating Bullets", made some other movies ("Munchies", anyone?), married to a guy from Galaxy Quest, her first movie was Private School (along with Phoebe Cates, a "Gremlins" connection)

Google - lots of reviews of Critters and some of her other movies, but no pictures.

What does she look like now?

I hate when I get hooked on something like this!!!!!

(Matt, cool web site, btw)
2002-09-06 11:38:41 AM  
I can't believe Nadine Van Der Velde isn't in porn yet! Come on Nadine! There's a whole avenue of money to be made from people like numberz!!
2002-09-06 11:46:41 AM  
2002-09-06 12:47:38 PM  
Fiver and Ponch: Yep, it was Critters 2, of which a review was recently posted over at It's A Bad Bad Bad Bad Movie:
2002-09-06 12:53:26 PM  
I remember watching this movie on halloween on a double feature with "The Gate".It was good but The Gate was a far better movie,the '80's had a lot of great horror movies.Low budget didn't always mean low quality.
2002-09-06 01:13:13 PM  
2002-09-06 02:33:14 PM  
How can there be no DVD box set with all four movies? Hollywood is missing a big seller in this one. No, I'm not joking. Cheesy horror films are the best.
2002-09-06 03:29:18 PM  
"It's actually a relief to the rest of the family, because the girl won't stop screaming and it's hard to concentrate on staying alive when you've got a middle-aged meddling headcase who doesn't understand the fine art of quiet deliberation." <---- that..that is why i love x-e..
2002-09-06 04:54:54 PM  
Matt is my idol/role-model!!!!11!1!11!!!1

/me starts a fansite, so he has a decent reason to link to x-e without getting grilled for it
2002-09-06 09:23:14 PM  
It's also the movie Rafael saw in Ninja Turtles: the Movie. He's coming out of the theater and there's the CRITTERS poster on the wall. He shakes his head and goes "where do they come up with this crap?" Remember? It was like 2 minutes before Casey Jones beat the crap out of him with a cricket bat.
2002-09-07 12:11:46 PM  
test v2.1
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