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(Reuters)   Smart furniture will tell you if you are putting it together wrong. Option to have it call you a royal dumbass not yet available.   (reuters.com) divider line 41
    More: Spiffy  
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2355 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Sep 2002 at 7:09 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2002-09-04 07:10:44 PM
And it will tell you to lose the pounds too!
 
2002-09-04 07:11:11 PM
I won't read this article. Please delete this post.
 
2002-09-04 07:12:03 PM
but will it tell you if your taste in furniture sucks?
 
2002-09-04 07:13:03 PM
Great. So it'll tell you how to assemble it in a foreign language. Great.
 
2002-09-04 07:14:35 PM
How about a tiny robot that screws in all those allan wrench bolts? Save my thumbs for nose-pickin and internettin.
 
2002-09-04 07:14:39 PM
09-04-02 07:11:16 PM ImmigrationDude
Dress That Monkey!

It's a trap!
 
2002-09-04 07:15:56 PM
Furniture that requires you to ACCEPT a EULA before you put the pieces together. Requires upgrades and patches, otherwise you'll get a virus. Using unapproved accessories may result in a blue screen of death.
 
2002-09-04 07:16:06 PM
In Farkistan You tell Peices what they are doing wrong.
 
2002-09-04 07:17:41 PM
Never trust furniture that talks!
 
2002-09-04 07:18:12 PM
And just what the Fark Happens when those Furnature Peices Crash?

www.worman.net
 
2002-09-04 07:19:01 PM
And just what the Fark Happens when those Furnature Peices Crash?

www.worman.net
 
2002-09-04 07:19:45 PM
well i guess that Helen Keller joke's toast now
 
2002-09-04 07:21:55 PM
if they can invent this why can't they just invent furniture that puts itself together. Or better yet, suck all the air, moisture, matter etc out of it. and pull some Jetsons type of stuff, like it is as big as a pea, then you put a drop of water on it...TA DA! A couch!
 
2002-09-04 07:22:16 PM
But I don't wanna learn Swedish!
 
2002-09-04 07:23:14 PM
I would hate to have a microchip nagging at me while I'm trying to asssemble something.

The talking screwdriver, on the other hand... That would be like having the magic flute from H.R. Puffinstuff. I could carry it around in my shirt pocket and we could have adventures and stuff.
 
2002-09-04 07:23:17 PM
I just want to add that I'm so glad you farkers are back in school. Finally.
 
2002-09-04 07:24:38 PM
My wife usually tells me when I'm apparently doing it wrong, oh wait, we're talking about furniture.
 
2002-09-04 07:24:49 PM
I want nice furniture that will accept me for who I am.

Sofa: Rough day there, tiger? Have a seat.

TV: Yeah, you've earned it there, champ. Why don't you turn me on, watch some Jerry Springer, and have a nice cold beer. Hey, Refrigerator!

Fridge: One cold one, just for you, slugger. I got your favorite, PBR!


God I need some sleep.
 
2002-09-04 07:25:48 PM
Alto,

I see you brought some of those mushrooms from the other thread with you.
 
2002-09-04 07:32:03 PM
I thought furniture ALREADY told you if you put it together wrong. I mean, a chair leg up your ass should give you the message if nothing else does.
 
2002-09-04 07:32:59 PM
oh and the misslabeling problem, i've noticed that one. why does this strang soda say "for even more dericious this drink, cihl before drinking" MOTHER FU<KING DERICIOUS!!! i mean saying it is one thing, but someone had to type this stuff out.
 
2002-09-04 07:33:45 PM
 
2002-09-04 07:35:43 PM
oops, missclick. could someone please wipe this egg off my face, i have no arms and must type with my toes. could explain this whole mix up
 
2002-09-04 07:36:04 PM
If somebody's too dumb to put together furnature, then they should sit on the floor.

Most even have pictures in case you can't read.

Oh well.
 
2002-09-04 07:36:04 PM
 
2002-09-04 07:36:15 PM
Guess I won't be needing this anymore



Whats next, tooth picks with instructions on them. Its enough to make a sane man go wonko.
 
2002-09-04 07:36:19 PM
I'd kill my Fridge if it gave me a PBR.
 
Ant
2002-09-04 07:41:07 PM
Athenax311
if they can invent this why can't they just invent furniture that puts itself together. Or better yet, suck all the air, moisture, matter etc out of it. and pull some Jetsons type of stuff, like it is as big as a pea, then you put a drop of water on it...TA DA! A couch!


Your post made me think of this. Now I'm giggling uncontrollably. Thanks alot...

 
Ant
2002-09-04 07:42:50 PM
Whoops! sorry for stretching the thread so wide
 
2002-09-04 07:44:24 PM
Yeah, I want to pay an extra 100 bucks for particle board furniture. Sounds like a good idea to me. I mean, those diagrams are so hard to follow. Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick, this is stupid!
 
2002-09-04 07:51:03 PM
in case any body cares about props, this idea is fully and functionally developed in a bruce sterling (viridian pope) near future dystopia fiction work called (help me our here... DISTRACTION maybe?)
 
2002-09-04 07:56:16 PM
Now who's going to be smart enough to put the chips into this smart-ass furniture? Everyone's dumbed down, nobody's smart enough to build it, everyone loses, we all go to hell in a handbasket, pardon my french.
 
2002-09-04 08:51:12 PM
I can't cope with the world anymore. Let's all go form a commune so we don't have to deal with insane marketers anymore.
 
2002-09-04 09:02:52 PM
now i'm laughing too, just thinking of all the mini "dehydrated" stuff!
 
2002-09-04 09:37:45 PM
I got a Royal Dumbass in a game of Poker once...
 
2002-09-04 09:47:45 PM
09-04-02 07:17:41 PM Half
Never trust furniture that talks!


Dave: Open the recliner's footrest damnit.

Hal: I'm sorry, I cannot do that Dave.

----
Funny damn headline.
 
2002-09-04 09:53:54 PM
Here's a brainstorm-

SELL US FURNITURE THAT'S ALREADY ASSEMBLED!
 
2002-09-04 10:53:29 PM
The dehydrated furniture idea is cool, yes, but what about the risks? You would have to place it very carefully when rehydrating it, or it could punch a hole in the wall. Or smash your dog.
 
2002-09-05 12:39:02 AM
And even worse, what if they're shipping a truckload of dehydrated furniture, and there's a rainstorm, and the roof of the truck leaks? Suddenly there'd be this explosion of Ikea furniture all over the interstate. Oak-veneer end tables smashing through windshields. Simulated cherry bookshelves inflating themselves under the tires of station wagons carrying orphans. People could die.
 
2002-09-05 01:09:38 AM
KickahaOta- LOL
GAwd- at least we could post it on Fark.
This is why I'm not an engineer..................
 
2002-09-05 01:19:06 AM
*sigh*
 
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