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(Chattanoogan)   Alcohol: Check. Riding jet ski after dark: Check. Boat dock: Check. Dumb things in the dark trifecta now in play   (chattanoogan.com) divider line 53
    More: Dumbass  
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7630 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2007 at 11:38 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-07-02 11:41:37 AM  
I bet they couldnt see the dock because a parachute was in the way....
 
2007-07-02 11:42:23 AM  
submitter: Alcohol: Check not mentioned. Riding jet ski after dark: Check. Boat dock: Check. Dumb things in the dark trifecta now in play

You lose.
 
2007-07-02 11:44:41 AM  
farm2.static.flickr.com

FTFA: ages were 30 and 33, so possibly not a mid life crisis kind of thing, just stupidity. Anyone have any idea how many injuries and fatalities are related to alcohol and boating? I'm gonna guess Joe Sixpack kills himself on a regularly/yearly basis.
 
2007-07-02 11:45:18 AM  
www.laobserved.com
People die in mishaps during the summer. Many of these mishaps involve alcohol.
 
2007-07-02 11:45:59 AM  
So, women can't operate jet skis either?
 
2007-07-02 11:46:43 AM  
Urban Darwinism is back at work on Monday. YAY!
 
2007-07-02 11:47:08 AM  
What's with the water sporting accidents at night subbies?

/didn't these people ever see Jaws?
 
2007-07-02 11:49:21 AM  
Yay Darwin
 
2007-07-02 11:50:33 AM  
And to think that the blood I donated today could go to an asswipe. I'll just have to hope some kid gets hit by a drunk driver.
 
2007-07-02 11:51:47 AM  
Sober people don't ride jet skis after dark.
 
2007-07-02 11:53:05 AM  
looks like the survivor will just have to grin and Barrett!
 
2007-07-02 11:53:47 AM  
FTA: Ms. Stohler was found clinging to the bank near the dock complaining of chest pain.

EMT: Ma'am, are you in any pain?
Lady: Yes, I am
EMT: Could you describe your pain?
Lady: Umm... chest pain?
EMT: Have you ever had an adverse reaction to a boat dock stuck in your torso before? Creosote allergies perhaps?

/who am I to judge
//amateur farker killed while farking at work... film at 11
 
2007-07-02 11:53:47 AM  
i184.photobucket.com

/I get to use it twice today!
//Drunk boating seems to be the solution to drunk driving for some...
 
2007-07-02 11:56:14 AM  
farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2007-07-02 11:58:22 AM  
DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMMMMMM

/Sgt. Friday is getting a kick out of this
 
2007-07-02 11:58:28 AM  
If it's a jet ski accident, there was alcohol involved.

boo on the reporter for failing to include that detail.
 
2007-07-02 11:58:32 AM  
Friends don't let friends drive jet skis...

Nice thing about them is you can only steer by giving it gas -- a lot of accidents people realize they're going to crash, completely throttle back and try and steer. whoops no rudder...

coast guard should use them for target practice
 
2007-07-02 12:02:44 PM  
Here is the surviors mayspace. You' would have hit before if the boat dock hadn't beaten you to it

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=193070 980
 
2007-07-02 12:03:28 PM  
it looks as though ms barrett, who was the driver, wasn't a airhead or sumbag but rather the airbag.
 
2007-07-02 12:04:26 PM  
Jet skis have an ignition interlock that prevents people from starting the engine unless they have a BAC of at least 0.25
 
2007-07-02 12:04:33 PM  
I move to strike the word "trifecta" from all future headlines.

Can I get a second?
 
2007-07-02 12:07:54 PM  
Billygoat Gruff

D'OH!!

Invalid Friend ID.
This user has either cancelled their membership, or their account has been deleted.
nksVoteHLTracker
 
2007-07-02 12:09:07 PM  
Okkaaayyyy...

Not sure what "nksVoteHLTracker" is, or how it got in that post...
 
2007-07-02 12:09:31 PM  
I'll second. Seconding trifecta now in play.
 
2007-07-02 12:10:15 PM  
I'll second. Seconding trifecta now in play.

Okay, let's have it...
 
2007-07-02 12:11:48 PM  
But was the new jet ski damaged??

What can't a woman drive a jet ski in the dark?
Cause she's a woman!
 
2007-07-02 12:15:32 PM  
I get up in the evening, and I drink and ride my jet ski
I wake up in the ER, I get to see how much a girl can bleed
I aint nothing but doll rags, man Im just doll rags and puddled agony
Hey there Nursey, I could use just a fresh IV

You cant stop a jet ski, you cant stop a jet ski without a pier
This drunks for jet skis even if shes now missing her left ear

Message keeps getting clearer, motor revs and Im moving round the lake
I check myself out in the mirror I wanna leave all good sense in my wake

Man I aint getting nowhere going slow on a pond like this
Theres better times if I go faster baby I just know that there is

You cant stop a jet ski, you cant stop a jet ski without a pier
This drunks for jet skis even if shes now missing her left ear

You sit around getting drunker theres a joke here somewhere and its on me
Ill shake this blood off my shoulders come baby this laughs on me

Crash on the piers of this lake and theyll be carving you up alright

They say you got to stay sober hey baby Im in an induced coma tonight

Im dying for some action Im sick of sitting round here trying to get patched up

I need a blood transfusion come on now doctor dont be such a slow fark up!

You cant stop a jet ski, you cant stop a jet ski without a pier
This drunks for jet skis even if shes now missing her left ear
 
2007-07-02 12:16:10 PM  
NightOwl2255: What can't a woman drive a jet ski in the dark?

Fixed that for you
 
2007-07-02 12:16:16 PM  
Theros: Billygoat Gruff

D'OH!!

Invalid Friend ID.
This user has either cancelled their membership, or their account has been deleted.nksVoteHLTracke


Try removing the space in the URL.
 
2007-07-02 12:16:25 PM  
Can't wait to see this one up on The Darwin Awards...
 
2007-07-02 12:23:58 PM  
just type in her name you'll find her, she is the only one that shows up
 
2007-07-02 12:24:10 PM  
People die in mishaps during the summer. Many of these mishaps involve alcohol.

I lol'd! Nice use of the Rick reference.
 
2007-07-02 12:26:43 PM  
Here's the survivor's MySpace page. Now with working link goodness.

Click

/wouldn't hit it either.
 
2007-07-02 12:26:51 PM  
Hack Patooey

Why is she smiling.

www.omogenia.com
 
2007-07-02 12:28:11 PM  
Not her car, not her boat.
 
2007-07-02 12:30:15 PM  
Wait, so you can go boating without alcohol? I thought that was the whole point.
 
2007-07-02 12:38:45 PM  
I came here to say what LandOfChocolate already said, but I was also going to put this up:

www.zolknetwork.com

Subby fails at reading comprehension. The article says they were testing out a new jet ski.
 
2007-07-02 12:44:16 PM  
Theros:

I move to strike the word "trifecta" from all future headlines.


Wait, what?
 
2007-07-02 12:44:19 PM  
MadMattressMack: Subby fails at reading comprehension. The article says they were testing out a new jet ski.

It doesn't say they were "testing" it out.

It says they were "trying" it out. As in "Bill tried smoking pot once but couldn't handle the paranoia." Not "Bill tested some White Widow to be sure it was authentic.
 
2007-07-02 12:48:20 PM  
555-FILK

man, I'm just trying to imagine how that happened and I'm drawing a blank.
 
2007-07-02 12:52:26 PM  
Welcome to Tennessee, where our state motto is: "Hey y'all, watch this!"
 
2007-07-02 12:55:38 PM  
The article says they were testing out a new jet ski.


2 30-ish girls do not 'test' a jetski after midnight unless there is alcohol involved. 'Testing' it does not involve driving at high speed anywhere near shore, and obviously they couldn't see where they were going in time, so it's a definite that alcohol was involved. Don't be so naiive.
 
2007-07-02 12:58:12 PM  
Occupation: jackess of all trades

You can say that again sister....

/Frumpy blonde
//Single, kid
///Refers to cats as "kids" too
//// = Do not want.
 
2007-07-02 01:03:22 PM  
www.rbcollins.net
 
2007-07-02 01:08:29 PM  
thenucker_33 man, I'm just trying to imagine how that happened and I'm drawing a blank.

I'd guess that the boat was tied up to the dock when she hit it. The impact made it drift out, and as luck would have it the car stayed attached. That's not a real dock line attached to the boat.

She's smiling because there's a reasonable chance they can save the car. Oh yeah, and because she didn't drown.
 
2007-07-02 01:24:26 PM  
Local news reports alcohol was a factor.

They was hammered.

/subby
 
2007-07-02 01:33:13 PM  
I took a chick out on my jet ski one night hoping to get some action. After it stalled about 200 yards from shore all I got was a Paddlin'....
 
2007-07-02 01:33:21 PM  
Lake Chickamauga

Maybe the name of this lake should be changed to Lake ChickaMAULa.

Sorry. Got nothing.
 
2007-07-02 02:35:20 PM  
It's illegal to drive a personal watercraft at night because they aren't equipped with any navigation lights.

It's also extraordinarily stupid.
 
2007-07-02 02:56:07 PM  
I hope noone raped the corpse.
 
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