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(Salem News)   Police arrest MySpace douchebag who was molesting underage girls (with mugshot)   (salem-news.com) divider line 219
    More: Dumbass  
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36845 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2007 at 10:54 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-07-01 11:57:14 PM
RunningFool: Since when did Fark become our justice system? It is my opinion that he is guilty. He'll have his trial. But how many unemployed, old car driving, Herpes ridden older guys did you know in High School that were banging consenting young hotties?

Obviously you have never sat on a jury. My point was clear (to the half-educated), so I'll clarify it for you; When you are willing to convict somebody before letting the legal system work (state or federal), you are not allowing the justice system to work. This means you are part of the cause of it's downfall.

This also means when the r-tard-jury sit down, one of them is gonna remember the headline some r-tard posted on Fark.com and focus on the irrational comments of the submitter, rather than focus on what the judge instructed them to do- focus on the evidence.

PS: If it truely an opinion, the headline woulda been more like: MySpace douchebag charged with molesting underage girls (with mugshot).

Isn't there a fark policy against trolling your own headline???
 
2007-07-01 11:57:26 PM
just think what would have happened if he was befriending underage, female, boys!
 
2007-07-01 11:58:05 PM
Will someone please make a PS for this in the tradition of lolcats? You know what I'm talking about! "Let me show you my herpes. My herpes. Let me show you it."

DO IT!
 
2007-07-01 11:58:57 PM
*TWEEEEET!*

Flag on the article...

Unnecessary use of commas...ten yard penalty!
 
2007-07-01 11:59:33 PM
berylman: Wow. By that definition masturbation could be construed as a criminal act of sodomy.

Or "autosodomy," more correctly :)

An underused word, as in the painting by Salvador Dali, "Young Virgin Auto-Sodomized By Her Own Chastity":

http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Giovane-Vergine-Sodomizz-Posters_i402808_.htm

(Possibly NSFW)
 
2007-07-02 12:01:46 AM
I want to see the girls...and their profiles.
Did they have their age correct on the profile?
Or did they have it as 99 or 69 yrs like most do?
If they looked old enough and had false ages,the dude probably never asked....asking a girl her age is usually third date material right ?
Besides ,all rules go into the toilet based on hotness anyways ,right?
Is there a guy in here that wouldn't hit that pole vault chick ,in the pic above,i don't care how old she is,i would,and i have to be at least ten years older than she is.
 
2007-07-02 12:02:12 AM
cyclebiff: When you are willing to convict somebody before letting the legal system work (state or federal), you are not allowing the justice system to work. This means you are part of the cause of it's downfall.

That's a fair complaint. The headline was clearly trolling, but it still doesn't look good for him. The story did make a pretty strong distinction between "statutory" and "rape," much stronger than other stories I have seen.
 
2007-07-02 12:02:53 AM
Damn.. it looks like the cops did a number on him.
 
2007-07-02 12:03:10 AM
Firelick: Is there a guy in here that wouldn't hit that pole vault chick ,in the pic above

(Raises hand)

Not my type.
 
2007-07-02 12:04:12 AM
Somacandra
berylman: Wow. By that definition masturbation could be construed as a criminal act of sodomy.

Or "autosodomy," more correctly :)

I thought "autosodomy" referred to being a raped by a robot...
 
2007-07-02 12:04:44 AM
TheFarkinEmpress: When I was 17, my first lover was 22. Crap, do I have to turn him in?

Apparently you do. As for me, I was 15 when she was 19--I guess Julie's gonna get a visit from the cops on this one too.
 
2007-07-02 12:06:00 AM
RadioactiveApe: I thought "autosodomy" referred to being a raped by a robot...

Ahh, I thought that was "robosodomy." I suppose "autosodomy" could also refer to being assraped by a car. :)
 
2007-07-02 12:06:32 AM
Somacandra: Not my type.

You're off my favorites list. I don't know you anymore...
 
2007-07-02 12:06:37 AM
Parents shmarents.
 
2007-07-02 12:06:56 AM
so wait

if someone is 19 and has a 17 year old girlfriend it is legal for them to have sex

but if they were to talk on the internet about having sex it would be illegal

or if they ended up crossing state lines and they had sex there it would be illegal even if it were legal in both states

or am i wrong about this?
 
2007-07-02 12:07:24 AM
cyclebiff
Obviously you have never sat on a jury. My point was clear (to the half-educated), so I'll clarify it for you; When you are willing to convict somebody before letting the legal system work (state or federal), you are not allowing the justice system to work. This means you are part of the cause of it's downfall.

That is why they have jury selection. Any competent lawyer would weed out anyone who was that obviously biased.

And as for the downfall of the justice system...

/bows
 
2007-07-02 12:07:48 AM
Somacandra
Firelick: Is there a guy in here that wouldn't hit that pole vault chick ,in the pic above

(Raises hand)

Not my type.


Hey everybody I found Somacandra's picture on the intertubes:

www.bbc.co.uk
 
2007-07-02 12:09:21 AM
xen0blue
This guy isn't a pedophile...he's 20 and he was banging girls only 3-5 years younger than him.

He wouldn't be a pedophile if he were 40 or 60, either. Pedophilia refers to recurrent sexual attraction to prepubescent children, generally under the age of 13.
 
2007-07-02 12:10:17 AM
Somacandra
RadioactiveApe: I thought "autosodomy" referred to being a raped by a robot...

Ahh, I thought that was "robosodomy." I suppose "autosodomy" could also refer to being assraped by a car. :)


You mean "rear ended"?

I heard Bob Barker used to do that to a lot of unsuspecting motorists, being senile old pervert and all.
 
2007-07-02 12:10:58 AM
TurnerBrown a loser and a creep.

I fully agree. Creep, loser, weirdo, pervert are all probably reasonable terms for a 20 year old dating a girl who's 15.

BUT, thats still a far cry from an adult molesting a grade-schooler. Treating the two as the same is a travesty of justice.
 
2007-07-02 12:12:56 AM
Stanfan114: Oh, and in case you fail at critical thinking, I am defending the law, not some pervert. This is the thin edge of the wedge: start denying guaranteed rights for the worst of our citizens (which everyone seems to have no problem with). Then we move on to your rights, and the wedge is driven in a little deeper.

The law has to be applied equally to everyone, no matter the alleged crime.


"The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all." --H. L. Mencken
 
2007-07-02 12:15:30 AM
ImOscar:

oh stephen lynch
i saw him recently and he almost played that song but when people were calling out requests someone referred to it as the herpes song making it no longer funny
i was disappointed that he didn't play jim henson is dead when i saw him in jim henson's home town oh well
 
2007-07-02 12:15:51 AM
the pole vault chick is a california college chick who, bizarrely enough, I stumbled upon randomly yesterday on an unrelated site.

NOW, here's my question. SODOMY...define it. I always thought it was shoving something up someone's ass. Next i hear it's anal sex.. then can even be oral sex. help....
 
2007-07-02 12:16:55 AM
Separated at birth?

www.salem-news.com

imagecache2.allposters.com
 
2007-07-02 12:17:07 AM
heypete
Thanks for that quote. Not surprisingly a better writer has summed up my point with fewer words (Mencken).
 
2007-07-02 12:19:18 AM
Stanfan114: Thanks for that quote. Not surprisingly a better writer has summed up my point with fewer words

No problem.

Some days, I really hate people who are more eloquent than I. Makes me look like a gibbering idiot sometimes when it takes me half a page to express an opinion they sum up in two lines.
 
2007-07-02 12:20:26 AM
Somacandra
That's a fair complaint. The headline was clearly trolling, but it still doesn't look good for him. The story did make a pretty strong distinction between "statutory" and "rape," much stronger than other stories I have seen.

Nobody said Fark was impartial. Why do you think the dumbass tag is used so much?
 
2007-07-02 12:22:03 AM
portugese_software: NOW, here's my question. SODOMY...define it. I always thought it was shoving something up someone's ass. Next i hear it's anal sex.. then can even be oral sex. help....

If you really want to know...I'll tell you where you can find the answer. "Sodomy" has never stood for anything specific and unchanging over time. It stands for whatever sexual practices are feared and regarded as socially or politically threatening at a given time and place. Check this out, but I warn you--it is NOT easy reading:

www.press.uchicago.edu

"The Invention of Sodomy In Christian Theology" by Mark D. Jordan.
 
2007-07-02 12:24:12 AM
cockhands
Why wouldn't you sodomize a 15-year old?

1. ...because I dont want poop on my pecker.
2. ...it's an exit, not an entrance.
3. ...I would go to jail, with this guy.
 
2007-07-02 12:24:48 AM
1984 is coming
BUT, thats still a far cry from an adult molesting a grade-schooler. Treating the two as the same is a travesty of justice.

I was not saying they are the same. I think Stautory Rape is a more descriptive leagal term and a more appropriate label for the offender to have to live with if found guilty. When I was 20ish I would have thought that was a bit strong too, However now I have daughters approching their teenage years and I think Jail time and being branded a rapisst is actually pretty light for some herpes infested loser targeting teenagers. What would I wnt to do if it was my daughter? Lets just say Marcellous Wallace would approve.
 
2007-07-02 12:25:17 AM
rec·to·pho·bi·a -- n.

1. The fear of rectums.
2. The fear of the anus.


www.msu.edu
 
2007-07-02 12:28:04 AM
WAGON_ON_WHEELS: Kyle Green was arrested June 25th by Clackamas County Sheriff's Office investigators and lodged in the Clackamas County Sheriff's Office Jail, for the related charges identified as:

* Rape 3
* Sodomy 3
* Sexual Abuse 1
* Sexual Abuse 3
* Contributing to Sexual Delinquency Of a Minor
* Sexual Abuse 1
* Rape 3

Nice emphasis on rape. Such bullshiat, when I was 20, my girl was 17.


He likes rape.....
 
2007-07-02 12:28:59 AM
RadioactiveApe: Hey everybody I found Somacandra's picture on the intertubes:

img367.imageshack.us

Well played :)
 
2007-07-02 12:31:11 AM
BillyBob_The_Magnificent: 1. ...because I dont want poop on my pecker.

That's probably more of a reason to avoid it altogether--not just with 15 year olds.

2. ...it's an exit, not an entrance.

Tell 'em that the next time you have to have:

1) a suppository

2) a prostate exam

3) a colonoscopy

They'll be thrilled.
 
2007-07-02 12:32:35 AM
This sort of thing seems to largely be a chance for elected officials to tout their Toughness on Crime.

I agree with those who say "creepy," and with those who say this is a waste of time. We shouldn't make everything illegal.
 
2007-07-02 12:32:45 AM
heypete
At least now I can quote Mencken and save myself some time. The only problem with extremely clever brevity is sometimes you have to explain it to the gloopy ones, which defeats the point of clever brevity.

By the way, thanks for taking one in the foot for us. I hope it is healing well.
 
2007-07-02 12:35:16 AM
ChadManMn: They need to arrest the reporter and editor too.

Indeed. What's, with, all, the, unnecessary, commas?
 
2007-07-02 12:37:28 AM
Article, has, commas, and, lots, of, them.

/drives off in, an older model red, Jeep, Cherokee.
//Sooooooooooodomy, is such a lonely word..............
 
2007-07-02 12:45:28 AM
While the guy is an idiot, this is full of so much bullshiat, it's not even funny.
 
2007-07-02 12:49:01 AM
marylander
if someone is 19 and has a 17 year old girlfriend it is legal for them to have sex

but if they were to talk on the internet about having sex it would be illegal

or if they ended up crossing state lines and they had sex there it would be illegal even if it were legal in both states

or am i wrong about this?


Yep, and it would also be illegal to photograph it, even if it was legal to have sex in that jurisdiction.

My favorite story of that was one a year ago or so on Fark about a 17 year old girl who was arrested on charges of producing child pornography for taking pornographic pictures of herself. That's like charging someone for child molesting if they are underage and masturbate.
 
2007-07-02 12:49:01 AM
img296.imageshack.us
a little late to the party, but i think it needed to be said.
 
2007-07-02 01:05:14 AM
does anyone know the legal age to get married in oregon? some states have ages as low as 12 years and to make a marriage valid it needs to be consummated- can be grounds for divorce if not. seems a fair bit inconsistent that laws such as that are on the books.
canada's age of consent is 14, which to me seems low if not done with another teenager. a close in age exemption should apply to situations such as this and in many states it does.

however, recklessly giving an incurable STD should be a crime, in canada it is. you can get stung for aggravated sexual assault for knowingly passing on HIV w/o informing the other party.
 
2007-07-02 01:06:13 AM
The_Fuzz:

If only that were true
 
2007-07-02 01:07:41 AM
From TFA:

"Kyle James Green is believed to have befriended underage, female, girls on the internet"

...as opposed to underage, male, girls?
 
2007-07-02 01:08:37 AM
amerikenadian:

According to a quick google, consummation only applies to annullment and not divorce...
 
2007-07-02 01:20:38 AM
Ahem, it's against the law. Don't like the law. Hey, sucks to be you.

Never understood the desire for anal sex. I mean you are this close to the greatest place in the world and you choose door #2?

And now for the radical crazy idea. Treat women with respect and save it for marriage. No STDs, no unwanted pregnancies, no parents coming after you, no unfavorable comparisons, no reputations for being loose.
 
2007-07-02 01:22:54 AM
Somacandra: (Raises hand)

Not my type.


I guess you like fat chicks?
 
2007-07-02 01:25:19 AM
Awww, come on BACON COOKIES,you gotta try before you buy it ...
 
2007-07-02 01:26:12 AM
And now for the radical crazy idea. Treat women with respect and save it for marriage. No STDs, no unwanted pregnancies, no parents coming after you, no unfavorable comparisons, no reputations for being loose.

And no dancin' either. That's the Devil's work.
 
2007-07-02 01:38:09 AM
FIRELICK Heard that before. It's not a clown car, it's a vagina.... or something like that. Unless you are a freak, it will fit and work just fine. Seriously, if you saved it for marriage, you wouldn't know that it wasn't the best ever and you could have the thrill of exploring new things together. You would however be ridiculed on FARK.

/but then there are no protected classes on Fark
//not that there is anything wrong with that.
 
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