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(Some Guy)   "Martinis, garter belts, bathing suits and high heels - why do good things pass away?" Best letter-to-the-editor. Ever   (thenorthwestern.com) divider line 222
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22657 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jun 2007 at 7:39 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-06-29 08:34:16 PM  
First of all, hear, hear!
I looove martinis. Lots of gin, a whiff of vermouth and a twist. Martinis. Not chocolate, not apple, booze, goddammit!
And garter belts, heels, fishnets, stockings with the seams up the back...well, I might be a little bit of a fetishist, but I dig 'em (and the Little Woman complies wonderfully...or at least humors me).
Just to show I don't get without giving, I wear hats. I have a handkerchief, I have a couple shirts with French cuffs and I even know how to tie a bowtie.
 
2007-06-29 08:34:48 PM  
Sorry, I prefer the taste of Vodka in a martini.

Gin is too sweet. It's for fags.

Wait... What the fark did I just type?
 
2007-06-29 08:37:47 PM  
Again, vodka and vermoth may be a tasty cocktail, but it isn't a martini
 
2007-06-29 08:39:30 PM  
daas_boot Gin ruins a good martini

You've obviously never tried Hendricks. Look it up sometime.
 
2007-06-29 08:40:01 PM  
Here here!

The other night I was at the bar, seeing a friends local jazz band. I busted out the wing tips, pocket watch, and gatsby hat. I approached the bar, ordered a martini and I saw him reach for grey goose. "Excuse me, but a martini is gin. Can I get that with tanqueray and vermouth? Extra dry." My grandpa didn't raise me to fark around with my alcohol.
 
2007-06-29 08:40:13 PM  
And I'm having a trouble with HTML tags, too. Grrrrr.
 
2007-06-29 08:40:52 PM  
Daffydil: I like to lick my nipples when I wear a garter myself.

I think I need to change my pants.
 
2007-06-29 08:41:44 PM  
I once had a very nice fedora. Very practical hat in the rain. I left it at the airport in Panama City (Panama, not Florida) and I can't find another one.
 
2007-06-29 08:41:58 PM  
And while we're on the topic, why does a martini cost double the price of almost every other mixed drink at most bars? Getting out a shaker isn't that much more work.
 
2007-06-29 08:42:25 PM  
3rdorderofsimulacra

I've seen Playboys from the seventies. Surely you aren't advocating a return to the crotch 'fro. They looked like Don King without his dentures.

It doesn't have to be completely bare. A nice landing strip or Clitler 'stache gives some character without poking you in the eyes.

Won't you think of the children?
 
2007-06-29 08:43:34 PM  
We Wisconsin cheese heads age well.
 
2007-06-29 08:43:56 PM  
Some high end cocktail bars are serving a martini (vodka) with sake instead of vermouth, it's not bad.
 
2007-06-29 08:44:01 PM  
i.wp.pl

Martini... check.
Garter belt... check.
Bathing suit... check.
High heels... check.

Here Bill, keep the dream alive!
 
2007-06-29 08:44:13 PM  
ScarletAurora: "There is nothing sexier than a man in a good looking Fedora. Oh yeah."

Moved and seconded.
 
2007-06-29 08:45:25 PM  
daas_boot Gin is too sweet? What the hell kind of crap gin are you drinking, anyway? Gin should be resiny and slightly bitter, not sweet.
 
2007-06-29 08:45:36 PM  
High heels blow. Women who look like Betty Boop blow. Martinis blow. This guy sucks.


What goes calack, calack, calack, calack, calack, calack, calack, calack, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, CALACK, calack, calack, calack, calack, calack, calack, calack, calack?

A passing sorority.
 
2007-06-29 08:46:11 PM  
hershmire I agree with the manhattan love.

Ever try and old fashioned?

//and don't even think about adding soda water to it.
 
2007-06-29 08:47:01 PM  
Cheers to you Mr. Bollum.

Oh No Melon
I brought the hat back two years ago. Everyone else just missed it.
 
2007-06-29 08:47:09 PM  
Daas_Boot:
There are many tasty cocktails in the world that have vodka in them, a martini is not one of them.
 
2007-06-29 08:47:32 PM  
Wow, that's pretty much what I wear every Saturday night. Pics in profile.
 
2007-06-29 08:48:14 PM  
jkeith03: a martini is not one of them.

Incorrect. There is nothing better than a dirty VODKA martini.
 
2007-06-29 08:48:33 PM  
I developed a kind of fetish for garter belts and heels when I became a goth. Many goth chicks wear these. Or rather its garters and boots. But still kind of sexy. (And then I grew up--no more goth.)

I knew a guy long ago who played "Frankenfurter" in the live Rocky Horror show in front of the screen. One night he got arrested for DUI and was thrown in the drunk tank in full Frankenfurter regalia: stockings, garter, panties, bra, feather boa. He barely made it out alive. The cops and the drunks were having fun with him.
 
2007-06-29 08:48:56 PM  
dunno about the martini, i don't drink.

but he was bang on about the rest.

/and i wear a hat with my suit.
// strutting peacock or not.
 
2007-06-29 08:49:38 PM  
"Nothing sexier than slowly undressing a man in a suit."

Damn you, daas_boot! I was going to get work done tonight!

/train of through derailed
//thousands lost
 
2007-06-29 08:50:14 PM  
" I find it hard to believe there is such a thing as a chocolate martini"

Believe it, buddy. It's delicious!

"And for the record, there is no such thing as a 'shaved beaver'. Once shaved, it ceases to be a beaver."

So what does it become instead. Whatever it is boys sure seem to like it!...and it enjoys the extra attention and sensation.

\wonders if rocinante721, refuses sex to attractive women on the basis of their having pseudo-vaginas.
\\also wonders if anyone else thinks that Pseudo-vagina would make a great name for a punk rock band
 
2007-06-29 08:50:55 PM  
Ugh. I'm gonna seem contrary, but I disagree with everything in that letter other than 'Martinis is good'.

Purity? Hahaha. Grow up.
 
2007-06-29 08:51:14 PM  
greyspace: I developed a kind of fetish for garter belts and heels when I became a goth. Many goth chicks wear these. Or rather its garters and boots. But still kind of sexy.

There are some pics in my profile you'd probaly sorta like then. ;)
 
2007-06-29 08:51:38 PM  
Sorry but taste is a subjective thing. To me gin has an obnoxious botanical flavor similar to something out of the medicine cabinet.
 
2007-06-29 08:53:16 PM  
Classy man. His lawn shall remain me-less out of respect.

www.porthalcyon.com
/Approve
//As do I
 
2007-06-29 08:54:45 PM  
FTA:

Martinis, garter belts, bathing suits and high heels - why do good things pass away? Tonight I'm going to pour myself a martini, light up my pipe, sit in my backyard and give this matter a lot more thought masturbate furiously.


i think we all knew what he meant . . .

K.B.O. Winston

ScarletAurora: "There is nothing sexier than a man in a good looking Fedora. Oh yeah."

Moved and seconded.


i call the vote.
 
2007-06-29 08:55:12 PM  
insane_idoru:

It may be tasty, but unless it is gin and vermouth, shaken over ice and garnished with an olive with a pimento in it, it is a cocktail, not a martini.

A martini is a specific cocktail. Everything shaken over ice is not a martini. It has a recipe, you can vary the proportions, but not the ingredients.
 
2007-06-29 08:57:20 PM  
GingerGirl

Where have men in stylish suits (with a hat and handkerchief), doors being held open for women, men able to be sexy without being lewd, classic sincere conversation, real slow dancing (not just standing there rubbing bodies),woo'ing before do'ing......I'm sure there is more, but I slammed a finger in a door today and cant type too much.

On some of your points, fashions and social mores change over time. Stylish suits are wonderful, but hard to find and expensive. Doors are still held in my world, irrespecive of gender. It's more due to general politeness and consideration.

As for the rest, those are all aspects of respect and sophistication. That hasn't changed at all. I doubt it was genuinely any more common then than it is now. Still, it does make it all the more valuable when you do find it.

Take care of that finger.
 
2007-06-29 09:00:01 PM  
hmmmm...I have mixed feelings about torture devices such as corsets, stockings and belts. Maybe they should only be required as bedroom wear. The rest of the time can be left for fantasy. And never never forget the vodka martini on the side.
 
2007-06-29 09:00:02 PM  
I only drink gin.
Martinis September through March. Then it's gin and tonic time. No hard rules though.
I love gin. Vodka? Fark off. I love gin.
I love gin.
DofD
 
2007-06-29 09:01:23 PM  
I dunno what's up with you guys, but if you think that pantyhose with seams, Bettie Page fetish heels, and smokin' hot bikinis are out of style, you're not spending summer in the right place.

I love to wear my 'stripper heels', as my boss lovingly calls them, to work. They're fun, surprisingly comfortable, and make my legs look phenomenal. Seriously. I didn't know I had gams until I tried on these shoes.

/5-7-9, ladies.
//Amazing slut shoes.
 
2007-06-29 09:02:51 PM  
FARKER OLDDINOSAUR'S PERFECT MARTINI:

1. Stash a bottle of gin (Gilbey's, Beefeater or Tanqueray will do) in the freezer overnight.

2. You may want to chill the glasses as well, for extra coolness, try for some frost on the outside.

3. Add four parts gin to 1 part Martini & Rossi white (dry) vermouth.

4. Pour into a 3 Oz. cone-shaped glass with a stem.

5. Garnish with a large jumbo olive, with pit, on a toothpick.

6. Avoid any temptation to jazz the thing up by adding spices, flavoring, etc.

7. Drink it slowly at first, as it is delivered at well below freezing, you will want to let it warm to perfect temperature.

8. Don't start on them until you are 1 hour or less from dinner, and don't order more after dinner comes. It is strictly a before-dinner drink.
 
2007-06-29 09:04:18 PM  
Anyway, I don't see what the big deal is with this article. Just some wannabe playboy lamenting that his style isn't en vogue anymore. It's like he wants to be Hugh Hefner or something. Who gives a flying fark, really.

On the martini debate, I never understood why you could make a 'martini' with vodka and still call it a martini. Martinis are made with gin, and gin tastes completely different. You may as well take out the vermouth, too. As long as you pour it in a martini glass you can call it a martini, I guess. Not that I really care, I hate martinis of any kind.
 
2007-06-29 09:05:12 PM  
doesn't take much to impress some of you does it?
i mean pine sol smells mighty tasty and all,
but let's not start writing folk songs for this letter.
 
2007-06-29 09:08:36 PM  
Funny, I was just listening to a song (on The History Capsule podcast on Podcast Alley) that said 'remember when the men were men and the women were women and you could tell them apart?'

The thing is, the song was from the 1920s. The next line was 'now even grandmothers bob their hair and smoke cigars!'

/the more things change
 
2007-06-29 09:09:10 PM  
The reason that you can't have a vodka martini is the predominant flavor of a martini is gin. If it doesn't have the flavoring of juniper berries then it isn't a martini. This is the same reason that flavored vodka is an oxymoron. Vodka is ethanol distilled without aging or flavoring after the distilling. If it is made from grain and aged it is whisk(e)y. If it is made from sugar cane or molasses and aged it is rum.
 
2007-06-29 09:10:09 PM  
Men's hats:

http://www.thefedorastore.com/
 
2007-06-29 09:10:15 PM  
i guess i took the blue pill

but let's not start writing folk songs for this letter.


i've never been the folksy type
but some folks know just what to write
to get a girl like me in a garter belt
it takes a drink or two or three
and i'll be on my mar-ti-knees
sayin' he's the best i ever felt . . .

/couldn't resist
//hates gin
///whiskey ftw
 
2007-06-29 09:12:58 PM  
img146.imageshack.us


I know who this guy is, by the way. I've known him since I was a kid. You should give him a shout out.
 
2007-06-29 09:14:50 PM  
insane_idoru

Wow. I'm speechless. Those were great. I especially like number 7. Reminds me of my goth clubbing days.

And you had interesting links too.

Have your cats ever been LOL_catted?
 
2007-06-29 09:15:22 PM  
Oh, I should have told you. His name is Ken. This is his blog
 
2007-06-29 09:18:21 PM  
A couple of great lines from the movies:

From "A Face in the Crowd", Walter Matthau orders marts: "Two more Joe, and this time just let the vermouth blow a kiss at the gin"

And from "Secret Life of an American Wife", lunch scene, Patrick O'Neal is entertaining business clients and the table is covered in martini glasses: "Another round of marts please, and this time make them doubles, and hold the vermouth"

/try Bombay white, it's a bit drier than the Sapphire
//and ALWAYS Gallo dry vermouth, all the other ones taste like butter
 
2007-06-29 09:22:40 PM  
Isn't it the males in other species that have to be covered in fine and attractive colors in order to attract the female?

Clearly we ladies have been breeding with the wrong mates. We are letting Darwin and the next generation down if we encourage these slips in standards.

/I'll wear hose and a garter if you don't treat a fine suit like a Halloween costume
 
2007-06-29 09:23:23 PM  
Insane_idoru

From looking at your profile I like your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
 
2007-06-29 09:24:42 PM  
hershmire: No love for the Manhattan? I get so much crap from my friends because it's an "old man's" drink.

palan: hershmire I agree with the manhattan love.

2007-06-29 07:56:24 PM
I was there...
 
2007-06-29 09:25:37 PM  
I think it's now common enough to call a vodka+vermouth drink a "vodka martini", it's entered the common lexicon after some 50 years.

Always thought they tasted odd with Grey Goose, a massively overrated vodka with a weird aftertaste. Stoli, IMHO, has a much cleaner taste. Hangar One is incredible, if you can find it.

I drink plenty of martinis (both gin and vodka), and the occasional manhattan. Rarely when I'm out though, as they're expensive in bars and most bartenders will mix them badly (usually a warm glass containing Grey Goose and vermouth in approximately equal proportions, with a lemon twist because they never have any olives *sigh*).

/ Still working on getting the g/f into a garter belt, and finding a nice Panama hat that'll fit my giant head
 
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