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(Some Guy)   "One Woman's Journey To Conquer Her Fear Of Porn." Any guy could have told her it's one step forward, one step back, one step forward, one step back, one step forward   (alternet.org) divider line 250
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18523 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jun 2007 at 6:08 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-06-29 06:13:11 AM
Fear of porn?

/That's absurd.
 
2007-06-29 06:14:11 AM
just think of this and pron will not cross your mind

img292.imageshack.us
 
2007-06-29 06:14:15 AM
My fear is a world without porn. Shutter!!!!
 
2007-06-29 06:14:24 AM
The author:

www.rogner-bernhard.de

/fap fap fap
 
2007-06-29 06:15:37 AM
What ever you do, DO NOT GIS for Bad Porn...


/don't do it...
//just....don't.....do...it
 
2007-06-29 06:18:06 AM
God--: What ever you do, DO NOT GIS for Bad Porn...

Eff you, that immediately makes everyone do it.

farkING GROSS DO NOT GIS BAD PORN NONONONONONONO

/at least not without safesearch...not sure what that ends up in.
 
2007-06-29 06:20:41 AM
she categorized porn as anti-feminist and misogynistic

fap

a group who call themselves the Naughty Knitters in reference to gatherings involving knitting for charity, drinking, and hashing out the issues of their varied lives.

fap fap fap

Pornology encourages readers to eliminate shame about desires, open dialogues about sex, and of course, make and conquer their own porn to-do lists.

fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap!

/*cry
 
2007-06-29 06:21:43 AM
Most of the porn I watch probably is "anti-feminist and misogynistic". Women are usually very underrepresented...
 
2007-06-29 06:23:49 AM
FTA: "The annual U.S. porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of all major league football, baseball, and basketball franchises." -- Family Safe Media


Yeah, I dont believe that at all.
 
2007-06-29 06:25:19 AM
www.mixxer.com

/eye bleachy goodness
 
2007-06-29 06:28:27 AM
 
2007-06-29 06:32:01 AM
My main question when to comes to how much pron revenues are is:

Who the hell pays for pron?????
 
2007-06-29 06:34:31 AM
I have yet to meet a girl who didn't get hot and bothered by pr0n. They might say "it's gross" or whatever, but physical evidence has always shown that they were somewhat intrigued.
 
2007-06-29 06:36:07 AM
I haven't decided whether this article is hilarious or just sad.
 
2007-06-29 06:40:07 AM
I think girls aren't disgusted by the porn, but rather intimidated by the fact that the girl doing it is so "free" / confident to be open about their sexuality
 
2007-06-29 06:41:31 AM
DeadAir04 I hear that cryingwhilemasturbating.com is registered.
-J-
 
2007-06-29 06:47:05 AM
acmeraptor: /eye bleachy goodness

Mmmm... Cylon
 
2007-06-29 06:58:35 AM
Langdon Alger - I'm irritated by the fact the sexually open and confident female is also described in terms of dirty, filthy, whore, slut, biatch, etc. I'm sure some people like to be called names but it's still got that completely trashy, disrespectful, degrading angle to it.

Women can also be intimidated by the fact the girl doing it pretty much willing to do anything she's paid to do, meanwhile if they don't want to do something that will be physically painful or psychologically humiliating, they'll be considered uptight or prudish. It's hard to imagine some woman asking a guy to be humiliated or hurt, if he's not into it, just because she'll enjoy it. But it's fairly easy to picture a guy doing that considering how many times that shows up in porn. Before watching porn, I had no idea so many men get off on women being called stupid, filthy whores or dumb little biatches, etc. Porn was just depressing, certainly nothing to get hot and bothered about. Besides, the guys all looked like trailer trash or frat boy douchebags. Bleah.
 
2007-06-29 07:14:17 AM
Langdon Alger

It isn't so much sexual freedom. It's being pounded that turns off most women to porn.

Porn mostly caters to male fantasy. Watch Oxygen late at night. They have non-nudity stuff that caters to women. You'll see a world of difference between what women like and what men like. Oddly none of it features women being DPed.
 
2007-06-29 07:17:25 AM
Langdon Alger: I think girls aren't disgusted by the porn, but rather intimidated by the fact that the girl doing it is so "free" / confident to be open about their sexuality

And their natural talent to handle multiple cocks so flawlessly.
 
2007-06-29 07:20:23 AM
Langdon Alger: I think girls aren't disgusted by the porn, but rather intimidated by the fact that the girl doing it is so "free" / confident to be open about their sexuality.

I think most girls (who aren't in porn) are ambivalent towards it. I also think the large majority of girls in porn are doing it not because they're "free" or "confident about their sexuality" or some other new age empowerment crap, but because they need the $200 so bad they're willing to let the world watch them get nailed on the internet.

I think there's a small minority who are in porn because the money can be great (if you're at the top of the pyramid, not renting yourself out by the hour to a photographer/distributor who reaps the real profits).

I think there's a very smaller minority who do it because they enjoy it (though for every free spirit, I have to wonder if there are 10 with abysmal self-esteem, looking for validation).

Nothing wrong with porn, I'm a big fan, but let's not kid ourselves and pretend that a job sucking dick on camera is anything other than two steps behind cleaning the deep fryer on the career and personal-fulfillment ladder. It's work, not welfare, so that's something. And it entertains guys like me, so that's something else.
 
2007-06-29 07:24:49 AM
FunkOut:
Before watching porn, I had no idea so many men get off on women being called stupid, filthy whores or dumb little biatches, etc.

Avoid this porn, it's both unarousing and psychologically disturbing. And, alas, common these days, when every perverted asshat with $400 and a camera can be a pornographer. And they seem to cater to the pure scumbag demographic.

(though I was surprised the first time a GF asked me to call her "my biatch" in bed...)

ethernet76:
You'll see a world of difference between what women like and what men like. Oddly none of it features women being DPed.

I imagine some women get off on a good DP scene - it doesn't mean they'd want to DO it, but that's not what we're talking about here.
 
2007-06-29 07:26:48 AM
H31N0US: I have yet to meet a girl who didn't get hot and bothered by pr0n.

Yeah, I think H31NOUS and I have been around the same women. Oh, and 11 games back now H and in third... in case you missed it.
 
2007-06-29 07:29:54 AM
Women are taught to treat sex as a defeat.

Fortunately, many see through that bullshiat, but there's still some residual guilt/anxiety/whatever, so that can crop up from time to time.

That said, a lot of current porn is a farking abomination. What's with all the domination/humiliation/abuse? WTF? People don't enjoy just farking anymore?
 
2007-06-29 07:31:12 AM
I like porn, but I think a lot of it is stupid and unsexy. It has the potential to be something more women would probably like and enjoy, but so much of it is just too crude.

The first thing they need to do is get rid of the "up and under" shot where you see more of the guy's hairy azzhole than anything! It's the worst camera angle in porn, yet it's the one you see most often! Hairy guy butts = teh scary!

I don't get the whole preoccupation with facials, either.
 
2007-06-29 07:39:53 AM
I'm irritated by the fact the sexually open and confident female is also described in terms of dirty, filthy, whore, slut, biatch, etc. I'm sure some people like to be called names but it's still got that completely trashy, disrespectful, degrading angle to it.

As 'techdad' said to me once: "Women are all sluts - God love 'em."

Sometimes, I'll find porn interesting; I do dislike the pound/pound/change position/spank/money shot variety. What turns me on, though, is seeing my husband get aroused, and having him describe to me what he finds exciting. Some amateur porn is nice - there aren't plastic boobies, and the sex is for the benefit of the partners, not the camera angles.

/real orgasms are hawt
 
2007-06-29 07:41:10 AM
I fap away to the late night stuff on Oxygen
 
2007-06-29 07:43:54 AM
Pornology encourages readers to eliminate shame about desires, open dialogues about sex, and of course, make and conquer their own porn to-do lists.

Um, I've tried that before, it went something like this:

"Hey hon, instead of me watching porn by myself do you wanna try this?"

"No"

"What about this?"

"No"

"This?"

"NO!"

"Oh, well, I'll be on the computer then....."

"MISOGYNIST!"

www.lost.co.nz

Seems like guys can do anything a woman asks and they still don't get to have any fun. Are we supposed to be happy that we just asked and didn't get to compromise, AT ALL!?
 
2007-06-29 07:44:30 AM
"Blah Woman blah blah blah Porn."

*clicks link*

Blah blah blah....

*clicks close*
 
2007-06-29 07:50:22 AM
my point is we all want a lday to bring home to mom, who is also a whore in the bedroom ---most of the time that doesn't happen -- and porn gives you that fantasy that maybe you will meet that kind of girl
 
2007-06-29 07:54:21 AM
yeah i meant to type "lady"

stupid hangover and early morning work time
 
2007-06-29 07:55:37 AM
Suflig

Your cartoon reminded me of something I realized one day while watching a porn debate on some women's daytime TV show.

The anti-porn side was represented by Andrea Dworkin and some short haired woman who looked a lot like Neil Patick Harris. They were both lesbians. Dworkin spewed out her typical "intercourse is rape" bullshiat while the other one would start yelling and shouting everytime one of the pro-porn people would try to speak! The host of the show (a female) did nothing to balance out the discussion and gave most of the floor time to Dworkin and her buddy. They went on and on about women being held captive and forced to do it, white slavery, etc. typical feminist garbage that gets pulled out everytime one of them gets a public forum. They went off on a tangent about "rape porn", which was a very rare commodity even then, and it was obvious they were framing the discussion to generate the most shock and awe at the dowdy female audience members who appeared to be easily frightened.

The overwhelming sensation I was left with was that Dworkin and her pal were both manhaters and since men like porn, it had to be done away with as some sort of punishment.

That cartoon reminded me of what I saw that day, and how sad it truly was.
 
2007-06-29 07:57:25 AM
FunkOut:

I'm irritated by the fact the sexually open and confident female is also described in terms of dirty, filthy, whore, slut, biatch, etc. I'm sure some people like to be called names but it's still got that completely trashy, disrespectful, degrading angle to it.

Well, the obvious caveat aside that porn isn't "Real" - it's easy to understand what you are seeing when you look at that kind of stuff. Basically the actors are portraying caricitures of hyper-sexualized male and female behavior. The women will be portrayed as being a submissive, eager partner willing to do anything, no matter how dirty for the man while the male is portrayed as a powerful, dominating sexual tyrant.

Just think of them as exaggerated sexual stereotypes and as porn being something akin to really bad theatre where all the actors are hamming it up.

It's hard to imagine some woman asking a guy to be humiliated or hurt, if he's not into it, just because she'll enjoy it.


That's probably because it goes against what we typify as standard female behavior. Inversely is it hard to imagine a woman who would be willing to be humiliated or hurt, even if she's not into it, just because the man wants it?

Not so far fetched, is it?

Now these behaviors are extremes, and probably very unhealthy. I have some cachet on this subject because I am married to a very wonderful woman who happens to also be a sub in the bedroom. She enjoys many things related to bondage, submission and power roleplaying. In our relationship there is established boundaries and rules for what goes on in our bedroom and under what circumstances certain things happen.

Now, people will think whatever they want, but this woman is my wife and I love her dearly. But at the risk of being very graphic, one of her favorite scenarios involves a ball gag, cuffs, vibrators and a whole lot of knocking on the backdoor if you get what I mean.

Does it sound humiliating and degrading? Well... that's tricky. She likes this kind of play, so it's hard to say that it's really degrading, although I think that's part of the attraction to it. But at the same time, if she wants to do these things, then how can that wash? I have to admit that I don't fully understand the satisfaction she gets from it, but then again I don't really have to I suppose.

Now, this may sound like a lot of guys fantasys - having a wife that's so kinky, but to tell you the truth there are days when I am just tired of it. It probably doesn't occur to women, but there is a lot of damn pressure with always having to switch into this role of this hyper sexual dominate stud and it does take a mental strain on you. Luckily my wife's tastes run all the way from that extreme down to much more vanilla sex so I get plenty of "down time" in between what we call our marathon "Master/Slave Girl" sessions. I'm thankful for it because OMFG am I afraid of being any more perverted than I already am! (It's all her fault too, I swear!)

Anyway, I guess what I am pointing out is that alot of the porn that you find so degrading is just, well, one flavor that's out there. It's certainly not the only flavor and just like any flavor, you might like to sample it just every now and then but not every day. And, while it might not float your boat, there are definately some other females out there that don't mind taking a peak at it every now and then.


Porn was just depressing, certainly nothing to get hot and bothered about. Besides, the guys all looked like trailer trash or frat boy douchebags. Bleah.


Well, you're definately just not finding the right stuff then. I'm guessing that you probably just haven't looked enough because HOLY CRAP is there a lot of different (and varied) porn out there.
 
2007-06-29 08:14:28 AM
FunkOut: It's hard to imagine some woman asking a guy to be humiliated or hurt, if he's not into it, just because she'll enjoy it.

In my experience, they do that all the time, just not as much in bed.
 
2007-06-29 08:18:43 AM
FunkOut: It's hard to imagine some woman asking a guy to be humiliated or hurt, if he's not into it, just because she'll enjoy it.

Hard why? Not much imagination?

/Nothing else to say, TwistedFark has posted a great reply anyway.
 
2007-06-29 08:20:32 AM
The whole dom/sub thing, really bugs me for some reason. I think it's the whole latex outwear zipper mask thing. I just don't get it. I guess it's some pent up psychology from childhood something or other...too early to analyze...
 
2007-06-29 08:20:45 AM
Twisted Fark

I have a wife that sounds like she is very similar to your own as far as her bedroom "tastes". It took quite a while to get her to be comfortable with doing some of the things we do but not for the reasons you would expect. She was more worried about what I would think of her if she confessed to me that she really really liked being the submissive! Apparently, she had fantasies like this way back even in her teenage years before becoming sexually active, but she had to resolve her internal struggle about "good vs. naughty" based on what she had been taught and had seen from her peers before she could allow herself to indulge.

She also had issues with porn. She would go through my computer looking for it and give me shiat about it from time to time. What she didn't tell me was that she would get turned on by what she saw, yet had this "conditioning" that this is something she should disapprove of because someone somewhere told her it was wrong! Her head told her one thing, her body said another. Luckily, she listened to her body and not the bullshiat other people were telling her!

I think a lot of womem who dislike porn have some serious insecurity issues and a certain amount of self esteem problems. They feel that they have to try and compete with the porn girls and the pressure is too much for some. Some of them are also lazy in bed, and don't want to feel like they have to actually do some of the things porn women do on camera.
 
2007-06-29 08:28:20 AM
And now you're doing the Cha-Cha.
 
2007-06-29 08:33:53 AM
Suflig: Seems like guys can do anything a woman asks and they still don't get to have any fun. Are we supposed to be happy that we just asked and didn't get to compromise, AT ALL!?

Yes.
 
2007-06-29 08:37:19 AM
TwistedFark: Now, people will think whatever they want, but this woman is my wife and I love her dearly. But at the risk of being very graphic, one of her favorite scenarios involves a ball gag, cuffs, vibrators and a whole lot of knocking on the backdoor if you get what I mean.

Dude. You're my new hero.

\Wishes his wife would do stuff like that
 
2007-06-29 08:37:44 AM
DeadAir04

Inspired by you, I googled "crying while masturbating". It's a little disappointing on the whole, but I found and liked this little gem:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wrapping+presents
 
2007-06-29 08:43:10 AM
I just had a conversation about this last night with my dear friend. I think we don't like it because we're jealous, honestly. Same thing that makes me get out the "good jeans" if we're going to Hooters. Maybe it's worse if you were once really cute. You look at that stuff and think, I used to look like that. And now, you know, after kids and gravity, the boobs almost disappear when you're on your back. Hail damage is getting worse. And then you're faced with what "used to be" and you miss it, and you're pissed that men (read..your husband) obviously still find 19-year-old bodies the most attractive... and there ain't any amount of exercise or lotions gonna make you 19 again. Sucks.
 
2007-06-29 08:49:57 AM
imageigloo.com
 
2007-06-29 08:53:15 AM
cackylacky: you're pissed that men (read..your husband) obviously still find 19-year-old bodies the most attractive... and there ain't any amount of exercise or lotions gonna make you 19 again. Sucks.

Should I be pissed that women find Brad Pitt attractive, even though I'll never look like him? Should I be upset because I'll never look like a male stripper? Should I be sad because I'll never have a 9" dingaling?

Hell no.

What you're really upset about isn't that your husband likes the way 19 year olds look, or that you'll never look 19 again. It's that you think his sexual attraction to these women is the same as his sexual attraction to you, when it's not. There's no emotional connection in it like there is with you.

There will always be women prettier than you. Your husband was aware of this before he married you, and yet he married you anyway. That means you must have something that nobody else in the world has, and it's important enough to him to forego all those 19 year olds.

To put it another way: Yeah, he goes to Hooters, but he still comes home to you.
 
2007-06-29 08:58:05 AM
You all say MISOGYNIST like it's a bad thing.
 
2007-06-29 08:59:22 AM
Like with any other genre of film, some of the porn out there is good, and some of it sucks (in the bad way). Some of it is so bad that it's unintentionally hilarious, and a lot of it is just plain boring. There are things I'll watch and things I won't. I don't really watch porn very often though. I tend to read erotica more often.
 
2007-06-29 09:01:56 AM
TeddyBallGame: Oh, and 11 games back now H and in third... in case you missed it.

There's no baseball in Pr0n.
 
2007-06-29 09:04:45 AM
FTFA: She loses her cool when the clerk sees the titles and immediately surmises that she is being seen as "a kinky horny nymphomaniac chicken slut."

Hell, nobody likes being called a chicken.
 
2007-06-29 09:07:01 AM
TwistedFark: Does it sound humiliating and degrading?

Sounds kinda hot.

I'm thankful for it because OMFG am I afraid of being any more perverted than I already am!

I wish I had your problems.

/I'd have to do something about the whole "being single" thing first
 
2007-06-29 09:08:39 AM
For the women out there on marriage/relationships:Be a lady in public but also be a whore in the bedroom.

Wish I had reason to be a whore in the bedroom. Oh well, I do have fingers after all.
 
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