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(CNN)   Sliced Peanut Butter   ( ) divider line
    More: Cool  
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3315 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jul 2001 at 8:18 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

65 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-07-17 08:28:46 AM  
MMMhhhhmmmm...peanut buttery goodness...(drool)
2001-07-17 08:30:10 AM  
*shudders at thought of it*
2001-07-17 08:44:34 AM  
2001-07-17 08:46:22 AM  
I eat peanut butter by the spoonful, I think it is one of the greatest foods ever made. However, were it in slice format, it couldn't possibly be as creamy. In that case this product sounds creepy. Peanut butter wants to be creamy, not dried out like the stuff in a reese's cup...
2001-07-17 08:50:02 AM  
2001-07-17 08:55:33 AM  
Sounds too nasty for words.
2001-07-17 08:55:39 AM  
While half of Africa starves to death, America experiments with NEW ways of putting food on other pieces of food.
2001-07-17 08:56:49 AM  
yet one more damn reason I have to built a sanctuary from the asylum...where is WonkotheSane. I'm coming to shack up with you there big guy.
2001-07-17 09:01:22 AM  
What's next? Jelly slices???
2001-07-17 09:03:01 AM  
If your kid can't get regular peanut butter on bread for a sandwich, hold him or her back a few grades.
2001-07-17 09:08:21 AM  
"The kids can make their own peanut butter sandwiches without making a mess,"

So letting kids unwrap the peanut butter and use their hands to apply it will make less of a mess than a utensil?
2001-07-17 09:13:18 AM  
I heard that in Britain you can use these for condoms.
2001-07-17 09:21:19 AM  
What they need to do is make fluff come in a squeeze bottle, that shiat is impossible not to make a mess with!

Hey, ya know, that's not a half bad idea...

I got a copyright on it!
2001-07-17 09:40:20 AM  
Hehe.. So now they are forcing you to have a pre-set amount of peanut butter! Well, using 16 of the slices should equal the normal amount we all use... But now it would have to be harder to keep form in the plastic, so I wonder if it will still get stuck to the top of your mouth and prevent you from winning the prize on the radio on the Got Milk ads ;)

2001-07-17 09:42:52 AM  
Oh yes. Let's do all we can to make the kids of the country just a little bit lazier. What's next? Containers of pre-chewed peanut butter sandwiches? Just open and swallow. None of that messy chewing involved. Jesus Fark.
2001-07-17 09:50:28 AM  
Who the fark put a cool tag on this? Pre-sliced peanut butter sounds seventeen shades of gross if you ask me. Last I checked, peanut butter was meant to just be spread, not cut. If you can cut your peanut butter, there's something wrong with it. I can just about promise all of you this tastes like ass.
2001-07-17 10:00:49 AM  
Its not for convenience, its for fat-ass americans that can't be assed to do anything more than is needed when away from the TV waddling about in the kitchen!
2001-07-17 10:12:04 AM  
And just what does "ass" taste like?
2001-07-17 10:17:44 AM  
You guys are so negative.
2001-07-17 10:19:11 AM  
Poor ol' Elvis would rolling around in his grave. How you going to make a peanut butter and bacon roll with that shiat.
2001-07-17 10:20:22 AM  
This gets a "Cool" tag? Shoulda been "Asinine".
2001-07-17 11:10:40 AM  
FYI: here in Columbus, I have seen peanut butter AND jelly slices (not separate, it's one slice with both)
I will not try them. Ick.
2001-07-17 11:20:16 AM  
Um, if I get the chunky kind, will it look like a giant turd sitting in my fridge?
2001-07-17 11:22:59 AM  
Hmmm, I could probably use this to patch the rust holes in my car.
2001-07-17 11:26:03 AM  
DrDave : I posed that question to the first person I ever heard use the phrase of something tasting like ass. He replied, "Imagine eating an ashtray full of cigarette butts that have been smoked by hookers wearing way too much lipstick, then gargle with tequila, but spit, don't swallow it, and then smoke four or five Phillie's Blunt cigars, and don't puke from any of that. The taste in your mouth after that all is what ass tastes like."
2001-07-17 11:26:10 AM  
I can't wait for the reactions when kids start throwing these in public swimming pools.
2001-07-17 11:28:08 AM  
Just another reason Americans are thought of as lazy. "I don't want to have to wash a KNIFE, goddam it!!!! Put it in slice form!"

P.S. "researchers were hard at work on crunchy slices"
Aren't we all.
2001-07-17 11:37:09 AM  
Well it's certainly no BurgerPipe. But I see potential. A bag of these and a bag of the pre-sliced apples and we have a party goin' on.
2001-07-17 11:37:26 AM  
They're comparing it to cheese slices. I'll lay odds that they have the consistancy of cheese slices too. I can see the expression on my 3-year-old neice's face if my sister tried to give her sandwich like that!

Speaking of cheese, my Grandfather used to eat Limburgher cheese when he was younger. My Aunt would always try to get a bite of whatever my Grandfather was eating. When she tried that with the cheese, he cut off a chunk and popped it in her mouth. Her eyes teared up and she started crying and ran to her mother yelling, "My daddy gave me poop!"

The stuff that family ledgends are made of!
2001-07-17 11:53:39 AM  
I saw this on the news last week and they DID look a lot like cheese slices. Only they were shiny and brown!
The kids seemed to like them. But kids will do anything when there's a camera rolling.
2001-07-17 11:58:27 AM  
Hmm... So fine, I'm now convinced that beef flavored gum (that alone should be a problem) tastes like ass.

I wonder why ass is such a negative term.
"It tastes like ass"
"It sounds like ass"
"It smells like ass"

All of these phrases are becoming more and more popular...
2001-07-17 12:42:23 PM  
COOL??? Yeah great more packaging for lazy fat Americans.
Just what the world needs right now
2001-07-17 12:47:26 PM  
They better come in bite size.
2001-07-17 12:47:37 PM  
McGlynn is taking all the fun away from making a PB&J. Dumbass.
2001-07-17 12:51:22 PM  
I like giving my dog a big ol' hunk of peanut butter.
Yeehaaaa that's funny stuff.
2001-07-17 12:52:34 PM  
My family uses a spoonful of peanut butter to cure a case of the hiccups. And it works a lot better than holding your breath or drinking a glass of water. All America should know about this!!!
2001-07-17 01:06:27 PM  
Q: What do you get the consumer society that has everything?

A: Sliced peanut butter!

This is ridiculous, but only as a singular example of post-modern captitalism at its finest -- finding new ways to squeeeeeze money out of the consumer by stimulating non-existent needs.
2001-07-17 01:46:00 PM  
Wake me when aerosol peanut butter is a reality.
2001-07-17 01:48:51 PM  
This will be the hottest item on the market since Goober Grape!
2001-07-17 01:49:41 PM  
Jelly slices? Isn't that what fruit rollups are?
2001-07-17 01:57:03 PM  
Whats next premade Macaroni and cheese...
Prepackage milk and cereal....
Peanut butter and jelly mixed in the same jar...
How about PreToasted Bread with the butter squeezed
out of a bottle....
2001-07-17 02:00:55 PM  
My response can be summed up in 3 letters, MRE. U.S. Veterans? need we say more?
2001-07-17 02:07:39 PM  
Ugh. Next thing you know they'll be coming out with slices of mayonnaise.

It's future-tastic!
2001-07-17 02:19:07 PM  
CharlieBrown There already is peanut butter and jelly in 1 jar, it came out a long time ago, but didn't get too popular.

BizarreBehavior MREs have a good excuse though, soldiers can't go around carrying a kitchen or anything. Sliced peanutbutter is just being lazy.

If anyone really wants to know what ass tastes like you can always go to your significant other, (being politically correct here) or if you don't have you try to find one. Then stick your tongue in his/hers ass. That's what it tastes like. Or another way is to take a crap and put it in your mouth.

I might actually get one of these peanut butter things, I kinda want to try it out.
2001-07-17 02:20:04 PM  
mmmmm... sliced mayonaise
2001-07-17 02:20:20 PM  
Next great invention "Bread in a jar"
2001-07-17 02:29:43 PM  
charlieBrown I have seen the prepackaged cereal and milk; What do you think Stouffer's frozen macaroni n cheese is..premade macaroni and cheese.
2001-07-17 02:34:50 PM  
Remember Koogle!
2001-07-17 03:00:03 PM  
Damn it.
They have already stolen my ideas!
2001-07-17 03:02:35 PM  
Old Steven Wright Joke
(Say this in a low monotone delivery)

"I put instant coffee in the microwave,
and went back in time."
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