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(Guardian)   Titus Pullo gets stiffed by American tourists in front of the Colosseum, goes all Thirteenth Legion on their tightwad asses   (guardian.co.uk ) divider line 140
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22009 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jun 2007 at 12:52 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-06-28 10:51:22 AM  
They tell Americans not to tip in Europe, and that everyone makes jokes about how we try to pay extra for everything.

But then this shiate happens. I can understand the confusion.
 
2007-06-28 12:05:56 PM  
www.mwscomp.com

/ has sumfin 4 ya
 
2007-06-28 12:38:09 PM  
"When I offered €6 [£4] the centurion, a big guy, started screaming and removing his armour," said Mr Aznar, 50, who won his trip to Italy with his wife in a charity auction. "When I offered extra dollars, he said 'In Italy we blow our nose with dollars' and called me a son of a biatch, a mafioso and a cuckold."


That's our Pullo!
 
2007-06-28 12:56:32 PM  
Italians aren't dim-witted, short-tempered and violent, that's just a racist stereotype. Right?
 
2007-06-28 12:57:32 PM  
cuckold trifecta about to be in play?
 
2007-06-28 12:58:24 PM  
It would not be the first time Rome's modern centurions have resorted to violence.

resorted to violence? RESORTED to violence? that would presume that he had tried something OTHER than violence FIRST.
 
2007-06-28 12:58:32 PM  
"Nice one Centurion, like it, like it"

/Not in the least bit obscure
 
2007-06-28 12:58:52 PM  
Are you not entertained?
 
2007-06-28 12:59:48 PM  
All I can do now is wait for the noise.
 
2007-06-28 01:00:03 PM  

Arrests were made in 2003 after an argument between rival bands of costumed Romans over turf rights outside the Colosseum resulted in a fist fight in front of tourists.


"Tonight's top story: when LARPers attack!"

Oops...

"Storia superiore della stasera: quando attacco di LARPers!"
 
2007-06-28 01:00:05 PM  
Send in the Christians!
 
2007-06-28 01:00:35 PM  
He has a wife, you know.

Incontinentia.


Incontinentia Buttocks
 
2007-06-28 01:00:45 PM  
I would have loved to have seen the 2 groups of roman soldier imposters fighting. Monty Pythonesque for sure.
 
2007-06-28 01:00:59 PM  
Arrests were made in 2003 after an argument between rival bands of costumed Romans over turf rights outside the Colosseum resulted in a fist fight in front of tourists.

That is so farking awesome.
 
2007-06-28 01:01:00 PM  
Get back in formation you drunken fool!
 
2007-06-28 01:01:34 PM  
That guy is a Biggus Dickus
 
2007-06-28 01:01:40 PM  
Pah. My fwend Bigus Dickus would have pummewled them as well!
 
2007-06-28 01:01:50 PM  
They've bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers' fathers.
And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.
Yeah.
And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.
Yeah. All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?!
The aqueduct?
What?
The aqueduct.
Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah.
And the sanitation.
Oh, yeah, the sanitation, Reg. Remember what the city used to be like?
Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done.
And the roads.
Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don't they? But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct, and the roads--
Irrigation.
Medicine.
Huh? Heh? Huh...
Education.
Ohh...
Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.
And the wine.
Oh, yes. Yeah...
Yeah. Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Reg, if the Romans left. Huh.
Public baths.
And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now, Reg.
Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let's face it. They're the only ones who could in a place like this.
Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Brought peace.
Oh. Peace? Shut up!
 
2007-06-28 01:03:02 PM  
Excuse me - I have just one question:

What the hell is a "cuckold"?
 
2007-06-28 01:03:46 PM  
Buskethead: 2007-06-28 01:01:34 PM
That guy is a Biggus Dickus
IrishBlunder: 2007-06-28 01:01:40 PM
Pah. My fwend Bigus Dickus would have pummewled them as well!


Mere seconds from being a bizarre simulpost.
 
2007-06-28 01:03:53 PM  
He cant boink that chick with the big hoots anymore though, she's dead.
 
2007-06-28 01:07:10 PM  
"Tonight's top story: when LARPers attack!"

LIGHTNING BOLT!
 
2007-06-28 01:07:48 PM  
bender127

A miserable pile of secrets?
 
2007-06-28 01:08:18 PM  
img267.imageshack.us
 
2007-06-28 01:08:42 PM  
How much extra did he charge for the beating?
 
2007-06-28 01:09:00 PM  
Arrests were made in 2003 after an argument between rival bands of costumed Romans over turf rights outside the Colosseum resulted in a fist fight in front of tourists.

Now there's something I would pay good money to see.
 
2007-06-28 01:09:06 PM  
bender127 2007-06-28 01:03:02 PM
Excuse me - I have just one question:

What the hell is a "cuckold"?


A man whose wife is cheating on him.

Back in the historical days, it was beyond embarrasing to be cuckolded.
 
2007-06-28 01:10:02 PM  
What the hell is a "cuckold"?

Remember when your wife got home late the other day, well ....
 
2007-06-28 01:10:06 PM  
I would hate to be attacked by a geeky italian dressed in body armour, that smells like he has not been in a shower for almost a year.
 
2007-06-28 01:10:23 PM  
bender127: What the hell is a "cuckold"?

A married man whose wife has sex with other men.
 
2007-06-28 01:10:24 PM  
news.bbc.co.uk

NOT YOURS!
 
2007-06-28 01:10:35 PM  
Bender127

"A cuckold is a married man whose wife has sex with other men"
 
2007-06-28 01:11:39 PM  
Vendetta! Vendetta! Farfalle vendetta!

/obscure?
 
2007-06-28 01:12:31 PM  
bender127: What the hell is a "cuckold"?

-noun
1.the husband of an unfaithful wife.
 
2007-06-28 01:12:51 PM  
tbn0.google.com

"Dammit, Titus, for the last time, count to X."
 
2007-06-28 01:13:06 PM  
gorgor

That car is beautiful.
 
2007-06-28 01:14:33 PM  
"THIRTEEN! THIRTEEN!"

/"It's hotter than Vulcan's dick out here!"
 
2007-06-28 01:15:05 PM  
farm2.static.flickr.com

"Now go get your farkin' shine box!"
 
2007-06-28 01:15:12 PM  
What is a cuckold?

InternetLOL

A miserable pile of secrets?

The_one_with_that_guy

A man whose wife is cheating on him.

Back in the historical days, it was beyond embarrasing to be cuckolded.


Gussie Fink-Nottle

Remember when your wife got home late the other day, well ....

Nuuu

A married man whose wife has sex with other men.

This is what I love about Fark - almost as fast as Google, and way more comprehensive.
 
2007-06-28 01:15:15 PM  
Do No fark With The XIIIth!
 
2007-06-28 01:15:20 PM  
"Romanes eunt domus!!"
 
2007-06-28 01:15:36 PM  
Titus Pullo? Is that Latin for tit pull?
 
2007-06-28 01:15:36 PM  
I knew things were rough but.. sheesh.....
kropserkel.com
 
2007-06-28 01:15:51 PM  
He was offered 8 bucks to stand still for a photo and the guy thinks he's getting stiffed?

/I'd offer $8 for a picture of me kicking him in the jimmy.
//Seems fairish.
 
2007-06-28 01:16:23 PM  
Cell phone image captured from another tourist of the altercation:

www.kaspinet.com
 
2007-06-28 01:16:41 PM  
mtylerjr

They've bled us white, the bastards.

The one true part of this rant - the Romans taxed the populace into oblivion, then seized their land when they couldn't pay.

The aqueduct.

The Jews had secured Jerusalem's water supply long before the Romans came along, including a very long water tunnel.

And the sanitation.

Jerusalem's sanitation was no better after the Romans took over, and before it had been pretty good by the standards of the day

And the roads.

Israel had roads that were perfectly adequate to its needs before the Romans. The Roman roads were for their armies, not for the comfort or convenience of civilians.

Irrigation.
Medicine.
Huh? Heh? Huh...
Education.
Ohh...
Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.
And the wine.
Oh, yes. Yeah...


Again, all things Israel had before. In fact, the health of the populace probably went down, due to the malnurishment concomittant with Roman tax induced proverty.

Public baths.

Reserved for the elite, and people bathed before the Romans came along. They just didn't do it in the licentuous setting of public baths.

And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now, Reg.

Banditry increased during the Roman period, mostly due to dispossessed peasantry taking to crime

Brought peace.

At the cost of loss of independence, mockery of the people's religion, and impoverishment of the populace.
 
2007-06-28 01:16:42 PM  
Anyone know where I can get a torrent for season 1 of Rome? The Pirate Bay has a couple, but neither seem to work.
 
2007-06-28 01:17:23 PM  
"When I offered €6 [£4] the centurion, a big guy, started screaming and removing his armour," said Mr Aznar, 50, who won his trip to Italy with his wife in a charity auction.
"When I offered extra dollars, he said 'In Italy we blow our nose with dollars' and called me a son of a biatch, a mafioso and a cuckold."

Maybe he should try decaf espresso...

/All the Monty Python comments already made...
//"AFTHOTWTTForum" refs anyone?
///"Swing easily, no, no, you're tensing up again..."
 
2007-06-28 01:19:28 PM  
grotto_man

Is your last name 'Downer'?
 
2007-06-28 01:19:53 PM  
wh0mprat
Classic Centurion :)

Then again, it was probably embarassing to be beaten up by a 100 year old man.
 
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