At last - the long national nightmare is over.
And beginning anew.
Wotta country.
The stuff we deem important makes the baby Jesus cry.
The baby Allah cries as well.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! !!!

Now Larry King can get his free BJ. No sex tape, please!

I'm sick of hearing about that dirty whore.

Scienceman123: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! !!!

This.

even if paris disappears from the limelight, then all we'll hear about is "Where's Paris now?" .... *sigh*

That the best headline you guys can come up with? C'Mon!
CBC News had a better one: Paris liberated.

Just in time to host the Price is Right...

Virulent STD unleashed in Los Angeles

Same news, but different article and subby headline.

What do you think this is, Total Fark???

celebutante?? WTF is a "celebutante"??

Sorry about the headline it is the only thing I could think of this early in the morning.

What, no shiv?

I'm not a religious man, but I was prayin'.

Paris has been Liberated!

Come on guys. If god has given her a new chance then surely Fark can

Why is this in Forbes??

France surrenders?

/got nothing.

Just when myself and many others I am sure, had finally forgotten about her. Back on the front page and top of news for the rest of the week.

Somebody warn the Center for Disease Control. There's about to be a herpes outbreak in LA.

The skank is strong in this one.

/jailarity abates?

The news media has been reporting that she could make millions off the story. Isn't there some kind of law that says that an ex-con can't make proceeds off the sale of the story of their crime/prison time--or something like that?

Repeat from two weeks ago?

Seriously though, how many of you think that Paris will abide by her new probation requirements?

Kill it. Kill it now.

Send it to west Africa, at least...

So none of you guys saw the other Paris thread? Must have been too subtle.

I farking hate fox news.

She may be out of jail, but the syphillus she left behind will constantly remind the inmates and guards that you can take the penis out of Hilton, but you can't take the Hilton out of the penis.

/got nothing because this shiat has been going on for too long.

Seriously though, how many of you think that Paris will abide by her new probation requirements?


I'll give her the same chance I gave Tank Johnson.


huh..eh..eh..I said Johnson

I have complete confidence that Ms. Hilton is going to meet her stiff probation requirements and that this shameful, on the Judge's part, episode will at least make her hire a driver while out partying. As she told Barbara Walters the cute act was wearing thin and I also heard read where she is now onto to the media that was out to hurt her and make people laugh at her. She will continue to make a lot of money be successful.

As this guy said:

Is this seriously what we've come to care about? For God's sake! People are being killed in Iraq. We have an election next year. Hell, the iPhone is being released this week! All of these things are vastly more important than some rich, ugly, biatchy, stupid, annoying, waste of human fecal matter being released from jail.

/bets 'Burtha' didn't want her after seeing the vid

Wait a sec... I thought she had to do the whole 45 day stint because she upset the judge by going home early. Did I miss something?

Hollywood Cole: I farking hate fox news.

I do believe that picture is the first and last time we'll see Paris without make-up on. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

Can someone please tell me A) Why she's famous, and B) Why anyone cares?

HOWEVER.....

I am kinda digging the pic they have of her on CNN.com.

Maybe its because I can't see the lazy eye and she isn't wearing the superwhore eyeliner.

Mad Scientist: "The skank is strong in this one."

Ah, Fark, how I love thee.

/new keyboard please

With any luck, Paris will end up the same as Darva Conger...a forgotten has-been.

Odd. It was odd enough that Paris Hilton is CNN.com's top story, but odder still is that without all the damn makeup, she actually is a pretty girl.

But, she'll probably go home and break out the base and trowel. Too bad.

Ah hell, the other greenlit headline was much better. "Virulent STD unleashed upon Los Angeles."

Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.

She may have fallen from favor with the average farktard, but damned if she still isn't hot. A worthless celeb like all the rest to be sure, but still hot to look at.

During her stay at the Lynwood facility, Hilton was mostly confined to a solitary cell in the special needs unit away from the other 2,200 inmates.

After spending only three days there, she was released to home confinement by Sheriff Lee Baca for an unspecified medical condition that he later said was psychological.

Wow. Imagine if the entire justice system were run this way.
"Officer, I'm not feeling good. Can I go back to the house where I boiled my wife alive in a vat of oil?"
"Well...fine. But be back as soon as you're feeling better!"

Meanwhile, Iran is invading Iraq and engaging in acts of war against the United States and the British, yet no headline.

Kygz's photo FTW!

/Well played