Mole.

Can you really tunnel through the second story? Aren't tunnels by nature underground?

Moley, moley, moley,................ MOLE!

fourth post

"His defence told the court that James suffered problems in relation to agoraphobia - the fear of open spaces -
Well sorry to tell him his fear of open spaces will go up tenfold when his his cell mate Bubba tries to force open a space in his arsehole by raping him.

seventh post!

Harmonica, is that you?

So why do ya think they call it DOPE?!?!?!?!?

Agoraphobic Burglar sounds like the name of a song by one of the nonsense bands like Ween or Primus. It would also make a pretty good nonsense band name come to think of it...

Well, if he couldn't leave the house, how would he fence his booty?!? Unless he stole stuff he wanted to keep... which makes him even dumber then I first though since the police should have checked the neighbors for suspicious activity...

AtomicFever: My thoughts exactly. And was there door to door crack service too?

He could sell his crack by tunneling through dark orifices through people's houses, but now he'll have to sell his crack in prison.

"David James was high on drugs when he removed bricks, sneaked into the second floor flat then, with his booty, climbed back into his own home after replacing the bricks."

Sneaked in with his booty...that's great

It's amazing how many different defences lawyers can come up with for the stupid.

what is an agor?

I'm surprised nobody has posted the mole guy from the simpsons.

How there are people on this earth still stupid enough to actually smoke crack... astounds me. No other drug do people actually say, "you will farking shrivel up and die when you use this".

Geniuses.

Agora

Really, I think this is admirable. Accepting your limitations and working through them regardless. Give the man a pat on the back.

Boooooooo-urns!

twentysecond post

This just in: People are still dumb and crazy.

We can save money by, instead of putting him in a prison cell, leaving him in an unlocked cabin in a field.

if you put an agorophobic person in a small glass room in the middle of a huge, open field, is he scared?

Another brilliant criminal idea wasted by a criminal too dumb to execute it properly.

We seriously need to get a better grade of crook. I mean, come on, this is just embarrassing.

High on drugs, huh.

SmokeBreak How about we just put him in an open field with a mime to make him think he's in a glass box?

Me? I've got Demophobia

Fear of crowds...

well, not really... But I get really pissed off if I'm in a crowded place, like malls, where people are being stupid and walk slow and I can't get past them.

I bet he got some looks, trying to fence that muddy TV...

There's also Ochlophobia, fear of crowds or mobs.

Yeah, I get panic attacks just watching The Sopranos.

"... climbed back into his own home after replacing the bricks."
How would he be able to crawl back into his home if he had already replaced the bricks?

Speaking of the Simpsons, here's a reference to agoraphobia:

Dave: So I was working in an insurance company, right? Youngest VP in the history of the firm, okay? The job was my life. Then one Monday morning, I got up. I got up, I couldn't leave the house. I just couldn't.
Homer: Was the door locked?
Dave: No, I just couldn't face what was out there.
Homer: Was it raining?
Nurse: No, Homer, Dave suffers from agoraphobia, a fear of open areas and crowds. Please, Dave, go on.
Dave: Thank you. Anyway, that day I just knew I just couldn't make that long drive to work.
Homer: Were you out of gas?
Nurse: [glares at Homer]
Homer: Pffft. Baby...

Due to a lack of pharmacophobia the guy with agoraphobia is being sent to prison, where a healthy sense of homofobia, arrhenphobia and paraphobia (perhaps even genophobia) will be forced upun him.

Figure it out.

OK, I gotta weigh in, as FaRK's resident agoraphobic.

SmokeBreak: The field doesn't scare me, being sealed in the box does. If I can escape at any time, I will be OK.

Riddil: Perhaps you would like to live with agoraphobia and have your boundaries drawn tight around you, when every time you set foot out of the house is like getting on the world's fastest rollercoaster ride and the further you get from home, the most faint and anxious you feel.

I only take a prescription tranquiliser to help me cope. Some people are as desperate as this guy to get some relief from the constant fear.

I'm taking this too seriously? Hell yes!

We now return you to your normal humorous commenting.