Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(   Whale experts say Keiko is too attached to people and should be destroyed   ( divider line
    More: Asinine  
•       •       •

7957 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Sep 2002 at 11:18 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

128 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-09-03 11:21:19 AM  
Every time you masterbate...
2002-09-03 11:21:43 AM  
Damn you jonathan taylor thomas!
2002-09-03 11:22:07 AM  
Sure, I got dibs on the first keiko sandwiches.
2002-09-03 11:22:19 AM  

OK, nice sentiment and all, but this is a much more likely reason to destroy the people-hugging whale:

Niels Oeien of the Institute for Marine Research in Bergen, who specializes in sea mammals, says Keiko also may represent a threat to Norway's major salmon breeding industry.
He's destroying an industry just by being there.
2002-09-03 11:22:27 AM  
mastUrbate, you assfeind.
2002-09-03 11:22:31 AM  
...And the elephant who couldn't stop laughing, was put to death...
2002-09-03 11:24:30 AM  
they just want to eat him
2002-09-03 11:25:44 AM  
I said the same thing about Rosie O Donnel yet nobody listens.
2002-09-03 11:25:57 AM  
man, you can't even take a crap or release a 400 ton whale into the ocean without pissing someone off these days...
2002-09-03 11:25:57 AM  
Feed Bjork to Keiko.
2002-09-03 11:26:36 AM  
Maybe if they would just leave the damn whale alone and quit stalking him to make sure he's doing ok.....just a thought.
2002-09-03 11:27:31 AM  
Kill those Schnazers and Golden Retrievers, too. They seem pretty attached to humans.
2002-09-03 11:27:32 AM  
"Oh yeah she'll be eating blubber alright, just as soon as I free willy"
2002-09-03 11:28:37 AM  
But he's bugging people, FIBmeister. It's not that they're following him around all of the time.
2002-09-03 11:29:22 AM  
Didn't anyone learn anything from Orca.

This will end badly I tell you! Badly!
2002-09-03 11:29:28 AM  
assfIend you dubmass

hee hee
2002-09-03 11:30:58 AM  
What's Asinine is that this whale go farked up just so we could watch some lame feel-good movie.

The world sucks.

<Goes Evil Willow>
2002-09-03 11:31:48 AM  
Can this possibly get any more ridiculous? Put the damn thing back in Seaworld where he belongs. He can have people around him, which seems to be what he wants anyway, and he wont have to destroy a fishing industry causing himself to be killed. Why do the euphemisms pop up when something cute and cool is about to be killed? "destroyed"?

it's fIEnd by the way Groggy
2002-09-03 11:31:53 AM  
I feel the same way about Oprah. Too attached to people. A major threat to... to... well some industry, I'm sure. Spends too much time pandering to the people who come to see her.

Kill the biatch.
2002-09-03 11:32:30 AM  
Mungo-not up on your Keiko history?
2002-09-03 11:32:32 AM  
poor guy's just lonely...we should buy him a big ass inflatable whale....or Rosie. ya know, whichever is easier to ship.
2002-09-03 11:33:33 AM  
I keep seeing the dolphinsex guys putting together a field trip.
2002-09-03 11:34:06 AM  
Agreed about how farked up it is that we ruined this creature's life just for our entertainment. Sad.

I hate people.
2002-09-03 11:37:19 AM  
Hey what ever happened to the shark that played in Jaws?
2002-09-03 11:38:02 AM  
...and where is Queequeg when you need him?...

(apologies to Kylie)
2002-09-03 11:38:03 AM  
If he's gotta go, he's gotta go.

Just as long as he goes sauteed in garlic butter and shallots.
2002-09-03 11:38:06 AM  
Eh, I don't know how "ruined" his life was. He had it made before - nice big tanks, fish fed to him all day long.. at least, after the movies were made, he was set. sure, it's not a "natural" life, but I'd like to see how many of you here chuck your cats outside to hunt down their own food, or allow Fido to travel in packs and hunt deer...
2002-09-03 11:38:20 AM  
Jesus, put the critter back into a Sea World. He LIKES to be around people. Nobody ruined this animals life, any more than you ruin a cat's life by keeping it in your house and feeding it.

All the nature animal freaks need to cool it. Whales and dolphins LIKE to be around people. I used to swim with the dolphins in Hawaii and they come right up to your boat all the time.
2002-09-03 11:39:06 AM  
Free Willy indeed.
2002-09-03 11:39:24 AM  
duMBass you assramber!!
2002-09-03 11:45:35 AM  
Murder is always the best solution.

2002-09-03 11:47:01 AM  
What do you mean nobody ruined it's life?
"Experts" are wanting to destroy him. His life looks ruined to me.
2002-09-03 11:47:25 AM  
I don't understand what's so great about being re-introduced to the "wild," anyway. Once an animal has been tamed, it's a tame animal. Yeah, it was in a crappy situation in Mexico, so they should have just found him a place that would take care of him properly. Poor damn creature. People suck.
2002-09-03 11:50:49 AM  
assramMer, you freek!
2002-09-03 11:51:59 AM  
Lunatic Tassle :
Murder is always the best solution.

After sitting through 90 minutes of continous squeeks, grunts and blowhole plumes....yes murder is a viable option.

Of course the above criteria means Martin Lawrence had better watch his ass
2002-09-03 11:53:19 AM  
Why do people always think that animals are worse off when they've been domesticated? Most humans are much happier now they have TV and houses and shiat compared with if they had to spend all day hunting down elk and all night shivering in a wet cave.
2002-09-03 11:53:52 AM  
"NEWS FLASH: Assclown Scientists decide Lassy should be destroyed because she cant save timmy anymore because she cant shop for her own kibble!"

...Note to idiots in the science community: The public DOESNT like using the term "DESTROY" when in relation to cute cuddly aminals (spelled wrong intentionaly) that we've seen in chintzy movies. Work on your PR before broadcasting statements.

2002-09-03 11:54:21 AM  
Kylie, I was talking about when he was in sea world - I thought that's what the comment Agreed about how farked up it is that we ruined this creature's life just for our entertainment meant. He was a hell of a lot better off in sea world than he is now, that is definitely agreed. Just because something is in an "unnatural" setting does not mean it's necessarily a "bad" setting. Hell, I find myself in unnatural settings all the time..
2002-09-03 11:54:43 AM  
Why even bother recapturing him? This is a great opportunity!

Simply relocate him to a different area with no salmon fisheries. Then make it known that people are free to come and see "Willy" and even swim with him if they like. Make sure that the tourists are supervised properly and no one is feeding him MiccieD's on the side and it's win-win for everyone.

Keiko gets to see people and gets fed properly. People make money. Families get a thrill by seeing-petting-swimming with a whale.

But oh no. The animal rights freaks would be up in arms about the "exploitation" of this poor, poor whale.

Boo farkin' hoo.
2002-09-03 11:55:39 AM  
It's totally reasonable; kill anything that might not be self-reliant in the future.
I'm getting the list together now.
2002-09-03 11:55:39 AM  
Can't..... re...sist....

freAk, you tawt!
2002-09-03 11:56:18 AM  
PETA (People Eat Tasty Animals)
I wonder what a killer whale would taste like. No matter, I would like to catch the whale just to have the cool jawbone full of teeth.
2002-09-03 11:56:27 AM  
Tarvuz: No, not really - doesn't usually stop me though ;-)

I assume he was an orphan or something. My assumption was that regardless of his personaly history, if Hollywood hadn't been involved then he probably would be indanger of being shot in a Norwegian fjord.

(That... is an ex whale!)
2002-09-03 11:56:50 AM  

Well maybe Keiko can be put out of his misery by Mr Blonde, er I mean, Glen Greenwood.

[image from too old to be available]

2002-09-03 11:57:49 AM  
mmmmmmmmmmmm.... Whale Burger......... drool....

\Homer Simpson
2002-09-03 12:02:57 PM  
wow whoopeeee!!!!! a Zepplin!
2002-09-03 12:03:00 PM  
Band-Aids, too, are too attached to people. And Harmonia.
2002-09-03 12:03:15 PM  
No shiat. Put the damned thing in a big tank at sea world and let it live out its days fat and happy while doing amusing tricks for the masses. Feed it a few live baby seals if you want to make it feel "wild". Ever see the killer whales play catch with injured baby seals in those nature shows on the discovery channel? It looks as if they really enjoy it. On a related note, I have noticed that Animal Channel seems to censor their nature programs more than the Discovery Channel does. Guess they don't want to traumatize viewers with real nature and ruin their anthropomorphic, Disney brainwashed view of the world.
2002-09-03 12:09:57 PM  
All I can picture is Moe Syzlak carrying the whale trying to evade Rex Banner...
2002-09-03 12:14:06 PM  
Yes, some whales should be destroyed...
[image from too old to be available]
Displayed 50 of 128 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.