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(The Local)   Swede gets sickness benefit for heavy metal addiction. "I have been trying for ten years to get this classified as a handicap."   ( divider line
    More: Silly  
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4941 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2007 at 12:31 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

69 Comments     (+0 »)
2007-06-19 11:23:22 PM  
We TOLD you that metal health would drive you mad!
2007-06-20 12:32:38 AM  
Berserk, even
2007-06-20 12:35:54 AM  
LAME! They wouldn't pay for my carpal tunnel from my pr0n addiction.

2007-06-20 12:36:07 AM  
Sounds like he needs to call Doctor Feelgood.
2007-06-20 12:40:41 AM  
At least he doesn't have the rocking pneumonia or the hoochie-coochie flu. My grandfather died from the rocking pneumonia. Terrible disease that.

2007-06-20 12:40:49 AM  
I'm moving to Sweden. :(
2007-06-20 12:41:10 AM  
heavy metals can be highly toxic, even in low doses

/que ass-ripping solo
2007-06-20 12:41:41 AM  
Nothing a little Spinal Tap won't cure. Wait....
2007-06-20 12:42:22 AM  
I bet you have, Sven, I bet you have.
2007-06-20 12:42:51 AM  
I think I need this at work. Then when some Bible banger puts up a cross symbol and complains about my music, I'll have something else besides, "the devil made me do it!"

/all for scaring prigs at work
//that's just asshattery
///it wasn't the devil really, just crazy guitar riffs that made me do it
2007-06-20 12:43:10 AM  
Awesome socialized disability. Let's all vote ourselves money!
2007-06-20 12:43:23 AM  
We need 5mg of Punkodin, stat!.
2007-06-20 12:45:11 AM  
It is "Silly"...but I'd have agreed with a "Spiffy" tag too.
2007-06-20 12:47:24 AM  
lucky bastard
2007-06-20 12:47:27 AM  
img263.imageshack.usView Full Size

/Object-Oriented LaTeX is OOLaTeX
//Written \locknar\locknar\LaTeX
///French variant is OOLaLa

/Enjoy the veal ... Tip your waitress
2007-06-20 12:47:39 AM  
Cue someone complaining about the downfall of America as they ignore the headline and article.
2007-06-20 12:47:58 AM  
I've got the rockin' pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu. Sick time!
2007-06-20 12:49:59 AM  
why cant there be people who complain about "American Idol" disability? This seems far more problematic (and annoying) in my opinion.
2007-06-20 12:50:04 AM  
I can't not listen to punk. I have it playing at least 10 hours a day. Good thing I work at home, I'd go insane without it.
2007-06-20 12:50:34 AM  
hurrah for the welfare state!
2007-06-20 12:51:07 AM  
I'm inclined to agree that people who listen to heavy metal are mentally ill.
2007-06-20 12:51:40 AM  
i39.photobucket.comView Full Size
2007-06-20 12:52:43 AM  
The heavy metal this guy really needs is a hammer to the skull.
2007-06-20 12:52:44 AM  
Feh. They have had this for ABBA fans there for years. Of course it was very easy getting a consensus that liking ABBA was a mental disease.

Seriously, this loser needs to be begging on the street. Yeah, dude, I keep skipping work because I go to 300 concerts a year. Gimme money! Fark him in the ass.
2007-06-20 12:52:49 AM  
Since then little else has mattered for the 42-year-old, who has long black hair, a collection of tattoos and wears skull and crossbones jewelry.

Wow. If he looks good in eyeliner I'd probably date this guy. If I haven't already... hmmm...

/starts packing her bags for trip to Sweden
//Talar du Engelska, dude?
~or somethin' like that~
2007-06-20 12:57:17 AM  
heres your relapse biatch

[image from too old to be available]
2007-06-20 12:58:52 AM  
I thought this would be about a retard licking lead. It turns out, it's just about a retard.

/go figure
2007-06-20 01:02:43 AM  
Is there any equivalent disease among the other genres? I, for one, would like an excuse to dress in impeccable tuxedos and listen to Rachmaninoff all day long.
2007-06-20 01:03:54 AM  
I also assumed this article was about someone addicted to eating some form of heavy metal. I clicked on the link thinking "Will it be gold? Lead? Cobalt? Ooh the possibilities."

The truth? Breaks my mind. This is a much better argument against the "machinations" of the American Left than any amount of "Commies killed millions!" nonsense.
2007-06-20 01:08:40 AM  
I wish my laziness, dislike of work, and basically sucking at everything could be classified as disabilities.
2007-06-20 01:09:29 AM  
Heavy metals are known to cause brain damage. (See, mercury, lead, bismuth, etc.)
2007-06-20 01:15:43 AM  

11 links is pretty good for a liter. 32768 times better than me anyhow.
2007-06-20 01:23:26 AM  
I wish my laziness, dislike of work, and basically sucking at everything could be classified as disabilities.

They could be, if you worked hard enough at it.
2007-06-20 01:26:53 AM  
Hey, lay off this guy. I went through a phase where all I wanted was to rock 'n' roll all night, and party ev-e-ry day. People would say to me, "Don't you want to do something with your life?" And I'd say, "I don't want to work. I want to bang on the drums all day."

What got me off the rock was Jesus, the hardest rocker of them all. Also, I take a lot of Paxil.
2007-06-20 01:27:09 AM  
Someone give the kid an E-Ticket to Mordhouse. Maybe he won't come back. Everybody wins!
2007-06-20 01:43:27 AM  
eeedlef: Cue someone complaining about the downfall of America as they ignore the headline and article.

skepticultist: This is a much better argument against the "machinations" of the American Left than any amount of "Commies killed millions!" nonsense.

Wow eeedlef, you're goooooood!
2007-06-20 01:55:53 AM  
Heavy metals are known to cause brain damage. (See, mercury, lead, bismuth, etc.)

Mercury never caused brain damage.
But he could have given you the AIDS... well, when he was alive that is.
2007-06-20 01:56:32 AM  
this is both farking awesome and sad at the same time.

while i gotta give the guy props for being so farking's also sad that he's allowed himself to get into a situation where he can't even keep a job.
2007-06-20 02:00:36 AM  
i97.photobucket.comView Full Size

Hey, I can believe it. Look at what too much heavy metal did to this guy...

/freakin love that show
2007-06-20 02:10:27 AM  
Someday, I will make a pilgrimage to Sweden.

2007-06-20 02:11:02 AM  
i34.photobucket.comView Full Size

2007-06-20 02:17:56 AM  

I was hooked when I first saw Metalocalypse. Tis good.
2007-06-20 02:26:05 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Approves. Just 'cause they're from Sweden.
2007-06-20 02:27:01 AM  
The DSM IV has not acknowledged never nude as an affliction. Even though two members of German parliament have this affliction. The disease is known there as Nein Vollständig Nude.
2007-06-20 02:35:30 AM  
The wonders of socialism run amok.
2007-06-20 02:35:50 AM  
Angry Boss: "What is that fark'N RACKET!"
Me: "Oh that's Nile and here's my doctor's note that lets me play them at work full blast.

All joking aside, years of windmill headbanging has left me with a pretty farked-up neck.
All I can do shows these days is just nod and grimace musically but at least I can still out scream almost anybody.
There's a lesson in there somewhere kiddles.
2007-06-20 02:53:17 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

did someone ask for swedish metal babes?
2007-06-20 03:13:26 AM  
makes more sense to me then being considered handicapped because you're a fat bastard.........
2007-06-20 03:17:07 AM  
My neighbour is a drummer in a speed/death metal band, one look at the munter will reassure you it is a mental illness.

/Band practice every Sunday
2007-06-20 03:38:17 AM  
Somebody say Metal?

2007-06-20 03:38:53 AM  
fark destroyed my it is:
2007-06-20 04:56:06 AM  
Do they pay drug addicts to support their addiction, too? He's addicted to crack, the government should step in and make sure he can smoke a rock every half hour while at work. It's a disease. Idiots.

/what about Fark?
//I'm moving to Sweden to play WoW on welfare
2007-06-20 05:08:22 AM  
That's the dumbest shiat I've ever heard.

If it was a medical problem or some hindrance to him actually performing normal day-to-day tasks, yeah, you could call that a handicap.

This isn't heavy-metal addiction, it's growing-up-aphobia.
2007-06-20 06:16:39 AM  
z.about.comView Full Size

Not impressed.

/surprised it took so long for the Metalocalypse comments to show up
2007-06-20 08:07:18 AM  
This lawsuit is made of METAL and WIN!

/firin' up some Malmsteen and Buckethead to start the day.
2007-06-20 08:34:02 AM  
Finally ,someone recognizes the plight of Tuba players.....
2007-06-20 08:48:48 AM  
Defleshed rocks!!

And no, I'm not just saying that cause it's my cousin's band.

I'm saying it cause they're Swedish!
2007-06-20 08:54:38 AM  
You all have to understand, it was his one way ticket to midnight. The music made him higher than high, feelin' just right, until it felt like desperation on a red line.
2007-06-20 09:50:35 AM  
I love my country
2007-06-20 10:48:33 AM  
God this is the greatest thing of all time. I need to move to Sweden. Gorgeous metal guys and disability for music addiction.

How sweet it is.

/cranks up the metal at American job to -1. :(
2007-06-20 11:29:25 AM  
Yeah, i had to cut my hair and stop dressing metal to get a real job and it broke my heart. i'm a soulless drone now...but I can afford good tickets to Slayer/Marilyn Manson in August. I'd kep it real, but I don't want to be a failed dishwasher for the next 30 or 40 years.
2007-06-20 11:44:54 AM  
omega.cs.iit.eduView Full Size

Just because it's a Swede.

Metal addiction isn't a handicap, it kicks ass.

/about 17 years myself
2007-06-20 02:05:40 PM  
This sounds like something The Onion would write. "Silly?" This deserves Asinine.
2007-06-20 04:47:31 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Mein boss ist krieg!!
2007-06-20 07:06:32 PM  
Primitive Screwhead:

Thanks for the Nile link. That shiat's FARKIN' HEAVY!

I was listening to Cannibal Corpse's "Gallery Of Suicide" at work today.

"Pile the bodies!
Set them aflame!
The human race -
2007-06-20 07:07:27 PM  

That Dethklok pic just happens to be my desktop image.
2007-06-21 12:26:35 AM  
Let's hope this doesn't spread to Norway. Hundreds of black metal musicians on the dole... They won't have any reason to be eeevil anymore!
2007-06-21 02:42:05 AM  
/Object-Oriented LaTeX is OOLaTeX
//Written \locknar\locknar\LaTeX
///French variant is OOLaLa


/...actually intended to be Cthulhu spelt backwards.
2007-06-21 03:27:19 AM  

That will be a new keyboard and a fresh cup of coffee please...
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