Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fark)   What's the most important thing your dad taught you?   ( divider line
    More: Sappy  
•       •       •

4294 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jun 2007 at 6:03 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

516 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | » | Newest | Show all

2007-06-17 01:20:24 AM  
The importance of a good athletic supporter and cup.
2007-06-17 01:22:48 AM  
How to hang sheetrock.
2007-06-17 01:23:30 AM  
Just don't get her pregnant.
2007-06-17 01:23:49 AM  
Always wash your hands first thing in the morning because you don't know what you might have been touching while you were asleep.
2007-06-17 01:23:56 AM  
Not to EVER have kids.
2007-06-17 01:27:03 AM  
Not to be like him.
2007-06-17 01:32:43 AM  
don't stand on the top rung of a ladder while cutting a tree branch with a telescoping saw.
2007-06-17 01:35:02 AM  
Ditto. Not to be like him.
2007-06-17 01:36:14 AM  
1) Rather than "don't make stupid decisions", he said "dont make life-changing stupid decisions"

2) Be nice to the "unpopular" kids in school -- the girls usually end up being the best looking ones later on in life, and the nerdy guys end up being the ones with all the power and money

3) Fix your divots on the green
2007-06-17 01:37:18 AM  
My Dad taught me that men don't listen to a word that a woman is saying.
2007-06-17 01:38:39 AM  
Check the oil.
2007-06-17 01:40:26 AM  
JohnnyC: Not to be like him.

Kelbel: Ditto. Not to be like him.


/that I shouldn't waste my time talking to insecure co-dependent assholes like him
2007-06-17 01:46:41 AM  
My dad taught me that promises don't mean shiat.
2007-06-17 01:47:32 AM  
Don't eat yellow snow and to ask permission before hunting on someone else's land.
2007-06-17 01:48:05 AM  
That all women are crazy. Some are less crazy than others, but they are all crazy in some way or another.
2007-06-17 01:48:08 AM  
The importance of beer & bacon.
2007-06-17 01:48:16 AM  
Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.

Also, NPR is hilarious if you listen long enough.
2007-06-17 01:49:35 AM  
JohnnyC: Not to be like him.

2007-06-17 01:51:48 AM  
To not be petty, and realize that no matter what he's done he's still my father.

/get over it
2007-06-17 01:57:05 AM  
If you're not 100% sure that's an edible mushroom, don't eat it.
2007-06-17 01:57:06 AM  
The only person you can always count on is YOU.
2007-06-17 01:59:32 AM  
My dad had a hard time with his parents divorcing when he was younger. He went out of his way to make sure that he was a good father to my brother and me. His father had a series of girlfriends, remarried, etc. The kind of shiat that farks with kids.

My parents are still together, but I guess he taught me that if you have kids, their happiness should come before your happiness. And don't have kids until you can make that commitment.
2007-06-17 02:02:28 AM  
If you're fighting with your old lady, it's best not to stay in that relationship.
Go fishing and pick chestnuts instead.
2007-06-17 02:03:39 AM  
Good table manners.

Strict son of a biatch about that.

/Love you dad.
2007-06-17 02:04:29 AM  
I never met him. Maybe that's a lesson in itself.
2007-06-17 02:04:48 AM  
It doesn't matter who you are or what you do so long as you have a good heart.

/yes, seriously
2007-06-17 02:08:52 AM  
"You don't tug on Superman's cape You don't spit into the wind You don't pull the mask off an 'ole Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Jim."

I still have no idea who Jim is.
2007-06-17 02:13:10 AM  
JohnnyC: Not to be like him.

Pretty much, yeah. Although it takes a lot of conscious effort. Same thing with my stepfather.

My maternal grandfather, on the other hand... I wish I were more like him.
2007-06-17 02:17:19 AM  
Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.
2007-06-17 02:17:42 AM  
Don't trust whitey.
2007-06-17 02:19:14 AM  
Wise_Guy: Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.

If I lived by that statement, I'd still be a virgin.
2007-06-17 02:24:27 AM  
To know how to tell a joke; to know how to mix a martini; to know how to be comfortable in my own skin.

/Love you dad
//I miss the last 16 years without you
2007-06-17 02:25:13 AM  
This is shiat, this is shinola.
2007-06-17 02:27:07 AM  
The lame: Everytime the bat hits the ball, you have a job to do.
2007-06-17 02:27:09 AM  
1. Never ever ever hit a woman. (I had this one smacked into me more than once).

2. Don't waste the gifts life has handed you.

3. Most importantly, he taught me what it really meant to be a man. We had to live without him for over a year - that'll force a 16 year old to grow up real fast.

Love you, Dad.
2007-06-17 02:27:55 AM  
parkedr So you know 'shiat' from 'shinola' right?
2007-06-17 02:31:45 AM  
Don't get married
2007-06-17 02:36:19 AM  
If you're going to be dumb, you got to be tough.
2007-06-17 02:37:06 AM  
The Lord loves a working man.
Don't trust whitey.
See a doctor and get rid of it.
2007-06-17 02:44:01 AM  
I must admit I didn't spare a thought about all the people that have lost their fathers... I hope you all use this day as a chance to think about the good times and don't mourne their loss. My dad has had a few scares with the Big C and is continuing the battle. Every day is a bonus, my brother and I are going to buy him a "Flying fifteen" this year. Its a boat.
2007-06-17 02:52:17 AM  
"If it is to be, it is up to me."
2007-06-17 02:52:18 AM  
The negatives: Not to ever have kids. Not to get married. Not to be the housemaid for a man like my mother.

The positives: How to drive fast and well. How to be confident and funny. To be my own boss and my own head of household.
2007-06-17 02:53:20 AM  
The Rule of 72 and The Power of Compound Interest

/Love you, Dad
//If only my brothers had paid attention, too
///*sigh* Looks like I'll be supporting them when we're all old
2007-06-17 02:55:39 AM  
How to do major repairs on my car, and where to get Chilton's guides for when I get other cars.

/saved me thousands of dollars, so far
2007-06-17 02:55:49 AM  
Me: "Dad, there's this girl who keeps calling me. She seems nice and all, but she's kind of chunky."

Dad: "Son, let me tell you this. One day, you will die. And when you do, you will have to stand in front of St. Peter. And if he says, 'Lane, you slept with 999 women,' you're going to be pissed the fark off, because if only you hadn't turned down that one girl because she was too fat, you'd have been batting a thousand."

Me: "Thanks, Dad!"
2007-06-17 02:57:51 AM  
i20.photobucket.comView Full Size

I posted this pic on a farktography thread. He is my dad. He taught me integrity and bravery. He is a retired police officer and a Korean war vet.
2007-06-17 03:00:18 AM  
If you dont know, shut the fark up.
Cargo pants is just a fancy way of saying man-purse
Look at yourself in the mirror and ask "If I were I chick, would I do me?"
Never piss off a man that owns a crossbow.

Erectile dysfunction is hereditary.....thanks a lot dad, I luv ya
2007-06-17 03:00:26 AM  
"Figure out what you like to do, then figure out a way to make money doing it. That way, you'll never work a day in your life."
2007-06-17 03:03:37 AM  
Try to make at least one person smile each and every day.
2007-06-17 03:09:57 AM  

David Letterman is your dad?
Displayed 50 of 516 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.