FARK.com: (286883) If you smoke and drink your kids are more likely to be doing the nasty

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		If you smoke and drink your kids are more likely to be doing the nasty (chron.com)		56
		More: Obvious

• • •

4243 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2002 at 2:15 AM | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

http://fark.com/go/286883

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

56 Comments (+0 »)

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

The_HR_Issue		2002-08-30 10:24:10 PM

What happens if you are smoking and drinking and doing the nasty when your kids walk in on you? That shold traumatize them from doing anything.

RBH		2002-08-30 10:51:12 PM

damn good point. should be in parenting 101 if you ask me!

Undertoad		2002-08-30 10:52:51 PM

IT's because people who smoke and drink are real people, and their kids are gonna be real people, and real people screw.

Maybe.

vetbridge		2002-08-30 11:24:04 PM

You know, as long as there are no animals involved then it is fine by me. I am about bestialitied-out after this past month of Fark.

evilgreg		2002-08-30 11:50:24 PM

I just wish my parents had smoked and drank more than they did. Maybe I'd get laid more often.

Foaming		2002-08-31 12:13:40 AM

Scientist says: This is not to say that parents who smoke are causing their children to become sexually active.

Reporter says: 'Bad' parental behavior may encourage teen sex.

Statistical correlation does *not* imply causality. Reporters who do not understand science should not be allowed to report on it.

/rant

SpDrMN		2002-08-31 02:18:55 AM

*
So, if I start smoking and drinking and have no children, who gets to fark more frequently?

Junk science.
*

digitalchris		2002-08-31 02:19:29 AM

If you don't smoke or drink, your nerdy children are masturbating WISHING they were doing the nasty.

Bondith		2002-08-31 02:20:48 AM

Somebody tell me what *discourages* teen sex?

Other than personality and personal hygiene, obviously.

Sweater Girl		2002-08-31 02:21:09 AM

Morals people!

MORALS!

heh.

In this day and age, if your teen isn't interested in(or)doing the nasty..there's a problem.

Sheesh. When will the finger get tired of pointing?

Bondith		2002-08-31 02:21:55 AM

Why is there a question mark there? That isn't a question. I'm tired. I'm going home tomorrow. I'm surly for some reason. I have no idea why, since usually I'm such a happy-go-lucky-in-an-amusingly-cynical way.

Pseudonym		2002-08-31 02:24:33 AM

Or is it that teenagers having sex encourages parents to smoke and drink?

peto		2002-08-31 02:27:08 AM

Have the scientists thought of this. Maybe kids have sex because they (gasp) enjoy it.

LawyersRock		2002-08-31 02:29:49 AM

And?

Flibbertigibbet		2002-08-31 02:33:49 AM

I was just smoking a cigar and drinking, but I don't have kids. WHat do I do now????///////

Woodchipper		2002-08-31 02:39:40 AM

*cough*cough*cough*

"Go out to the store and get me a pack of cigarettes, please"!

*wheeze*

"And don't fark anything while you're out."

Sweater Girl		2002-08-31 02:42:48 AM

Woodchipper

to add

'Hands off the booze!!!'

Random_McEric		2002-08-31 02:51:55 AM

Damn, that's weird! I didn't even know I HAD any kids!

bbcrackmonkey		2002-08-31 02:52:00 AM

Single white male seeking single white female whose parents smoke and drink.

bbcrackmonkey: n e hotees wanna chat w me? a/s/l? wow u r so cute, wanna cyber?

randomBob		2002-08-31 02:52:50 AM

Pseudonym, I think you nailed it. On the otherhand, I started smoking only after my favorite president demonstrated what a handy flirting prop a cigar could be.

Jilaad		2002-08-31 02:55:43 AM

This reminds me of something that happened in my statistics class. The prof draws a graph on the board charting ice cream consumption and drowning deaths. They both go up and down together, peaking in the summer and bottoming out in the winter. There is an obvious correlation between drowning deaths and ice cream consumption. But just what is the correlation? He puts the question to the class, and we try to come up with explanations. Maybe it's that "don't swim after eating" thing mom said, maybe it makes you hyper and not careful, etc.

Well the answer was there is NO cause/effect relationship. They just both peak in the summer. Nobody eats ice cream in the winter. Nobody swims in the winter.

Correlation does NOT imply causality.

bbcrackmonkey		2002-08-31 03:04:23 AM

There's also a direct cause/effect relationship between how many sessions of D&D you play and how long you are a virgin.

I think Marilyn Manson said it best:

"They say every time you smoke, it takes 5 minutes off your life. Well every time you play a game of D&D, it adds 5 months onto your virginity."

Wieland_the_Newfangled		2002-08-31 03:06:08 AM

I turned out all right.

Reactron		2002-08-31 03:08:07 AM

I always thought this was caused by teenagers having genitalia.

Woodchipper		2002-08-31 03:12:51 AM

o_0

"And keep your filthy hands off my booze!"

randomBob		2002-08-31 03:21:21 AM

There's also a positive correlation between ice cream eating and graduate edukashun. I don't eat enuf ice kream i guess.

Algernon.

farkqueue2		2002-08-31 03:22:44 AM

I asked one of my wives if she smoked after sex. She said she didn't know, she'd never looked.

dimator		2002-08-31 03:28:22 AM

Happy anniversary, mom and dad! I got you some cigarettes and a bottle of absolut!

SpaceCoyote		2002-08-31 03:48:56 AM

Aack.. has that stupid correlation/causality line replaced the "lies, damned lies.." line now? They're both just as irritating. Whatever truth there is in that statement has been wrung out of it by all those little whining biatch teenage boys who are scared that their violent videogames might be taken away.

Hau'oli Haole		2002-08-31 04:11:13 AM

I smoke but don't drink, so what's my kid up to?

Woodchipper		2002-08-31 04:12:44 AM

Lies, damned lies, and statistics...

-Benjamin Disraeli

candycorn		2002-08-31 04:34:19 AM

Good Grief! Is there ANYTHING else that they can blame on us smokers?

NinjaSmurf		2002-08-31 05:03:07 AM

Here's the way it works:

parents smoke and drink more = teens smoke and drink more

smoking and drinking make you cool

when you are cool, people want to have sex with you

you get laid
aw yeah.

-drunk

LivingLegend		2002-08-31 05:03:31 AM

Makes sense : stupid parents, stupid kids.

AndrewFish		2002-08-31 05:04:26 AM

Secondhand smoke linked to secondhand coolness.

autopr0n		2002-08-31 05:24:39 AM

Wow, remind me not to ware a seatbelt around my sons if I ever have 'em. Gotta pass on the genes you know.

That said, there is value in this research. The scientists never said that one causes the other, just that "the mechanism is probably very complex". My guess is that people who smoke after they have kids are just irrisponsible, and irrisponsible people do not make good parents.

ArnoldLayne		2002-08-31 07:43:50 AM

It's okay, I don't want to have anklebiters.

HappyDaddy		2002-08-31 09:06:46 AM

Subtle innuendos fellows, must be something inside.

McAfricaBurger		2002-08-31 09:15:54 AM

When I Have Kids I'm Not Going To Drown Them

kinghorse		2002-08-31 09:38:16 AM

Pseudonym,

Obvious but needed. And thank you.

meta		2002-08-31 10:06:49 AM

What this suggests to me is that the only people who smoke these days are white trash.

headoverhighheels		2002-08-31 10:31:17 AM

My kids are doomed!

Hytes Xian		2002-08-31 11:16:18 AM

Isn't the preacher's daughter a slut?

piper877		2002-08-31 11:53:22 AM

If she smokes, she pokes!

saucer_guy		2002-08-31 11:54:28 AM

08-31-02 10:06:49 AM Meta
What this suggests to me is that the only people who smoke these days are white trash.

Young_Fart		2002-08-31 01:45:49 PM

Seems obvious that you get into smoking because you desparately need to be accepted in your peer group. Farking would then follow.

Although there could be more behind this, since nicotine messes with neurotransmitters in the brain.

Snotty_Bokfost		2002-08-31 01:58:40 PM

Wilder and Watt found that boys were more likely to have sex if their parents failed to use seatbelts -- but not girls.

Seatbelts? WTF?

vabeard		2002-08-31 02:05:55 PM

So much for my daily dose of crap .

vetbridge		2002-08-31 04:51:36 PM

Just replace their cologne with this-

MarkRockwell		2002-08-31 04:55:51 PM

"They say every time you smoke, it takes 5 minutes off your life. Well every time you play a game of D&D, it adds 5 months onto your virginity."

--Marilyn Manson

Aww, Fark

Displayed 50 of 56 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.