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(CNN)   Nessie's been sighted again with new video   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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36506 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 May 2007 at 2:04 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

221 Comments     (+0 »)

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2007-05-31 02:19:50 PM  
Ironically, this story comes out the week the Loch Ness Monster has a new album coming out.
2007-05-31 02:21:37 PM  
its a total hoax. the only interesting thing is that the hoax is being carried out by a family of sasquatchs and aliens, whos headquaters are in atlantis located within the bermuda triangle
2007-05-31 02:21:37 PM  
IIRC, someone actually ran the numbers awhile ago...amount of fish living in the lake, the estimated size of an adult, the estimated amount of fish an individual would need to eat per day, and the minimum number of individuals needed to sustain genetic viability over time...

you guessed it, it didn't add up...

/ I guess they could be vegetarians...
2007-05-31 02:25:01 PM  
2007-05-31 02:26:12 PM  
A more interesting theory is that Loch Ness has a cave network out to the open sea. One lost Oar Fish and suddenly 'Teh Mont5terz!'
2007-05-31 02:29:02 PM  
Xyling [TotalFark]
The story is about a video. There is no video included with the article. Not cool.

We need a video presentation about that sorry article, stat.

make sure not to include any material from the article or original video.
2007-05-31 02:30:14 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

The dude in question. Last name Holmes, you can bet he can show ya "Nessie"
2007-05-31 02:31:17 PM  
IAMONE [TotalFark] 2007-05-31 02:07:17 PM
There is a better quality video here. Though, the actual footage is only shown briefly.

Thanks for the link. It would be cool if Nessie did exist. The man who took it mentioned the tourism it would bring in. That makes me skeptical.
2007-05-31 02:33:02 PM  
That guy looks like a clown out of costume.
2007-05-31 02:33:41 PM  
Nessie's back-in POG form!

/obscure Simpsons' ref
//for the halibut
2007-05-31 02:35:20 PM  

Heh, I was just there in Feb for my honeymoon. Good times...

Anyway, what? Oh, Nessie... Lakes have a lot of things that can swim in it. Every so often one is bound to break the surface or swim just under the surface.
2007-05-31 02:35:47 PM  
Subby here.

Sorry for the non-video'd link, but it was the best article I could find quickly. And I know you farkers were resourceful and would turn up the vid quick enough.
2007-05-31 02:36:21 PM  
Ooh, it must have been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of the sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the Paleolithic Era, comes out of the water.
And I yelled, I said, "What do you want from us, monster?" And the monster bent down, and said...
"I need about tree-fitty."

/goddamn loch ness monster
2007-05-31 02:38:35 PM  
Mike Fun: "This is nothing short of amazing since video was invented 20 or so years later."

So, you mean those videos I've seen of WWI and WWII were faked? HOW DEEP DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO?
2007-05-31 02:38:58 PM  
Video?​ns%2Eplayn et%2Ecom%2Fshowthread%2Ephp%3Ft%3D167399
2007-05-31 02:39:00 PM  
The video will end up having been shot with a cellphone recorder, and the quality will be shiattier than the one from the 30's.

Technology rules!
2007-05-31 02:39:27 PM  
I was intrigued with a batch of photos from some motion sensitive cameras researchers had installed. I'm sure most people even barely curious of the Loch Ness Monster have seen them: one of them clearly looks like a fin.

Well, I was intrigued until I saw the unadulterated version of the fin photo. The amount of "correction" needed to "enhance" the photo basically amounted to "let's fark with this image until it looks like something interesting...".
2007-05-31 02:39:52 PM  
That was Jack the Ripper.
2007-05-31 02:42:24 PM  
Did it show up selling girl-scout cookies?
2007-05-31 02:43:06 PM  
Is the cow ok?
2007-05-31 02:43:09 PM  
Mike Fun: "'Nessie' was first captured on video in the 1930s"

This is nothing short of amazing since video was invented 20 or so years later.

Uh, you really need to check your dates there, buddy.
2007-05-31 02:44:05 PM  
You traded my soul for a POG?
2007-05-31 02:44:28 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2007-05-31 02:44:50 PM  
We can get videos of pop skank's crotch on a daily basis but not ONE decent shot of nessie, ufos, or bigfoot since the invention of the camera? Hell a DECENT hoax would bring a smile to my face yet it's 2007 and a guy gets on the news for taking a video of a shadow on the water.

/loved nessie growing up
2007-05-31 02:45:24 PM  
I'm not going to believe it until I see a film of Nessie snorting coke in a Scottish pub ladies room.
2007-05-31 02:47:05 PM  
Shoot it! Shoot it!
2007-05-31 02:47:54 PM  
NO farkING VIDEO?????

2007-05-31 02:47:58 PM  
It's log, it's log.
It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's log, it's log.
It's better than bad. It's good!
2007-05-31 02:48:31 PM  
I sure as fark hope so. I'd be really scared if it were a non-biological creature.
[image from too old to be available] Agrees
2007-05-31 02:49:21 PM  
It's a myth! Just like global warming
2007-05-31 02:50:04 PM  
You all just don't have any don't have to SEE Nessie to know she exists. Nor do you have to have any concrete evidence. I just know in my heart she exists. And no, she wouldn't be dead by now because she is immortal. And as for the comment about the food supply in the loch being inadequate, you obviously aren't aware that as an immortal she doesn't have to eat. She can also turn invisible when she needs to and make no sound. Bottom can't prove she *doesn't* exist, you nessie atheists.
2007-05-31 02:52:44 PM  

Quick cap from the video.

WHOLLLY farkING shiat!!! I BELIEVE!!

These people need to STFU and GBTW. I think if I saw something like that and I took such a horrible video of it, I would probably just tape over it with reruns of Matlock or something.
2007-05-31 02:52:44 PM  
"So, you mean those videos I've seen of WWI and WWII were faked? HOW DEEP DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO?"

No, not fake, just film.
2007-05-31 02:52:58 PM  
When Nessie comes rampaging down my street, knocking down power-lines, shrugging off missiles attacks by the Japanese army, and breathing radioactive fire onto my local off-license, I will become a believer.
2007-05-31 02:53:50 PM  
Amateur Scientist = "I write for Wikipedia sometimes"
2007-05-31 02:55:09 PM  
It's absolutely Nessie! And by Nessie I mean a school of fish.
2007-05-31 02:55:10 PM  
Sir Court Godfrey unavailable for comment.
2007-05-31 02:55:33 PM  
Eidolon said: "Uh, you really need to check your dates there, buddy."

Ok, dates checked. Video is still invented in the 1950's.

/Do I win a prize?
2007-05-31 02:56:12 PM  
It is the crappiest video ever....ambiguous is right...when will these hacks give up and realize... 1.) the thing would have to eat and when one eats one poops, so where is the evidence of nessie dung 2.) where in christs name does this thing live....thousands of researchers have combed that lake looking for a den or something for it to reside in, like most creatures possess and found....nothing...3)Millions of people visit that place a year, and we know what tourists all carry....cameras and why is there not more footage? Because it doesn't exsist....end of story.
2007-05-31 02:56:40 PM  
And no, she wouldn't be dead by now because she is immortal.
Of course she's immortal, isn't everyone from Scotland?
2007-05-31 02:58:08 PM  
+1 for the Mad scientists club book, the sotry was making me thing of it too...... in their Nessie imitation story, they build a fake human-powered Nessie with a rowboat, chicken wire and paper mache' and end up getting shot at by some idiot locals, which I considered pretty realistic for a kid book.

As far as Scottish TV, Baird was demonstrating a working mechanical TV system in 1927. And it was recorded on a video disk! (AKA an LP vinyl record) See it decoded after all these years:

I think probably the remark about 1930's TV was really just bad writing, describing TV transfers of motion picture film shot back then. People confuse the term film and video and their use as noun or verb all the time. It fills me with a silent rage that will one day be horrifically released.
2007-05-31 02:58:25 PM  
sumatra FTA since she was first caught on camera by a surgeon on vacation in the 1930s.

Camera is not necessarily video. ;)
2007-05-31 02:59:23 PM  
When asked how he felt about having seen the elusive Nessie,
Holmes responded:

"Nessie? Oh wait...was she a great big fat person?"

[image from too old to be available]

don't you hurt his dog.
2007-05-31 02:59:30 PM  
orchalcyon isn't everyone from Scotland?

I know I am.
2007-05-31 02:59:45 PM  
That's a humiliating kick to the crotch
2007-05-31 03:00:13 PM  
What i want to know is .. why bother calling him an ameture scientist - i mean really - my cell phone takes video now i am an ameture scientist - whoo hoo ..
2007-05-31 03:00:14 PM  
Pro Zack - yes, I re-linked your pic...thanks!

2007-05-31 03:00:58 PM  
Judging by the size of the thing, I'd say we are looking at footage of my schlong.
2007-05-31 03:01:00 PM  
nopokerface - nice.
2007-05-31 03:01:26 PM  

nice to be noticed...
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