Pxtl: Go fix the raccoon problem under my deck.

I read that as "desk" and wondered what the heck kind of innuendo that was supposed to be.

glassa

Sounds like you've the same problem that the Fark misogynist contingent has - your partner sucks, so all men/women must suck.

Stop trying to change each other and just either suck it up or give it up. If your guy is a wimp, stop dating wimps.

thenateman
/Also recommend making the world's worst coffee

Indeed. I work in an office of about 40, about half of whom are fairly heavy coffee drinkers. I picked up a $10 Target coffee pot and brought it in to save the jing I was spending everyday on Starbucks.

They mooched at first....until I upped the bean count to nearly intolerable levels. Now, they'd rather drive to said Starbucks and spend $4.00/cup than drink my homeswill.

Now that the leeches have learned their lesson and I have a reputation for making god-awful inky shiat, I'm free to bring the strength back down to something that doesn't rot my pancreas.

Approves

I tried once. But I was too stupid to pull it off. Shouldn't that count for something?

Heh, when I'm not doing (or planing) most of the shopping, this house has nothing but hamburger helper, mac-n-cheese, processed meats (hot dogs, ham, cold cuts etc) ice cream, soda, chips and frigteningly enough, "cheese food product" (I cant get them to understand the farking difference between that garbage and the real thing)

Bill Cosby was on to this, like 30 years ago. Had a great monologue about it.

I pick and choose what I'm 'good' and 'bad' at.

I was bad at driving at my old job when we used to go out for lunch because I didn't want to give up my parking spot under the shade. So I drove like a maniac and nobody ever asked to drive with me again to lunch. I got to go with whomever was driving and save money on gas. =)

I'm good at computers and I always offered my help to people at work. When you're the computer guru at work you get a shield against some of the office politics since you're helpful. It doesn't ALWAYS happen but usually you get something like: "She's cool... She fixed my computer." There's also a understanding that they better be nice to you because they'll need you when something eventually happens to their computer / printer / phone / e-mail / etc.

Mmmmm actually those are the only two examples I can think of where I choose my level of competence.

for about 4 good minutes I turned into a seething mini-Hulk when I was looking for cans of chili but instead found an aisle of canned beans and canned soups instead.

turns out the canned chili was two aisles over. wtf!!!!!

"If you screw something up bad enough the first time, they won't ask you to do it again."

Dude!! You're not suppossed to tell the secret!!!

Oh, drat. Now they know our secret. Quick, get the children to distract them! I'll get the neuralyzer.

glassa "As a result, the bathtub hasn't been cleaned in almost 2 months."

Unless your husband is the only one who bathes, or you don't mind mold tendrils reaching for you while you shower, I wouldn't call that result a victory.

I always somehow come home with several varieites of pickes, various hot sauces, bacon, waffles, salsa and a fully roasted chicken. And wine. And none of it on sale. Dont get sent too much.

My wife has two choices when it comes to getting things done around the house.
1) I can do it

OR

2) it can be done her way.

Obviously, the choices are mutually exclusive. If she wants it done her way, she's gotta do it herself.

Gosurfing:

Wow man. I haven't heard of actual chores for a kid in ages. Back in HS I remember learning that two twin boys I knew actually had to get home to do their laundry. I was astonished and they said to me "Mom says we had to learn someday and that's fair." I said, "That's really fair, now you won't bug the hell out of some future girlfriend. Thank your mom, a lot, for me."

I think I was surprised cause one of them had recently learned how to braid and acted like it was the best accomplishment all year. It was cute though.

GoSurfing, you should have gotten to play more....but good for you knowing how to do something and take the pressure off someone else.

It takes me 2 days to get him to take out the trash and one week to get him to clean the toilet :( The trash is the boyfriend's ONLY chore.

glassa: Men are nothing but dependent wimps these days. I've gotten to the point that if he wants it done, he'll do it himself. As a result, the bathtub hasn't been cleaned in almost 2 months.

Why would you clean a bathtub? Filled with soap and water = clean.

/man

Gentlemen, our secret is out. The snitch must pay.

This is a man thing? When was the last time your wife/girlfriend jumped her own car/changed her own tire/killed the damn spider in the bathroom?

pfft. I don't have to feign.

You have to be careful...

My g/f's new side by side fridge was overheating, she
was going to call the appliance repairman. I told her
it never hurts to take a look and found a piece of styrofoam
blocking the fan and removed it....fan started, problem solved...

Now, I'm totally screwed....

"They were great at picking out the stuff that they bought before. It's the new stuff, or something new and different that a manufacturer is trying to promote, that they have trouble with," said Putnam, who walked along with men as they shopped as part of her study.


STOP MOVING STUFF ABOUT! The women will still wander round the shop looking at new things and the men will be able to find things.
Put signs that make sense at the end of the aisle at eye level.

My my, what a suprise.
Funny fact though; Men who clean house, get laid 40% more than men who don't.

I don't get it though. Men feign stupidity, but then get upset when women don't put out. I don't get why they don't see the correlation. "Gee, maybe if I do the dishes after she cooks dinner, I'll get the second half of the Steak and a BJ combo!"

How is this not common sense? Few things are more romantic to me than my husband helping with housework. It's absol-farking-ly GUARANTEED to put me in the mood.


jeklow: When was the last time your wife/girlfriend jumped her own car/changed her own tire/killed the damn spider in the bathroom?

AAA/AAA/a few days ago.

Seriously, I spend the $50/year on AAA because just one tow or keys-locked-in-the-car and it pays for itself. And I can kill my own damn spiders.

With all of that said, hubby and I have an unspoken agreement that he does the bulk of the yardwork and household repairs and I do the bulk of the cooking and household chores. That doesn't bother me, even though we have a condo and tiny yard and my part usually ends up being bigger (on an hour-by-hour basis.) However, that doesn't mean that I'm there to clean up the crap he leaves lying around. That's his job, and you can damn well bet that if he leaves his tools on the kitchen table or his socks on the couch or his clothes next to the laundry basket instead of in it, I'm going to get grumpy.

If you move stuff around so that people "see new things", many of the men will get confused, go looking for the objects that they went to the shop to get in the first place, ignore the new stuff or just get annoyed at it ... get irritated and leave with whatever they can find in a short time.

SoltyDog
I'm a guy, but I don't get what the big problem is with asking an employee where something is. Is there an explanation for it? Anybody? It's not like you were asking about tampons.

Oakenshield
Upped the bean count? I was under the impression that most people liked coffee as strong as possible. Or maybe I just haven't gone high enough.

I believe in equality. Sadly, for me, the girls I've dated...don't.

I go shopping and I buy food. Food for me. I buy things, that I will later cook and eat. When I'm done, I'll clean up my mess.

When my clothes are dirty, I'll wash them. I'll put away my clothes when they are done.

If I make a room messy, I will clean it.

I pay half of all the shared expenses.

Basically, I treat the girlfriend I live with as I'd treat anyone else. As an equal. And I expect them to take care of their own shiat just the same.

But when it's time to go out, she wants me to drive (my car is nicer, and I'll get shafted for the gas), when we go out to movies or dinner, she'll offer to pay...about 1/3 of the time (I chart it in Excel, it's about 25-35% of the time depending, and YES, if you were to ask her, she would INSIST that she pays half of the time), when it's time to move and something is heavy, it's suddenly my responsibility to move it, even though it's something of hers that I haven't touched in years. When I make a meal, if it's something she likes; she'll expect me to share whatever I make with her; but there are, exactly *zero* meals she cooks that I will eat. Anytime I go to the store, if she can think of anything she needs, I'm expected to purchase it for her. I make a list each week and always buy exactly what I will use; nothing for her to pick up. If she has a problem with her car, or computer; I'm expected to fix it.

In most people's eyes - that's fine. I'm the guy, I should pay, fix her crap, move something if it's heavy, give her food, and pick something up from the store if I'm going...but it sure isn't equal.

I'm a man who does all the shopping in the house, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

But seriously, my wife and I have full time jobs, and I'm the caretaker for my 80 something yr old grandparents, one of whom has had a stroke, the other is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. It's like anything else, I do all the cooking, so I do all the shopping. It's only a grocery store, I've been there a million times, how hard is it to find things? the only bad part comes when they decide to move stuff to test how it sells somewhere else in the store, since my local store is a store #1 of a large chain, so it's the test store for most of the new concepts.
On another note, when did mothers stop teaching their daughters the most basic of household chores? I married my wife and she was unable to do the laundry or cook.

The Jewel near me in Chicago is a damn labyrinth. The hardest thing EVER to find is VELVETTA.

ITS IN THE CRACKER AISLE. WHY? Of course to my girlfriend this makes sense as in her words:
"Its near the macaroni see? *points the entire opposite end of the aisle*"

ARGH. I always mentally plan where I am going in a grocery store so I can get in and get out in the least amount of time possible. I also shop in the off hours.

I really don't like getting groceries.

Women are do-loops, men are gotos.
It doesn't help that the stores seem to move whole sections every month.

This is why I believe every grocery store should have a "plain ol'" aisle. In it you'll find plain ol' yoghurt, plain ol' sour cream, plain ol' potato chips, plain ol' soap, plain ol' crackers... no choices, little selection, just plain ol' versions of the most commonly purchased products without the brain-numbing array of product variants through which we are now obliged to sift.

I had to work at a grocery store last summer, and just in case you didn't know, when we say "Did you find everything alright?" we don't care at all. It's something that's drilled into our minds during training, but we don't care if you found everything alright, and if you can't find it, then we probably can't help you.

Pxtl: My real challenge: fscking Coconut milk. Am I the only person in the city who wants to try to make a half-assed derivative of thai cooking?

Rice aisle, beside the soya sauce.

At least that's where it is at the two Fortino's (AKA PC/Loblaw's) near here.

This topic is a sitcom staple. Anyone care to make a list?

1. That 70's Show: Eric plays stupid so he doesn't have to help plan for Wedding.

2. Everyone Loves Raymond: Robert plays stupid and farks up the wedding invitations to get out of wedding planning.

....

I walked around a new grocery store last night. I just went in for a half dozen things, but it took me damn near forever to find everything. In fact the last item, maple syrup (the pure low-sodium stuff - not that horrible Log Cabin chemical crap), I just gave up on.

When I walk through a grocery store, I expect those isle lists to be accurate - to, I dunno, list everything that's in the isle. This store one put bar soap next to dishwashing soap, but only listed dishwashing soap. Similar omissions occurred on every other isle.

I probably would've asked someone for help finding the syrup but, of course, apparently the only people in the store were at the checkout. Remind me again how it's a good thing to prefer hiring low-wage stoned-out-of-their-gourd kids versus keeping experienced long-term employees on staff?

I'm going to confess something.

I'm a woman just so you know.

I like grocery shopping. I like idly walking around the aisles not thinking about much and slowly picking out the groceries.

I go by myself always by myself and find it quite relaxing.

Yea sure it can be busy and sometimes you get children who don't know how to be quite but I just don't focus on that. If the checkout lines are busy I just look at the magazines or daydream.

Grocery shopping stressful. Nah go by yourself, realise it is a time for you, take your time and relax.


Now clothes shopping I get stressed. It seems that if you don't like whats in the first 3 stores you may as well forget every other store.

The sales assitants are on your back with in 1.5 seconds asking if you have found anything. Do they stop at that, no they also have to barge into the changing rooms.

I don't know about American stores. But at my local Safeway in Melbourne, Australia. If you look at the end of the aisles you will often find the store plan.

This lists all the types of groceries and where they are.

Look for those as they can be very helpful.

I'm a strange guy. I'm both good at and prompt with all household chores. Furthermore, since I'm male, I treat it like an athletic event and get it done in a quarter of the time. Thanks to a school holiday job I can clean a small apartment from top to bottom - to professional standards - in under an hour.

I also like shopping. Don't be afraid to think "Mmmm...ham..."

and women feign stupidity to get out of working on their cars.

"So....do one of you guys know where the oil filter is?"

KramericaWallet "I'm a guy, but I don't get what the big problem is with asking an employee where something is. Is there an explanation for it?"

I'm sorry Sir, that's a seasonal item, we only carry it in the umm, winter.

Fark_Guy_Rob: I believe in equality. Sadly, for me, the girls I've dated...don't.

Stand back girls, there's a real ladykiller in the thread.

I'd let Mrs. Breakneck do all the shopping, but I've found it difficult to live on a diet that consists exclusively of vodka and Pop Tarts.

"Look at that! Fruit, and it's not hanging over the lip of a cocktail!"

-c'est obscure, n'est pas?

miss_enthropic_biatch - Pas vraiment. Je l'emploie souvent.

Pas vraiment. Je l'emploie souvent.

and here I thought you were the President of Burundi!

...or ARE YOU!?

"If your guy is a wimp, stop dating wimps."

Pxtl, I'm not dating him, I married him. He wasn't always like this. He used to be a neat freak. He's only gotten better in the past couple months because I had to become a real biatch about it.

People ask why I don't want kids. I feel like I already have a child...I'm married to him. And believe me, most women feel this way!