Turnout was less than expected?

Bwahahaha

Yes, but can I jump the shark?

There's only 7 types of sharks that will attack/eat humans. Just avoid those 7 kinds.

/have already pet sharks at the Georgia Aquarium

Uh, I think that I'm familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this petting zoo's problem until it swims up and bites you on the ASS!

We're gonna need a bigger zoo.

Ok were gonna need a bar opened up next to the petting tank, cause dads gonna need somethin to calm his nerves.

Heavy petting?

Methinks Ryan2065 needs a bigger boat.

Unavailable for comment

Wanted for questioning

Just because a shark doesn't eat humans doesn't mean it wouldn't nip a finger under the right conditions. Heck my cats don't eat people (under normal circumstances) but they can draw blood at the drop of a hat if you fark around with them.

Anyways, I think this is a great idea with much potential for hilarity. For best results, use a great white.

are they petting dog fish? they have spines!?! that's not safe for kids at all.

Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll open this zoo for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down to the pond and watching bluegills and tommycocks. This shark, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring in your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my land a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and display him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many zookeepers on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

Alot of visitors will be stumped.

Maybe I'm the wrong kind of cynic, but I can't help but to feel bad for the dog shark that's going to be fondled and prodded by a bunch of grubby little hands day in and day out.

Sharks are OK as long as you don't piss 'em off.

Unfortunately, one of the things that pisses them off is swimming in the same ocean with them.

Oh goody, now we get a new...share my scar story scene...

Ryan2065:
"It "ran away" one day..."

No, no. Your dad just took him to a farm out in the country so that it could play and run freely.

FredaDeStilleto

I get it! Bwhahaha!

working well so far, for the Newport, KY aquarium.

New Oceans.

I thought it said New Orleans. To hell with this Hoosier establishment D:

Ryan2065

Good point. I touched a ray at Disneyworld a few months ago. Cleverly I did not expose my chest to the vicious little bastids (me 1, Darwin 0).

I felt really bad for the poor little rays being prodded by everyone (myself included).

*knock knock


"Who is it?"


"Um....telegram.."

darwin. darwin. darwin. darwin. darwin.
DARWIN! DARWIN! DARWIN! DARWIN! DARWIN!

/repeat until deafening

Chandler Bing spotted first in line.

EAT ME!

princebaldric, I can not stop farking laughing, omfg. I dont even know WHY.

How about I take you home and eat your.....

That made me giggle, princebaldric!

jingks

are they petting dog fish? they have spines!?! that's not safe for kids at all.

Depends. Dogfish come in pretty much two flavors. There's the smooth dogfish, Mustelus canis, which is pretty much just a small shark and what I assume the aquarium is using. Don't shove your hand in front of it's mouth and you should be fine. Even at that, it's teeth are pretty small. There's also the spiny dogfish, Mustelus canis. The spiny dogfish has a spine in front of each dorsal fin. I don't know what kind of poison it contains. However, when I had one as a dissection specimen a year ago, my prof told us to make sure we watched out for the spine and remove it immeditately; if we jammed a hand on it, we'd spend the rest of the semester regreting leaving it there. The two species really shouldn't have such similar common names as they really aren't that closely related. They're both Elasmobranchs in that they both have cartilaginous skeletons and fusiform (as opposed to flattened form, like a skate) shape. They differ at the first major phylogenetic division within sharks, that the smooth dogfish has a nictating membrane (third eyelid) and the spiny dogfish does not. In that sense, smooth dogfish are more closely related to hammerhead sharks than they are to they're spiny "cousins".

hogans 2007-05-28 04:02:15 PM
Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll open this zoo for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down to the pond and watching bluegills and tommycocks. This shark, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring in your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my land a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and display him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many zookeepers on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

I LOLd

I know there was a far side cartoon based on bad idea petting zoos.

Who are the jerks in here defending sharks? ALL SHARKS ARE MURDERERS! THEY KILLED MY HIGH SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND.

Sharks! Muthafarkin' Sharks!!!!

/Snakes?

NeverDrunk23 won the thread, sorry, everyone else go home.

/I laughed. Hard.

Jument
Just because a shark doesn't eat humans doesn't mean it wouldn't nip a finger under the right conditions. Heck my cats don't eat people (under normal circumstances) but they can draw blood at the drop of a hat if you fark around with them.

I'm really not sure that a dogfish would be capable of drawing blood -- their teeth are much smaller than those in your goddamned cat's skull.