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(CNN)   Going to the beach this weekend? Sunscreen, check. Beer, check. Fun... leave at home   (cnn.com) divider line 57
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18426 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 May 2007 at 4:38 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-05-26 01:49:21 PM  
Welcome to the Jersey Shore! Have a great time, but please don't dig too deeply in the sand in Surf City (you could get blown up), feed the seagulls in Ocean City (you could catch a disease), or draw dirty pictures in the sand in Belmar (it's rude).

I learned this lesson the hard way in OC Maryland. I got mauled my a flock of seagulls while feeding them my leftover Thrasher's fries. Got a few scratches, but no diseases.

Please, if you're going to feed seagulls at the beach, DO IT AWAY FROM EVERYONE ELSE. The sh*t is annoying and I don't want to get pooped on unless I'm asking for it.
 
2007-05-26 01:49:34 PM  
There are beaches in Florida that forbid beer. Naturally, those signs are to be ignored.
 
2007-05-26 01:55:15 PM  
Your untended and sneaky wives, check.
 
2007-05-26 02:05:14 PM  
Just remember folks, for every rule theres some dumbass somewhere that did something asinine to require it to be created.
 
2007-05-26 02:07:21 PM  
Action Replay Nick: Please, if you're going to feed seagulls at the beach, DO IT AWAY FROM EVERYONE ELSE. The sh*t is annoying and I don't want to get pooped on unless I'm asking for it.

I can't count the number of times I've waited watching; hoping to see some misguided, altrustic toddler throw a fry out into the hoards of gulls that hover just beyond the Lake Erie shoreline as some kind of ritualistic offering and be taken from her stroller and flown away to Canada.

One of these days...
 
2007-05-26 02:10:27 PM  
From TFA: "I can't fathom what the thought process was behind that one," said Mayor Adam Schneider, who did not know the law existed until a reporter questioned him on it. "We can do a pretty good job of looking foolish when we enforce `real' ordinances, let alone something like this. I just hope I don't get embarrassed and find out I voted for it in the past."

Sounds like an ideal congress-critter...
 
2007-05-26 02:17:33 PM  
Dammit, what am I gonna do with the dyspeptic camel I was planning on taking to the beach?
 
2007-05-26 02:21:41 PM  
Oh boy, how original it is to go to the beac...er..I mean, down the shore in NJ for Memorial Day! You get to have so much fun, I mean when you get there after sitting in traffic for 5 hours and wasting that $60 worth of gas you just bought to fill up only half your tank.

But all the room you'll have on the beach is amazing. That 2 square feet of sand you get to put your family on since everyone else is there is breathtaking.

Or maybe you can rent a beach house for the time. Yep, nothing beats waking up to the sounds of the ocean in a house that cost more to rent than paying your complete house mortgage twice!

It'll will be a great time, especially when it rains.
And the drive home will be fantastic, especially getting stuck behind out-of-towners who don't know what 'Right on red' or 'left lane is passing only' means.

Hooray!!

/Pleh, going down the shore on Memorial Day is stupid.
//So original.
///My sarcasmeter exploded....
 
2007-05-26 02:25:31 PM  
NeverDrunk23: Pleh, going down the shore on Memorial Day is stupid.

But... how ELSE are we to remember the fallen?
 
2007-05-26 02:34:47 PM  
CtrlAltDelete 2007-05-26 02:25:31 PM

But... how ELSE are we to remember the fallen?

By getting the best deal on a car or getting that expensive dress at 70% off. Der.
 
2007-05-26 02:42:48 PM  
NeverDrunk23: By getting the best deal on a car or getting that expensive dress at 70% off. Der.

Now that you mention it, I do remember reading somewhere that as dying soldiers clutch the shirts of medics and whisper into their ear while grasping a bloodied letter to their families, they say ".....sss...sidewalk sale."
 
2007-05-26 02:54:18 PM  
the beer part is probably out too (unless you are stealthy about it)
 
2007-05-26 03:04:00 PM  
FTFA: More than 1,000 pieces of unexploded World War I-era military munitions were unwittingly pumped ashore during a winter beach replenishment project decades after being dumped at sea. Authorities say they've removed everything they could, but can't guarantee more munitions don't remain hidden.

How nice.....
 
2007-05-26 03:21:18 PM  
NeverDrunk23: My sarcasmeter exploded...

Looks like someone's working this weekend.
 
2007-05-26 03:26:26 PM  
eddyatwork 2007-05-26 03:21:18 PM

Looks like someone's working this weekend.

Nope. I'm off the whole weekend. I'm not jealous of people going to the beach. I'm happier I don't go to the beach. With all those extra people there, how can it be fun?
 
2007-05-26 04:41:14 PM  
NickelP: Just remember folks, for every rule theres some dumbass somewhere that did something asinine to require it to be created.

Not necessarily. Some people just like creating rules.
 
2007-05-26 04:45:50 PM  
Can you still play with the Jersey City Beach Whistles?

/Jersey City Beach Whistles = Tampon applicators that bob ashore.
 
2007-05-26 04:47:04 PM  
Many of the beach towns on Long Beach Island, one of New Jersey's most popular summer vacation spots, have laws prohibiting people from digging deeper than 12 inches in the sand. They stem from an accident several years ago in which a teenager died when a deep hole he was digging collapsed, burying him.

That must have been one hell of a hole.
 
2007-05-26 04:49:23 PM  
"I used to take pictures of signs at the entrance to beaches that had long lists of all the things you couldn't do," said Dery Bennett, head of the American Littoral Society's Sandy Hook chapter.

American Littoral Society? Heh, I like anything that rhymes with female genetalia...
 
2007-05-26 04:50:49 PM  
Other beaches won't let you eat, pick flowers, fly a kite, gamble or ride a camel.

Hell, then what's the point of going to the beach??
 
2007-05-26 04:51:35 PM  
-For a guaranteed laugh toss a few unwrapped Snickers bars in the water close to shore...


/they float
 
2007-05-26 04:54:05 PM  
Unless it's Natty Ice, Beer is pretty much guaranteed fun.
 
2007-05-26 04:56:33 PM  
Am I the only person wondering how you could get blown up by digging in the sand?
 
2007-05-26 04:57:58 PM  
Holy fark! They actually have unexploded munitions still in the sand at the beach? AND they still let people on the beach? Lawsuit?
 
2007-05-26 04:58:12 PM  
Unexploded ordinance, man. Left over from N.J.'s great war for independence back in '82. Didn't end well.
 
2007-05-26 05:03:02 PM  
Meh. After a week the old fogies with their metal detectors will have been over every inch of beach 600 times. If there's anything metal out there, like 90 year old artillery shells, they'll find it.

/BOOM !
 
2007-05-26 05:05:21 PM  
Fluid: Not necessarily. Some people just like creating rules.

True but mostly I think people are unmotivated to do anythign without a reason. Most of the time what I said is true. The creation of rules is something like:

1. Someone does something stupid.
2. Everyone biatches at who is in charge.
3. Person in charge is like christ fine no longer is doing "something" allowed just to get them to stfu.

Example?
Many of the beach towns on Long Beach Island, one of New Jersey's most popular summer vacation spots, have laws prohibiting people from digging deeper than 12 inches in the sand. They stem from an accident several years ago in which a teenager died when a deep hole he was digging collapsed, burying him.

I guarantee this caused a huge headache for someone thats in charge of the beaches.
 
2007-05-26 05:05:33 PM  
NeverDrunk23:
/Pleh, going down the shore on Memorial Day is stupid.
//So original.
///My sarcasmeter exploded....


I agree, stay away. Too many of you are here already.
 
2007-05-26 05:06:20 PM  
Wait, why the hell were people fighting for N.J? I figured everyone wants to get the hell out of there as fast as possible.
 
2007-05-26 05:08:57 PM  
Action Replay Nick: I got mauled by a flock of seagulls

Did you run...run so far away?
 
2007-05-26 05:15:28 PM  
Solty Dog: Did you run...run so far away?

+1
 
2007-05-26 05:16:07 PM  
The main reason I don't go to the Jersey Shore is that I can't ride my camel.

That and I hate people.
 
2007-05-26 05:18:19 PM  
N.J. beach rules target seagulls, camels, dirty pictures

Camels? I hope that does not mean camel toes as well.
 
2007-05-26 05:22:36 PM  
I guess he "couldn't get away" Solty.
 
2007-05-26 05:24:41 PM  
According to TFA, thou shalt not "revel, disport or behave in an annoying, boisterous manner, emitting loud cries."

I'm at the awkward age where I can't decide if I'd rather be the annoying, boisterous crier or the cop beating the snot out of those little punks.
 
2007-05-26 05:39:50 PM  
Spring Lake has always been uptight. For decades the prime spot along the beach was owned by a croquet club. Spring Lake's proceedures for getting a season pass were the most annoying along the shore as well. "No reveling" sounds exactly like that town.

\Train to 7 presidents ftw
\\yeah I'm from Jersey, ju gots a prolem wit dat?
 
2007-05-26 05:49:56 PM  
Ahh the Jersey shore... not only do I have to look for random hypodermic needles and medical waste in the water now the beach is a minefield.
 
2007-05-26 05:51:47 PM  
Who would WANT to go to a beach like that?
The only beach I've ever been to (except for Myrtle beach - ewww) has no lifeguards, no boardwalk, and the only duty that the beach patrol has is to make sure nobody digs up turtle nests. But I won't be able to go there anymore since the rich people discovered it and bought everything. I mourn.
 
2007-05-26 05:57:17 PM  
Can I still pick a fight w/ a random Guido?
 
2007-05-26 05:59:38 PM  
Action Replay Nick

Please, if you're going to feed seagulls at the beach, DO IT AWAY FROM EVERYONE ELSE. The sh*t is annoying and I don't want to get pooped on unless I'm asking for it.


How YOU doin'?
 
2007-05-26 06:13:23 PM  
FTFA: "In Brigantine, you can't...'revel, disport or behave in an annoying, boisterous manner, emitting loud cries.'"

Dash it! Glorious Apollo, I query you, where is it that one can disport with abandon now? These are surely troubled times for free men!
 
2007-05-26 06:30:18 PM  
They stem from an accident several years ago in which a teenager died when a deep hole he was digging collapsed, burying him.

bwahahahahahahahaha

/first Darwin nominee of the decade.
 
2007-05-26 06:53:20 PM  
Runningjoke 2007-05-26 04:45:50 PM

Can you still play with the Jersey City Beach Whistles?

/Jersey City Beach Whistles = Tampon applicators that bob ashore.


Or the infamous Coney Island Whitefish.

/eeeew!
 
2007-05-26 07:06:28 PM  
i61.photobucket.com
 
2007-05-26 07:17:15 PM  
As a teenager, I used to work down at the shore. I can tell yous, they don't have ENOUGH laws for dese guys. Start with a law about nude color bikini bathing suits for old men weighing more than 300 pounds. Now that's what I'M talking about!
 
2007-05-26 07:31:53 PM  
Being from NJ and spending my fair amount of time at the shore the laws can be stupid. What is most annoying are the morans that post here thinking that the medical waste from NY still washes up on the NJ Shore.

Some of the most pristine beaches I have ever seen are in Cape May. Not much to do down there, but it is beautiful.

Having worked as a REHS the water off the beaches is tested a lot more often than other beaches in this nation, this is why NJ shuts beaches down. They knew/know about the high levels of bacteria. Unlike other states that just let you swim in shiat.

/Never would go down during Memorial Day
//All of Florida's sand has been washed down from NJ btw :)
 
2007-05-26 08:57:47 PM  
Dowap: //All of Florida's sand has been washed down from NJ btw :)

That's interesting, since the Gulf Stream flows South to North.
 
2007-05-26 09:10:16 PM  
Dowap: Having worked as a REHS

Rear Ending Homeboy Sucker? Royal Ejaculating Hand Stroker?
 
2007-05-26 09:13:32 PM  
"How can you tell a kid not to dig in the sand?" asked Faith O'Dell, who lives near the beach in Surf City, where most of the fuses were found. "It's their nature, it's what kids do. And when your kid says, `Why, Mommy, why can't I dig in the sand?' what do you tell them, that they could blow themselves up?"

So... she's saying... they shouldn't have a rule against digging? It would be nice if there were, you know, no explosives under the sand at all; but given that there could be, do O'Dell and the article writer think the rule is silly?
 
2007-05-26 09:33:36 PM  
Dowap, are you really getting a kick out of these replies?
 
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