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(Some Guy)   Say you're tasked with coming up with the eleventh commandment. What would it be? LGT original batch   ( divider line
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3553 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 May 2007 at 4:46 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2007-05-26 07:21:58 AM  
Thou shalt not talk about fight club.
2007-05-26 07:22:50 AM  
Thou sahlt not talk about Smite club
2007-05-26 07:23:52 AM  
Thou shall not spam.
2007-05-26 07:25:35 AM  
11. Thou shall know this book is just a guide and should not be taken literally. Keep away from children.
2007-05-26 07:27:27 AM  
Standing ovation for seabass242 !
2007-05-26 07:30:54 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

15 Commandments ?

2007-05-26 07:42:01 AM  
Thall shalt not use books written before humanity discovered scientific principles as a basis for an understanding of reality.
2007-05-26 07:43:52 AM  
i thought #1 was "If it feels good, or teaches you to think for your self, thall shalt not do it"
2007-05-26 07:45:02 AM  
Catholic addendum; Thats not what Jesus meant when he said 'suffer the little children unto me'!!
2007-05-26 07:47:40 AM  
As with all the herbs of the field, it is for thine use, so thall shalt smoke it and enjoy.
2007-05-26 07:52:33 AM  
11: Thou shalt ignore all previous commandments, and just live thy life as thou will, hurting none.
2007-05-26 07:53:29 AM  

/party on Wayne.
//party on Garth.
2007-05-26 07:59:08 AM  
11. There's nothing I can do about the sun, so shut the hell up.


In a way there was an Eleventh commandment given in the New Testament by Jesus. "This is my commandment, that you love one another, that your joy may be full."

So.... be excellent to each other, and party on dudes?
2007-05-26 08:10:39 AM  
Thou shall not file frivolous lawsuits
2007-05-26 08:13:53 AM  
I got here way too late to say:

11) Thou shalt not masturbate way, way too much. Lookin' at you. Yeah, you.
2007-05-26 08:21:22 AM  
thou shalt not fart in confined public places after a night of pickled eggs and cheap beer
2007-05-26 08:24:50 AM  
11. Thou shalt enable voting
2007-05-26 08:37:28 AM  
11. Let's go have drinks.

2007-05-26 08:42:50 AM  
11. Thall shalt not vote if thou art a fundamentalist of any kind, for thy views are too extreme, and you are not representative of the electorate. If thou art moderate, or progressive, thou MUST vote in order to advance the concepts of peace, diplomacy, and flexibility.
2007-05-26 08:46:27 AM  
11. JSUT KDDING!!1!11ONE!1! LULZ!!!11!!1ELEVEN!!11
2007-05-26 08:48:12 AM  
11. Sit, Ubu, sit.
12. Good Dog.
2007-05-26 08:51:28 AM  
2007-05-26 08:51:51 AM  
Fark that. An eleventh commandment would be a terrible marketing decision. There's a reason there are ten.
2007-05-26 08:53:13 AM  
hey Pot,
Yes you can, and yes it is.
2007-05-26 08:54:09 AM  
11. Thou shall work hard and play hard, and not just sit around on thy fat ass all day eating doritos and funyuns and talking about whether thou would or would not hit it. Thou would hit it, even if thy knees are pointy.
2007-05-26 08:57:23 AM  
Thou shall not get caught
2007-05-26 08:58:07 AM  
Though shalt recognize these as general moral value and ignore any institution which seeks to profit from telling you these morals

Believe in man....not an organisation
2007-05-26 09:10:35 AM  
11. Thou shalt respect ye fanboys and pay homage to ye source material.
2007-05-26 09:11:32 AM  
11. Thou shall have bacon for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
2007-05-26 09:11:51 AM  
11. You messed it up, you clean it up.
2007-05-26 09:15:22 AM  
11. If thou art caught with thine hand in the cookie jar, thou shalt deny, deny, deny. Then run for elected office, and steal form jar again, add infinitum.

//least thats what i think it said...
2007-05-26 09:16:19 AM  
11. Now get off my damn lawn!
2007-05-26 09:19:58 AM  
Reverend_Gladstone "11. Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music"

Try telling that to deathmetal fans
2007-05-26 09:21:34 AM  
Thou shalt not pretend to know the will of God.

2007-05-26 09:25:24 AM  
Thou shalt not hate the playa; thou shalt only hate the game.
2007-05-26 09:27:36 AM  
11. Thou shalt eat pie.
2007-05-26 09:31:51 AM  
ninjasquirrl: Though shalt recognize these as general moral value and ignore any institution which seeks to profit from telling you these morals.

I second this one.
2007-05-26 09:34:02 AM  
11. He's got big balls. she's got big balls.
But God's got the biggest, balls of them all!
His balls are always bouncing,
to the left, and to the right.
It's our belief that his big balls should be held every
2007-05-26 09:34:50 AM  
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [Whereupon the friar is urged, "skip a bit, brother"]... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen.
2007-05-26 09:35:10 AM  
dc2vegas: 11. Thou shalt respect ye fanboys and pay homage to ye source material.

And that smoking pile of ash? Ron Moore after the wrath of this God....
2007-05-26 09:42:13 AM  
WhyteRaven74 Thou shall note there are 613 commandments with no hierarchy to them

/ask a Jew about that one, you know a Jew, like Jesus was

That's why Jesus condenses all 613 down to 2: love God & love each other. Our silly adherence to the big 10 is just because Christianity has still not broken with the original Jewish love of rules. It's not about following arbitrary rules, it's about not being an asshole.

/Ironically, given my feelings about rules, I'm Catholic.
2007-05-26 09:42:18 AM  

Thou shalt not interpret allegories and parables literally.


11. Thou shalt not vote unless you have a clue about the issues and candidates.

These are both excellent. My own suggestion:

11. Thou shalt cut a hole in the box.


Thou shalt stop submitting cat threads or the Lord shall smite thine anus.


[image from too old to be available]
2007-05-26 09:43:20 AM  
11. If you read this far get back to work, and stop reading stupid emails! HAHA

(Do not send this to millions of idiots or they may take it seriously and the world will have bad luck forever!)
2007-05-26 09:43:52 AM  
11. Prophet
2007-05-26 09:43:55 AM  
11. Thou shalt give more than one takes.
2007-05-26 09:49:43 AM  
Thou shalt not arbitrarily group 12 commandments together so that you can say it's only 10.
2007-05-26 09:57:11 AM  
One of my favorite comics is...

Moses is standing there with the tablets in his hand looking toward the sky and he says....

"So let me get this straight, the Arabs get the oil and we have to cut off the end of our what??"
2007-05-26 10:03:09 AM  
11. Thou shalt have my blessing to mercilously beat all spammers, cybercrooks, hackers, crackers, blackhats, virus/spyware/adware writers, identity thieves, and scammers without any fear of repurcussion.
2007-05-26 10:05:44 AM  
Thou shall play ball if there is grass on the field
2007-05-26 10:08:57 AM  
11. Thou shalt not mark it eight, Smokey.
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