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(The Peterborough Examiner)   Robber: "I've got a gun in my pocket, give me $5,000". Bank teller: "I'm sorry, sir, I can only give you $200. Oh, and there's a $5 service fee"   (thepeterboroughexaminer.com) divider line 74
    More: Dumbass  
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12475 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2007 at 1:39 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-05-25 12:30:14 PM
And here I thought you were happy to see me (begins sobbing). Nobody approaches me with a boner anymore always with the notes and the guns. That's it I'M GOING ON SLIMFAST!
 
2007-05-25 01:43:23 PM
I got nothing. The truth is more farked up than any comment I could possibly make.

/The Terrorists have already won.
 
2007-05-25 01:44:12 PM
yay for ptbo

/tfa sums up local crime
 
2007-05-25 01:44:45 PM
The Hell??? I thought the headline was just a joke but it's actually true.
 
2007-05-25 01:45:58 PM
"You must think by now that there's something wrong with you," Graydon said to Emmorey. "Is this normal in your mind?"

pwnd!!1!
 
2007-05-25 01:46:58 PM
I just want to know why the judge banned him from firearm ownership for only 10 years. Even though he is an idiot, he did ROB A BANK. How about you can own a gun, like, never?
 
2007-05-25 01:47:15 PM
That teller has the balls of a banker.
 
2007-05-25 01:47:18 PM
Yay Peterborough! (Son was born there)

But uh, yeah, that's Peterborough.
 
2007-05-25 01:47:55 PM
"Graydon also banned him from owning any weapons for 10 years. "

Hmm well ifyou go with 'weapon' as defined by the TSA.. no pies, jello, bottled anything, PB&J sandwiches.

Other possible weapons : jokes about the pope, spitballs, questioning the president. I mean geez you might as well be dead. I dont think being a corpse is considered being a terrorist/weapon yet.
 
2007-05-25 01:48:44 PM
farm1.static.flickr.com

A guy can't even make an honest living as a crook anymore!

/uh wait ..
 
2007-05-25 01:48:46 PM
those service fee's are a biatch
 
2007-05-25 01:49:15 PM
Ontario is the Florida of Canada.
 
2007-05-25 01:49:17 PM
I've got a tube of FULL SIZED toothpaste here. Don't anybody move! :)
 
2007-05-25 01:51:00 PM
Wow. That article is hilarious. What the fark is wrong with this guy?
 
2007-05-25 01:51:07 PM
MrLint: "Graydon also banned him from owning any weapons for 10 years. "

Hmm well ifyou go with 'weapon' as defined by the TSA.. no pies, jello, bottled anything, PB&J sandwiches.

Other possible weapons : jokes about the pope, spitballs, questioning the president. I mean geez you might as well be dead. I dont think being a corpse is considered being a terrorist/weapon yet.


And don't forget fruit and pointy sticks...

what a maroon. Charged a service fee, way too funny.
 
2007-05-25 01:52:09 PM
I have a gub . . .
 
2007-05-25 01:53:01 PM
what kind of robber takes a receipt, never mind takes a service fee? there has got to be something more to this story ... maybe it was some kind of performance art gone awry?
 
2007-05-25 01:53:08 PM
As much as I am a 2nd Amendment advocate and firearms enthusiast, I don't think this jackass should be able to own anything more dangerous than a butter knife. Violent criminals have no business owning guns.
 
2007-05-25 01:53:19 PM
Oh yeah, thats Peterborough for you... pretty well sums it up. The only thing that would have made it more entertaining was if it had been Havlock or Coe Hill.

(lived there for a few years, but managed to escape with most of my sanity ;) )
 
2007-05-25 01:53:39 PM
Tellowned
 
2007-05-25 01:53:45 PM
OMG I love it. I freaking love it.
 
2007-05-25 01:55:32 PM
Robber: GIVE ME $5000!
Bank teller: I can only give you $200, minus a $5 service fee.

us.movies1.yimg.com

DEAL... or NO DEAL?
 
2007-05-25 01:56:06 PM
the other question is, what kind of teller risks his or her life, even if they don't believe he even has a gun, to play what amounts to a practical joke? The teller should be fired for endangering herself and her coworkers. The story really boggles the mind.

Maybe the robber thought he was taking out a loan?
 
2007-05-25 01:56:10 PM
The first thing that came to mind was that he must have tried to rob a Wells Fargo bank. If you don't have an account with them, they will charge a $5 check cashing fee, even on checks drawn on their bank.

++1 to the teller.
 
2007-05-25 01:56:30 PM
Should we start a petition for a 'Peterborough' tag?
 
2007-05-25 01:57:58 PM
The bank teller has serious confidence.. good for her!
 
2007-05-25 01:59:44 PM
Why would you do this? The bank has insurance, you give the guy whatever he wants and you don't have to worry that he shoots you.
 
2007-05-25 02:01:08 PM
The fiscally responsible teller told Emmorey she could only give him $200, and told Emmorey there would be a $5 transaction fee because Emmorey was not a client at the bank.

Funniest thing I've read all day. Stupid people are stupid beyond the comprehension of normal people.

I was in a fast-food restaurant once and saw the following handwritten sign at the counter

"No change made, due to change restrictions."

/I LOL'd
 
2007-05-25 02:01:34 PM
Delphis: The bank teller has serious confidence.. good for her!

Yeah really... think of how much of a farkup this guy must have been for a teller to even try to pull something like this. If he weren't a complete blathering idiot I'm sure no teller would risk it.
 
2007-05-25 02:01:34 PM
Most branches keep a limited amount of cash on hand. And most of what they have is in the vault. If this numbnut came up to a teller's counter at just the "right" time it's entirely possible that the teller might have only had $200 in the till.
 
2007-05-25 02:03:52 PM
Maybe the teller had nothing to lose.
 
2007-05-25 02:04:52 PM
fatal_exception
I doubt any bank teller would only have $200. What if someone wants to withdraw money or cash a check? You know, stuff you do at a bank.
 
2007-05-25 02:11:35 PM
Uncle Karl

The money isn't there, why its in Bill's house, and Frank's house.
 
2007-05-25 02:12:49 PM
Yay! Still happy I live in Lindsay!
 
2007-05-25 02:13:46 PM
The real victim here is the guy in line behind the robber who was forced to wait the extra few minutes while the robber filled out the paperwork
 
2007-05-25 02:15:39 PM
Awesome....my hometown!

Bonus...Mom used to manage that bank branch!
 
2007-05-25 02:17:22 PM
Let are kids walk, or thay will rob banks
 
2007-05-25 02:17:57 PM
FeeltheIllinoise
Why do bill and frank have my money? This is a bank not a savings and loan for FSM's sake.

/It is not a wonderful life.
 
2007-05-25 02:19:51 PM
It's about time people stand up for them selves.
 
2007-05-25 02:22:45 PM
Confidence? Noooo... that is the blaise sense of invulnerability that allows middle aged women step in front of moving cars in parking lots and back their cars into traffic without looking. They have switched off their normal survival instincts to make more mental room for shopping and tooling around on endless useless errands.
 
2007-05-25 02:22:55 PM
I was a bank teller and there's no minimum or maximum you'd have in your drawer. If you took in a ton of cash the head teller would buy it off you (the vault counter as part of her drawer) but routinely I remember having thousands of dollars in my drawer.

Remember though, that includes a coin vault which had hundreds, if not thousands, of rolled coin.
 
2007-05-25 02:25:45 PM
Uncle Karl: I doubt any bank teller would only have $200. What if someone wants to withdraw money or cash a check? You know, stuff you do at a bank.

Obviously you'd be surprised at how most banks do business here. If you needed more actual cash than what the teller has at the counter you'd be asked to wait a few minutes while the teller gets a supervisor to accompany him or her to the vault to get more bills. In smaller branches like ones you'd find in Peterborough if you need more than about $3000 cash your bank will expect you to notify them a few days in advance so they can request the extra with the next securities delivery. More than half of bank transactions today don't involve physical cash. As a teller is running down the cash levels they'll access the lineup and if possible close the wicket to go stock up again. All of this is to minimize the take from robberies so yes, if it was busy a teller may at the right time have as little a couple hundred dollars in the drawer.
 
2007-05-25 02:26:47 PM
Having been a bank teller in a former life, I must say whoever this teller was was either incredibly observant (noting the robber was dim enough not to question the low amount of money offered, and the service fee) or incredibly stupid. I specifically remember hearing in teller training, several times, to give the robber whatever he wanted with no resistance, regardless of whether or not they have a weapon. Cash is replaceable. People are not.
 
2007-05-25 02:27:05 PM
I remember have thousands of dollars in my drawers too - then came the strip search.
 
2007-05-25 02:27:34 PM
Um "access" should read "assess".
 
2007-05-25 02:36:41 PM
studebaker Hoch
Stupid people are stupid beyond the comprehension of normal people.

Ain't that the truth!
 
2007-05-25 02:36:47 PM
Eric Hexagon: Confidence? Noooo... that is the blaise sense of invulnerability that allows middle aged women step in front of moving cars in parking lots and back their cars into traffic without looking. They have switched off their normal survival instincts to make more mental room for shopping and tooling around on endless useless errands.

That is nature's way of leaving more resources for the young hotties.
 
2007-05-25 02:37:57 PM
schiefaw - Praise science, I wish that were true. Heh!
 
2007-05-25 02:40:28 PM
Uncle Karl

Fine, Uncle Billy lost it, you happy?
 
2007-05-25 02:42:30 PM
Uncle Karl: I doubt any bank teller would only have $200. What if someone wants to withdraw money or cash a check? You know, stuff you do at a bank.

I dont even see tellers with tills/drawers anymore - they operate a computer console, then walk back a few steps to a common machine with a keycard attached to their wrists, which then feeds the cash to them like an ATM. The teller really is just an extra money counter and signature taker between you and an atm - I wouldnt go robbing a bank these days thinking i could get any cash.
 
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