FARK.com: (2826258) You will never win a knife fight by stabbing yourself until the police use a taser on you

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(Some Stabby Moron)		You will never win a knife fight by stabbing yourself until the police use a taser on you (koin.com)		37
		More: Stupid

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3548 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2007 at 2:04 PM | Favorite | share:

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37 Comments (+0 »)

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MacEnvy		2007-05-25 10:41:20 AM

At least he didnt bring it to a gun fight.

"Never bring a knife to a taser fight?"

brap		2007-05-25 11:47:35 AM

Um, could you interupt this bout of self loathing and do me just one little favor? Drink this cup of water.

I'm sorry I'm just really into cartoon visal gags, thanks.

jimmyego		2007-05-25 12:08:44 PM

Sounds like a challenge to me, who's in?

MidnMike		2007-05-25 02:05:24 PM

But after the police use a taser on you, you will win the knife fight?

Machine99		2007-05-25 02:07:27 PM

It Hurts to stab ones self.

chaddsfarkprefect		2007-05-25 02:08:37 PM

I read the headline and thought it was in a different language.

After RTFA, I couldn't have made sense of the article either.

GonzoNihilist		2007-05-25 02:09:09 PM

"Told you I was hardcore!"

/got nothin'

millertrey		2007-05-25 02:10:52 PM

farking big government infringing on the rights of citizens to stab themselves.

//is this a police state?
/yes, yes it is.

jasmine2501		2007-05-25 02:12:34 PM

My money is on "Gay lovers quarrel" - stabbing yourself is pretty gay.

fawlty		2007-05-25 02:13:28 PM

Leave it to a Wopburger to bring a knife to a taser fight.

bung ho		2007-05-25 02:13:47 PM

So what's plan B?

Frameous		2007-05-25 02:14:01 PM

Willie and Frankie finally have it out.

TXEric		2007-05-25 02:14:23 PM

meh... meth... helluva drug... that is all.

brap		2007-05-25 02:14:30 PM

jasmine2501 2007-05-25 02:12:34 PM

To hell will "gay lovers" for that matter to hell with human interaction. If I could stab myself I would never leave the house.

L.B. Jeffries		2007-05-25 02:14:31 PM

Maybe they'll find one of these lying around.

/I'm almost ashamed of this reference

tvgal11		2007-05-25 02:15:36 PM

A stab in the dark?

JDAT		2007-05-25 02:15:45 PM

Never say NEVER

phreakmonkey		2007-05-25 02:25:04 PM

64K Basic

OK
10 You will never X until Y
run

Syntax Error in 10
OK

moheeb		2007-05-25 02:26:11 PM

You will win a rape fight by stabbing her until police use a taser on you.

bingethinker		2007-05-25 02:27:07 PM

This comes under the heading of "People Unclear on the Concept."

No, no, the pointy end goes into the other guy!

Wolfy		2007-05-25 02:29:01 PM

There can be only ZERO?

/For some reason I imagine this to be Bobby Fisher

DaveNukem		2007-05-25 02:35:51 PM

Stabbin yourself! That's a taserin.

fappomatic		2007-05-25 02:38:21 PM

Oh Jeebus K Reist, the man was simply demonstrating technique.

He survived with life threatening injuries. That's a B+

corbell		2007-05-25 02:38:56 PM

He was just charging up his rage meter so he could do a special move.

/Totally read about it in the FAQ.

vudukungfu		2007-05-25 02:39:30 PM

Sounds Emolectric to me.

overrideshutdown		2007-05-25 02:40:24 PM

I really gotta say... Why stop him? Let him finish.
You mean there's gonna be one less moron in the world? Oh how will I ever sleep tonight?

Starhawk		2007-05-25 02:45:44 PM

faaaaaaaark youuuuuuur canooooooooe!

tkirby		2007-05-25 02:57:38 PM

Ah yes, the old Asshat gambit.

bajonista		2007-05-25 02:58:36 PM

Starhawk

+1 for you, sir! I thought of that joke too.

Cagey B		2007-05-25 03:11:00 PM

Taser tag. Now.

fonik		2007-05-25 03:16:04 PM

You're doing it wrong!

Daffydil		2007-05-25 03:17:23 PM

faaaaaaaark youuuuuuur canooooooooe!

/I don't get it.

Chubbymcmuffin		2007-05-25 03:26:54 PM

kinuman		2007-05-25 04:08:49 PM

"I see you've played Knify Spoony before, then."

media.urbandictionary.com

/Obvious.

Talkc		2007-05-25 05:35:08 PM

This one ended better than the toenail clipper fight where the guy turned the clippers on himself.

/Even the most hardcore detectives were puking at that scene.

peacefulwarrior		2007-05-25 07:56:07 PM

What a ridiculous headline. I've won every knife fight I've ever been in by going through the following steps:

1. Get drunk
2. Pick fight with knife-wielding maniac
3. Before commencing said fight, make bet that I will draw first blood
4. Stab myself
5. Note to opponent--I didn't say WHOSE blood, now did I?
6. Collect winnings
7. Profit
8. Get drunker