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(Myth, Myth... Yeth?)   Ten myths about divorce   (marriage.rutgers.edu) divider line 330
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44726 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2007 at 12:30 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-05-24 07:27:31 PM
1 Because people learn from their bad experiences, second marriages tend to be more successful than first marriages.

2 Living together before marriage is a good way to reduce the chances of eventually divorcing.


3 Divorce may cause problems for many of the children who are affected by it, but by and large these problems are not long lasting and the children recover relatively quickly.


4 Having a child together will help a couple to improve their marital satisfaction and prevent a divorce.


5 Following divorce, the woman's standard of living plummets by seventy three percent while that of the man's improves by forty two percent.


6 When parents don't get along, children are better off if their parents divorce than if they stay together.


7 Because they are more cautious in entering marital relationships and also have a strong determination to avoid the possibility of divorce, children who grow up in a home broken by divorce tend to have as much success in their own marriages as those from intact homes.


8 Following divorce, the children involved are better off in stepfamilies than in single-parent families.


9 Being very unhappy at certain points in a marriage is a good sign that the marriage will eventually end in divorce.


10 It is usually men who initiate divorce proceedings


I can reply to all of those with 1 reply: it has more to do with the person that you're with. Compatibility means everything.

When it comes to the kids... either they'll be respectful, smart enough and not be selfish, then, no problem.
 
2007-05-24 07:48:42 PM
That article was pure propaganda, and almost entirely wrong.
 
2007-05-24 09:09:32 PM
The one statement this article wanted to shoot down can be expressed as follows: "Divorce can, under certain circumstances, be considered good, or at least better than the alternative."
 
2007-05-24 09:58:17 PM
JohnnyC 2007-05-24 07:48:42 PM
That article was pure propaganda, and almost entirely wrong.


Propaganda for what? And wrong based on what studies?
 
2007-05-25 12:35:39 AM
From a group called the National Marriage Project. Doesn't SOUND like they've got an agenda...
 
2007-05-25 12:37:57 AM
I only have one piece of knowledge regarding divorces, but it's perhaps the most relevant in our times. It comes from this gentleman:

www.mtctickets.com

If you ain't no punk, holla WE WANT PRENUP! WE WANT PRENUP! Yeahhhh.
 
2007-05-25 12:38:12 AM
Here's 1 truth about divorce's, they suck more than anything.
 
2007-05-25 12:38:18 AM
this should be a well reasoned, insightful thread.

/New to fark
 
2007-05-25 12:39:33 AM
Something_Creative

Well, yeah, they have an agenda.

Just like NASA has an agenda. It's f'in called space.
 
2007-05-25 12:40:18 AM
Something_Creative: It's based at THE State University of New Jersey, so I sincerely doubt there's an agenda.
 
2007-05-25 12:42:21 AM
he woman's loss was twenty seven percent while the man's gain was ten percent

I find that hard to believe, since the man will probably be forced to give the biatch at least half of all his stuff and a massive hunk of his earnings. (Especially if there are kiddies involved.) Men get *farked* in a divorce. Farked hard. Makes you wonder why anyone gets married anymore.
 
2007-05-25 12:43:55 AM
Great, more trite bullshiat about how the precious babies cure all marital ills. Well, babies sure do cure a good night's sleep and an active sex life...
 
2007-05-25 12:44:08 AM
dudeirock5
>Here's 1 truth about divorce's, they suck more than anything.

I helped my current roommate through a divorce, and I can categorically disagree with that statement.

The one worse thing would have been staying in that marriage.

/The kids even agree, which is truly sad
 
2007-05-25 12:45:14 AM
1. Because people learn from their bad experiences, second marriages tend to be more successful than first marriages.

As Dr. Johnson told us a couple of centuries ago, second marriages represent the triumph of hope over experience.
 
2007-05-25 12:46:08 AM
Regarding finances: "the woman's loss was twenty seven percent while the man's gain was ten percent"
IANA statistician, but doesn't that mean lawyers get the other 17 percent?
 
2007-05-25 12:46:16 AM
You know why divorces are so expensive?

Because they're worth it.

/speaks from experience
 
2007-05-25 12:46:21 AM
Q: What do you call someone who failed out of medical, dental and vet school?
A: A social pysychologist.

I'm divorced with a child and actually the ex and I get along better than we did when we were married. The secret? Keeping the courts out of our divorce. We actually sat down, acknowleged our mutual differences together and discussed our own terms, then wrote them out. Just like what do you call that... oh yeah, adults.
 
2007-05-25 12:48:11 AM
he woman's loss was twenty seven percent while the man's gain was ten percent


gradatim
>Men get *farked* in a divorce. Farked hard.

Same friend ended up having to find a roommate to live with (me) because he couldn't afford a single room apartment, let alone a 2 room so the kids had a place to stay on visitation. However, he did pay for his ex-wife's attorney's fees, her car, and she was able to buy a new house.

Right there with ya man
 
2007-05-25 12:48:32 AM
I can tell all you snideass farksticks something, divorce is bad, period. Nothing good comes out of it except in the most extreme cases of abuse. When kids are involved, it's hell. You ever tried to be strong and stable for a five year old and a three year old when you're heart is torn out because their mother walked out? If not, shut your farking hole about divorce. You don't know shiat.
 
2007-05-25 12:49:49 AM
yarnothuntin
Just like what do you call that... oh yeah, adults.

Unfortunately, it takes two to tango... and not enough folks know how to dance like adults. (or am I carrying that metaphor too far?)
 
2007-05-25 12:50:53 AM
A more balanced view of this group and their agenda...

http://www.unmarried.org/10problems.php
 
2007-05-25 12:51:33 AM
FACT: divorce is the child's fault.

/duh
 
2007-05-25 12:51:34 AM
Something_Creative: That article was pure propaganda, and almost entirely wrong.

Propaganda for what? And wrong based on what studies?


The Official Outisarse Study.
 
2007-05-25 12:51:50 AM
I'm still waiting for an answer to Son of God's question.
 
2007-05-25 12:52:59 AM
I'm divorced with a child and actually the ex and I get along better than we did when we were married. The secret? Keeping the courts out of our divorce. We actually sat down, acknowleged our mutual differences together and discussed our own terms, then wrote them out. Just like what do you call that... oh yeah, adults.

Yeah, my wife thought she had that kind of relationship with her ex. I did too. We hung out together. It was cool.

Then the money stopped coming.
So fark him.
 
2007-05-25 12:53:17 AM
For those who didn't RTFA, those ten points at the top of this thread where the "Myths", each then where followed by a pretty good debunking. Still, It would be less painful to die once than divorce multiple times
 
2007-05-25 12:54:34 AM
yarnothuntin

Sounds healthy. good for you, i mean it.... But... what if you screwed up and married a crazy crazy biatch? (um, like my... friend)

Thanks god for Kanye's advice. love that song.
 
2007-05-25 12:56:06 AM
cue the endless stream of anecdotal 'evidence'.....
 
2007-05-25 12:56:25 AM
Na, I'm hearing you on this. My sister is going through a really nasty bit o' divorce and the biggest problem is this idea that both she and the ex needed to keep hurting each other. Sure it's natural to be hurt but after a while you just need to let some things go. She is going after him legally, he's going after her socially- and it's a real shame and I'm thankful for how well my ex managed to work things out. I mean hell, we still spend holidays together. We gave up our pains for the better of the kid and believe it or not everyone benefits.
 
2007-05-25 12:56:54 AM
treesloth
I'm still waiting for an answer to Son of God's question.


A Research Advisory Board made up of the following distinguished academic and social science experts guides the work of the National Marriage Project:

Don S. Browning, Alexander Campbell Professor Emeritus of Religious Ethics and the Social Sciences, and Director, the Religion, Culture and Family Project, University of Chicago

/answer?
 
2007-05-25 12:59:14 AM
Why Get married ?

EYE BLEACH LINK
 
2007-05-25 01:00:21 AM
Krumet: As Dr. Johnson told us a couple of centuries ago, second marriages represent the triumph of hope over experience.

There used to be a store at 13th and Arch St. in Philly across from the old Greyhound bus station called Doc Johnson's. Sold "marital aids" or so the sign said. Same guy?
 
2007-05-25 01:00:21 AM
Propaganda for sure.

As always trying to paint women as the victims.

If women's standards of living go down so much it is because they would rather marry a the 40 year old dentist with the house and porsche than the 25 year old broke guys they graduated with.

Why should anyone expect to continue to maintain a certain standard of living when the only reason they were able to attain that standard of living was through marriage. Women should do what men have to do. Be self sufficient first, then get married.

Anyways i've never heard of a man's standard of living improving expect for the guys who divorce the expense armpiece and have no children and are somehow able to get away free.

This is what it should say. Women's standard of living ends up dropping 27% from what it was during the marriage but remains 150% higher than what it was before the marriage.
 
2007-05-25 01:01:11 AM
Women hit the jackpot when they get married. It either works out and they have eternal happiness, or it doesn't and they get half his wealth and a third of his assets for the rest of his life.

The divorce rate in this country will continue to be over 50% as long as women have overwhelming financial incentives to do so and it remains a crime to repeatedly punch her in the face for burning the pie.
 
2007-05-25 01:01:21 AM
Thank God.

"It's great!" wasn't on the list.

*wipes brow*
*resumes filing papers*
 
2007-05-25 01:02:22 AM
From Study #2: "Premartial Cohabitation and Marital Instability in the United States: A Reassessment" Journal of Marriage and the Family 54 (1992):

So the first opinion didn't what? Interesting....


Yeah, I'm with the "depends on who you're with" crowd. You just can't keep shoving people into "models" of things. Even doctors of anything get divorced. Whouldathunkit?
 
2007-05-25 01:02:36 AM
damn. I dont even have a long enough attention span to read the list in the thread. Nevermind rtfa.
 
2007-05-25 01:03:40 AM
Divorce sucks, if the involved actually had honest feelings for each other and were putting effort into the relationship. Always hurts to fail something. Love not the least.

Of course there's the flip side too. Where it's completely necessary. But it's still not a "good" thing to have to divorce. It's just the lesser of two evils at that point.
 
2007-05-25 01:04:51 AM
Verm
I can tell all you snideass farksticks something, divorce is bad, period. Nothing good comes out of it except in the most extreme cases of abuse. When kids are involved, it's hell. You ever tried to be strong and stable for a five year old and a three year old when you're heart is torn out because their mother walked out? If not, shut your farking hole about divorce. You don't know shiat.

So what your saying is - your getting a real kick out of these replies?
 
2007-05-25 01:05:57 AM
Wrong based on religious beliefs.



Also the person who asked the question goes by the Fark name "Son of God".

Because your god said so isn't a good reason to stay married to a psycho biatch.
 
2007-05-25 01:06:08 AM
The article was entirely propaganda.

The reason for a higher rate of divorce of couples who cohabit beforehand is that -- since they are open enough to break with tradition before marriage, then divorce is no big deal - the "traditional values" don't get in the way.

Those who cling to "traditional values" tend to avoid cohabitation before marriage, then they tend to avoid divorce. Then I suppose they just exist miserably together.
 
2007-05-25 01:08:30 AM
Marriage is over. The corporations won't allow it. Marriage distracts from work.

/now get back the work
 
2007-05-25 01:08:30 AM
Divorced People should be Banned from FARK.com

MY HOT WIFE LINK
 
2007-05-25 01:09:25 AM
Myth #11) Divorced singles lead a celibate life of alcoholism and porn addiction.

Fact: After your divorce, an abundant phantsmagoric all-you-can-eat sexual smorgasbord awaits you. It's like turning on a faucet!

No cops, no lyin' biatch, no hassle!
 
2007-05-25 01:10:06 AM
MemoryInMotion: The article was entirely propaganda.

umm, since it's not in your profile... how old are you?
 
2007-05-25 01:11:44 AM
As a child of a divorced family, I can say that I would have been happier if my parents stayed together. Women exploit it. My grades plummeted afterwards. My mother remarried and I can't bring myself to spend a night in their house. Alimony is B.S. in the long term as well as the way that (some) men are treated in divorce cases with child support.

/not getting a kick out of these replies.
//Why yes i am bitter, why do you ask?
 
2007-05-25 01:12:29 AM
Mikey Adams WEEI
Divorced People should be Banned from FARK.com


All divorced people, Mikey? There are no innocents?
 
2007-05-25 01:14:35 AM
@oregoncat

I'll be 38 in 2 months.
 
2007-05-25 01:17:19 AM
I'm lazy and it's late, so I won't look it up, but the authors of this study seem to have, as many above have pointed out, an agenda.

Just looked into a lot of longitudinal child development studies for a class--there's a buttload of evidence on the contrary to a lot of claims in this article. Meta-studies generally conclude that evidence is insufficient to say one way or another on a lot of issues regarding divorce and the child. Don't ask me to cite them, because, once again, I'm lazy and it's late. Then again, I'm a real scientist, not a sociologist, so I believe in things like statistical testing and meta-studies.

Still the only meaningful predictor of a child's development and adult life? All together now: parents' income!
 
2007-05-25 01:18:14 AM
MemoryInMotion 2007-05-25 01:14:35 AM
@oregoncat
_________________________________________________
I'll be 38 in 2 months.
MemoryInMotion 2007-05-25 01:12:29 AM

Divorced,38 and NO sence of Humor...We have trifecta folks...quick get her before somelse wins her Vagina lottery
 
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