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(   STAR WARS fans will sense a disturbance in the force amid rampant rumours that a new movie set before the prequels is to be announced in LA tomorrow   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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26330 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 May 2007 at 7:45 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

329 Comments     (+0 »)

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2007-05-24 01:40:31 PM  
I have to admit I did not care for Episodes 1 through 3. And to be honest, I don't see what the big deal is over episode 5. Revoke my geek card if you must, but A New Hope was better.

It surprised me how poor the acting was in I-III, but it might very well be the directing/dialog more than the actors.

I was very disgruntled when Attack of the Clones didn't have a mass of clones attacking everywhere as suggested by the title. How long was the actual battle during that movie?

I remember hearing these rumors about a third trilogy following episode 6 my whole life. It was supposed to be something about how Luke ended up going corrupt and becoming like Vader (more machine than human) due to the final battle with the emperor and Vader. Han and Leia have twins who have to fight Luke. Seemed rather poor a story line considering it had already been done.
2007-05-24 01:40:31 PM  
I also am willing to surrender a testicle for a KOTOR movie.

As for the KOTOR II restoration project, I think it's called "Team Gizka" if you're curious to see what it is. They're not done yet, but they've restored a lot apparently.
2007-05-24 01:43:42 PM  
I think they should make a show about wise-cracking Watto running his junk yard. It would be like Sanford and Son in space.
2007-05-24 01:44:10 PM  
I'd always figured that midi-chlorians were just an indicator of the force, not the force itself.

Ahhh - a metaphysical poop! The movie does leave that open; but the treatise Tesseract posted did state that "if you don't have midi-chlorians, you don't get The Force".

Your idea opens up interesting possibilities - that everyone has The Force but just dosn't know it, and it's therefore useless to them. Kinda like having an immense wang with erectile dysfunction?
2007-05-24 01:45:29 PM  
The violence in III was so stupid. III was just retarded...the last 20 minutes were barely watchable. The whole "chosen one" arc...ugh.

And all the horrible, obviously non union "actors" and extras...

Don't get me started.

It's obvious Lucas didn't plan or conceive any of this crap...SW4 was a fluke, and Empire and Jedi were directed and written by professionals...

Those TV shows will be wayyyy better than the last 3 movies...I hope
2007-05-24 01:46:52 PM  
Pxtl: "Kyle Katarn" that people keep bringing up - are we talking about the Nintendo game?

His character was featured in a novel by Michael A. Stackpole called I, Jedi.
2007-05-24 01:48:35 PM  
I take the train to work and always carry a camera in my backpack just in case I see anything interesting, such as movie/TV filming or whatever.

I'm sure to see some Star Wars dorks heading to the Convention Center tomorrow. This could be fun.

/conan, please send triumph down there
//please please please
2007-05-24 01:50:21 PM  
I guess I should read the d**m page before I link it. I got the video game character Kyle Katarn mixed up with Corran Horn the character in Stackpole's book. Doh!
2007-05-24 01:50:46 PM  
If it's not the "Heir To the Empire" trilogy then count me out!
2007-05-24 01:50:58 PM  

There probably won't be much turnout. Half of them will still be in this thread debating how to off George Lucas.
2007-05-24 01:55:29 PM  
I have a bad feeling about this.

/did no one else say this?
2007-05-24 02:07:00 PM  
mannerheim: wow an undergrads reference. i'd like to see a season 2 of that

2007-05-24 02:21:48 PM  
Maybe they are going to make a horror film...maybe name it Blue Harvest?

//Depends on how nerdy the Star Wars fans on Fark are
2007-05-24 02:22:44 PM  
I'd only be interested in more Star Wars movies if Irvin Kershner directs them and Leigh Brackett and Lawrence Kasdan write them. They were responsible for the one that's far and away the best of the bunch.

Lucas has really only directed Star Wars movies since the late 70s, and his track record with THOSE is by now really bad (he's 1.75 for 5).
2007-05-24 02:28:15 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

...actually, he's more Frownybot :(.
2007-05-24 02:28:34 PM  
The Timothy Zahn books and KotR were far better stories than the pure crap that was episodes 1-3.

Episode 1 - did you know that Darth Vader was Jesus? No, really, virgin birth. Oh, and the Force isn't a power at all, it's bugs in your body that you can quantify.

Episode 2 - In which we learn Yoda is really a psychotic weasel on steroids when he pulls out his lightsaber and even Jedi have huge boughts of teenage angst.

Episode 3 - Woah, Senator Palpatine is really an evil Jedi? No wai! Oh, and look at all the neat stuff we can throw in to desperately tie this in to Episode 4.
2007-05-24 02:31:53 PM  
Remake the prequels! Pretty much the whole of the important storyline is implied. We have to put up with a 2 hour farking pod race while all sorts of jedi stuff is going on elsewhere in the universe. We have to put up with "Are you an angel" and "Yippie!" while clones are being ordered and jedi are turning to the dark side etc. Because Lucas knew he'd get millions from the prequels nomatter what he does, he decided to use them as adverts for ILM rather than do a decent story. No integrity
2007-05-24 02:32:01 PM  

Scrophulous Barking Duck

X-wing vs. Tie Fighter was pretty good, but I loved the original Tie Fighter game.

Ahh Tie first "Blackbearded" game

/Downloaded via 14.4 Modem
//All night
///For five 1.44Mb floppies worth of game
2007-05-24 02:32:28 PM  
Everybodys got it wrong.

Kyle Katarn is the main character of the Dark Forces/Jedi Knight video game series, and also makes appearances in the New Jedi Order books.

Shadows of the Empire is one of the most popular Star Wars novels of all time and it takes place directly between Empire and Jedi and focuses on the main characters as well as a newcomer Dash Rendar, who you play as in the Shadows N64 game.

Corran Horn is the protagonist of the Stackpole Novel I, Jedi, working under the name Kieran Halcyon. He is also a main character in the Rogue Squadron novels and is one of the more important Expanded Universe characters.

/nerdier than you
2007-05-24 02:36:22 PM  

I'll see it twice.
2007-05-24 02:37:13 PM  
Wow. Lots of vaginas. Lots of sand.

[image from too old to be available]ORLY?
2007-05-24 02:42:08 PM  
Mr. Logo:
What would be cool would be an x-wing/tie fighter MMO...

Full of win. I wanna pwn your Rebel asses!
2007-05-24 02:50:41 PM  

Midi-chlorians - there's an idea for a new movie. The Camino invent a way of transfusing midi-chlorians into everyone. People start shooting energy bolts at each other over parking disputes. Entire population of universe goes foom.

It's KAMINO you farking icehole! RAGE!!!

/me Force-chokes Turings_Other_Machine over standard TCP/IP
2007-05-24 03:02:35 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
This thread needed more Porkins.
2007-05-24 03:05:08 PM  
Only Lucas would name a race of geneticists after Chevy's crappy half-car, half pickup. That and calling the place where the squid people come from "Mon Calamari". Just damn.
2007-05-24 03:07:06 PM  
i'd give it a chance if someone else directs it...hell what am i saying they have my money already no matter how bad it is.
2007-05-24 03:14:43 PM  
mooseyfate You were disappointed that there was a better RP game than Baldur's Gate? Must suck to be you.

I loved both KOTOR games, but they weren't even a fraction as deep and challenging as either of the BG games, or any of the infinity engine games. KOTOR was fairly linear and the universe was disappointingly small. I think because it also had to cater to the console crowd is the main reason. Still fun, but I would have loved a hardcore RPG set in the SW universe.
2007-05-24 03:16:12 PM  

It was either that or "Squidland". Don't believe me? Look it up.
2007-05-24 03:21:29 PM  

I don't remember being able to chide a Wookie with a life-debt into strangling the woman he's protected and befriended for the better half of his life just because she was getting lippy with me in Baldur's Gate. IMHO, I liked KOTOR more than Baldur's Gate. Longer /= Better. But I guess we can just agree to disagree.

/character interaction FTW
2007-05-24 03:26:38 PM  
Am I the only one who wishes there was a Star Wars game for the wii so I can use the wiimote as a lightsaber?

/Was all I could think about the firts time I held a wiimote
//Yes, I know I'm a nerd
2007-05-24 03:26:40 PM  
Leigh Brackett and Lawrence Kasdan write them.

Leigh Brackett died while co-writing Empire. She didn't write hardly any of it. They put her in the credits out of respect.
Nothing of Brackett's personal contributions to the script survives into the finished movie.

/irrelevant I know, but wanted to nerd out a bit.
2007-05-24 03:27:54 PM  
Lutwidge: Mission: Michelle Trachtenberg

Absolutely not, because 1: I can't imagine her blue and 2: it would just feel wrong fapping to her.

/What? I have a thing for Twi'leks.
//That thing is my penis.
2007-05-24 03:37:00 PM  
wilbo26: I loved both KOTOR games, but they weren't even a fraction as deep and challenging as either of the BG games, or any of the infinity engine games. KOTOR was fairly linear and the universe was disappointingly small. I think because it also had to cater to the console crowd is the main reason. Still fun, but I would have loved a hardcore RPG set in the SW universe.

The Elder Scrolls: A New Hope?
Corellia's Gate?
Forceout 2?
Neverwinter Jedi Knights?

/Sigh, I want an uber-RPG in SW too. Preferably EU. Y'know, the good parts of the Star Wars universe that Lucas arbitrarily decided to shiat on rather than incorporate the decades of fandom into his anticipated prequel movies.
//Eps 1-3 should have been eps 7-9, and they should have been the farking Zahn trilogy.
///Grand Admiral Thrawn OWNS YOU.
2007-05-24 03:44:41 PM  
Tesseract: The Case for the Empire
Everything you think you know about Star Wars is wrong.
by Jonathan V. Last
05/16/2002 12:00:00 AM

This is a cool article, but I largely disagree with it. Why? Substitute the Galactic Empire for the American Empire, and move yourself to Iraq. Whether the Empire is good or evil largely depends on where you live. If you are living in the Empire, things are status quo. If you happen to be living in a place where the Empire is flexing its muscles, things are not so blissful.

Sometimes it's better to just be a nerf herder.
2007-05-24 03:54:11 PM  
I hate Star Wars so much that even when I hear the 20th Century Fox theme, it makes me want to kill people. Then I remember that I really don't give a shiat, so everything's cool.
2007-05-24 03:58:04 PM  

Every damn thread has to have some genius post either a Star Wars, Simpsons, or South Park Reference.

How witty.

Who invited Gramdpa to the party?
2007-05-24 04:02:22 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2007-05-24 04:08:36 PM  

Pssh! Who HASN'T fapped to Michelle Trachtenberg (who would be an awesome Mission, and probably even awesomer Missionary Position) since Euro Trip came out? Hell, I jerked off 3 times in the first 15 seconds she was on screen!

/face it
//She grew up
///and she filled out very, very, very well
[image from too old to be available]
////Commence Fapping
2007-05-24 04:18:58 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2007-05-24 04:19:40 PM  
Hold me like you did on Nabu.
2007-05-24 04:20:38 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Last one I promise.
2007-05-24 04:34:56 PM  
A prequel to PREQUELS?!

The man must be stopped.

Oh and...

///and she filled out very, very, very well

I disagree. Ribcage = Very, very unsexy. 'Filling out' usually implies curves of some kind. Boobs. Hips.

/Sharp knees, etc.
2007-05-24 04:39:02 PM  

You're a fatty, aren't you?

/I keed, I keed!
//Michelle Trachtenberg is still a freakin' hottie
2007-05-24 04:41:46 PM  

*I* think I'm a fatty, some agree and some disagree. :P Doesn't change what I find attractive. I think it's mostly 'cause she doesn't look healthy. She probably is, but the girl's a waif. Some people think that's gorgeous. I'm not one of them.

She does have a sort of ackward sweetness that's endearing, but I wouldn't hit it. ^_^'
2007-05-24 04:47:18 PM  
The Banking Clan will sign your treaty.
2007-05-24 04:53:18 PM  
I'd like to see an episode centered on Jar-Jar. In the Episode I we learn that he was banished for some reason. It would be great if they started with his youth and showed him getting into trouble up to the point where he is banished.

Either that, or an episode where they come up with new ways of torturing him. I'm flexible. :)
2007-05-24 04:56:18 PM  
Many Bothans died to bring us this information.
2007-05-24 05:08:39 PM  
She does have a sort of ackward sweetness that's endearing, but I wouldn't hit it. ^_^

I would.

/duz I wen deebaits?
2007-05-24 05:35:19 PM  
boba fett movie between the time he picks up his dad's head and runs with it like walter payton and the time you see him enjoying a daquiri in mos eisley.
2007-05-24 05:57:10 PM  
Hollywood Cole

Who would you rather Anakin be?

The_Sixth_Sense came out the same year as Ep 1. Haley Joel Osment demonstrated that a kid can give a very smart, dark and nuanced performance. Lucas apparently had platoons of kids read for the part, and back at the time, I wondered how he had missed HJO.

But I have to agree with with Pxtl that the overriding factor is George Lucas. Stick any actor in front of Lucas, and they go completely limp. Quite a spectacularly sad case of DD - Directyle Dysfunction.
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