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(Some Guy)   Turns out Gary Larson was prescient -- the semi-boneless chicken farm is now a reality   (scienceblogs.com) divider line 43
    More: Scary  
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4079 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 May 2007 at 2:32 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2007-05-21 08:40:49 AM
Yeah.

I read an editorial the other day by a PETA dude, saying that there is a chicken holocaust going on.

Well, I say bravo for breeding a chicken that is edible in half the time. We're feeding the world with this kind of work.
 
2007-05-21 08:55:23 AM
Earguy
Well, I say bravo for breeding a chicken that is edible in half the time. We're feeding the world with this kind of work

Subby here. I gotta agree with you, even though the thought of all these chickens in pain somehow gets to me.
I remember seing a news report on how scientists bred chicken so that they actually liked being cramped. I'd like to see something similar done here --specifically what, I dpn't know. But in the meantine, yeah, 'humans first' is my motto.
 
2007-05-21 10:56:58 AM
Anybody who's ever ate a plate of chicken wings knows that there are a shiatload of chickens arriving to be slaughtered with broken bones.

I like chicken as much as the next guy, but a broken bone just spoils my appetite. I'm weird like that, I guess.
 
2007-05-21 11:05:20 AM
Can the chicken come to the table to help you select a cut? If not, then Gary Larson is no Douglas Adams.
 
2007-05-21 11:19:00 AM
Now if only Gary Larson was prescient (good word, Subby!) about minute steaks..
 
2007-05-21 11:25:02 AM
I hope someday they can find a way to breed "meat" that doesn't have a brain and therefore, can't feel pain. If they can do semi-boneless chicken, surely, they could do headless from the start chicken, no? And then make the same taste/meat, just free of the cruelty of killing animals?

That, to me, would be signs of a utopia.

/Meat tastes fine to me, but I can't deal with the guilt.
 
2007-05-21 11:31:13 AM
Unright Now if only Gary Larson was prescient about minute steaks..

The trick would be to breed itsee-bitsee tiny cows.
 
2007-05-21 11:39:21 AM
Oh, yeah, thread needs the pic (best I could do).

fhabets.googlepages.com
 
2007-05-21 11:50:44 AM
img1.picturewizard.com
from wiki:
Larson's sense of humor, while original, can also be confusing to some, as in a comic dubbed "Cow Tools" (The Complete Far Side 1:251) that caused masses of readers to speculate on the use of the crudely formed tools depicted in the panel, while the cartoonist had just found humor in the idea that if a cow could make a tool, they would most likely look as he had drawn them; in other words, readers were looking for a deeply-embedded punchline which simply wasn't there.
 
2007-05-21 12:49:33 PM
serpent_sky: I hope someday they can find a way to breed "meat" that doesn't have a brain

Yet another reason to support embryonic stem cell research! I'm sure that if we but ask, the researchers will assure us that this is by far the most promising line of inquiry towards ending this terrible and inhumane situation.

/Rare, please. Skip the Bearnaise.
 
2007-05-21 01:17:24 PM
Weird how we've moved from "Star Trek"-inspired inventions to those inspired by a comic strip...
 
2007-05-21 01:38:10 PM
serpent_sky: I hope someday they can find a way to breed "meat" that doesn't have a brain and therefore, can't feel pain. If they can do semi-boneless chicken, surely, they could do headless from the start chicken, no? And then make the same taste/meat, just free of the cruelty of killing animals?

now that would truly be a miracle of science. how would you feed it? lay it in some solution.

nothing says yummy than a slab of fried chicken glob.
 
2007-05-21 02:14:04 PM
serpent_sky: I hope someday they can find a way to breed "meat" that doesn't have a brain

images.askmen.com
 
2007-05-21 02:33:48 PM
the semi-boneless chicken farm is now a reality

Is that what they're calling the Free Republic now?
 
2007-05-21 02:52:01 PM
AlanSmithee
dogdaze

Gary Larson hates you posting his comics on the web.

See his words at:
(doesn't pop)
 
2007-05-21 03:00:39 PM
serpent_sky: I hope someday they can find a way to breed "meat" that doesn't have a brain and therefore, can't feel pain.

It's been done. Some scientist has developed a process to grow a steak overnight; he's just looking for a financial backer to develop and market it. Unfortunately for you and I, the rest of the world is not ready for a Filet of Petri, so we wait.
 
2007-05-21 03:01:07 PM
As soon as they stop being delicious, I'll stop eating them.
 
2007-05-21 03:04:26 PM
I say who cares! It's food... why the hell are we complaining that it may be suffering if we plan on eating the damn thing anyway. It's not like we are breeding them as pets or populating a zoo... they are food. If you're going to sit there on a high horse and whine about cruel treatment and broken bones take a second and think that perhaps that chicken LOVED the days when it had broken legs and weak bones and was rammed into a cage with 137 of his closest chicken friends. It was a shiat load better than being dead on your plate.

Eat meat... breed it however you want... whip it with a 2x4 and cramp it into a breadbox if it makes it taste good. I dont care. Man spent tens of thousands of years fighting to get to the top of the food chain, why turn back now.

/if we weren't meant to eat them they wouldnt be made of meat.
 
2007-05-21 03:27:25 PM
If God didn't want us to eat animals he would've made 'em out of rocks.
 
2007-05-21 03:34:35 PM
If God wanted us to eat rocks, he would have made them out of meat.
 
2007-05-21 03:40:32 PM
dahmers love zombie

+1
 
2007-05-21 03:45:33 PM
Valmaxian: If God wanted us to eat rocks, he would have made them out of meat.

If God wanted us to rock meat, he would have made chickens out of guitars.
 
2007-05-21 03:49:06 PM
I'm really not looking forwards to eating chicken-shoggoth hybrids.
 
2007-05-21 03:55:30 PM
If evolution works, why haven't chickens evolved to taste bad?
 
2007-05-21 04:00:59 PM
Gary Larson was a tired old hack who can't hold a candle to the intellectual and artistic ability of Ted Rall.

:)
 
SMF
2007-05-21 04:45:42 PM
I also heard they don't have feathers so they are easier to clean. You bunch of suckers beleive everything you read on the intartubes.
 
2007-05-21 05:10:04 PM
I read the headline as "..Gary Larson was president."

Would have explained a lot.
 
2007-05-21 05:55:37 PM
Torc

Being tasty is actually an evolutionary advantage.

How many cows, pigs, chickens, etc. would exist if they were not so yummy-licious? We'd be wiping the useless things out.

As it is, we breed 'em and feed 'em. Sucks for the individual, but is great for the species. And that's all genes care about.

/stupid, unfeeling genes
 
2007-05-21 05:59:40 PM
dahmers love zombie: serpent_sky: I hope someday they can find a way to breed "meat" that doesn't have a brain

*winner*

Rogh-sensei: It's been done. Some scientist has developed a process to grow a steak overnight; he's just looking for a financial backer to develop and market it. Unfortunately for you and I, the rest of the world is not ready for a Filet of Petri, so we wait.

At the moment you would need to pay thousands of dollar for a steak. I believe the idea was to allow astronauts the ability to grow their own steaks in space. I think it would be a good idea if it tastes the same. People could grow only the best cuts and not have to waste tons of feed supporting the nasty bits.
 
2007-05-21 06:35:01 PM
Jonah Lehrer is an editor at large for Seed Magazine. His first book, Proust Was A Neuroscientist, will be published by Houghton-Mifflin in 2007.

...Jonah is currently planning for prom and looks forward to growing pubes.
 
2007-05-21 07:13:46 PM
poutine514: Gary Larson hates you posting his comics on the web.

If Gary Larson wants me to care about his opinion he shouldn't express it in white-on-black.

/Puts hands over eyes until vision returns to normal.
 
2007-05-21 07:16:23 PM
A lot of people need to RTFA. It's not that they have bred a semi-boneless chicken, it's that we have developed new feeds and rechniques that get them to proper weight in only 6 weeks instead of 17. That's ONE THIRD the time. This isn't long enough for their skeletal structure to develop properly enough to support the weight, so they get all gimpy.

OTOH, nobody cares about the turkeys that are so absurdly huge that they cannot mate naturally, which as been the case for YEARS.
 
2007-05-21 07:21:36 PM
Mister Peejay: turkeys that are so absurdly huge that they cannot mate naturally,

Isn't that the case for Americans too?

/G, D&R
 
2007-05-21 07:32:29 PM
Oh, come on now! Doesn't everyone know yet that KFC isn't chicken?
http://www.uncoveror.com/chickin.htm
 
2007-05-21 09:30:42 PM
 
2007-05-21 09:44:10 PM
The pain makes it extra tasty......
 
2007-05-21 11:05:40 PM
alert when decapitated...
wait, we're talking about chickens here... even the most brilliant of the species has a strained look on its face when attempting to pay attention to ONE thing.

define your "alert"

I'll be out back holding them down on the log until they STOP squirming so I can hit them with the hatchet without hurting myself... turns out CHOKING THEM works pretty well.

Ask your momma's grandma, used to be you just snatched one up, bapped its head on the wall and ran a knife through it's throat and then simply didn't look at its eyes blinking for 40 seconds.

If you have problems with zero point six percent of dinner being injured just before it is killed you should do something about the same number of people being INJURED BY DRUNKEN DRIVERS each year... save the chickens... bah. Can I have your liver?
 
2007-05-21 11:31:53 PM
news.bbc.co.uk

Featherless chickens, might be able to save a lot of water and bring cheap protein to tropical areas.
 
2007-05-22 12:01:06 AM
How can people have enough give-a-fark left at the end of the day to care about something with a brain the size of a pea? Get a mortgage and be miserable like the rest of us, hippy.
 
2007-05-22 12:43:26 AM
wamblin_man

here here!
 
2007-05-22 05:55:52 AM
well, the problem with the "being alert" is that it goes something like this:

chicken hangs upside down, sent into the zapper. chicken doesnt get zapped out for some reason and is still awake when it comes towards the circling knives. the event following involves a lot of flapping and cackling as the chicken tries to avoid the blades, so the chicken is hacked and mauled or might quite possibly avoid them altogether. regardless, they are sometimes still alive when it comes to the boiling steam that is supposed to de-feather them. crappy way to go, being boiled alive.

so, yeah. gas the buggers. just tell them they're in for a shower...
 
2007-05-22 11:19:10 AM
Earguy

I'm naming my next band "Chicken Holocaust".
 
2007-05-22 01:22:08 PM
GibbyTheMole, Earguy:

I'm naming my next band "Chicken Holocaust".

www.imagehosting.com
 
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