What's next--Kirk/Sheridan/Han Solo three way gay fan fiction? Mix in some Ewoks to make the furries feel more welcome?

Maybe they should throw in the lizards from "V" in the mix, and all of them to face the Aliens while Predators stalk Deep Space Nine looking to take Ferengi ears...and while they're at it, they can be all attacked by damn, dirty apes who mastered time travel with the help of the Taelons and the Space Rangers who hunt them, and then Tim Thomerson can come down with the Trancers and the then reprise his role as Dollman to kick everyone's ass...while VINCENT and crew of the Pegasus can swoop in from the wormhole while the Farscape and Odyessy 5 crews desperately try to avoid the whole conflict by jacking the Far Out Space Nuts and the Ruth Buzzy and Jim Neighbors in the Lost Saucer, and Will and Holly Marshall can make an appearance, along with the gals from Cleopatra 2525...leading an expeditionary force of Sleestak to the promised land of Pelucidar...riding Thoats! Yes Thoats! Where will it all end? Where? When Sherlock Holms and Alan Quartermain show Picard and Kirk who the real bad asses are, with the Count of Monte Cristo...

And then to clean it all up, we can bring in Honor Harrington with the Royal Manticorian Navy to shoo off the Kzin raiders who have sniffed the conflict, and the crew of the Streaker can help folks escape, all while Joshua Calvert leads a brigade of voidhawks armed with anti-matter torpedoes with Lazarus Long and the Gay Deciever to head off the forces CHOAM who have discovered that the Grey Lensman has fallen under the control of Skynet and the Ceylon menace...have I missed anything?

FatherJack--You know, I forgot about the whole Flash Gordon, Wilma sub-plot to take over the Galactica to counter the G-Force kids who were taken over by Invid raiders--who have wrested control of the wave motion gun from our heroes, and threaten all the good people of the Moon...

Luckily J and K are on hand to give them an assist. Threatened by Sigmund and his cousins, the two must journey deep into the desert, where they are saved from thirst and dehydration by the ARK-2, and must destroy the Empire of the Ants, only to discover that the giant insects have been co-opted by the Phase 4 ants, and must recruit the Kingdom of the Spiders, as well as the mutants of Mauraue. It's then that that Sandmen attack, because J and K are certainly over 30, and must be eliminated to make it a Brave New World, safe for all the nice folks who survived the Andromeda strain by laughing hysterically at return of Dylan Hunt and the Republican High Guard--let's face it, the uniforms will certainly trigger the desired effect, though it would open up a chance for a fantastic space battle with Neitzchian raiders spiralling after X-Wings, TIE fighters, and Colonial Vipers boosting into the fray, and the physics tied Star Furies would be at a decided disadvantage in such a combat.

Then, and only then would the mining ship, the Red Dwarf hove into view, dragging along with it the Satellite of Love, sent on its journey into the far reaches of space, with Tom Servo at its helm, and his new love slaves R2 and 3PO bowing to his every whim. The rest of the crew having been Borgized, and infecting the entire Collective with bad taste, making them a perfect target Ming's mind control rays.

Now, did I miss anything?

FatherJack--I thought Pidge and Cheetarah were going through the stargate to bring the Galexy 999 back to save the tribbles and Deep Space Nine from attack by the Synthetic Men of Mars? Or maybe that was just the Sugar Bombs kicking in...

TellarHK--Don't make me unleash my HK action flick gate. Too many Bad Films, so little time. Too bad Space.com ran out of money for my column...they were paying $.10 a word too. Shape of bouncer, form of an encyclopedic reference library...

TellarHK--I must say that I completely missed the HK in your handle other than typing fast. I was referring to my OTHER geekly obsession. Very tired, dealing with insurance companies in the morning instead of sleeping. Might explain the maniacal posts though... *hangs head in shame, trooping back to the kitchen for cheese doodles*