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(Some Drunkard)   Tell YOUR amusing drunken story. Voting enabled.   (guinness.com) divider line 267
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4412 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Aug 2002 at 1:15 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-08-26 09:05:38 PM
This one isn't vote-worthy, but has anyone ever made that pathetic drunk phone call to the ex, proclaiming your undying love for them...that one is a show-stopper. Especially when you find out about it the next day.
 
2002-08-26 09:55:52 PM
I was on a varsity sports team in college, and we had our annual Christmas party. My teammates and I did plenty of shots...
Hours later, I awoke on the stairs in my dorm. Still drunk, I realized I was uncomfortable, so I turned over and went back to sleep on the stairs.

I woke again in the morning, with a raging hangover. I went to run my fingers through my hair, and I found I couldn't - my hair was all sticky and stiff. I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and shrieked - MY HAIR WAS FARKING BLUE! It was stiff because I hadn't even washed the dye out!!!!!
This one was a little hard to explain to the folks during Winter break.
Now back to my margarita.
 
2002-08-26 09:56:20 PM
shiat, i've got too many to mention, but out of curiosity, how many here have been to the underage mecca of drinking, Juarez Mexico?
 
2002-08-26 11:18:44 PM
I was studying in Paris one summer and my schoolmates and I were at this american bar (the only one that had a happy hour & decent chili)... so a friend decieded to get me back for the time I got him smashed on triple tequila sunrises.

I had 3, triple tequila sunrises. You do the math <G>

I remember little about the denoument... but I do recall ping ponging my way between the parked cars and the parked buildings, to the metro. There I announced I had to pee, however (thank you france) I had no coinage for the ladies. But the Gent's was open & free...at least the urinal part was free.

After doing my best Annie Oaklie aiming, & wiping the dribbles off my shoes... the next thing I noticed, I was knocking over a lot of chairs in a restaurant (when did we get to the restaurant?)

Finally, the next morning I woke up... sans hangover. However I shared a room with the teacher. She told me she found me passed out on the floor of the bathroom and didn't think I was breathing, and at the time she was trying to think of the French 9-1-1 (neuf-on-on?) I woke up and went back to bed, so what happened.

Did I mention this was a "dry" campus... even over-bloody-seas? <G>

I said I felt sick and hot and so I fell asleep on the bathroom floor so I could feel better.

She acutally BOUGHT that steaming load! <G> Christians, ain't they gulligble!

but wait... there's more! I also found out that some classmates had discovered me sitting down, riding the elevator up and down. I was babbling something about the key not being on the hook behind the concierge.

To this day I have no idea how I got into my room.

M.E.B.
(and I've never drunk tequila again!)
 
2002-08-26 11:28:08 PM
There are way too many but a probably the worst experience was when I was 18 and in Mexico for Spring Break. Out flight back home left at midnight on St. Paddy's Day. My friends and I get completely wasted and about 3 hours before the flight was suppose to leave, we start doing tequilla shots with the hotel bartender. At this same hotel bar was the biggest pedofile (sp?) ever who took a liking to my drunk self and decided to give me a small travel size bottle of Mexican vodka. NEVER drink Mexican vodka, its vile. So anyway, by the time we get on the flights I'm so drunk that I pass out before take-off. Wake up almost home and spend the rest of the flight, including landing in the WC. Going through customs was an experience as I'm still quesy and green and of course, my luggage is filled iwth cheap tequilla. Ahhhh, never again....
 
2002-08-26 11:58:54 PM
Party all night at bar,
Go to Humpty's for late night vittles,
Go to washroom in said Humpty's and pass out locked in stall,
Brother carries me out and calls a cab,
Get back to the joint and go to the bathroom,
pass out in bathroom - falling so that I am wedged between the door and the shower and no one can get me out.

=)
 
2002-08-27 12:19:26 AM
A Drink List from a guy's 21st Birthday
http://www.site73.com/archives/129.html

::25 shots, 9 hours of drinking. The ritual of turning 21::


We all have to turn 'of age' sometime, so what better time to not only get completely wasted but do some Research into the 21 shots on your birthday phenomenon. Yes, 25 in 9 hours isn't impressive at all, add in the beer, long islands, passing out, eating, and any other assortment of things needed to be done in 24 hours it was a normal weekend... but it gave me the excuse to drink heavily, get presents, and visit Vinnie's family bar (an outstanding place at that). So without further stalling, 25 shots and what I remember about them:
1. Jagermeister: Speaks for itself and tastes like ass as a first shot. People argue whether this tastes like black licorice, rice, cow shiat, or any other number of things people will claim Jagermeister is, I just call it Everclear, root beer, and piss without the alcohol.

2. Bacardi Orange: Flavored Rum, a favorite of the North American Black Panted Slut.

3. Bacardi Limon: Whatever the hell they put in this Rum it isn't lemon and it only makes it taste like ass. Not that I'm saying Bacardi is good Rum, but as a Rum drinking leave a perfectly fine shot of Rum alone, don't make it worse with whatever "Limon" pretends to be.

4. Tanqueray: I like this shot because it tastes like pine trees and made the bartender all worried that I was going to puke. Four shots... people are so paranoid.

5. Blood Brain: I hate Grenadine, it's cheap cherry concentrate used to sterilize Jews during World War 2. This whole shot I was only hating the fact I was about to drink Grenadine, but it is a pretty mild shot once you get passed that.

6. Prarie Fire: This is a legendary shot in West Lafayette and is often heavily altered by local bars to include: Peppers (juice), Hot damn 151, Pepper, nearly all Tabasco, and any other assortment of ingredients found around the 4th ring of hell. Not being in West Lafayette at the time it was still hot as hell and lingered for about 20 minutes, but at least I didn't go blind like usual.

7. Cement Mixer: (Baily's Irish Cream & Lime Juice) That combination curdles the Irish Cream into a thick paste. This WILL make you puke if you do it too late in the night as it almost automatically kicks in the gag reflex.

8. Stoli: Favorite Vodka behind Skyy, of course I was going to shoot it.

9. Absolute Citron: See: 3. Bacardi Limon

10. Romana Sambura & 11. "Drink it biatch": I don't really remember these shots. The long islands were kicking in and I had been drinking beer for about 3 hours. The bar closed about 2 minutes afterwards so we were on hold for the next 10 hours.

Second 12 Hours

12. Rumplemen's: I think people who actually try to taste Brandy drink this or something, all tastes like bad liquor to me.

13. Black Haus: This tastes EXACTLY like Blavod Black Vodka. Now we know the secret of the black vodka, they just repackaged this.

14. Dead Nazi: This was one of my favorite shots. It not only looks like a bloody dead nazi, it tastes like something that had to come from Germany. I have no idea how you assign a taste to Germany, but if NyQuil can taste like the color Green, then this shot tastes like Germany.

15. Boilermaker: A little more than a shot, but it's school tradition and we just lost the Bucket to IU making it a necessity.

16. Ground Zero: Kammasutra and I have no memory of this ever occurring, it's not an exact science.

17. 3 Wise men (Jim, Jack, Jose): I do remember this one. Quite possibly the most repugnant and outright nasty concoction of mule, horse, and donkey urine somebody high on Windex in Tijuana thought about combining and conned people into drinking.

18. Russian Quaalude: Also known as Russian Candy, I couldn't stop thinking about the name of this drink. Needless to say nobody ended up putting out to a Russian so all went as planned

19. Liquid Cocaine: Every time I have had this drink it has been something different served in a variety of glasses ranging from martini to shot. I have no idea what is in any of these and they do serve one purpose, to taste horrid and get you really intoxicated.

20. Dr. Pepper Depth Charge: This shot entailed dropping whiskey into a glass of more whiskey and it strangely going down tasting like Dr. Pepper. Makes you wonder what it tastes like coming back up.

22-24. Stoplight: 3 shots all in a row, green-yellow-red.

* Green Light Shot: 3 parts Vodka, 1 part Pucker
* Yellow Light Shot: 3 parts Vodka, 1 part Pineapple Juice
* Red Light Shot: 3 parts Vodka, 1 part Grenadine

Looks pretty, goes down hard.


25. 24 Carat Nightmare: It's pure black with gold chips floating in it. This being the last shot I have vague memories of being able to lift my head above the bar, and I'm sure it tasted like a corpse floating in a vat of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
 
2002-08-27 12:33:56 AM
I was a suitemate with a heavy drinker during my freshman year of college. He invited my friends and I to accompany him to a Rugby team party; the team at South Carolina being quite renowed for their drinking and parties. I had just turned 18, had never had a drink in my life, and was understandably excited at the prospects of drinking. After 4 cups of Miller Lite from the keg I was off my ass drunk. I proceeded to tell my friend Tob that he had pretty hair, admit to my friend Anna I was "madly in love" with her. Much to my friends' delight, I then began to rant about Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and lamented that I wish I could have polio so I could sit in a wheelchair. Eventually I passed out behind a fence, when I awoke Tob took me away from the party to pee. I repeatedly warned him "not to look at my wang" and enjoyed my first good drunken piss.
 
2002-08-27 12:34:38 AM
Now with voting! (not like it matters)

I was a suitemate with a heavy drinker during my freshman year of college. He invited my friends and I to accompany him to a Rugby team party; the team at South Carolina being quite renowed for their drinking and parties. I had just turned 18, had never had a drink in my life, and was understandably excited at the prospects of drinking. After 4 cups of Miller Lite from the keg I was off my ass drunk. I proceeded to tell my friend Tob that he had pretty hair, admit to my friend Anna I was "madly in love" with her. Much to my friends' delight, I then began to rant about Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and lamented that I wish I could have polio so I could sit in a wheelchair. Eventually I passed out behind a fence, when I awoke Tob took me away from the party to pee. I repeatedly warned him "not to look at my wang" and enjoyed my first good drunken piss.
 
2002-08-27 12:43:13 AM
 
2002-08-27 12:49:33 AM
Long story short,
after a long night of drinking, 8-10 of us decide it is a good idea to go for a bike ride in a city park, decide to take off ahead of everyone else along the path, remember hitting a tree, showed up back at my friends house with deep scrapes all over, almost half tore off my ear. Everyone laughing at me as I repeat many times, "I hit the tree and the tree won". Couple friends took me to the hospital where the nurse thought I had got into a fight. Went back to the park looking for my glasses, found them along with some bloodstains on a small bridge. Apparently the tree haddn't done the damage, the face skid on the bridge did it.
Unfortuntately, there are pics to confirm.
 
2002-08-27 02:31:22 AM
hehe i love those passed out on the ground pictures =)
 
2002-08-27 02:51:27 AM
How in the FARK did Pepperjack win this??

rat bastards. The lot of ya.

That's why I love you all.

Sweater Girlleaves conflicted
 
2002-08-27 02:56:58 AM
Night of drinking. Stupid things happened. Woke up in the hospital with a confirmed BAC of 0.397. Half of all people with this die. Not to be one who falls off the horse and refuses to get back on, I went out two nights later.

Not funny stupid. Stupid stupid. God must like me or something, cause I'm still here.
 
2002-08-27 03:50:53 PM
Second year of college. Cheap beer and crappy vodka were had in abundance. At some point, we decided that we were tired of listening to Joe whine about his now-ex-girlfriend. Plied Joe with mass quantities of alcohol until he passed out. Drove over to now-ex-girlfriend's aparment complex and located her car (Joe talks WAY too much when he's drunk, and will answer ANY question). Stripped Joe naked, and tied his hands and feet to cinder blocks. Placed Joe spread-eagle on hood of now-ex-girlfriend's car. Wrote "I love you Janet" on his chest in Cheeze Wiz. Left him there for her to find in the morning. She was not amused, and he was kind of angry.
 
2002-08-27 03:52:21 PM
I was giggling so hard remembering the above, I forgot to enable voting.
 
2002-09-05 11:11:30 PM
The memorys bring pain, I pray this grants me release...

'Twas a long ago night, and, as was my habit, I broke up with my girlfriend.
We went on our seperate ways, strived for our seperate lays.

This, then, is my story.

Having driven my POS Chevy to the lubricating spot, I imbibed. And imbibed some more.
Before you could say Jack Robinson, were you so inclined, I found myself slightly intoxicated, and, having no luck with the ladies, decided to go home and make my own.
Luck, that is, not ladies (weird science anyone?).
Well, in my unfortunate condition, I did not notice someone had let the gate of my pickup down. I furthermore pretended not to notice when the aforementioned gate punched assorted holes in the guy who was parked (way too closely) behind me.
In this situation, my alcohol fueled mind insisted I drive away rapidly, which I did, however, life gets weird sometimes...
A guy witnessed me inadvertantly creasing his friends car's grill, and took offense.
As I drove away, he leapt into my truck bed and began pounding on the roof, windows, etc., while I sped away.
Alas, it was not to last.
Red flashing lights appeared in my rearview, and I deemed it prudent to stop.
Thanks to blatant drunkeness and some good lies, the police officer said I should drive back to the bar and settle up with the vehicle owner, and no more driving after I got back to the bar.
Well, back to the bar I go, looking for the guy whos car I hit, he aint there.
I hit it off great with his friend though, and the rounds are flying.
Ultimately, it's bar time.
Well, it's a straight shot, 2 miles, one road.
I'm drunk, who am I to question the logic?
Of course, as things go, 1/2 mile from home, I get a flat.
Do I stop? Hell no, not in my condition.
1/8 of a mile to go, and a cop notices my predicament, red lights in the rearview.
I pull over, mere blocks from home, and by sheer coincidence, across the street from my brothers house.
As the first cop started his routine, another cop showed up, the one that had almost busted me earlier.
They had a bit of a discussion, and things appeared to be somewhat cool.
Then they asked for my registration.
I opened the glove box, and out rolled as fine a baggie of pot as you could want.
Well, things got a bit hazy, but I remember them arguing about whose bust it was, and I was kinda tired.
SO, I walked across the street, knocked on my brothers door.
He woke up, opened the door and I said to him. "I don't want to go to jail, can I spend the night here?"
True brother that he was, he said "Your drunk, go home".
So, I did. As I walked the 1 1/2 blocks home, I remember seeing 5 or 6 different squad cars with searclights, while I calmly took my usual riute.
I got home passed out.
I awoke the next day to find 5 different tickets from the p.d. slipped into the mailbox of my front door.
A hefty fine resulted.

Yeah, I was young, drunk and stupid.
 
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