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(CNN)   Cop that beat up bartender in Chicago employs the Bart Simpson defense   (cnn.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine  
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24612 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2007 at 8:59 PM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



120 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2007-05-16 05:32:21 PM  
I didn't do it.
 
2007-05-16 05:33:46 PM  
He didn't do it?!?!

Then WTF was he doing? Tickling her with his fists?
 
2007-05-16 05:37:29 PM  
"It was a massage. A very forceful, angry massage."
 
2007-05-16 05:37:47 PM  
Looked consensual to me.
 
2007-05-16 05:47:21 PM  
"He's pleading not guilty because he is not guilty," Peter Hickey said after the hearing. "And we expect at the end, the conclusion of the trial, that that's what the outcome will be."

It takes some serious balls or complete lack of a moral compass to say something like this.
 
2007-05-16 06:15:06 PM  
She had alcohol on her breath so SHE was the one at fault...
 
2007-05-16 06:17:30 PM  
Did you see how she was dressed? She was asking for it.
 
2007-05-16 06:51:13 PM  
We should figure out a way for summary judgement in cases like this.

"May it please the court: The 'defendant' was shown on live television with a gun in his hand shooting the victim sixteen times in the face. The video shows six police officers jumping the man. The video shows the police holding up the gun. Forensics of the bullets taken out of the victim's face match the gun in the video."

"How do you plead?"

"Not guilty, your honor."

"NOT SO FAST...."

I mean, c'mon. This is like that thread/image meme with "JEFF: HE SEES YOU, SUBMITTER." WE SAW YOU kick the shiat out of the woman. How could you *not* be guilty?

/yes, there's a difference between "I did it" and "I am legally guilty of the crime with which I am charged." I get that.
//Still!
 
2007-05-16 09:02:06 PM  
goddamit I submited this also bastards
 
2007-05-16 09:02:16 PM  
Eat my shorts?
 
2007-05-16 09:03:34 PM  
get a rope
 
2007-05-16 09:04:17 PM  
She must have run into his fists repeatedly.
 
2007-05-16 09:04:23 PM  
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WHEN MEN ARE TALKING!
 
2007-05-16 09:05:01 PM  
If they let this dickhead go free, we need to bring back mob justice.
 
2007-05-16 09:05:16 PM  
Abbate originally faced only a misdemeanor until the footage became public.

You need someone to come in, take over your government and show you have to build real farkin justice system. Bloody banana republic.
 
2007-05-16 09:05:46 PM  
Anyone have a link to this supposed "Video seen around the world"? I haven't seen it.
 
2007-05-16 09:06:15 PM  
this is bullsh, this guy should be tortured worse than Jesus was.
 
2007-05-16 09:06:25 PM  
Should have used the Chewbacca Defense. The Chewbacca Defense always works.
 
2007-05-16 09:06:58 PM  
Don't have a cow, man.
 
2007-05-16 09:07:17 PM  
FTFA: Three other officers were scheduled to appear in the same courthouse Wednesday on charges stemming from another alleged bar fight. The officers, charged with aggravated battery, are accused of beating up four businessmen at a Chicago bar in December.

Sounds like a great group.
 
2007-05-16 09:08:11 PM  
Having no conscience doesn't make you not guilty, it just means you're not going to understand why Bubba gets to be on top.
 
2007-05-16 09:09:11 PM  
www.mmaringreport.com

This man would like a word with Officer Abbate...

/Obscure?
 
2007-05-16 09:09:22 PM  
Tonights the night that we got the truck
Were goin downtown gonna beat up drunks
Your turn to drive Ill bring the beer
Its the late, late shift no one to fear
And ride, ride how we ride
We ride, lowride

Its roundup time where the good whores meet
Gonna drag one screaming off the street

And ride, ride how we ride

Got a black uniform and a silver badge
Playin cops for real/playin cops for pay

Lets ride, lowride

Pull down your dress heres a kick in the ass
Lets beat you blue til you shiat in your pants
Dont move, child got a big black stick
Theres six of us babe, so suck on my dick

And ride, ride how we ride
Lets ride, lowride

The left newspapers might whine a bit
But the guys at the station they dont give a shiat
Dispatch calls are you doin something wicked?
No siree, jack, were just givin tickets

As we ride, ride, how we ride
Lets ride, lowride
 
2007-05-16 09:09:37 PM  
video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6E4OFEwyZs
 
2007-05-16 09:11:10 PM  
they will fry, but only because the tape was made public.

whould be nice if the system worked without having to have national coverage - guess it proves teh point that absolute power corrupts absolutely.
 
2007-05-16 09:13:03 PM  
I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! You can't prove anything!
 
2007-05-16 09:14:09 PM  
Corrupt Police = The New La Cosa Nostra
 
2007-05-16 09:15:38 PM  
I worked in Simi Valley
 
2007-05-16 09:15:49 PM  
When are cops going to learn that these days they are likely on video record just about everywhere they go?

This isn't the 1950's anymore. You can't just bust up a place when you don't get your way.
 
2007-05-16 09:15:56 PM  
It was clear to me by viewing the tape that she assulted his innconcent fists with her head...justice will prevail...also Calvin Butterball, dont think Cro Cop wants to fight anyone right now
 
2007-05-16 09:16:23 PM  
it worked,

it worked in Simi valley
 
2007-05-16 09:16:26 PM  
That pig is going to have a hard time in prison.
 
2007-05-16 09:17:09 PM  
Hungry Little Hamster

Man, Michael Moore's a mean drunk.
 
2007-05-16 09:17:49 PM  
Not serving a cop a drink?

Thats a paddlin.

"He's pleading not guilty because he is not guilty," Peter Hickey said after the hearing. "And we expect at the end, the conclusion of the trial, that that's what the outcome will be."

Is this attorney the same guy who used to report the battlefield news for Saddam Hussein?
 
2007-05-16 09:18:40 PM  
I would think his version of the Bart Simpson defense would be something along the lines of "cops will be cops."
 
2007-05-16 09:19:43 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l93Ixy_q93I
 
2007-05-16 09:20:30 PM  
Didn't see the link posted earlier, sorry
 
2007-05-16 09:21:04 PM  
Darn. I thought the Bart Simpson defense was: "It was like this when I got here!"

/Why you little!...
 
2007-05-16 09:21:12 PM  
mmb1978: I would think his version of the Bart Simpson defense would be something along the lines of "cops will be cops."

Yea, I guess there are several... The first that popped in my mind was the, "I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything." -- even if red-handed. That seems to be what subby was going for.
 
2007-05-16 09:29:51 PM  
Chicago MAY be corrupt enough to let him escape punishment.

Too many lawyers there.

We'll see....
 
2007-05-16 09:32:13 PM  
"I SAID CUFFS! NOT FISTICUFFS!"
 
2007-05-16 09:33:43 PM  

Can't we all just get along?


news.bbc.co.uk

 
2007-05-16 09:41:34 PM  
The sad thing is this little prick will probably get away with it, too. The simple fact is, cops are not held to the same standards that the people who pay their salaries are. They are above the law. Think about it, NINE cops beat Rodney King, TWO did time for it. My guess is that the bar owner will be charged with some kind of crime for videotaping the cop beating the woman. The tape will be excluded from evidence and everybody goes their separate ways. Justice is served.
 
2007-05-16 09:44:34 PM  
some people have to pay GREAT money to get that kind of beating. I don't see what she's being so uppity about.
 
2007-05-16 09:45:47 PM  
fark account #265 and this is my first greenlight.
/sniff
//and yes, I DO have a computer! HA!
///good times
 
2007-05-16 09:46:06 PM  
Wow... this police department sounds sort of like "Quentin Tarantino's Reno: 911"

I hope this jackass gets the max. I'll bet there's at least a couple cons in there he roughed up that would like another shot at the title!
 
2007-05-16 09:49:48 PM  
lajimi: My guess is that the bar owner will be charged with some kind of crime for videotaping the cop beating the woman. The tape will be excluded from evidence and everybody goes their separate ways. Justice is served.

You can't be serious. How would the bar owner be charged with a crime for having a surveillance tape of his bartender getting the shiat beat out of her? What possible crime do you imagine that might be?
 
2007-05-16 09:52:25 PM  
Sounds like the Eddie Murphy defense to me...

"Wasn't me."
"I looked right in your face!"
"Wasn't me."
"Well, I'm supposed to be a fool, right?"
"Hey...Wasn't me."
You know what the woman said?
"Maybe it wasn't you."
 
2007-05-16 09:53:33 PM  
Don't you people understand, he was cleaning his fists, and boots, and they accidentally went off! It's so obvious.

// here's hoping the jerk will DIAF
// or do a little time in the big house. They loooove cops there.
 
2007-05-16 09:56:45 PM  
rds.yahoo.com
approves
 
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