"I heard a rumor on the Internet that Ashley's budding breasts were slightly larger than yours. I'd like to settle that dispute with my humble opinion right now."

"Hmmm, see ya left your golf clubs at home. Wanna grab my 9 iron?"

"Ok, after you have the brake pedal firmly pressed down, take your left foot and hit the clutch."

"Where's the clutch?"

"I was just kidding. You are blond."

"Hey baby, we got a lot in common! I wanted to be a cop but failed, and you wanted to be actresses but failed!"

Now with celebrity voting enabled.

Mary Kate: Well, you're kind of right. Women do have a thing for men in uniform...men who can FIT into their uniform.

"Lesbian incest? What's that?"

"No Mr Beer, we haven't had any occifers to drink tonight..."

Or, "I got nothing" Feh.

"You two were pulled over for excessive speeding. Please step out of the car for a thorough frisking."

"Have you seen my wiener?" Or baseball

"Ladies, you can't enter the golf course without having the right gear. But tell you what, since I'm a nice guy, I'll just let you play with my balls."

"Twins, eh? I wonder if you both feel the same on the inside..."

Will you let us off with a warning if my sister blows you?

Hey, I know you girls! I LOVED your work on those DoubleMint ads!

"I'm with the Arcata Police Department. Would you like to see my log?"

Will you let us off with a warning if my sister blows you?

You're not the only one, pig.

"Do either of you have any idea how fast you're going to do me?"

"You know I'm old enough to be your dad, but I could be your daddy."

"girls, who has 2 thumbs and likes blowjobs?"

"Well lookey here. Looks like we got TWO Britneys, and they are both still underage! Oops I did it again!"

"Oh, really nice to meet you girls. I just loved you two to death on Full House, you were so cute.
My goodness, you're almost all grown up now! That's so great! Wow, I still can't believe you are actually here.
My little girls love your movies so much. I was wondering if you could autograph this picture for me.
You will? Oh, that's so sweet. You girls are great.
You're just so cute! I can't believe it!
Okay, sign it right here, and if you would please sign it
To Steve,
who has the biggest trouser-snake we have ever seen."

"The set's straight ahead, ladies. Mr. Jeremy has been expecting you."

You heard me, Missy. I'll let you both go free if you can make me cum in your ass so hard it leaks out your sisters ears.

"Both of you at once are old enough for me!"

Not bull hockey, Bukake. Follow me back to the station and I'll show you.

Larry gets his first big break as the role of a security guard in the new Tom Cruise action flick, and gets a few pointers from the actual security guards, Mary-Kate and Ashley.

"ok, so you're not old enough yet, how old's your twin sis there ?"

Sorry VegasJ.

"And how are you two hot little pieces of ass doing today?"

"Now, ladies, its against the law around here to ride around flashing everyone like that, but I'll let it slide this time, if you do it again."

Olsen: "Officer, would you let us off if we french kiss each other?"
Office: "Uh.... .... Yeah. That'll do."

Yes, I have gained a lot of weight since the show.

No, I'm not gonna spank you the "special Uncle Joey way"!

Mary-Kate and Ashley Fuller Olsen, also referred to as the "Olsen Twins" were born on June 13, 1986 in Sherman Oaks, Los Angeles. Initially, they appear to be identical, but they're actually fraternal. Ashley, a right-hander, is the older sister by 2 minutes before leftpaw Mary-Kate

Just think of the hand job they could give me.

"No miss, panty-sniffing is a service we provide all of the female guests at Wally's World.

I need to administer a breathalizer on you, your sister can hold the "tube" while you blow on it.

"...and when you're done, say 'My, what a lovely tea party!'"

"Got any rock, got any blow? I'll suck ya dick!"

Of course one of the twins is saying this to the officer.

"Well girls, in the eyes of the law you are too young, but like I always say, if there's grass on the field, play ball. If your old enough to bleed, then you're old enough to breed."

"What? You're offering me sex to keep you from getting a ticket? Leave this golf course and never speak to me again, you perverts!"

"Do you girls know anything about browsers and the Internet? I think my browser's broken since Fark hasn't posted a new thread in, like, five hours!"

"So like, if we um, have a threesome, you won't give us a ticket?"

"See, she put chocolate in my peanut butt-ah!"
"No, Officer! She put peanut butter on my choc-oh-lit."
"B!tch! You put your chock-clit in mah pee! Nut! BUTTAH!!"
"SLUT!!! Officer, how big is yo dick?! Cuz I think......Hello?......Oh, hi Mommy.......No, we're just riding around......No this is Mary Kate!! Mom!! What is WRONG with you? Can't you even...."

ad nauseum

and the cop says, VOTE YOUR CONSCIENCE!!!

"Driver's License and Registration." haha

Cop: Ladies, want to get up close and personal to the biggest, longest truncheon on the force?
Mary-Kate: Finally, someone who ISN'T trying to get us to suck him off.
Ashley, looking at grinning cop: Waiiit....

Mary-Kate: Look, officer, our pimp says that 30 km/h (or 15 miles, whatever) is NOT going over the speed limit, and if we're giving out threesomes to get rid of tickets, you're going to have to pay.
Ashley: Ten dollars, please.