FARK.com: (2786547) 82-year old man drops shotgun-wielding robber with a head of lettuce. The gunman escaped, obviously not a salad shooter

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		82-year old man drops shotgun-wielding robber with a head of lettuce. The gunman escaped, obviously not a salad shooter (thesun.co.uk)		37
		More: Hero

• • •

5658 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2007 at 7:44 AM | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

http://fark.com/go/2786547

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

37 Comments (+0 »)

Archived thread

nih-		2007-05-07 04:36:22 AM

Everyone knows that old person + innocuous looking produce = killing machine.

The harmlessness buffer overflows and he loops all the way around to deadly.

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros		2007-05-07 05:23:35 AM

That's using your head.

rburp		2007-05-07 07:47:52 AM

Do the police not have cars there? How does a robber with a gun escape on bicycle??

spacechicken170am		2007-05-07 07:49:27 AM

When you're 82 years old and you have nothing to live for why the heck wouldn't you chuck a head of lettuce at a gun weilding a-hole.

Walker		2007-05-07 07:49:49 AM

I call shenanigans. There are no guns in the UK, so they are a safe and crime-free country.

The Mad Highlander		2007-05-07 07:51:12 AM

Muahahahahaha.
+1 Subby

ChristmasOnMars		2007-05-07 07:52:30 AM

But what do you do if someone attacks you with a banana?

Digeratus		2007-05-07 07:52:47 AM

Crazy brits. Seriously, who says "a lettuce"? A head of lettuce or a leaf of lettuce, maybe...

Bizert		2007-05-07 07:54:28 AM

It should be easy to drop a robber who has a head made of lettuce.

FuzzplugJones		2007-05-07 07:57:51 AM

The government needs to enact much stricter lettuce control laws. I saw that one Michael Moore movie, we're living in a lettuce culture and it's all George Bush's fault.

John1701q		2007-05-07 07:59:24 AM

Walker

Indeed, we all know criminals obey the law and do not carry guns.

spacechicken170am		2007-05-07 08:00:49 AM

Digeratus

Crazy brits. Seriously, who says "a lettuce"? A head of lettuce or a leaf of lettuce, maybe...

I don't know, I may have to roll with the Brits on this one. I mean a "head of lettuce" wtf, is there a body of lettuce somewhere. If were talking about the whole plant I don't see why we would give it a name that designates it as a part. Until I see a body of lettuce I'm going to give this one to the Brits.

thepostess		2007-05-07 08:01:51 AM

groan subby, groan.

From the comments at the bottom of TFA:

OAP foils gun raid with lettuce

Lettuce be thankful for those such as he. Well done that man, the spirit that made Gt Britain great. He has courage and guts, unlike the snivelling cowardly gun-wielding so and so that he belted with the lettuce. Gunman ran away from a lettuce, ha, ha, ha, ha! Crooks get more pathetic everyday.

and:

OAP foils gun raid with lettuce

One last comment: He's the fastest lettuce in the west.

lolz

LaMigra		2007-05-07 08:04:06 AM

"...postmistress..."

Cracks me up that we claim to speak English on both sides of the Atlantic. Postmistress sounds like the woman after I left my wife.

Onkel Buck		2007-05-07 08:06:47 AM

praxis44241		2007-05-07 08:07:15 AM

Lettuces don't kill people. 82-year olds with lettuces kill people.

/This message was brought to you by the National Lettuce Association.
//What, no salad-tossing comnents yet? You Farkers are slacking off...

DerangedGoblin		2007-05-07 08:17:54 AM

I came for the salad tossing jokes or at least some notice that there could be some. If it weren't for praxis, I would be disappointed.

MyNameIsMofuga		2007-05-07 08:19:59 AM

Honestly, who throws lettuce at the post office?

apeiron242		2007-05-07 08:21:19 AM

praxis44241

"Lettuces don't kill people. 82-year olds with lettuces kill people."

You beat me to it. Was going to post that exact joke. Damn.

John1701q

Take a look at the murder rates in the UK compared to those of the US. Unless you're afraid of losing your ignorance. Black guys have bigger dicks than white guys, get over it. They get to be cool and have big dicks, we get to have all the money and power. That's the deal. Having a .357 strap on won't change that.

revskippy		2007-05-07 08:27:42 AM

So his cuisine reigned supreme?

>>biting large bell pepper for effect

geniusiknowit		2007-05-07 08:28:36 AM

As I only get my gun facts from the movies, I'm fairly certain that gun had "REPLICA" stamped into the side.

interruptive_cow		2007-05-07 08:42:28 AM

Bizert: It should be easy to drop a robber who has a head made of lettuce.

Why? Is lettuce slippery? Does this make him hard to hold on to?

/Get it? Cos ure dr0ppin im lololololololol?

crankychick		2007-05-07 08:43:47 AM

"The best form of defence is attack - so I did. I clobbered him twice."

Good on ya, Mr. Smith. Alway love to see a story that combines brave people and an original use for produce.

anjin-san		2007-05-07 09:01:18 AM

ChristmasOnMars: But what do you do if someone attacks you with a banana?

That's just silly

omega-x		2007-05-07 09:16:26 AM

I bet they're glad they disarmed all those criminals!

meekychuppet		2007-05-07 09:23:57 AM

You can have my lettuce when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

jaylectricity		2007-05-07 09:33:02 AM

Due to his IBS his wife refused to toss his salad anymore.

Being from the good old days he bucked up and said, "Somebody's gotta do it."

bearded clamorer		2007-05-07 10:09:45 AM

I prefer the stopping power of a cabbage.

Fark Lord of the Sith		2007-05-07 10:40:43 AM

What about a pointed stick?

binnster		2007-05-07 10:53:30 AM

Walker

I call shenanigans. There are no guns in the UK...

My dad's fully stocked gun cabinet would like a word with you. Yeah, I was surprised it could talk too.

Bschott007		2007-05-07 10:55:03 AM

Bullet Tooth Tony:...You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun, and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five Oh" written down the side of mine should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... fark off!

Bschott007		2007-05-07 10:59:35 AM

Old Man From the Article:...You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun, and the fact that I've got "Iceberg Brand" written down the side of my lettuce should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... fark off!

DROxINxTHExWIND		2007-05-07 11:10:06 AM

And I'm going to post what I always post in these threads.

He is a lying old bastard who fell off of the toilet trying to reach his Pall Mall without putting his newspaper down. He touched the lit end of the cigarette, knocked his glass of vodka off of the sink and when he jumped up, his worn slippers did not give him enough traction and he slipped in the booze, hitting his head on the side of the tub, which knocked him unconscious. Then he got up and dreamed up this story because his dementia would be JUST what his son's evil biatch of a wife would need to convince the family that Pop needed to be dropped off at Shady Pines. Then, that biatch would sell his house and dip into his savings like a ladle in a punch bowl, leaving him to rot in that horrific home where the nurses believe in corporal punishment for rules violations.

dave420		2007-05-07 12:34:10 PM

I'm not too worried about criminals having guns to commit robberies. They rarely use them, and only have them to scare people. I'm more worried about well-meaning people with guns going crazy and killing a bunch of people. For that reason not being able to buy guns on every street corner is a good thing, to me at least. When someone flips out, being around a device that can kill many people, at range, very easily probably isn't a great thing.

nickerj1		2007-05-07 01:02:41 PM

Q: What type of armed robber lets himself get struck TWICE by flying lettuce coming from an 82 year old man?

A: The kind that uses a bicycle as an escape vehicle and robs fish farms.