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(Some Guy)   Strip club plans foiled by eerily quiet parrot shop   (houston-press.com) divider line 33
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10496 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2007 at 8:45 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2007-05-06 05:41:31 AM
"A case involving issues of first impression usually is difficult for a court to decide," he says.

That's for damn sure.
 
2007-05-06 05:55:43 AM
ARGH. Why pjorn instead of "fjords" in the Monty Python citations? Shoddy work from Mr. Parikh--or was he being sly?
 
2007-05-06 08:51:45 AM
Where are the parrots?
 
2007-05-06 08:53:59 AM
why don't they buy the building if it's been up for sale, then knock it down?
 
2007-05-06 08:55:58 AM
How disappointing. That story had very little to do with parrots!
 
2007-05-06 09:04:10 AM
smadge1
why don't they buy the building if it's been up for sale, then knock it down?

Exactly my thought! It's probably cheaper than all those legal fees.
 
2007-05-06 09:08:47 AM
It is no more, it has ceased to be, it's expired and gone to meet its maker. It's kicked the bucket, shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible.

How can the article quote John Cleese's famous monologue and not add the punchline?!? "This is an EX-parrot shop!"
 
2007-05-06 09:15:54 AM
This thread is rated i155.photobucket.com
 
2007-05-06 09:23:14 AM
Ok aside from being a tediously long article I'm with those that say buy & demolish the building. Find another place. By the looks of the picture its not really going to be a classy place so you might as well make it a little nicer...oh and theres the smell.
 
2007-05-06 09:35:49 AM
FTFA:
The ordinance in question states - pretty clearly, it seems - that any residence within 1,500 feet of a proposed club must have been occupied or operating for at least 30 days before the SOB application is filed.
And:
In other words, the barn-like building is for sale, as it has been for a couple of years with no takers.

It would seem to me that the 30 days has been up for a "couple of years"...

When all is said and done they should sue the sheriff (and/or his office) to recoup their legal fees.

I hate the abuse of the U.S. legal system for monetary gain, but these people deserve to recoup as they are obviously getting screwed illegally.
 
2007-05-06 09:55:01 AM
Passed by that "barn" several times over the years. Always thought of it as front-end for illegal parrot smuggling - with no proof other than it was close to Mexico/South America.

And "WebWorld" as a name for a strip joint? Will the girls be wearing red/blue bodypaint and shoot white, sticky, uh...... never mind.
 
2007-05-06 09:59:47 AM
I must say, that headline was a long string of words each more unexpected than the previous.

Good thing there was an article to explain it.

/not complaining
 
2007-05-06 10:09:29 AM
Why are their pictures of neither strippers nor parrots in this thread?
 
2007-05-06 10:19:20 AM
Hey, this is 2 miles from my house! Always hated the dead-parrot shop. They haven't sold a parrot in 10 years at least,k and I have never seen anyone live there. This is major BS, and I'm not just saying that because I want strippers close to my house.
 
2007-05-06 10:44:12 AM
A lap dance is so much better when the parrot is crying.
 
2007-05-06 11:19:14 AM
Pan_paniscus, I noticed that too--he was being sly. There's no way he quoted the rest of Cleese's monologue correctly ("It is no more, it has ceased to be, it's expired and gone to meet its maker..." etc.) without knowing full well that the correct word was fjords.
 
2007-05-06 11:33:17 AM
Where are all the Fark libertarian-tards? The city ordinance is clearly a violation of your right to use your land however you want. I usually disagree with libertarians on land use type stuff, but it seems to me that strip clubs don't interfere with other people unless those people go inside.
 
2007-05-06 11:36:20 AM
The writer is obviously a Farker... or geeky enough to be at any rate.
 
2007-05-06 11:38:05 AM

Did anyone else read this and think of "The Company of Dunces" with it's stripper-operated parrot? Kill two birds with one stone, I say - move the strip club into the bird shop, use the birds in the act, make a million. Job complete.


Note: no good responses for GIS for "parrot porn".

 
2007-05-06 12:07:19 PM
TFA: He managed to get rid of some, but not all, of the potential jurors who said they hated strip clubs for being godless homes to predators and perverts.

Hey, we predators and perverts gotta go somewhere...
 
Kat [TotalFark]
2007-05-06 12:17:45 PM
AliasUndercover you should round up some friends and protest against the parrot shop or for the strip club, or both for that matter.

Maybe the strippers could wear parrots on their shoulders.

EVERYBODY WINS!


/I too wonder why they haven't bought the parrot shop.
//There is a lack of good parrot shops around these days.
 
2007-05-06 12:22:18 PM
jevb007

Where are all the Fark libertarian-tards? The city ordinance is clearly a violation of your right to use your land however you want. I usually disagree with libertarians on land use type stuff, but it seems to me that strip clubs don't interfere with other people unless those people go inside.

You've never lived by a strip-club.

That said, this is a ridiculous abuse of the law.
 
2007-05-06 12:25:13 PM
Anyone want to join me in buying up the building and turning it into a warehouse for selling sex toys. Something that would therefore have no intent to be a residence, and would piss off the local coonts no end.

It seems to me that these sorts of ordnances are there for a good reason - peaceful co-existence. I think most people would find a rule like it not being near a school as acceptable. Shiat, I bet the guy himself thinks that's fine too.

But this is just abusing the law for someone's personal beliefs.
 
2007-05-06 01:39:42 PM
Adult book store in my home town recently go dragged through the courts. It's been there for 12 years without incident, 5 miles away from the high school (Zoning says 4, so he's in compliance). 3 years ago, township built a new school 3 blocks from it & then fined him heavily for operating within a school zone. Took the guy over 2 years, but he got a grandfather clause to continue operating where he is.

Stupid, ridiculous, sexually-repressed morons--what's the big deal about a strip club or an adult book store? And if anyone feels like answering that rhetorical question, feel free. Difficulty: No knee-jerk reactionary tut-tutting. If you have a valid, documented court case of child predation, murders, or other violent crime being committed as a direct result of the existence of that type of establishment, go ahead & enlighten me.
 
2007-05-06 01:54:20 PM
iccky
You've never lived by a strip-club.

Elaboration?
 
2007-05-06 02:12:33 PM
I'm surprised nobody's posted this yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvyrzQldOKE

(might not be quite what you're expecting)
 
2007-05-06 03:24:27 PM
cabinderada

I think you mean "Confederacy of Dunces." That was my first thought, too.
 
2007-05-06 04:24:03 PM
farkeruk: Anyone want to join me in buying up the building and turning it into a warehouse for selling sex toys.

No thanks. Selling sex toys is illegal in Texas. The locals might get pissy but you'd end up in jail. You might want to leave your personal toybox home if you ever visit Texas, for that matter. The way the law is written just having more than six toys in your possession is intent to distribute.
 
2007-05-06 04:39:02 PM
this was the first time I've seen an article on FARK that I had already read in print
 
2007-05-06 04:44:57 PM
...all shagged out after a long squalk...

/he he...shagged
 
2007-05-06 05:12:20 PM
darrouzet-nardi.net

/obscure ?
 
Ni
2007-05-06 08:57:47 PM
Heck, now I'm pining for the pjorn!
 
2007-05-06 08:59:47 PM
Nice CoD reference, loller90278.
 
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