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		What is the scariest experience you've had while flying? LGN (google.com)		376
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RubyRed		2007-05-04 11:32:10 PM

RobertBruce: So....Wanna get married?

The ones that used to fly me where ever I wanted are dead. The rest are assmonkeys. I won't ask them. I have a complicated family, not unusual.

FlyingPig		2007-05-04 11:33:16 PM

None. I've jumped out of a plane, and liked it.

Go skydiving, you farkin' pussy.

HickPrincess		2007-05-04 11:33:52 PM

Some little Spanish airliner, no longer in business, had all manner of trouble getting the cabin pressured correctly, so we all sounded like we were talking into a fan. That is, if you could hear at all.
y banged her head on the ceiling, and then fell on some seats. I was belted in and glad I wasn't trying to serve dinner as she had been. (It was a disaster.)

Flying through/around a thunderhead is exciting. One particular storm I was sure we were going to die. My best friend and I held hands the whole flight and told one another goodbye -- it was a really scary flight with a couple of massive drops in altitude.

HickPrincess		2007-05-04 11:34:40 PM

OK, I bumped the mouse and lost the part about the flight attendant making hard contact with the ceiling of the plane.

Messy.

RobertBruce		2007-05-04 11:39:37 PM

RubyRed: The rest are assmonkeys

flying assmonkeys woohoo!!

E-Brake		2007-05-04 11:42:16 PM

When I was 4 my plane from LAX to PA took off and blew an engine. We circled, dumped fuel and made an emergency landing. I was flying alone and remember putting my head between my legs, thinking it was all a game.

And yeah flying in or out of Vegas (or Phoenix) is not fun, that desert heat causes mad turbulence.

hoots_toot_ochaye		2007-05-04 11:42:26 PM

It's not a scary experience per se, because I wasn't actually scared at the time - even though I should have been.

I was in a Cessna 210, flying from Whitehorse in the Yukon Territory, to Beaver Creek, Canada's most westerly community. We were flying at about 10,000 ft. because that's how high we had to get up in the air for the temperature in the cabin to feel comfortable (it was a very hot, humid, summer afternoon).

All of a sudden the plane goes for this unbelievable roller-coaster ride through the air. By the time my friend (the pilot) got the aircraft under control, we had lost approximately 5,000 ft in altitude. He looked over at me to see how I was faring, and I had this great big smile on my face - his looked a bit grim at the time, I recall. He asked my how I was, and I just said to him, "Can we go back and do that one over again, that was fun."

He was, to say the least, taken aback by it all. I guess I just had more guts than sense at the time. It wasn't until a couple of years later when I was taking Aviation Ground School classes that I realized we had really been in danger that day.

By the way, his Cessna 210 is the very first Cessna 210 to ever come off the production line - there's pictures of it in several of Cessna's books and PR releases. Her name is Mathilda, and she resides in Beaver Creek, in the Yukon Territory.

Dr.Knockboots		2007-05-04 11:45:27 PM

C-130 .. combat landing.. nuff said.

Old_Chief_Scott		2007-05-04 11:45:38 PM

Hiya h_t_o! Long time no see.

Trolley_Dolly		2007-05-04 11:47:37 PM

Aw, GREEN? NO f*cking way. shiat.

I didn't rally blow any pilots. Not in the flight deck, that's for DAMN sure (no room).

antialias		2007-05-04 11:48:31 PM

It's always the threads where I tell the biggest lies that get greenlit.

Chucklz		2007-05-04 11:48:34 PM

RubyRed

Assmonkeys or Assclowns?

Details are important.

tyguy101aa		2007-05-04 11:48:52 PM

I was on a rinky dink plane in israel going from the town of elat(sp?) to tel aviv. it was large enough that they had drink service and shiat, but small and old enough to creep me the hell out. so right after take off what appears to be smoke starts pouring out of the airvents all over the plane. i was shiatting my pants. turns out it was just water vapor and that the cbin pressurization system on old planes let that happen. but damn was i scared.

hoots_toot_ochaye		2007-05-04 11:49:02 PM

Hiya back, Old_Chief_Scott.

Best place to find me these days is in the Photoshop Forum. We get into all kinds of mischief over there.

So, Chiefy Baby, when you gonna learn you some HTML so you can at least do some emboldening and italicizing?

Sapient		2007-05-04 11:51:57 PM

DC to Roanoke in a thunderstorm. Turbulence like crazy. Everyone around me was puking. I'm saying the Hail Mary. Never flew that route again. Didn't puke either but I swear, everyone else was. The smell alone....

JulietaBorboleta		2007-05-04 11:53:14 PM

My worst was an aborted takeoff, the only time I've experienced one. I kept thinking the plane should lift off any second, then it slammed back down and came to a nice screechy stop.
I hate flying and would have freaked out, except I was sitting next to a 9 year old girl traveling by herself, so I had to pretend to be a rational, sane human being. That was probably the hardest part.

Trolley_Dolly		2007-05-04 11:56:33 PM

And to any of you crybabies biatching about landing at Burbank or Chicago Midway, those are really short runways, so that's why you get to experience the "cargo plane" style landing. It wasn't a one-time thing - they ALWAYS land like that there.

And SouthWest pilots all taxi way too fast.

MasterThief		2007-05-04 11:57:06 PM

I actually can't remember the last time I was ever scared on an airplane.

I guess it helps that I grew up with an ex-Air Force Dad who would explain everything that happens on a plane and why a crash was basically impossible, and would then promptly fall asleep. On every single flight, no matter how bad the turbulence. (Strangely reassuring.) He says that if he could navigate straight through a typhoon, everything else is nothing.

Dr.Knockboots: C-130 .. combat landing.. nuff said.

He probably did a few of those too.

Old_Chief_Scott		2007-05-04 11:58:29 PM

Trolley_Dolly-

I think that comment is WHY it went green! Also, I've heard that you are quite the flexible little minx, so that flight deck denial doesn't go too far with me.

h_t_o-

Now why would I want to learn HTML? I'm trying to communicate the story completely with words alone, remember?

TommyymmoT		2007-05-05 12:00:39 AM

I was in the bathroom with a copy of Penthouse, trying join the "Mile High Club", when the friction set that lousy store brand vaseline on fire.

blueswoman		2007-05-05 12:01:53 AM

getting stuck in atlanta for 24 hours and being told i was on standby but then getting bumped to the bottom of standby after spending 10 frigging hours in hartzfield.

watching the retro engine thingies pop back to slow down a DC-10 or something after that one crashed in detroit (chicago?) back in the '80's. i gasped, everybody in the plane gasped, then they realized what scared me and they all laughed at me.

or this one:

blowing THREE tires on takeoff from denver stapleton while holding my 3 month old daughter. pilot had to slam on the brakes to stop by the end of the runway. she almost flew out of my arms. plane taxi'd back to the terminal but they tried to change tires while we were on it.

meanwhile, holding my daughter like that to keep her from flying out of my arms, caused her to poop stinky runny baby shiat and i had to change her diaper on the tray table (no room in the bathroom to change a baby). everybody pretty much loved me on that plane. i think that's why they eventually (after about an hour) let us change planes, and NOT because of the tires thingie.

My Corgi is teh awesome		2007-05-05 12:04:26 AM

antialias
It's always the threads where I tell the biggest lies that get greenlit.

It's always the threads where I have nothing interesting to say that get greenlit.

Uhhh I was on this one flight from Australia, and the plane crashed on this wierd island...and there were monsters and has-been primetime stars...

/nuthin.

Trolley_Dolly		2007-05-05 12:07:39 AM

Old_Chief_Scott

I think that comment is WHY it went green! Also, I've heard that you are quite the flexible little minx, so that flight deck denial doesn't go too far with me.

Haha, no way, man. Have you ever seen the flight deck on a CRJ200? There's barely room for two pilots and a two cups of coffee. Everything else is buttons and switches.

Mile-high jokes were always answered with a withering stare. Our lavs were so small, if a fatty went in there they inevitably rang the call button with their ass when turning around to sit on the can.

blueswoman		2007-05-05 12:08:08 AM

small planes? the last time i flew with my dad, who had been a pilot for years: his takeoff scared the living shiat out of us and i was sure he was going to stall out 200 feet past the runway. he salvaged it, but scared the crap out of my kids (not literally this time) so bad that my son didn't want to go back up with him after he landed in joplin. eventually he agreed to get back in the plane, but then when he landed back in parsons, he came in too short and slammed us down on the runway. it was a nightmare.

he decided to stop flying after that trip, literally, because he realized he could have killed his daughter and two of his grandkids (as he put it). makes me sad because he always wanted to fly, but mom never would let him when we were growing up; when they finally could afford it, it was getting too old.

Mr. Fuzzypaws		2007-05-05 12:10:53 AM

I'm f*cking scared of cars. All flights are hell for me.

AntiNorm		2007-05-05 12:14:36 AM

submitter: What is the scariest experience you've had while flying?

When they opened the door and told me to get out.

_/skydiver

ohiopyro		2007-05-05 12:24:08 AM

flying into Tegucigalpa Honduras. we were just over the tree line, almost completely sideways. we hit runway(which is probably the shortest one i have ever seen) and stop about 100 feet from the end of the runway. scary as shiat

poorjon		2007-05-05 12:27:03 AM

Surprise buttsecks. Never flying BrownStar again

totalsecurity		2007-05-05 12:28:03 AM

It wasn't the flying, it was the crashing into the ground.

But I never got scared, even the time the Jumpmaster came around and said "We're probably gonna crash! When the ramp comes down, run to the trees!" Our C-130 hit very hard, bounced, and I found out later one wingtip touched the ground. It's hard to run with a parachute on ones back, a reserve in the front, a full rucksack between ones legs, etc. but I ran. I should have waited until the plane stopped.

Another time we were flying into Ft. Richardson in a small plane. The instrument lights had been knocked out, but the radio still worked. Didn't matter, because someone had turned off the lights and no one was in the tower. After circling a few times in the dark, the Sgt. Major said "No problem, I've landed here lots of times. Just read off the altitude and airspeed with this flashlight."

Just before we 'landed' he yells "OH SH*T!" and we hit so hard the left-side door is ripped off. He keeps it together, and we park the plane and recover the door, thinking it's best to keep it quiet. He had landed way to the left, which is where they pile the snow. Better than landing to the right, which is where the Blackhawks were parked. We both walked around with sore backs for a week after that.

I have a few more, but that's enough for now.

Smallpoxer		2007-05-05 12:32:15 AM

Same thing as Dr.Knockboots, C130, combat landing. Oh, and if you don't know what it is...

Imagen a C130 Hercules. Imagen it cruising at 20.000 Ft. All the sudden out of nowhere, you see the load master strap himself the fark down. He starts praying. You have NO idea what is about to happen.
The C130's nose goes STRAIGHT down. You are free falling. Anything not strapped down, is flying around. You are praying for death, this is some scary sh*t people. You realize, you will hit the ground any second now. All the sudden the plane starts to level out, and when it does so, EVERYTHING creaks and make a noise. The wings are about to be torn off, you swear they are. And all the sudden you hear the wheels touch down. And then scream, as the breaks are applied.
You are safe, and now have to run out of the back of the plane as it barely slows down to let you out. Oh, and your bowls are evacuated.

Welcome to Tusla Airport motherfarkers.

DarthBrooks		2007-05-05 12:32:43 AM

August 1, 1990. Afternoon flight.

Pan Am 747-100. 37,000 feet up.

We were over the "N" in "ATLANTIC" from JFK to Heathrow, just starting the in-flight movie ("Hunt for Red October") when there was this huge THUMP THUMP THUMPing noise coming from the left side of the plane. A few of the passengers on the port side lifted their window shades, just in time to see 3/4 OF THE SKIN OF THE WING PEEL OFF.

Hold your left hand out, palm down. Now turn your hand and bring it down like you're going to karate-chop your desk.

That's what the 747 did.

We dropped from 37,000 ft to 2,200 ft in three minutes.

The plane was making that SKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE sound you *never* want to hear a plane make.

Through the cloud banks we went. NO SIGN OF STOPPING. Down, Down, Down. And my only control over the environment was the volume control on my headphones.

Finally we levelled off. I could look out the window and see WHITECAPS of the Atlantic, like we were in a very tall boat.

Ten minutes, and no word from the captain.

The flight crew came down the little spiral staircase with green Boeing binders, and began looking out the port windows, taking inventory of what was left of the left wing. Then, they marched back upstairs.

About five minutes later, there was an announcement:

"Uh, this is your Captain speaking. As you probably may have guessed, we've experienced some trouble with the wing. In talking with our Engineers back in New York, we're pretty sure we're not going to make Heathrow."

[long long pause]

"We're going to try for Shannon. That's about three hours and fifty minutes in front of us. We'll get back to you as soon as we have more information."

[long pause]

"Shannon's in Ireland."

So we made it, after "assuming the position", and taking a VERY long right turn to line up with the runway. After we landed, we looked out the window as to what seems like every piece of fire equipment in Ireland lined up on the runway.

The next day, Saddam invaded Kuwait, so we got bumped off the news pages. Would have been a front page story, though.

I don't worry about "what's it like to be in a plane crash?" any more because, short of actually crashing, I know what it feels like.

cmunic8r99		2007-05-05 12:44:28 AM

Smallpoxer: C130, combat landing

more of those than i care to remember.

and a coupla approach/landings in a Blackhawk that made me glad I was wearing body armor.

totalsecurity		2007-05-05 12:48:46 AM

Weaver95

Never flew on chopper. EA-3Bs and P-3 Orions, as well as the occasional C-130 ferry. I hear they're fun tho - NOE sounds like fun!

It's fun, but seemingly every building in Air Assault School has posters of choppers that caught a powerline, tree, or something else and crashed.

Didn't exactly boost my confidence. On time we were practicing "False Insertions". That's when the chopper pretends to land in one place, then NOE's over to another spot where we actually get out. As the chopper is taking off, one rotor clips a tree. I heard they got it back, but I thought *Phew*, sucks to be them.

daywin		2007-05-05 01:01:28 AM

Running off the runway into Tampa Bay, Yes there were drugs and alcohol involved. At least we made the local newspaper. 15 minutes of fame and all.

StormChaser		2007-05-05 01:09:35 AM

"Hey man, if one of the engines goes out, how far will the other one take us?"

"All the way to the scene of the crash! Which is pretty lucky, because that's where we're headed! I bet we beat the paramedics by a good half hour!

TommyymmoT		2007-05-05 01:10:41 AM

So anyway, I was on the road for a few years (with a bunch of bands) and took alot of flights.

We discovered one of the secrets of the universe.
Be very nice, and very accomodating to the flight attendants.

Be polite, remember their names, offer them tickets, autographs, and "sure, he'd love to meet you".
It really goes a long way.

Fight from San Diego to NYC, very early.

Being we all smoked, we thought several Bloody Marys and nicotine patches, and some other stuff before time would help us all get to NY in relative comfort.

The ascent out of San Diego was so steep, it felt like a rocket launch, and about 3 of us were just saying "WEEEEE".

An hour later, breakfast. We're just trying to stay awake.
I ordered the "omelet", which came with mellon balls.

I asked the drummer (who looked like Wesley Snipes) next to me (we were very good friends) "melon balls? who the the hell balls melons?"

Next up: Extreme turbulence, the worst I've ever seen.
Breakfast was everywhere, but we found it rather enjoyable.
I made jokes about his watermellon omelot being just like mom used to make.

Anyway, I looked across the aisle, and a particularly rude to the attendants type, well dressed woman who had let her corn flakes go soggy, and was eating them very close to the face, was now wearing them.

It looked like a pie in the face.
I was trying so hard to not burst out laughing (bear in mind everyone else but us, is terrified) that I just looked out the window, but still couldn't contain myself.

The flight attendants thought I was inconsolable with fear, when actually, I was laughing at Groucho Marx in the $3000 suit over there, wearing her breakfast, threatening to sue.

Afterwards, when I told them what they thought I was crying about, they brought me a Bloody Mary, without asking, which cracked me up all over again.

Then, I fell asleep while reading the LA Times on the tray table, and woke up with news print on my forehead.

On the way off the plane:
"Anybody got a mirror?"
"Why?"
"I was thinking about reading The Times off of Tom's forehead".

helchose		2007-05-05 01:12:09 AM

JFK to Vegas. Hit some storm bands over Ohio or something and the plane must have dropped 200' in 2 seconds. Everyone gasped. Some of the luggage compartments popped open and stuff fell out. That was fun!

stevie1der		2007-05-05 01:16:41 AM

Coming into Dulles, we're in a holding pattern for about twenty minutes due to heavy traffic. We go to land, landing gear down, we get about a twenty feet from the runway then the pilot just pulls up all of a sudden and we resume holding. Never got an explanation for that.

Lost Ranger		2007-05-05 01:17:17 AM

smitty's mom.

/obligatory
// shocked. SHOCKED that it hadn't been said.

Kat		2007-05-05 01:18:35 AM

I once had a pilot come over the intercom and say something along the lines of "We're going to have to do a very rarely used landing technique, but...dont worry...because we do it all the time...buckle up."

I was 12 and sitting there going, "that made no sense, no sense at all."

Omegamerc		2007-05-05 01:19:10 AM

I was in the pattern to land maybe 3rd of 4th in line and tower frantically calls my tail number, my instructor didn't catch the message at all, but I was positive we had been called so I told him to call back tower, we were informed that we were on a collision course with another plane and to ident the plane from our right and take appropriate maneuverer. So we frantically start searching while yawing / climbing / pitching down etc... by luck(?) I identified the plane coming from our right REALLY fast so the instructor pulls up hard and we cut it really close, maybe 100ft or less from collision. Needless to say this guy got a nice talking to from tower, almost shiat my pants that day.

Jewdown		2007-05-05 01:20:25 AM

My fav..

Landing without a nose gear.

/Am a pilot
//Sure more stories to be created :)

von fapowitz		2007-05-05 01:21:12 AM

Quite honestly, I had a panic attack in a turbulent filled holding pattern above NY. It lasted about 45min Haven't flown since.

I hate flying. Not the flying aspect, but the claustrophobic aspect.

cerebulon13		2007-05-05 01:23:08 AM

Coronach		2007-05-05 01:26:17 AM

Braniff Airlines around 1989. Microburst vs 727. Dropped 1400 feet in just a few seconds. People flying around cabin, screaming, getting hurt, I even spilled my bloody mary. True story.

hachijuhachi		2007-05-05 01:27:35 AM

Is there any reason to feel completely safe while flying? I should really never read threads like this, but I always do. I'm that guy on the flight who sits there wide awake, looking around nervously, while the whole freaking plane is asleep. I hate it. I wish I could fly and not be scared to death.

/Also, I've flown into Tucson several times and never thought it was bumpy at all. I don't know how it's different from Vegas or Phoenix. Only landed in Phoenix once.

mason4300		2007-05-05 01:28:52 AM

Well, there was this one flight that started off pretty normal. Then once we were up, all of a sudden all these FARKING SNAKES ON THE FARKING PLANE WERE CRAWLING ALL OVER THE farkING PLACE, AND I WAS farkING BLOWING THEM AWAY AND ALMOST GOT MY FARKING DICK BIT OFF BY THE MOTHER farkERS!!!!

So yeah...that was a pretty scary flying experience.

M0nkeyp0x		2007-05-05 01:29:10 AM

Cessna. Water Landing.

bughunter		2007-05-05 01:30:03 AM

The time blood came out of my urethra when I went to use the lavatory, and we encountered turbulence.

Details here. [Pops. Mildly NSFW]

Aeonite		2007-05-05 01:30:23 AM

This one time I was flying from Sydney and our plane went off course. We turned back towards Bali but the plane broke apart and crashed on this uncharted island...

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