Watching my flight instructor shiat his pants when I made a really rough landing was kinda bad.

On my flight to Disney there was a gay flight attendant that was constantly asking to adjust my seat belt.

all of them. after our honeymoon, the hub says he won't fly without me being heavily medicated.

and on one of those flights, i had three drinks and a vicodin. no help.

I've never had a really bad flying experience, other than that rough takeoff out of Vegas.

Even if I did, I'd feel silly posting it. One thing I've learned on TotalFark is that there always is someone with a truly hardcore story to tell.

So, Mr. Only-Guy-to-Survive-Massive-Crash-Had-to-Eat-the-Dead Guy, come forward!

Landing at Burbank CA. As soon as the plane hits the ground everything is on reverse thrusters and you fly into the seat in front of you. When people say to put your belts on there you might want to do it.

Playing tag with a couple of SU-27's and a Bear Foxtrot on the way back from the gulf.

lost 'em in the ground clutter and vectored in a distraction while we ran our tails outta there.

We were in a box canyon hovering over the wreckage of an EA-6B when we started to get into a power settling condition. The jungle started coming up very fast and I hit the deck and grabbed a seatrail and waited for the impact.

My pilot did a tailslide and a hard 180 turn and kept us out of the trees somehow. I asked him later how close we had gotten to crashing and he just held up his hand with his thumb and forefinger pressed together.

I had this super fat guy glancing back and forth between his ticket, the isle markers and the seat next to me.

Thank god he was in 21F

First flight. I was four years old. Grandpa did a loop.

FuturePastNow: Then there was the time one of my sinus cavities ruptured due to their shiatty-ass pressurization job. It just farkin' popped, bloody snot and all.

Something like that happened to me. It felt like my head was going to explode, then, mercifully, the plane began to descend. For a week afterward my head hurt. I thought it was aneurysm or something.

We were in a box canyon hovering over the wreckage of an EA-6B when we started to get into a power settling condition. The jungle started coming up very fast and I hit the deck and grabbed a seatrail and waited for the impact.

Never flew on chopper. EA-3Bs and P-3 Orions, as well as the occasional C-130 ferry. I hear they're fun tho - NOE sounds like fun!

A crash.

Two weeks before I married my first wife, my future father-in-law took me up over central Iowa in his little four seat single engine plane at night. In December. We were working with the local sheriff's department to catch poachers, called shiners. Shiners would shine spotlights over the fields of snow, catch a deer in the light, and shoot it.

We had been flying for about two hours and caught three or four shiners, when the engine blew. Dead.

My father-in-law sent off a mayday and our position. He then turned to me and said that we had a few minutes before we went down, and that we had a problem. There was no airport within range, even over the horizon. There were no farm lights, and we couldn't see any roads for the snow. He said that, furthermore, the farmers there plowed their fiels in the fall and let them lie fallow for the winter. In addition, they either plowed their fields east to west or north to south, and we wouldn't be able to tell which way the furrows went until it was to late to correct. Guess wrong, and we crash and die.

He said that, since I was young, it was up to me to choose the direction. I did.

Just after that, we saw landing lights come on several miles away. We glided toward them, and came in for a rough landing. We overshot, hit a snow bank, and tipped onto our nose.

We opened the door, just in time to look down the barrel of a shotgun. The woman with the shotgun demanded to know who we were, and where her husband was.

Turns out her husband was a country doctor who made house calls in his plane, and was due back shortly. She didn't have her radio on.

Oh, and we drove back the next day. I'd chosen the direction of the furrows incorrectly ;)

Conforming_Iconoclast: Landing in Halifax during a bad storm.

I swear I was on this flight with you. When was this?

U.S.Air somewhere over the north Atlantic - we hit an air pocket and the plane dropped. How far? Don't know. A lot. Several people left their seats, the drink cart left the floor and did a flip. No one was seriously hurt; bunch of bruises, several cuts (some probably needing attention when we landed, and possibly a broken arm.

6-seater Cessna, Kansas City to Chicago, 8pm, one early December evening. My boss was flying the plane. Flew into a snowstorm 20 minutes after leaving Kansas City. He finally asked me to do a little co-piloting, to help keep the plane horizontal against the wind. Full instrument landing, saw the runway about 20 seconds before we touched down on a runway covered with snow -- which I kneeled down and kissed after we taxied to the hangar.

I flew with my dad a few times. All the stuff nightmares are made of...

Weaver95-

I have 2,000 hours in H-46's and another 600 in Huey Novembers. There was a lot of interesting missions and good sightseeing, but a couple of times things didn't look to good where getting back was concerned.

RubyRed
Amazingly enough, I have/had 7 private pilots in my immediate family and if you do a Google search on "Juan Trippe" you'll see how my great uncle created tourist class air travel, ...

Your great uncle is Alec Baldwin?

Conforming_Iconoclast: 12 years ago? Hmmm...11 to 14 years ago...probably 12.

Hm, guess not (I would've been 10). This was 5 or 6 years ago.

I guess the weather in Halifax is just always shiatty!

I have 2,000 hours in H-46's and another 600 in Huey Novembers. There was a lot of interesting missions and good sightseeing, but a couple of times things didn't look to good where getting back was concerned.

I spent time in EP-3E's mostly. did the once around in an EA-3B once.

God, did I love the EA-3B's. NOTHING would kill that aircraft. I once saw those engines suck up a turkey buzzard, spit feathers and keep right on going.

Trolley_Dolly
Blowing the first officer during some really bad wake turbulence. I wonder if he ever healed...

Reminds me of that unfortunate scene in "The World According to Garp."

Weaver95-

I tried a P-3 once. I was having problems with my knees and was thinking about changing platforms. The detailer said the only way he would consider letting me out of a SAR billet was to go to flight engineer school.

Twenty minutes in the jump seat and I was falling asleep.

I was standing in Sea-Tac airport waiting for my flight, when I saw the plane come up to the gate, slide on the ice (rare storm), and run right into the terminal in full sight of all of us.

Two hours later, I boarded the alternate plane they found for our flight. Oddly enough, there was only one passenger aboard - me - when there should have been more than 60. The flight attendants gave me all the drinks and meals I wanted ;)

air pocket. dropped like 1000 feet.

RubyRed: Anytime I need to go somewhere, I have a family member willing to fly me privately.

So....Wanna get married?