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(MSNBC)   Pirate attacks down sharply so far this year. Ninja attacks difficult to gauge, since ya know, they are ninjas   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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5253 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Apr 2007 at 1:11 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

60 Comments     (+0 »)

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2007-04-25 01:13:08 PM  
How will this affect global warming?
2007-04-25 01:13:26 PM  
Damn you global warming!!!
2007-04-25 01:14:02 PM  
Probably gonna be a lot of Cat-5 hurricanes this year...
2007-04-25 01:14:05 PM  
That's because the ninjas killed most of the pirates last year.

/ninjas are better than pirates.
2007-04-25 01:14:09 PM  
Pirates are way cooler than ninjas....

/Damn ninja stole my epix!!!
2007-04-25 01:14:10 PM  
Suck it, libs!
2007-04-25 01:14:20 PM  
Ninjas > Pirates

2007-04-25 01:14:28 PM  
reported in the "international business" section.

2007-04-25 01:14:44 PM  
I think you'll find pirate rape is way up.
2007-04-25 01:14:54 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2007-04-25 01:15:16 PM  

/i just peed out my bunghole
//in the bathroom, not here in my seat
2007-04-25 01:17:16 PM  
Avast ye ninjas!!111! Avast!
2007-04-25 01:17:48 PM  
Ninjas! Everywhere!
2007-04-25 01:17:49 PM  
Heh, I was gonna make a comment about global warmi...

2007-04-25 01:18:17 PM  
Pirate Hooker says: "Arr, me mateys have been takin' a break from the pillagin' and the plunderin' of late. We be vacationing. Us pirates 'ave been workin' 'ard these past few years and we're a wee bit tired. Arrrr."
[image from too old to be available]
2007-04-25 01:18:23 PM  
Natural Causes... you hear that all the time, don't you? Died of Natural Causes. Open up any obituary page and I bet you'll find those words listed somewhere. Give it a shot, I'll wait...

What they don't tell you, though, is that Natural Causes is just a code phrase for Ninja Attack. It's used by all the media editors across the country. So what does that mean? I'll tell ya'. Any time you read Died of Natural Causes, you can know it means Died of Ninja Attack.
2007-04-25 01:19:44 PM  
I also came in here to discuss global warming.

Al Gore will always be Captain Hook in my mind.
2007-04-25 01:21:18 PM  
Am I just not reading the headline right??

[image from too old to be available]

"is" year??
Will someone explain what "is" is
(wow dusted off a Clinton ref!)

/too many marts too early in the day perhaps??
2007-04-25 01:21:34 PM  
i gotta get me a sam-arrrrr-i sword.
2007-04-25 01:22:23 PM  
correlation != causation
2007-04-25 01:22:33 PM  

You've said to much.
Your Ninja membership card will be revoked and sliced into 83 pieces before it hits the ground.

Everyone else that read his post, please gather around and look at this flashy pen I have in my hand...
2007-04-25 01:24:36 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Blackbeard be disappointed in today's pirates, aye
2007-04-25 01:24:55 PM  
2007-04-25 01:26:06 PM  
NineInchNader: Natural Causes... you hear that all the time, don't you? Died of Natural Causes. Open up any obituary page and I bet you'll find those words listed somewhere. Give it a shot, I'll wait...

So, why do ninjas hate old people?
2007-04-25 01:28:50 PM  
It's called a "Q ship". It looks like easy pickins to pirates, but suddenly turns out to be a heavily armed trap.

It does not arrest pirates.

They, and their boats or ships, are lost with all hands.

Poof. As if they never existed.
2007-04-25 01:29:23 PM  
pirates >> ninjas
2007-04-25 01:31:23 PM  
I came here for the pirate Orly owl pic....

2007-04-25 01:33:27 PM  
Avast, There is a piracy center? My dream job!
2007-04-25 01:33:52 PM  
HotWingConspiracy: I think you'll find pirate rape is way up.

I guess you didn't get the memo:

[image from too old to be available]
2007-04-25 01:34:57 PM  
Attacks are down because when Pirates attack they kill all the witnesses.

Any ninja worth his salt attacks unseen and/or kills any witnesses.


2007-04-25 01:38:10 PM  

I'll assume that a decline from 61 to 41 attacks year-over-year (~33% decline) implies the same decline in the number of pirates.
Using the two most recent data points to extrapolate, a factor of 20 decline in pirates is correlated with an increase in the GAT of ~0.4 deg C.
thus, the recent decline of an add'l ~1/3 would be expected to increase the GAT by approximately (3/20)*0.4 deg C, or 0.06 deg C....

/yeah, i certainly do need to STFU and GBTW
2007-04-25 01:38:32 PM  
2007-04-25 01:39:00 PM  
I told my girlfriend that sailing around the world would be a cool idea, but because of weather and pirates I would be afraid. She laughed and said "arrrrrrrrrr" until I explained that there were indeed people in the ocean who still liked to kill people and steal their stuff.
2007-04-25 01:39:52 PM  
"2007-04-25 01:22:33 PM Whatthefark


You two need a nap!

/very funny posts!
2007-04-25 01:44:53 PM  
My Black Son, from Family Guy.

/Also he's a ninja!
2007-04-25 01:45:16 PM  
Sometimes its hard to tell. Since ninjas are masters of disguise, how can you tell if they are a pirate and not a ninja attack in disguise?
2007-04-25 01:46:04 PM  
I'm worried about Robot attacks
2007-04-25 01:50:49 PM  
Wow. I got first Boobies post.
2007-04-25 01:54:16 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

are greater than

pirates + ninja
2007-04-25 02:00:19 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2007-04-25 02:02:59 PM  
Maybe it's because all of the badass pirates took to traveling the Grand Line.
2007-04-25 02:10:47 PM  
HAHA, I get it because I love catchphrases and shiatty internet memes.

BEA ARTHUR!!! LOL (luagh out loud)
2007-04-25 02:12:59 PM  
Seriously, global warming/Pastafarian jokes aside, is anyone else blown away that 41 pirate attacks in three months is considered "down sharply"? It must be like farking Water World over there.
2007-04-25 02:13:48 PM  
Somacandra yea who knew Emanual Lewis was a ninja?
2007-04-25 02:23:24 PM  
are greater than
pirates + ninja

2007-04-25 02:27:00 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
[image from too old to be available]
[image from too old to be available]
[image from too old to be available]
2007-04-25 02:53:25 PM  
University of Texas at Austin Campus Watch

WEST MALL, 2300 Block Guadalupe
Suspicious Person: UT police officers responded to the West Mall on a report of a male subject running and yelling at pedestrians along the West Mall. During the investigation, the officers were informed that there was a subject wearing a black mask and dressed as a ninja. The officers further learned that the ninja was chasing a pirate. As the investigation continued, the officers discovered that both subjects had "jumped ship" and had left the area. Reported on: 4-23-07, at 11:31 AM. (pops)
2007-04-25 02:57:53 PM  

I hate you for linking that video

*needs memory bleach*
2007-04-25 03:01:06 PM  
While piracy may be down elsewhere, economic faliure in the Canadian Praries has lead to a veritable outbreak of high-seas theft:
2007-04-25 03:10:58 PM  
All I know I that the RIAA is against piracy, and that's enough for me to support pirates. Especially when they have such cool uniforms:

[image from too old to be available]
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