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(Lancaster Online)   Meet Cindy McVey, equine sports massage therapist. Your dog wants... no, lower.. lower...aah, right there   ( divider line
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7426 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2007 at 5:34 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

52 Comments     (+0 »)

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2007-04-22 03:36:14 PM  
This reminds me of some internet video I've seen.
2007-04-22 04:06:25 PM  
No happy ending?
2007-04-22 04:48:44 PM  
My chiropractor also does horses.
2007-04-22 04:51:05 PM  
Masseuse to a Kentucky Derby contender, too. Interesting
jbc [TotalFark]
2007-04-22 04:57:28 PM  
Dogs are not equines, Smitty. You fail.
2007-04-22 05:12:28 PM  
Your dog horse wants... no, lower.. lower...aah, right there

2007-04-22 05:37:40 PM  
So she likes massaging horse parts, eh? I can give her a fair imitation.
2007-04-22 05:42:07 PM  
Folderol, Kyosuke said everything I was going to say.

Guys that boast about their size usually also drive big big trucks or shiny red sports cars.

Me, I drive an unpimped honda civic

2007-04-22 05:42:33 PM  
wow, submitter is a moron
2007-04-22 05:42:46 PM  
I think I downloaded a movie about that once. "Petite Chicks, Giant Horse ***** No. 17".
2007-04-22 05:43:33 PM  
McVey? didn't he do know...the OK City bombing?'s a girl. yea, thats my bad

/goes to read article
2007-04-22 05:45:12 PM  
Yagottabechittinme:"Your dog horse wants... no, lower.. lower...aah, right there"
Agreed. Far too people know what Equine means. Stupid non-Kentuckians.
2007-04-22 05:45:23 PM  
Wow, are there that many people lining up to pay someone to give a handjob to a horse?

Pics, plz. :-)
2007-04-22 05:49:09 PM  
Once in the door, she approached trainers on the backside.

2007-04-22 05:50:22 PM  

Yes, just ask Kinky Kelly
2007-04-22 05:55:17 PM  

I drive a Toyota Camry sedan.

Let's see:

size -- your car is smaller (inches to you)
boring domesticity -- my car is a family sedan, no two ways about it (inches to me)
chick factor -- about the same
performance -- mine has a 4-cylinder engine and tends to lean; I'm betting yours is more fun to drive (probable inches to me)

It's a close call, but I think my dick is bigger than yours. If your car has shiatty performance, that might swing the question in your favor.
2007-04-22 05:57:24 PM  

My schlong is as long as a Toyota Camry.

/not really
2007-04-22 05:58:36 PM  
Catherine the Great unavailable for happy ending comment
2007-04-22 05:59:15 PM  


Yes, just ask Kinky Kelly

"You're in the bestiality business."
"Hey, farko, we like to call it 'interspecies erotica.'"

/wasn't Kelly a donkey though?
//"Donkey Show?"
2007-04-22 06:00:06 PM  
Red Rocket.. Red Rocket!
2007-04-22 06:04:42 PM  
Why is that weird? It's what my mom does.

//She does people too
2007-04-22 06:09:53 PM  
attack of the
just because your mom does it, doesn't make it not weird...
2007-04-22 06:09:57 PM  
attack of the
//She does people too

2007-04-22 06:11:29 PM  
attack of the It's what my mom does...She does people too

So I've heard.
2007-04-22 06:12:44 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Hello, Cindy? This is Wilbur, I need a hand with my horse.
2007-04-22 06:17:09 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

But who's the horse?
2007-04-22 06:26:02 PM  
...but why is this news? Muscles are muscles and they all benefit from proper care.
2007-04-22 06:27:19 PM  
It's actually a very lucrative business. I'm considering going into it. Performance horses have been shown to improve after a massage in an area that has given them trouble.

/Oh man, I'm asking for that last sentence to be laughed at...
2007-04-22 06:28:54 PM  
My family used to own a very old siamese cat named Clancy, who among other issues had bad arthritis in his hips. Now, at the time I had a close friend whose stepdad was a massage therapist, specifically rolfing (I do hope I spelled that right). Anyways, their family comes over and Clancy was hobbling around, and much to our surprise the stepdad reachs over, grabs the cat, and rolfs said cat. Clancy was not the happiest animal, but he didn't hobble as much afterward.

True story.
2007-04-22 06:34:18 PM  
ringshadow: I'm rofling
2007-04-22 06:41:51 PM  
I happen to be hung like a Grand Steeplechase winner and work for "Petite Chicks, Giant Horse ***** DVD series"; So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about. But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around. If you don't know about the topic....Don't make yourself sound like you do. Cos some of the petit chicks believe anything they hear.
2007-04-22 06:44:13 PM  
I don't see why this is weird. Massage is good for everyone. Unfortunately, most people seem to see massage as a sexual activity, or one that leads to sex. It can, but it doesn't HAVE to. Children and animals get as much benefit from massage as sexy sexytime adults do. Sheesh.
2007-04-22 06:47:00 PM  
a large angry dinosaur: Children and animals get as much benefit from massage as sexy sexytime adults do.

Thats just sick! You just defended animal abusers and pedophiles, nice job. It may be "a benefit" where your from, but to the rest of us its a serious crime.
2007-04-22 06:53:51 PM  
My troll-fu appear to be very weak, Master ?????

/Must watch TV and reload my sEcr3t poW4Zzzz !!!!
2007-04-22 07:04:45 PM  
Horse massages aren't odd... A friend paid a horse psychic $90 to diagnose her horse's ailment over the phone. Sort of "hold the phone towards the barn and concentrate." Really.
2007-04-22 07:07:03 PM  
My horse Cody loved his regular massages.

No, seriously, I had my horse massaged by a professional equine masseuse every month or so while we were competing.

Not my other horse Carlos though. He was a bum.
2007-04-22 07:17:14 PM  
She looks like she's had her face lifted more times than a shipping container.

/bets she's 50-55
2007-04-22 07:32:55 PM  
That's nothin', you should see what they do to the elephants. Maybe NSFW.
2007-04-22 07:36:17 PM  
Salacious Salad

Dude, that guy was anally fisting an elephant to ejaculation!

2007-04-22 07:41:53 PM  
Equine chiropractors and massage therapists are common. Sports horses are competitive athletes. It's not a surprise they need a whole range of therapeutic medicine, massage and even alternative treatments such as Reiki to help them recover from injuries and strain.

Nice to see it get coverage on Fark. Don't know why it's news though, other than the subby doesn't know the difference between dogs and horses.
2007-04-22 08:00:30 PM  
FTA "3-year-old Pennsylvania-bred Hard Spun, son of Danzig."

[image from too old to be available]
with a horse!
2007-04-22 09:16:53 PM  
I appreciate that this article was written, if only for the reason that so many people are clueless to the ways of the horse industry. Interesting that this would be greenlit when I am considering going into this as well as a couple other things to bulk up my resume again. Get out of my head, Farkers.
2007-04-22 09:36:25 PM  
"It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

/Clean up, aisle six!
2007-04-22 09:37:22 PM  
The riding stable where I work has a chiro/massage therapist come through every month to work on the lesson horses and ponies. There are a few oldies who need extra attention, and some of us give horsey backrubs a few times a week. Keeps them feeling comfortable and happy.
2007-04-22 09:46:56 PM  
real shaman

My chiropractor got in trouble for that.
2007-04-22 10:18:35 PM  
Horses are dumb... We should start breeding them for food.
2007-04-22 11:03:38 PM  
Cindy, why the long face?
2007-04-22 11:58:12 PM  
No pictures of Harry Potter the Horse Farker?

/I'm not going to be the one to post them
2007-04-23 01:05:44 AM  

That's why they trained us in massage school to not say "do people" when referring to massage therapy. We say "work on people". Our profession is tarnished by the concept that we are just sex workers with a flimsy alibi. If someone asked me for a happy ending, I'd remind them that I am not a sex worker and that I could lose my license & good professional standing. If they push the issue, I'd get the cops involved.

I always see ads in the American Massage Therapy Association's trade journal "mtj" for training in Equissage. I suppose it's a neat way to make a living -- you meet all sorts of rich people, you can command a decent rate, you get to work with animals. Plus if the horse wins after your work, you're reasonably assured of a repeat gig.

Speaking of "Your dog wants..." Massaging dogs really requires no special training, other than knowing how to let the motion come from your core rather than your arms. Dogs are very responsive to massage -- some have just repeatedly come back to me for more haunch rubs. They'll turn unprompted to the one side they want worked. I don't think I've ever had a dog snap at me while I was massaging it.

/if it was my own girlfriend asking for a happy ending, in a heartbeat
//if it was a dog or a horse... ewwwwwwww!
2007-04-23 01:10:06 AM  
Didn't that gal used to date Chandler Bing?
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