FARK.com: (2742047) Not to be outdone by Catholics, Orthodox monks in Texas admit to sexually abusing children AND having sex with each other AND smoking marijuana AND using eydropper to produce fake tears on Virgin Mary icon

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(Some Guy)		Not to be outdone by Catholics, Orthodox monks in Texas admit to sexually abusing children AND having sex with each other AND smoking marijuana AND using eydropper to produce fake tears on Virgin Mary icon (brownsvilleherald.com)		46
		More: Asinine

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9688 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Apr 2007 at 1:46 PM | Favorite | share:

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2wolves		2007-04-16 06:41:56 AM

But I'm sure they're really nice people deep down inside. Wonderful humans. Truly.

Slaxl		2007-04-16 06:50:59 AM

But at least they're honest about it.

HomerButt		2007-04-16 06:58:27 AM

My, they've been busy.

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros		2007-04-16 07:09:39 AM

More fun than a barrel of monks.

Gavino		2007-04-16 07:20:03 AM

I'm in the wrong job.

dj4aces		2007-04-16 07:23:41 AM

It IS Texas, after all.

/runs

patrick767		2007-04-16 09:03:07 AM

dj4aces
It IS Texas, after all.

Exactly. Texas is all about beers, steers, and qu...

ChairmanKaga		2007-04-16 11:00:18 AM

ChairmanKaga		2007-04-16 11:01:38 AM

I_C_Weener		2007-04-16 11:22:15 AM

submitter: Not to be outdone by Catholics, Orthodox monks in Texas admit to sexually abusing children AND having sex with each other AND smoking marijuana AND using eydropper to produce fake tears on Virgin Mary icon

Isn't this a Country-Western song?

Eidolon		2007-04-16 01:48:31 PM

That'd be kinda awesome if not for the "abusing children" part. There's not a whole lotta things you can do to make up for that.

PirateKing		2007-04-16 01:49:19 PM

But they're all really sorry about it, so God said it's ok.

texdent		2007-04-16 01:49:39 PM

Wait, we have monks?

degreeless		2007-04-16 01:49:46 PM

Monksecks?

hillbillypharmacist		2007-04-16 01:49:46 PM

HomerButt: My, they've been busy.

They get up very early.

rockforever		2007-04-16 01:50:27 PM

I gotta agree with Eidolon. If your gonna be a man of the bible, you might as well be high.

fireclown		2007-04-16 01:50:56 PM

Eidolon: That'd be kinda awesome if not for the "abusing children" part. There's not a whole lotta things you can do to make up for that.

I'd also get rid of the manlove part personally, but it does sound like a rockin' monistary.

El_Comandante		2007-04-16 01:52:38 PM

I like to smoke pot and have sex. Can I become a monk?

Englebert Slaptyback		2007-04-16 01:53:14 PM

That doesn't sound terribly orthodox to me...

El_Comandante		2007-04-16 01:53:15 PM

Edit: Not with kids.

dezmo1218b		2007-04-16 01:53:42 PM

Was the "child abuse" achieved by imposing their religious views on those too young to question or have free thought?

xanadian		2007-04-16 01:53:42 PM

Wow. You just can't make this shiat up.

meshman		2007-04-16 01:55:50 PM

"I'm in the wrong job."

You want a job smoking pot and having sex with 11 year olds?

PedroWonStopVoting		2007-04-16 01:56:32 PM

wait wait wait wait!

putting fake tears on the holy virgin is COMPLETELY unacceptable.

Boritom		2007-04-16 01:58:08 PM

...The Aristocrats!

IPOOPONU		2007-04-16 01:58:50 PM

it IS religion after all

/doesn't run

Bomb Head Mohammed		2007-04-16 01:59:45 PM

theorellior		2007-04-16 02:02:02 PM

El_Comandante: I like to smoke pot and have sex. Can I become a monk?

Sorry, dude, I've seen these guys on local news reports about this whole child-abuse things. These guys make the sharp-knees guy look good. You don't want to be hangin' around in that monastery.

Kif_D		2007-04-16 02:02:03 PM

Monk Greene and Hitt smoking weed? A-haha-hah!

Stinky93		2007-04-16 02:06:10 PM

There's no lick better than a catholick.

Greg Rebellion		2007-04-16 02:17:19 PM

To their credit, the ROCOR gave these guys the boot, rather than move them around to other locales.

boogereater		2007-04-16 02:29:04 PM

Reverend Otis		2007-04-16 02:38:04 PM

boogereater

*Gasp* Cadfael, NOOOOOOOOO! You perv!

Cheeseburger		2007-04-16 02:45:09 PM

dezmo1218b:

Was the "child abuse" achieved by imposing their religious views on those too young to question or have free thought?

Right, dezmo1218b. We should let the state, or you, or Richard Dawkins decide what to teach our children. Anything else would amount to child abuse!

Hahahahahahah!

i92.photobucket.com

AuntNotAnt		2007-04-16 02:48:22 PM

fireclown

But the church of manlove is such a holy place to be!

Makh		2007-04-16 02:59:00 PM

"You want a job smoking pot and having sex with 11 year olds?"

You mean guidance counselor?

Slash: Try the fish...here all week. Yadda yadda.

poorjon		2007-04-16 03:05:07 PM

Thelonius, is that you?

author1701		2007-04-16 03:19:45 PM

Orthodox monks... is there anything they can't do?

L Ron Hubbub		2007-04-16 03:33:16 PM

borist		2007-04-16 04:08:47 PM

I always wondered what went on out there in Blanco. Glad to hear there's something more exciting in Blanco than antique shops.

/Now what's going on in Henly?

Buddha04		2007-04-16 04:44:15 PM

Cheeseburger Hahahahahahah!

tboyd75019		2007-04-16 04:59:39 PM

Englebert Slaptyback
Probably not Orthodox but definitely Greek

//smoke the blunt not the Monk

Ratio of Cake		2007-04-16 05:29:02 PM

Now that ROCOR is being taken over by KGB agent Drozdov, aka "Patriarch Alexei," on May 17, the 11 yr olds will all be saved for Putin so he can do the Holy Raspberry on their lil tummies.