Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Vatican)   The secret archives of the Vatican (Jeff is so going to hell)   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

18357 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Aug 2002 at 4:58 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

89 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-08-15 04:58:56 PM  
See if you can figure out where the Pope is going to be in late September so we can get a picture of Drew presenting him with a fark shirt.
2002-08-15 05:00:42 PM  
i think a new circle of hell is under construction, and is reserved for farkers who make tasteless comments/photoshops ;-)

below even them will be farkers who overuse cliches ;-)

all your vatican archive are belong to us!
2002-08-15 05:01:19 PM  
Man, I think I was the first one to use the "I'm so going to hell" statement in a submission...But then I was posting a boobie pic of my step-sister...

2002-08-15 05:03:18 PM  
Yes, you will go to hell for looking at the Vatican's secret archives on the Vatican's secret offical web page.
2002-08-15 05:03:18 PM  

That was a farking great picture ... tell Satan to go easy on you.
2002-08-15 05:03:18 PM  
why is he going to hell? did I miss something? I can't even read Italian...
2002-08-15 05:03:56 PM  
it would help if I knew Italian.
2002-08-15 05:05:16 PM  
How about all the stolen loot in Vatican City?
You know, all the stuff the Nazis stole from the Jews in the 1940's that now the Vatican somehow has?
Am I imagining this?
2002-08-15 05:05:42 PM  
Internet secret = oxymoron
2002-08-15 05:06:53 PM  
"Popey likey bobbies!!!"
2002-08-15 05:07:30 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

sssshhhhh... it's a secret!
2002-08-15 05:07:38 PM  
Hey ! I thought I was going to see pics of Stephanie Seymore and Tara in lingerie then I realized it's the Vatican's Secrets, not Victoria's secrets
2002-08-15 05:09:07 PM  
This is stupid. It's not even the 'secret' archives. Mostly just an index of what's in the secret archives, which are location in Vatican City, and you need some sorta pass card to get in. Why would anyone bother posting this? Better yet, why did a mod let this through?
2002-08-15 05:09:54 PM  
child prOn!
2002-08-15 05:09:55 PM  
"Popey likey bobbies!!!"

The pope likes british police? Weird.
2002-08-15 05:09:58 PM  
3horn: As I recall, you mentioned recently that your copy of her pic was lost from your hard drive. Also, she appears to have dropped out of the Top Boobies links as well.

It sounds to be like you have received holy absolution.

Until next time...
2002-08-15 05:10:19 PM  
OHH MAN! In there is proof that UFO's exist! I have to read more!



I dont read italian, do we have a italian Farker that can read this?
2002-08-15 05:10:19 PM  
headline should read: "Look at boring records from foreign countries that you cant understand."
2002-08-15 05:10:19 PM  
The pope-meister has a somewhat decent website.

I guess it was done in PHP (the Pope's Hypertext PreProcessor language). har har. har. lickmehnutz.
2002-08-15 05:10:42 PM  
3horn: Can you give us Farkers the pic again?
2002-08-15 05:11:04 PM  
i've been to rome and the vatican, very impressive. i kept asking my mother (old school italian catholic) where the "nun making machine" was. i got pinched on the arm. i was 30 at the time.
2002-08-15 05:11:06 PM  
I have heard that the Vatican library has the world's largest collection of pornographic material.
2002-08-15 05:11:06 PM  
Since we are discussing those wacky wacky catholics, maybe someone can explain some things for me:
1) I thought the Pope is Gods Representative here on earth. Why is he elected? Wouldn't God hand choose who he wants instead of having a popularity contest?

2) God = Jesus = Holy Spirit etc....
So why do Catolics pray to different saints and to the Virgin Mary? Isn't that kind of like going through a middle man? I mean Jesus/Spirit boy are all knowing and all powerful, does Jesus get that look on his face when Mary is coming to ask him a bout a request and he already knows what the question is?
Wouldn't it be better to just direct dial Jesus?

Just curious....
2002-08-15 05:11:34 PM  

1) I'll see ya there, so at least I'll have interesting company.

2) has anyone ever told you that you kinda resemble Lister from "Red Dwarf"?

3) do you still have the pictures? Can you link them?

Just wonderin'
2002-08-15 05:12:14 PM  
"There's an r! There's an r! It's celebrate!"
2002-08-15 05:12:59 PM  
crap, didn't refresh soon enough to prevent question 3...oh well
2002-08-15 05:13:20 PM  
2) God = Jesus = Holy Spirit etc....
So why do Catolics pray to different saints and to the Virgin Mary?

They're trying to pretend they aren't pagan and failing miserably.

I'm convinced the Holy Ghost was something invented to make up the numbers for the Trinity (triplicity).
2002-08-15 05:13:42 PM  

I don't get catholics either. I'm just glad the christian school i went to for 2 years was multidenominational instead of crap catholic...
2002-08-15 05:13:42 PM  
Moe, the pope gets elected by cardinals and they're guided by God to pick the right guy. as for praying to the Blessed Mother and Saints, each of them has kind of a "specialty" so you pray to them. Like any religion, it's a mixture of faith and superstition.
2002-08-15 05:14:07 PM  
Yeah, for a monotheistic religion, they have a trinity...????
2002-08-15 05:15:30 PM  
Think of the trinity like three in one oil: separate things make up the whole. (I had 12 years of catholic school, and this stuff sticks with you.)
2002-08-15 05:16:26 PM  
Turrets There's an error in your translation. Instead of "boobies", it should read "little boys".
2002-08-15 05:16:28 PM  
Anyone try to view the map? It's not there because the archives are friggin' SECRET!!!!

Take that atheists!!
2002-08-15 05:18:33 PM  
Click here to read documents
If this works I will be amazed, otherwise just go here and type it in yourself.
2002-08-15 05:19:51 PM  
So, Cardinals that vote for the wrong guy, what does that mean? Is that like when Edgerrin James claims that "God was on our side today"? Cardinal Francis George is in Chicago. If he votes for a new pope and another guy gets elected, does he lose all respect?

I love how people think that a meteor comes and you kill yourself, that is some sort of whacky religious cult. Heavens Gate does not seem any whackier than this stuff!
2002-08-15 05:21:49 PM  
Yeah Moe, I agree with you. I've been raised Catholic, so it's the religion I know, I certainly don't think that my way is the "right" way. Worship however you please,that's my philosophy. Besides the majority of the religions in this world were created to keep people in line.
2002-08-15 05:22:06 PM  
1. Well lets looks at the alternatives.

a) Catholic cardinals fighting each other until one is proven to have the favor of god. Yeahh!
b) One guy comes up and say: i have been chosen. There would be one each day. Kinda like Bush no?? HAHA!
c) Lets do it medieval style: the cardinals are dunked in water, if they sink they are ok and die, if not they are not chosen. The one that sinks and live is the pope. Humm kinda like that one.


Humm. I really dont know why the human race are hero worshippers. I think i dont care, i just like to poke fun at a televangelist.

2002-08-15 05:22:21 PM  
3H: easy for You to say,

[UU theology lacks a concept of hell, which may be why their churches are so poor.]
2002-08-15 05:23:18 PM  
I use my summon Grand High Took spell so that he can use his summon Bevets spell and we can get down to nitty gritty here.
There is no discussion about religion that should exclude Bevets.
2002-08-15 05:24:48 PM  
Religions get bent and twisted to fit the views of whomever wants to "judge" those who don't believe one person's particular point of view. Love each other. Be nice to one another. Be tolerant. That's the message, isn't it?
2002-08-15 05:25:28 PM  
I am not trying to start a flamewar (Well, I am not trying hard at least). I am just trying to understand things a little bit better.
2002-08-15 05:26:32 PM  
I hear he had to clear a level of Pitfall to get these.
2002-08-15 05:27:07 PM  
moe, what you wanna know?
2002-08-15 05:27:49 PM  
SuperMonkeyOverLord: I haven't seen Grand High Took in awhile.
2002-08-15 05:27:51 PM  
Catholics really don't like it when you tell them their religion is based on cannibalism.

"Everybody play nice and try to get along." Why is that so hard to understand? It doesn't really require a holy book and religious claptrap. Maybe it's because the books also say "smite thine enemy with the edge of thy sword."
2002-08-15 05:29:20 PM  
Bondith hit the nail on its head. Catholocism also turns people who cut themselves and say it was a sign from God into saints, performs exorcisms, have more statues of Mary than Jesus, and have an ultra secret base which houses who the hell knows what, among countless other things which you probably already knew. Perfectly normal sect.
2002-08-15 05:31:49 PM  
Based on cannibalism, I'm trying that one out at the dinner table. Mention it real casual. My in laws are hard core Catholics. I could theoretically get kicked out of the house...
2002-08-15 05:32:48 PM  
Did anyone find the Jobs link on the vatican site? I'm really horny and was wondering...
2002-08-15 05:34:59 PM  
Try the Catechism... there are on-line versions. Pretty easy to look up specific questions in there. Amazing (sad, actually) how many Catholics haven't even read through it.
2002-08-15 05:36:16 PM  
OK,why do most catholics seem to believe that one hour in church a week and $10 in a collection plate absolves them from the fact that they lead horrible lives the rest of the week?
Displayed 50 of 89 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.