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(Sydney Morning Herald)   So a deaf black lesbian with a chainsaw walks into a bar...   (smh.com.au) divider line 190
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25126 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2007 at 5:37 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-04-09 02:22:19 PM  
"GYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
 
2007-04-09 02:22:45 PM  
Heard it.
 
2007-04-09 02:23:30 PM  
FTA: prosecutors are expected to show jurors a video of a pig being dismembered with the same type of chainsaw Wright bought two days after VanderGiesen disappeared.

We get it, she used a chainsaw on the lady. Is this necessary? She did it, she goes to jail. I am sure the average person can imagine the scene without such a reenactment.
 
2007-04-09 02:25:35 PM  
The Aristocrats?
 
2007-04-09 02:26:11 PM  
So a deaf black lesbian with a chainsaw walks into a bar

And she was immediately offered a job. Affirmative action strikes again.
 
2007-04-09 02:30:22 PM  
MacEnvy

Game over, man. You win.

I was trying to work in something about a "chainsaw wound," but thought that it would be in poor taste.

/actually, it would probably taste terrible!
 
2007-04-09 02:37:36 PM  
eqtworld [TotalFark]

FTA: prosecutors are expected to show jurors a video of a pig being dismembered with the same type of chainsaw Wright bought two days after VanderGiesen disappeared.

We get it, she used a chainsaw on the lady. Is this necessary? She did it, she goes to jail. I am sure the average person can imagine the scene without such a reenactment.


I aint no law talking guy, but that sounds like showboating.

/The whole thing sounds like a Tarantino wet dream.
 
2007-04-09 02:43:58 PM  
So a deaf black lesbian with a chainsaw walks into a bar


... and says 'which one of you bastards is Bob_Laublaw? Raise your hand.'
 
2007-04-09 02:45:52 PM  
Simpsons did it.
 
2007-04-09 02:48:26 PM  
and the bartender says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"
 
2007-04-09 02:49:00 PM  
the_rev: ... and says 'which one of you bastards is Bob_Laublaw? Raise your hand.'

"We want the TEMPLATE, Todd!"
 
2007-04-09 02:51:53 PM  
...and says "Iz duh bah tindah heuh?"
 
2007-04-09 02:53:56 PM  
submitter: So a deaf black lesbian with a chainsaw walks into a bar

And says, "IS THIS THING ON?!?!"
 
2007-04-09 03:00:08 PM  
Russell Simmons' Def Black Lesbian Chainsaw Massacre

/all rights reserved
 
2007-04-09 03:03:19 PM  
MacEnvy rocks my small, self centered universe. Too f*cking funny.
 
2007-04-09 03:11:01 PM  
I don't know what her qualifications are, but I'm sure many places would be glad to extend to her an offer of employment.
 
2007-04-09 03:21:50 PM  
Wright then killed her with either a blow to the head or by suffocation, according to prosecutors.

Wait, so she was killed by suffocation, a blow to the head, and a chainsaw?

+1 for overkill, but damn. Problems much?
 
2007-04-09 03:37:54 PM  
That's a whole lot of pent-up victimhood rolled up into one mean pissed off person.

/calling Tarantino we got a good movie script for you
 
2007-04-09 03:38:31 PM  
I'm incredibly disappointed that no one's yet mentioned the Left-Handed Lesbian Midget Eskimo Albino Student Union.
 
2007-04-09 03:43:01 PM  
useless without (slasher) pics
 
2007-04-09 03:45:41 PM  
Southpaw018: Wait, so she was killed by suffocation, a blow to the head, and a chainsaw?

That chick must have gone out like Rasputin, some people are badass. You have to inflict lethal damage three or more times on them before they give up the ghost.
 
2007-04-09 04:33:48 PM  
Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to be plausible. -Mark Twain


Just how big is the GLB community in South Dakota?
 
2007-04-09 04:38:44 PM  
Southpaw018: Wait, so she was killed by suffocation, a blow to the head, and a chainsaw?

Since the chainsaw was purchased two days after the victim's disappearance, it's more likely she used the chainsaw to dismember the body to make it easier to dispose of.

But you're quite right, the chainsaw is way overkill and not the best instrument for the job (hence the later chain oil purchase). I agree with Dexter Morgan's choice of a reciprocating saw. Much less splatter to deal with, and the blades are easier to service than a chainsaw blade.

/Not a serial killer
//Couldn't pass the practical
///Failed the not throwing up part
 
2007-04-09 05:42:08 PM  
submitter: So a deaf black lesbian with a chainsaw walks into a bar...

Why's it always gotta be about race, Subby? Can't a deaf lesbian with a chainsaw just be a deaf lesbian with a chainsaw?
 
2007-04-09 05:42:43 PM  
It's actually sort of relevant to the story that the woman was deaf and a lesbian, but what does her race matter?

/other than it happened in South Dakota
 
2007-04-09 05:43:30 PM  
ChairmanKaga:

/The whole thing sounds like a Tarantino wet dream.

Only if it has poor acting.
/Seriously, tarantino sucks
 
2007-04-09 05:43:47 PM  
but she sure plays a mean pinball!
 
2007-04-09 05:44:24 PM  
Jealousy rears its ugly ... CHAINSAW!

RRRRRRWRRRRRRRRWwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrr!
 
2007-04-09 05:44:57 PM  
eqtworld

FTA: prosecutors are expected to show jurors a video of a pig being dismembered with the same type of chainsaw Wright bought two days after VanderGiesen disappeared.

We get it, she used a chainsaw on the lady. Is this necessary? She did it, she goes to jail. I am sure the average person can imagine the scene without such a reenactment.


Perhaps they are trying to demonstrate that the wounds inflicted on the victim (surely there are photos in evidence) are the same as/similar to the ones that ended up on the pig. Apparently pigs bodies react like human bodies when cut, shot, etc.

However, I have to agree that there might be a slightly less visceral way to make the point (e.g. an expert witness).
 
2007-04-09 05:45:23 PM  
Pic of the dyke (no linky, sorry):

http://www.keloland.com/ClassLibrary/Page/Images/Data/11347.jpg
 
2007-04-09 05:46:28 PM  
Well, at least she didn't have to wear earplugs
 
2007-04-09 05:46:28 PM  
Didn't RTFA, but the "ultimate" minority would be a blind,left-handed lesbian albino midget Eskimo with a clubfoot.

Discuss.
 
2007-04-09 05:46:46 PM  
wonderful
 
2007-04-09 05:47:33 PM  
You'dnotcare
Pic of the dyke (no linky, sorry)


That's not a dyke. That's a black woman in a prison suit.

www.keloland.com
 
2007-04-09 05:47:33 PM  
She's just a attention whore
 
2007-04-09 05:47:33 PM  
choice and consequence:
It's actually sort of relevant to the story that the woman was deaf and a lesbian, but what does her race matter?

Sort of, since there were jury picking issues, mentioned in TFA.

NSA's overall story rating = :O
 
2007-04-09 05:48:07 PM  
BlankReg

Axe + Elbow Grease= Clean Getaway

People need to stop getting their crime advise from movies.


QED


thecia.com.au

 
2007-04-09 05:48:16 PM  
the "ultimate" minority would be a blind,left-handed lesbian albino midget Eskimo with a clubfoot.

would she still wear flannel?
 
2007-04-09 05:49:04 PM  
the_zodiac

I think you mean two clubfeet. That way, she'd be in a wheelchair and would fall under the ADA twice.
 
2007-04-09 05:49:15 PM  
It's really too bad she's gay. I'd love to set her up with him:

i149.photobucket.com
 
2007-04-09 05:49:28 PM  
goony gooboo
 
2007-04-09 05:50:50 PM  
There's 100% sincere, all natural bad acting (Glitter), then there's tongue in cheek bad acting (Airplane, and I suspect this Tarantino flick), then there's directors directing away every semblance of good acting until only the bad remains (Star Wars Episodes 1-3)
 
2007-04-09 05:50:50 PM  
HumbleGod

I'm incredibly disappointed that no one's yet mentioned the Left-Handed Lesbian Midget Eskimo Albino Student Union.


Either this is an incredible coincidence, or you and I know each other.

A buddy of mine in HS came up with the "Left-handed lesbian albino midget Eskimo" as the be-all end-all minority.

Del Valle, TX?
 
2007-04-09 05:51:32 PM  
dogdaze

In high school I knew a Jamaican/Filipino Lesbian Jew. If she'd been crippled she could have run for president and won it on the "farked at Birth" ticket. She was by far the hottest woman I've ever seen in my life. She also paid me my biggest compliment. She told me that if I was a girl, she would so lick that pussy. Only time I've ever wished I were a woman.
 
2007-04-09 05:51:46 PM  
And the bartender says "What is this, some kind of lame joke?"
 
2007-04-09 05:52:07 PM  
If she were in North Dakota someone would have gone through a wood chipper. Chainsaw ... HA
 
2007-04-09 05:52:14 PM  
whoa. wrong thread.
 
2007-04-09 05:52:18 PM  
The bartender says, "I guess you won't be needing a drink." And the lady says-

OH SHIIIIIIIIT!!!
 
2007-04-09 05:52:19 PM  
Ash is ftw.

/my BOOMstick
 
2007-04-09 05:52:46 PM  
cltbuilder: would she still wear flannel?

Don't forget the Birkenstocks.
 
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