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(Newsday)   Man tires of playing blackjack at casino; tries Russian roulette instead   (newsday.com) divider line 61
    More: Scary  
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9990 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Apr 2007 at 6:21 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-04-05 04:42:00 PM  
Did he win? Did he win? Did E Mao?
 
2007-04-05 04:54:47 PM  
Man, if I had to name the one place on Earth where no one would give a damn about someone violently shooting themselves, a casino would be it.
 
2007-04-05 04:57:17 PM  
Nick Chevotarevich named as a suspect.
 
2007-04-05 05:52:16 PM  
Better than most Vegas shows . . .

/utterly tasteless?
 
2007-04-05 06:09:27 PM  
Marty the blackjack dealer from Vegas Vacation movie wanted for questioning.
 
2007-04-05 06:13:33 PM  
If he'd played the slots just little longer, he'd have won the jackpot. Dumbass.

\Seriously, shame he decided to take himself out.
\\Lots of things to do in life besides hanging out, dying in casinos.
 
2007-04-05 06:21:44 PM  
"Entering the casino is not unlike entering a mall or shopping plaza," Pantano said.

I need to start shopping where this guy goes.
 
2007-04-05 06:24:19 PM  
Waitress, drink please ... and I'll need a napkin. Dealer split my aces..... King and a Jack! Sweet!
 
2007-04-05 06:28:03 PM  
In Alberta, VLTs literally suck the money from those who play them. I eat lunch out about twice a month and the same people at the same machine like clockwork.

I feel bad for them in a way. Like the Faces of Meth girl.

Gov't & business owners should take those machines out of the bars/lounges.
 
2007-04-05 06:28:44 PM  
I bet you could set yourself on fire inside of a bingo hall, and no one would notice or look up unless you yelled "BINGO!" first.
 
2007-04-05 06:30:09 PM  
The House ALWAYS wins.

/where's Boritom's pony?
 
2007-04-05 06:32:39 PM  
Offing yourself should be a private act, like making love or taking a dump. It would also be courteous to leave as little mess as possible.

Subjecting other people to that is just rude.
 
2007-04-05 06:33:10 PM  
Darwin award? Anyone?
 
2007-04-05 06:33:26 PM  
On the Canadian side of the Falls, the casino losers, who don't have access to handguns like their American cousins, jump over the Falls. This keeps it out of the casino, so people can continue gambling unidsturbed.

Gaming, I meant, gaming. Keep gaming.
 
2007-04-05 06:34:56 PM  
i heard about this guy playing thousand stacks at a craps table, won upwards of mil, then lost it all in one roll.
killed himself with a gun on the spot.

needless to say, it was a crap shoot.
 
2007-04-05 06:36:29 PM  
JesseL?

Offing yourself should be a private act, like making love or taking a dump. It would also be courteous to leave as little mess as possible.

Subjecting other people to that is just rude.


I beg to differ, it should be as public as possible. I think these people from bash.org had the right idea:


: Best suicide plan ever
: what is it?
: you go up to the top of a roof
: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level
: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched
: then you put super glue on your hands
: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head
: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows
: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.
: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.
: i dont think i can be your friend anymore
 
2007-04-05 06:39:37 PM  
2007-04-05 06:36:29 PM LittleBrother

The visuals....that's just hilarious. Nice find.
 
2007-04-05 06:42:57 PM  
Here's some other tidbits I heard:

-The guy offed himself in front of in front of his girlfriend who was a dealer at the next table.

-The guy was a funeral home director

/I was at that casino 2 days ago.
 
2007-04-05 06:44:31 PM  
Did he have a king of hearts?

/obscure?
// you bet!
///wow! a pun without even trying!
 
2007-04-05 06:46:49 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2007-04-05 06:50:20 PM  

first thing I thought of

www.ojaiwan.net

 
2007-04-05 06:53:40 PM  
img227.imageshack.us

Now standard equipment for the blackjack table.
 
2007-04-05 06:59:06 PM  
Note to deceased: It' "Pai-gow", not "Guy: Pow!"
 
2007-04-05 07:03:21 PM  
One lame joke killed the whole thing. Winner, ShillintheVillain.
 
2007-04-05 07:04:27 PM  
www.earache.com
give me another one!!!!!
 
2007-04-05 07:05:20 PM  
What a lousy gambler. The odds of surviving a point blank gunshot to the chest are very poor. He should've went for the legs.
 
2007-04-05 07:10:34 PM  
Guess he wasn't a good blackjack player OR a good Russian Roulette player.

/I'm registered in the big Russian Roulette tournament this weekend! Wish me luck!
 
2007-04-05 07:13:19 PM  
What enters the chest cavity, stays in the chest cavity.
 
2007-04-05 07:23:35 PM  
He shot himself in the chest? Huh! I thought most people went for the head when offing themselves.

(Personally I would jump off a very tall building. Less chance of pain/suffering, but it's pretty unlikely that I'm going to off myself any time soon.)
 
2007-04-05 07:25:38 PM  
If offing myself, I'd either shoot myself in front of a live webcam, or blow myself up in a landfil, see if anyone notices...
 
2007-04-05 07:28:43 PM  
okami36

How would you know if anyone noticed?
 
2007-04-05 07:34:59 PM  
If you blew yourself up in a landfill, everyone would know you had dandruff. They would see your Head and Shoulders everywhere.
 
2007-04-05 07:35:29 PM  
I'll just find somebody with a ouija board and ask, I guess.

/have not thought out my cunning plan all the way...
 
2007-04-05 07:42:35 PM  
owthathurts
how is the suicide king obscure?
Now if the guy had driven a sword through his head, that would have been fark-worthy
 
2007-04-05 07:43:58 PM  
img136.imageshack.us
 
2007-04-05 07:44:46 PM  
how is the suicide king obscure?

DOH!

I was trying to puzzle that out as a reference to G Gundam...

You make far more sense.
 
2007-04-05 07:49:51 PM  
I work in a casino.. and I find these posts amusing..

Actually, I do. As a Cocktail Server in an Indian Casino.

People who gamble are, umm.. Interesting at times.

A month ago, some guy had a heart attack at one of the machines. The paramedics were all around him, working on him, and the people at the machines never flinched. They stayed on their slots. Barely paying attention to the commotion.

(One customer asked me what happened to him, I jokingly said he forgot to tip his waitress.)

My favorite thing is how someone will say they are a diabetic, and send someone to get us to get them an orange juice or something. They would never consider leaving their machine to go get something if they were in a life threatening condition.

I really need to get my Hypnosis Business to a full time thing.
 
2007-04-05 07:50:01 PM  
Last June, a man jumped to his death from the fifth floor of the casino parking ramp, Pantano said.

Sounds like that casino is spreading all kinds of joy in that community.

images.google.com
 
2007-04-05 07:53:15 PM  
I bet you someone else commits suicide there within the year.
 
2007-04-05 08:11:06 PM  
So it sounds like he's moving up in the world.
 
2007-04-05 08:14:53 PM  
Suicides in Niagara Falls, NY are not uncommon. I don't think the casino has anything to do with MORE suicides. Probably the horrible economy and downhill run of the whole area is doing people in.

/resident
 
2007-04-05 08:15:27 PM  
i don'think its russian roulette if you don't use a revolver.
 
2007-04-05 08:43:02 PM  
It's polish roulette when you use a chambered semi-auto.
 
2007-04-05 08:44:01 PM  
FeeltheIllinoise

i don't think its russian roulette if you don't use a revolver.

Sure it is. But the odds are a whole lot worse.
 
2007-04-05 08:46:44 PM  
LoneVVolf

It's polish roulette when you use a chambered semi-auto.

Funnier and quicker. I'm going to go polish roulette myself.
 
2007-04-05 09:02:55 PM  
That reminds me of the off duty cop who shot himself at the table just after the Motor City casino opened in Detroit... not before emptying his bank account and maxing out his credit cards.

Sad? nope.
Scary? not one bit.

Pathetic.
 
2007-04-05 09:05:34 PM  
Last June, a man jumped to his death from the fifth floor of the casino parking ramp, Pantano said.

Fifth floor? Better land on your head or you could vegetize yourself.
 
2007-04-05 09:31:00 PM  
Russian roulette with an automatic....

Have you BEEN to Buffalo? It's not a place, it's a punishment.

/Parents are from Buffalo.
//Emphasis on from.
 
2007-04-05 10:09:44 PM  
*BOOOOOOOOOM* HE-

*READS ARTICLE*

Uh....... nevermind.
 
2007-04-05 10:11:19 PM  
JesseL: Offing yourself should be a private act, like making love or taking a dump. It would also be courteous to leave as little mess as possible.


....like making love or taking a dump.
 
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