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(London Times)   Everyone has forgotten the meaning of Easter. Including the person who's telling us that everyone's forgotten the meaning of Easter   (timesonline.co.uk) divider line 191
    More: Asinine  
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15610 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2007 at 5:22 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-04-04 05:29:42 AM  
"store gets egg on its face"
AND ITS A farkING EASTER STORY.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2007-04-04 05:30:56 AM  
The real meaning of Easter is congregating under the roof of a Roman church. Long live the Empire... or what's left of it, anyway.

Pagans were so much more fun.
 
2007-04-04 05:31:19 AM  
what pagan holiday used to fall on easter?
 
2007-04-04 05:31:39 AM  
For an insight into the readership of the Times, check out the comments. I can almost feel the smug superiority coming off their witty bon mots.
 
2007-04-04 05:35:05 AM  
haterade

That would be the Festival of Olestra. Celebrating unfortunate leakage and the sacrifice of many potatoes.
 
2007-04-04 05:35:37 AM  
what pagan holiday used to fall on easter?

... Esther. Fertility festival.

No, really.
 
2007-04-04 05:36:46 AM  
Lesseee.. which would I rather have - a country whose PR firms occasionally mix-up some of the details of first-century mythology or one that makes policy baed on them?
 
2007-04-04 05:37:00 AM  
The pagan holiday was called something like Easter, only with a slightly more crazy spelling - It's the name of the goddess of Spring, or bunnies or large DIY stores or something: I don't dare check on Wikipedia because every time I do I find something else interesting & lose half an hour. But it's do do with eggs, not Jeebus: Compare, for example, the derivation of oestregen (or however you spell that)
 
2007-04-04 05:38:33 AM  
Wasn't the pagan holiday called Cadburyanza, you know to honor the return of the rabbit that shiats chocloate creme eggs?
 
2007-04-04 05:39:08 AM  
Don't forget, the Romans were once pagans too before getting Christianity off on a roll.
 
2007-04-04 05:39:42 AM  
Wait, but Christ celebrated Passover during the Last Supper, right?

Meaning that his Resurrection would, by necessity, have to fall AFTER the 15th of Nisan each year, but because it's always on a Sunday and based on lunar cycles, it sometimes . . .

Oh, wait, it's NOT A CHRISTIAN HOLIDAY, and not in any way based on the birth, life, death, rebirth, resurrection or Top 40 hits of Christ, at ALL. God, I seem to always forget that, every damn year.

It's a pagan thing: eggs are for fertility, bunnies like shagging, with green grass, warm winds and bare boobies after a long, bad winter

HAIL EASTER!

/the more I learn about religion, the sillier it all seems
 
2007-04-04 05:40:34 AM  
Actually I guess instead of "Romans" I should say "Italians, Spanish, French, Portuguese, Romanians, Greeks, et al", because they didn't all just get abducted by aliens or anything.
 
2007-04-04 05:44:27 AM  
Pagan fertility festival - potential for orgy, drinking, dancing

Modern day "Christian" Easter - chastising from the clergy on how Jesus died for your sins and how we should all feel horrible, screaming kids on Easter egg hunts, uncomfortable Sunday clothes.....

Hmm, which would you rather be at?
 
2007-04-04 05:49:30 AM  
The choice for the date of Easter is an artifact of pagan conversion, much like Xmas, and has no historical basis in fact. Nevertheless many people are utterly convinced that these events happened on these days.
 
2007-04-04 05:50:03 AM  
Breaking news!

I dont give a fark what Easter is about, now pass the tequila were all doing shots! I love jeebus!!! w00t
 
2007-04-04 05:50:47 AM  
"Lesseee.. which would I rather have - a country whose PR firms occasionally mix-up some of the details of first-century mythology or one that makes policy baed on them?"

Hey, Odin TOLD us to invade Iraq.

And now he's got his eye on Iran...
 
2007-04-04 05:52:24 AM  
I'll get the limes and salt....
 
2007-04-04 05:52:39 AM  
www.fritriac.de

/Window, please.
 
2007-04-04 05:55:14 AM  
Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you,je'seus, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two beautiful, beautiful, handsome, striking sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox.
 
2007-04-04 05:59:50 AM  
For Christ's sake people, who gives a flying fark whether it's a celebration that gets parts from paganism, Judaism, or any other ism. It is what it is. Christianity adopted parts from other celebrations. Pagans probably adopted tidbits from other pagan sects too. Romans and Greeks were both pagans...look how similar the Roman Pantheon is to the Greek one. OMG, Romans are horrible for stealing pagan gods and goddesses!

This is what makes history interesting. Different cultures having influence over some things and absorbing elements from others. Without it, history would be pretty stagnant.
 
2007-04-04 06:03:16 AM  
And now he's got his eye on Iran...

I see what you did there.
 
2007-04-04 06:05:40 AM  
ThatBoomerKid


Wait, but Christ celebrated Passover during the Last Supper, right?

Meaning that his Resurrection would, by necessity, have to fall AFTER the 15th of Nisan each year, but because it's always on a Sunday and based on lunar cycles, it sometimes . . .


It all got screwed up after they changed to Nisan from Datsun.
 
2007-04-04 06:05:42 AM  
It's just another layer to the silliness of Christianity, UDel_Kitty.

Yes, Jesus and God are all-powerful but couldn't be bothered to tell us what day to celebrate on, or whether to celebrate at all. A mountain of such straws broke the back of this cynic. It's all a pile of lies.

And don't diss Romans.
 
2007-04-04 06:06:56 AM  
bastet.uncg.edu
 
2007-04-04 06:09:34 AM  
UDel_Kitty

I kinda prefer stagnate unchanging history to the kind that constantly changes to meet current needs.
 
2007-04-04 06:09:40 AM  
Ham.

Easter is about ham.

/and chocolate.
 
2007-04-04 06:11:12 AM  
easter is derived from eoster. go from there.
 
2007-04-04 06:14:58 AM  
What the hell does it have to do with the East anyway? Man, I went to Lutheran school for 6 years and I dont even know that. I want a refund on my parents behalf.
 
2007-04-04 06:19:34 AM  
Lutheran school huh... what do they teach you there, besides to have a seething hatred of catholics?
 
2007-04-04 06:19:47 AM  
And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the... wood on the cross. Well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it?

You know, people going, "Remember, kids," the kids who're eating the chocolate eggs, "Jesus died for your sins."
"Yeah, I know, it's great!"
"No, no no, it's bad, it's bad!"
" No, it's bad! It's very bad. It's terrible! Whatever you want, just keep giving me these eggs."

And the bunny rabbits! Where do they come into the crucifixion? There were no bunny rabbits up on the hill going, "Hey, what, are you going to put those crosses in our warrens? We live below this hill, all right?" Bunny rabbits are for shagging, eggs are for fertility. It's a festival - it's the spring festival!

/izzard
//jesus died for your peanut butter eggs
 
2007-04-04 06:27:35 AM  
Spring Break has more to do with the origins of easter than egg hunts or church services or the resurrection of some prophet.
 
2007-04-04 06:28:52 AM  
fruitloop

Brilliant.

And Jesus....born to a big jolly guy in a red suit.....
 
2007-04-04 06:30:53 AM  
fruitloop

Well if you're disillusioned with the current version of Easter, you could do it the old Roman way and burn some pregnant cows as an offering to Saturn.
 
2007-04-04 06:32:08 AM  
It has been suggested that Easter eggs represent the stone rolled in front of Jesus's tomb.

Wow, these freaks will retrofit anything.
 
2007-04-04 06:36:34 AM  
haterade: what pagan holiday used to fall on easter?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eostre

Your basic springtime pagan festival. See also Beltane, Mayday, etc.
 
2007-04-04 06:37:10 AM  
Bomb Head Mohammed: Lesseee.. which would I rather have - a country whose PR firms occasionally mix-up some of the details of first-century mythology or one that makes policy baed on them?

Maybe you should have a country that teaches you how to spell "based" correctly and teaches you about proper dental care?
 
2007-04-04 06:37:29 AM  
palad

fruitloop

Well if you're disillusioned with the current version of Easter, you could do it the old Roman way and burn some pregnant cows as an offering to Saturn.

Barbeque? Sweet, let me get some sauce, that'll go well with the tequila.....
 
2007-04-04 06:40:45 AM  
palad Lutheran school huh... what do they teach you there, besides to have a seething hatred of catholics?

Eh they never really talked about other religions much. Mostly bible lessons and how Jesus' teachings can be applied to everyday life, along with the standard curriculum of course. I've been to several similar churches and I feel most churches are like this. Even though I'm not religious, I think its great.

I read the silly church/religion bashing threads here at Fark, but most churches have good intentions and teach tolerance and respect for fellow man.

Its only the stupid ones that get headlines though.
 
2007-04-04 06:42:17 AM  
palad: It's just another layer to the silliness of Christianity, UDel_Kitty.

Yes, Jesus and God are all-powerful but couldn't be bothered to tell us what day to celebrate on, or whether to celebrate at all. A mountain of such straws broke the back of this cynic. It's all a pile of lies.

And don't diss Romans.


If you want to get really fundamental, there never was really a call to celebrate Christ's birth or resurrection, because it could be considered a form of idol worship. The dates picked to celebrate Christmas and Easter were to help pagans transition into Christianity. Most Christians know this already.
 
2007-04-04 06:44:39 AM  
I am so much cooler than regular people because I can flippantly remark about their religious holidays and beliefs.
 
2007-04-04 06:45:03 AM  
"/the more I learn about religion, the sillier it all seems"

This is the real reason why America has shiatty schools. If we had good ones, church membership would fall off.
 
2007-04-04 06:48:00 AM  
"It has been suggested that Easter eggs represent the stone rolled in front of Jesus's tomb."

I never heard this one. It does represent new life, and has pagan overtones. One of the Orthodox beliefs is that Mary the Madgaline used an egg to explain resurrection to a bunch of Romans at some dinner or something.
 
2007-04-04 06:49:19 AM  
Madgaline, Magdalene, same difference. Me bad at typing.
 
2007-04-04 06:50:09 AM  
It should be noted there was no one thing called "paganism".
Eostre was a Germanic holiday.

In Rome (ie the civilized world) they celebrated Fordicidia for the week following the Ides Aprilis (15th). It involved, among other things, the sacrifice of pregnant cows.
 
2007-04-04 06:54:51 AM  
the Billdozer:
The dates picked to celebrate Christmas and Easter were to help pagans transition into Christianity. Most Christians know this already.

I would argue that most Christians would be offended at the mere suggestion.
 
2007-04-04 06:55:45 AM  
Easter is the day zombie Jesus comes back from the dead in the form of a cute bunny rabbit to feed on the brains of the living.
 
2007-04-04 06:57:02 AM  
It has been suggested that Easter eggs represent the stone rolled in front of Jesus's tomb.

See, now I would have gone with the Reece's peanut butter cup.
 
2007-04-04 07:01:28 AM  
Easter...that's where Jesus pokes his head out of his cave and if he sees his shadow, there's three more weeks of spring, right?
 
2007-04-04 07:03:37 AM  
Screw Easter. Passover is where it's at.

"For the Messiah, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed for us." - 1 Corinthians 5:7b
 
2007-04-04 07:08:40 AM  
I'm a Pastafarian so my opinion (as my grammer and spelling) do not count.

BUT...

Why would the most important event on the Christian calender (I used to be one) Change every year? Should I blame it on the Jewish calender (which I have no knowledge of) or the fact that early Christians hijacked every pagan celebration to get more converts?

/I confuse, you decide.
 
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