Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SFGate)   I snorted my father, says Keith Richards -- and really, who here hasn't?   ( ) divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

14323 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2007 at 4:18 PM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

180 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

2007-04-03 06:03:47 PM  
SmeggySurf: Has no concept of compare and contrast
/is a moron

2007-04-03 06:08:09 PM  
AniMAL!!! Snort drums! Snort cymbals!
2007-04-03 06:09:26 PM

(with apologies to tony millionaire!)
2007-04-03 06:10:48 PM  
The nice thing is, when Keith dies, his ashes will have a legitimate street value of about $2.7 million an ounce.
2007-04-03 06:14:01 PM  
The 1975 tour of the Americas.(p) Keef was beyond heroinized. Still the Greatest. Beautiful red jumpsuit there Woody.
2007-04-03 06:14:17 PM  
I laughed so hard, the other guy's pee came out of my nose!
2007-04-03 06:16:32 PM  
WOAH! VIDEO of the Sympathy for the Devil(p) from the The 1975 tour of the Americas. Astounding.
2007-04-03 06:24:11 PM  
For me, it was the funniest headline of the day. Bravo.
2007-04-03 06:27:20 PM  
Wolfy: Who is going to snort Keith Richards when he dies?

Dude, count me in.

2007-04-03 06:30:25 PM  
2007-04-03 04:23:16 PM carmody

That's nothing compared to huffing Abraham Lincoln's morning breath. It's the most powerful hallucinogen known to man, and they keep it locked up in the National Archives.


What's that from?

When I die, I want some money set aside for a big party with plenty of booze and cigars. (I plan on being cremated.) In addition, the guests will be encouraged to tap the ashes into my urn.

Once the party is over, my next of kin will take a boat out into Lake Chelan and dump my remains into the water.
2007-04-03 06:32:37 PM  
Oh, Keith, don't ever change.
2007-04-03 06:32:53 PM  
This is Keith's attempt to plug his new Pirate movie where he plays Depp's dad. This scene was cut however. Instead, Johnny just gets laid by a 2,000 year old corpse and has to eat her face off. You know - it's Disney!
2007-04-03 06:33:11 PM  
soupnyc807: Not impressed.

"I think...I.. just..saw the funniest thing I'll ever see. And I... think...I...blew a funny fuse."
2007-04-03 06:34:27 PM  
I never snorted my Dad, but I DID sniff Subby's Mom
2007-04-03 06:39:29 PM  
the only guy in the world who could star in a zombie movie and not need make up. Let alone may already be a live zombie.
2007-04-03 06:39:36 PM  
I came here to read the Denis Leary comments, and now I can leave satisfied.
2007-04-03 06:42:05 PM  
The_Sponge, and then the giant dragon that lives in the lake can filter your ashy goodness through his nostrils.
/Get off my Chelawn
//heh, heh
2007-04-03 06:50:05 PM  
Author Anne Lamott wrote about tasting the ashes of a friend. Somehow it seemed a little more tender then.
2007-04-03 06:54:53 PM  
carmody: i'm with you. sf sorrow is great, but c'mon, the stones can turn around with beggars banquet, let it bleed, exile, sticky fingers, etc. the pretty things never ever left pub rock behind.
2007-04-03 06:58:54 PM  
At one point, before he died, did his dad say "Eat me"???
2007-04-03 06:59:56 PM  
cynic32, oh come on.....who here hasn't tasted, or hasn't been tempted to taste, the ashes of a loved one or loved pet?
I've sampled the remains of all of my pets and my brother. Maybe I just loved them so much I wanted to make them a part of me. This really isn't that sick, but it is FARK. So we can laugh at it, right?
/my husband now jokingly calls me his trophy troll
//developed troll-shaped back and shoulders since joining fark
2007-04-03 07:01:20 PM  
I grok it
2007-04-03 07:02:08 PM  
I am unimpressed. Tom Cruise munching down on a placenta now that is impressive.
Keith reminds me of the Greek myth where the lover of a Goddess gets immortality granted by Zeus. She forgot to ask for eternal beauty, and eventually he turns into a grasshopper. Keith is just a hop and a skip away.
2007-04-03 07:02:30 PM  
shipofthesun: thanks for that gem - god they sound shambolic. brilliant - much better than a video i have from '68.
2007-04-03 07:08:08 PM  
HA! That's awesome.
2007-04-03 07:16:14 PM  
FTFA:"I was No. 1 on the `who's likely to die' list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list,"

Please don't mention this to Keith but, there's only one way to get your name off that list...
2007-04-03 07:25:16 PM  
de_Selby: shipofthesun: thanks for that gem - god they sound shambolic. brilliant - much better than a video i have from '68.

That's what I'm saying. Around the 7 minute mark when the dancers are out there and the rhythm section is cooking and Keef and Charlie are doing that mind meld thing...the absolute pinnacle of what rock is and could be.
2007-04-03 07:26:27 PM  
Aw, MONSTERTRUCK,you've brought a tear to my eye...
2007-04-03 07:31:04 PM  
Which eye?
2007-04-03 07:35:59 PM  
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)

Worked in bars and sideshows along the twilight zone
Only a crowd can make you feel so alone
And it really hit home
Booze and pills and powders, you can choose your medicine
Well it's another goodbye to another good friend

After all is said and done
Gotta move while it's still fun
Let me walk before they make me run
After all is said and done
I gotta move, it's still fun
I'm gonna walk before they make me run

Watched the taillights fading, there ain't a dry eye in the house
They're laughing and singing
Started dancing and drinking as I left town
Gonna find my way to heaven, `cause I did my time in hell
I wasn't looking too good but I was feeling real well

After all is said and done
I gotta move I had my fun
Let us walk before they make me run

After all is said and done
I did alright, I had my fun
I will walk before they make me run

2007-04-03 07:37:32 PM  
I'm Keith Richards' father and I'm getting a kick out of these replies.
2007-04-03 07:38:50 PM  
Ozzie snorted a line of live ants.

That is all.
2007-04-03 07:40:59 PM  

/what have I been snorting?
2007-04-03 07:45:58 PM  
Doctor please
Some more of these
My father goes
Straight up my nose
2007-04-03 07:49:27 PM  

Ask and ye shall recieve. THE FARKING NEW BARBARIANS!(p)

Also, The X-pensive Wino's(p). I saw the first night of the tour, this is the last night.
2007-04-03 07:53:49 PM  
noob. maybe if he booted his dad I would be impressed.

wonder if the drip tasted like dads balls....
2007-04-03 07:55:51 PM  
That's intense. I can't handle it.

shipofthesun: Nice. Especially like the guitar as it hits into the first couple choruses. Humble start, full chorus.

Keith Richards is a superb rhythm guitarist, and by default a competent/great soloist. Wrote tons of great riffs, and always filled out the songs--unlike about 90% of the marketed bands today (who can play chords, then play more chords with, you know, feeling). But the stones can never finish a song without dragging it out when they play live...

/I wish I had his chops with Jimmy Page's soloing ability
//after 17 years, I'm still too slow to solo just like Page but I can play all the Stones stuff
///which is nice
2007-04-03 07:55:56 PM  
Here's hoping Richards dies REAL soon. Hate his guts, but he should give all his $$$ away. I would, however, fark his daughters. I'm sure they're sluts.
2007-04-03 07:57:05 PM  
What a coincidence.
When Axl Rose was asked what the strangest thing that had been in his body, he said it was his uncle.

/waitress, veal, etc
2007-04-03 08:09:56 PM  
The_Philosopher_King: I grok it
May you always drink deep.

Was anyone here really surprised when they read this about Keith?
2007-04-03 08:10:23 PM  
Zombie Flanders: Keith Richards is a superb rhythm guitarist, and by default a competent/great soloist.

"Rhythm guitar is lead guitar." - Keef
2007-04-03 08:13:03 PM

Robin Williams on Keith Richards.....and Miss Cleo
2007-04-03 08:14:19 PM
Q: Why does Keef look like this?
2007-04-03 08:16:32 PM  
shipofthesun: "Rhythm guitar is lead guitar." - Keef

That's the perfect way to describe Keith Richards, and also a heck of an ethos.
2007-04-03 08:20:22 PM  
The Rolling Stones became a product. The Pretty Things stayed a band. Their lyrics were usually a damn sight better than the Stones'. Phil May was always a better vocalist than Mick Jagger, and he still is. Keith Richards looks like a dessicated corpse, while Dick Taylor looks like a respectable old gentleman. Sure, the Pretties weren't perfect, but neither were the Stones.

some great vintage 1966 silly stuff:
2007-04-03 08:23:19 PM  
actually the clips look/sound like 1964-5, I think 1966 was the broadcast date on Swedish TV...
2007-04-03 08:30:10 PM  
2007-04-03 09:05:37 PM  
True or bull shiat?

Who can tell; knowing what I know about Keith, he could have
ACTUALLY done it or just being pulling our collective leg.

Me? I dunno, I guess I lean to him having done it.

I had my uncle's ashes in my trunk for a few weeks and asked a girlfriend if she wanted to meet him; she laughed when I opened the box but it wasn't one of those
'Oh youre funny'laughs, more like one of those 'youre one sick bastard' laughs.
2007-04-03 09:11:48 PM  
Keith Richards is already dead and has been for quite some time. It's just that nobody bothered to tell his vital organs.

But seriously, does that make him a cannibal? Did it affect the quality of the blow that it was cut with his pop's ashes? And is it as interesting to everyone else that this had to have happened within the last 5 years? The guy is what all other pairs of balls look up to and admire for the way he tackles his own mortality. "Just don't give a fark," right Keith?
2007-04-03 09:15:31 PM  
And to weigh in on the "would you or wouldn't you" question, HELLS YES I WOULD SNORT KEITH RICHARDS' ASHES. I would snort his ashes before I would consider snorting cocaine. Why?

#1: I think he's be okay with it and with whoever wanted to do it.
#2: Just to say I did.
#3: I would snort him with the hopes that he would possess me and either make me some kind of psycho possessed guy or one helluva guitarist or both. (Preferably both.)
Displayed 50 of 180 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

In Other Media

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.