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(Breitbart.com)   Today's headline: Eighth graders feed classmates laxative-laced doughnuts. Tomorrow's headline: Doughnuts outlawed in public school   (breitbart.com) divider line 50
    More: Dumbass  
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3420 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Mar 2007 at 3:51 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2007-03-30 03:12:34 PM
What's more fun is knowing what the active ingredient of ex-lax is, where to obtain it, and how to use it properly.
 
2007-03-30 03:55:52 PM
Meh, I think they should outlaw eighth graders.
 
2007-03-30 03:55:55 PM
That's just shiatty.
 
2007-03-30 03:56:18 PM
AWESOME
 
2007-03-30 03:58:21 PM
It's a good thing TFA has the word "doughnut" as a hyperlink just in case I want to keep reading up on doughnuts after checking out the dumpnuts this kid served.
 
2007-03-30 03:58:25 PM
Well, as a 50-something man, that sounds like a GOOD IDEA
 
2007-03-30 03:58:29 PM
Of course police were investigating, there were doughnuts involved.
 
2007-03-30 04:01:07 PM
If they would just ban schools, this would never happen.

/nothin'
 
2007-03-30 04:01:30 PM
Gimme one of those Metamucil bear claws and a couple of Colon Cleanse long Johns.
 
2007-03-30 04:02:29 PM
lol'd at dumpnuts, doctor funk
 
2007-03-30 04:02:51 PM
Well as long as nobody is getting sued I guess that's all that counts right?
 
2007-03-30 04:03:16 PM
They still allow doughnuts in public schools? I thought that had gone the way of soda machines.
 
2007-03-30 04:03:49 PM
Leisure Suit Larry
Of course police were investigating, there were doughnuts involved.

oooo that made me lol

so the kids cleaned out their system.. i dont see what the big deal is

/practical jokes are taken way to seriously
//i miss the good ol days
///slashies are fun
 
2007-03-30 04:04:09 PM
"What precautionary measures can the school possibly be taking?"
"Depends on the student."
 
2007-03-30 04:04:30 PM
That brings back memories. A girl in my 8th grade class brought in brownies with Exlax
 
2007-03-30 04:04:49 PM
Police were investigating and parents were been informed about the situation.

Uhhh...what?
 
2007-03-30 04:04:58 PM
Great Headline.

+1

/Where's the vote button?
 
2007-03-30 04:06:55 PM
LOL.. that's a pretty good prank.

I see this kid having his own show on MTV in a few years.

Jackass:The next generation.
 
2007-03-30 04:07:01 PM
It's laxative, not cyanide. At the worst the kids will take a healthy dump... I bet it was the janitor's idea to let the parents pick them up.

I do wonder how they knew there was a laxative in them if the kids are all feeling well?
 
2007-03-30 04:07:14 PM
If doughnuts are outlawed, only outlaws will have doughnuts.


/sorry
 
2007-03-30 04:09:28 PM
NikkiPoooo

Not if you give too much of the wrong one, if you get too much phenolphthalein you basically try to expel your entire digestive tract. Hilarity does not ensue, though cancer may
 
2007-03-30 04:09:57 PM
Wasn't there a case recently where the kids put ex-lax in some food, gave it to the teachers, and got charged with assault?

You gotta love law consistency.
 
2007-03-30 04:10:44 PM
Nice to know some things about kids never change! Who hasn't done the Ex-Lax chocolate icing prank!?!
 
2007-03-30 04:10:48 PM
General hilarity like this is what makes school of any sort - especially collegiate level - worth while. Who wouldn't have liked to do this to someone during their shool days? I can already think of about 10 names from my school who SHOULD have had something like this happen to them - and that doesn't count teachers!

Sign those 8th graders up for advanced classes!!!!!
 
2007-03-30 04:10:54 PM
Hypergeek_1984
If doughnuts are outlawed, only outlaws will have doughnuts.

I lollered.
 
2007-03-30 04:11:57 PM
Ambulances?
 
2007-03-30 04:12:16 PM
Here's a link to a more detailed article. My html-fu is weak so cutty/pastey.

http://www.newsday.com/news/local/longisland/ny-lilax0331,0,3775935.story?coll =ny-hsports-headlines&track=mostemailedlink

Apparently, the turtle popped out of its shell when one of the student's gave a doughnut to a health teacher who "who took a bite out of it and realized there was something in it." Translation - "The teacher knew there was a problem when she immediately had to go drop the Cosby kids off at the pool."

pvd021
LOL.. that's a pretty good prank.
I see this kid having his own show on MTV in a few years.
Jackass:The next generation.


That's almost prophetic, dude. From this article:

The boys said they laced the doughnuts with the laxative as a copycat prank spawned by what they saw on a recent TV show, he said.

"They just said they had seen something on MTV, but I don't know which show," Kopp said.
 
2007-03-30 04:12:31 PM
Shouldn't it be bucknuts or doevagina?
 
2007-03-30 04:15:58 PM
A constipation thread followed by a laxative thread. Just keepin' is regular, yo.
 
2007-03-30 04:17:17 PM
Doctor Funkenstein: It's a good thing TFA has the word "doughnut" as a hyperlink just in case I want to keep reading up on doughnuts after checking out the dumpnuts this kid served.

You can kill those via Firefox, using a Greasemonkey script that blocks "intellitxt" links. They were driving me nuts, since I need to read music-related articles all day, and I was getting little pop-up hyperlinks triggered by common words like "music" or "guitar" or other words I read/write 10,000 times a day.
 
2007-03-30 04:18:56 PM
serpent_sky

Sweet. I'll check that out. Thanks.
 
2007-03-30 04:21:10 PM
Man, those laxatives are gonna play hell on the sewer systems:

2007-03-30 01:18:03 PM Ennzie


I_am_jesus:YOU ARE A SEWER CLEANER. YOU CLEAN shiat CLOGS OUT OF THE SEWER SO THAT shiat CAN FREELY FLOW AGAIN. AND YOU ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT A LITTLE BLOOD?

Darn frickin right he's complaining about it. One, it's the fat people like you that clog sewers with your greasy shiat so that these people have to come and unclog the sewer so you don't get shiat backing up into your basement all day long. Two, 99.5% of the water in a sewer is clean water, and the other 0.5% rests on the bottom. The sewers also aren't plugged up enough that it's going to spary up the manhole and all over the workers. What most likely happened here was that the workers got a call to a plugged sewer, which the lab probably called and complained about, and when the jet was put into the sewer it went through the plug with extremely high pressure, causing a torrent of blood to spew back at them. So before you start spewing shiat out of your own mouth, look up some facts about the situation, and who it really at fault.

/my rant for the day
//used to clean sewers with the same equipment
///even took a course on wastewater collection
//so bite me
 
2007-03-30 04:23:32 PM
This is what all schools do when they can't actually solve a problem, because there was no real way to prevent it.

After Columbine happened all the high schools near my hometown banned trenchcoats. Because trenchcoats were the problem, apparently.
 
2007-03-30 04:23:52 PM
Why does everyone think laxatives take effect instantly?
 
2007-03-30 04:24:38 PM
FLMountainMan

Heh - I think you crossed the poop-thread streams.
 
2007-03-30 04:33:00 PM
razordu30 After Columbine happened all the high schools near my hometown banned trenchcoats. Because trenchcoats were the problem, apparently.

"No doves!"
 
2007-03-30 04:34:24 PM
Where I live, they've banned laxatives from all the stores because of stuff like this.

Really.

I'm not sh*tting.
 
2007-03-30 04:36:30 PM
Juvenile hall. Assault.

Anything else would be stupid.

Speaking of stupid, a prank does not involve injury. Giving someone intestinal cramps from an overdose of laxatives is not a prank. If you're too stupid to pull a prank without hurting someone, please go kill yourself.
 
2007-03-30 04:43:43 PM
This is why farkin' "potluck" food is the worst idea ever. Try opting out of it at the office, though, and everyone thinks you're anti-social.

Damn straight.
 
2007-03-30 04:44:10 PM
smitty, was that a Cyrano joke?
 
2007-03-30 04:44:49 PM
While it seems funny, this kind of thing is pretty harsh to do to someone. A friend of mine did this to his older brother (corksucker deserved it, too) with x-lax pills, using Taco Bell as the carrier. The victim was farked up for days, and it wasn't really funny after the first few hours he spent in the bathroom. I think severe diarrhea can also dehydrate a person to the point that it can be life-threatening (but I'm no medical authority).
If someone did that to me I would consider it a poisoning attempt and would respond accordingly.

/did I mention the dickhead deserved it?
 
2007-03-30 04:45:21 PM
xebeche_tzu: Juvenile hall. Assault.

Anything else would be stupid.

Speaking of stupid, a prank does not involve injury. Giving someone intestinal cramps from an overdose of laxatives is not a prank. If you're too stupid to pull a prank without hurting someone, please go kill yourself.


wow...
Someone got Metamusil muffins in school I see....
 
2007-03-30 04:45:46 PM
hah. in highschool we got ahold of some exlax chocolates. We were trying to figure out who to give them to when a buddy of ours comes running up to us and asks for a piece. we thought he was in on the gag so we gave him a huge chunk, enough to give about 4 people the runs. He ate the whole thing infront of us. haha the look on our faces was almost as priceless as the look on his face when we told him what he had just done.
He missed school the next day. haha
 
2007-03-30 04:53:25 PM
xebeche_tzu: Speaking of stupid, a prank does not involve injury. Giving someone intestinal cramps from an overdose of laxatives is not a prank. If you're too stupid to pull a prank without hurting someone, please go kill yourself.

You're being a Stiffly Stifferson. I hate Stiffly Stiffersons. I wanna prank them for hours in my basement.

/SNL ftw
 
2007-03-30 04:55:35 PM
Will this cause them to go into law enforcement?
 
2007-03-30 05:04:35 PM
i had a much better headline:

April Fool's Day prank involving laxatives, doughnuts goes horribly well

/maybe not...
 
2007-03-30 05:12:00 PM
Newsflash: Some kids to have a shiatty weekend!!

/when the fark did this shiat become newsworthy?!
 
2007-03-30 06:47:56 PM
Hypergeek_1984
If doughnuts are outlawed, only outlaws cops will have doughnuts.

//There fixed it for you
 
2007-03-31 01:16:37 PM
We did that with brownies when I was pledging a fraternity house. We had one of our girlfriends drop them off for us saying she wanted to be nice to us pledges during our initiation week. The active members stole the brownies, serves them right.... We would have gotten away with it but one of our guys couldn't hold in the laughter when a couple of the members were both complaining of having the shiats the next morning. Pretty sure we got our arses beat for that stunt.
 
2007-03-31 10:26:10 PM
22.275 Hz, -30 dB.
 
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