meepozoid:

That's severely farked up.

I'll say "No" because it's better to be safe, but we don't know what this lady thinks "molested" is. Touched naughty bits??? You're dead to me. Played too roughly and someone got dropped on their head? Be more careful next time...

Prudence Insert an andiron into his skull

What kind of high-falutin' puffery is this? Round where I'm from, we just take them pederasts out in the car-hole and brain 'em with a regular old shovel.

I love how the letter writer and article are somewhat vague about little details like age, the nature of the "molestation" and other details, leaving it to the hotheaded kneejerks to make up an instant opinion and REACT to the story.
Boneheads. Too many variables left unaddressed here.
Barnum was right. You suckers are born once a minute.

Resin33

Child molester? It said he briefly fondled her daughter. How do we know she's not a 17 year old hottie.

If one of my friends briefly fondled my 17 year old daughter I'd give him a date with a 2X4 to the back of the head.

I bet this was a young couple who had a daughter young and, like her parents, she sexually matured at what some consider an early age. She was horny and curious, and daddy's friend, who was even a few years younger than daddy, was totally super cute!

After I turned 18, I had to stop hanging out at my parent's (admittedly KICK @$$) house parties. All of their friends were younger than them, and they all had kids who eventually started hitting puberty. I guess when you're 14 and at a party with a bunch of 40-year-olds, the 18-year-old guy starts looking better and better.

One guy got all pissed off that his daughter was talking to me because she was "only 15". Nevermind that I was 18 and had older friends dating younger girls in highschool... So I stopped being there when they had parties.

If this "young daughter" is under 15 or 16 then there's no excuse or pretense of innocence. You felt up a little kid. If this girl is a freshman at the local community college, you better be prepared for your hot, young male friends to be sinking themselves right in when you step into the kitchen for more chips...

If one of my friends briefly fondled my 17 year old daughter I'd give him a date with a 2X4 to the back of the head.

Deal.

Someone actually had to ask this question?

After reading the remaining questions, yes.

How old is the kid? The guy next door calls his 17yo "his little girl" still. It doesn't change things but still.

/has parties
//no booze if the kids are invited

digital

LOL Peter North. Well, we really don't know whether the girl almost drowned in spunk. Guess if the child was actually molested it would be more like a Max Hardcore vid, eh?

/if I get one more SPAM telling me I can produce the volume that North does...

I like this Dear Prudie person. She is very blunt and right on target (read the other responses). I hate to say this, but she sounds more like a man. Perhaps it's because I'm so used the the overly PC Dear Abby.

I'd just like to shake that miserable woman who is actually considering letting her daughter's molester into the house and handing him a drink. If I were in her place, I'd put a big sign on his lawn "Baby Molester" and endeavor to make his worthless life miserable.

The second wife that is so uptight because he has contact with his ex and family deserves to lose him. Hello? They have a history and kids. We are set to go camping with my husbands ex and their two kids over Easter. We are a weird family. but if divorce has to happen, then this is the way that is best for all concerned - especially the kids.

El_Dan

When I was 17, my aunt drunkenly grabbed my ass at a christmas party. I dismissed it as an alcohol-induced mistake and have never held it against her, or even said anything about it.

Nice, so does the rest of your family bring condoms to familly reunions?

hmm... I think this woman should be calling a divorce attorney instead of an advice columnist. Why would you want to be married to someone that stays friends with a person that molests your child?

I can't even believe that they bothered to answer this question. This wife is clearly a moron for even considering her husband's request that this guy attend the party.

Yeah, I divorce the father who sides with his molester friend over his daughter. God, YUCK!

If my best friend did anything remotely like this to my daughter, my wife wouldn't have to deal with issues like this. She'd have pulled his still-beating heart through his rib cage and shoved it up his ass before he knew what was happening.

Jeff73

now I want to listen to some Huey Lewis

thelordofcheese

most of the SPAM in my email is "offshore pharmacies" selling viagra or cialis.(I have no idea why levitra isn't as popular). As is I don't get enough "no apparent reason boners" throughout the day.

/khakis and silk boxers are bad news when you have to give rpesentations at work.
//"no thanks, i'll sit down for this one..."

whats the big deal, did the guy leave without paying?

Drunkenly fondling someones child at a party is pretty effing wrong.

Newsflash: IF MOLESTING MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY IS SOMETHING A PERSON MIGHT DO, THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND. PEOPLE WHO HURT YOU OR THOSE YOU CARE ABOUT ARE NOT FRIENDS.

Anyone who says 'he was drunk' as an excuse should die in a fire.

This is just a shot in the dark here, but if the husband had that sort of non-reaction to the incident, I would start looking into the hubby's behaviour towards children as well. Just seems fishy to me. I could understand being conflicted about it, but to be that blase about it...

Granted, this is only from a snippet of an advice column, but still...

The Slate columnist had the right idea at least. It is sad to see the continued pussification of America. Long ago in a situation like this, one of the parents would have killed the bastard. On the spot.

A girl I know, who was 19 at the time, went out one night and got drunk with her best friend, then crashed at her friend's house. A couple hours later, her friend's dad woke her up. He wasn't wearing any pants. She immediately puked all over him and passed out again. She never told her friend, and the dad never mentioned the incident again.

Friend's dad was a no-show at her wedding, though.

Oh and for all you so called 'men' who are just badass enough to horribly torture and possibly kill the person who hurt your child: Way to go moran. Getting hauled off to jail when your kid needs you most, and thereby robbing them of someone they will desperately need to be there and be stable for them during a horrendously difficult time makes you a really, really bad father.

Suck it up, let the courts take a shot at him and BE THERE FOR THE KID. I know it sucks but grow a pair and do your job, be a father.

NCg8r: After I turned 18, I had to stop hanging out at my parent's (admittedly KICK @$$) house parties. All of their friends were younger than them, and they all had kids who eventually started hitting puberty. I guess when you're 14 and at a party with a bunch of 40-year-olds, the 18-year-old guy starts looking better and better.

See this slightly scares me because most of our friends are young or younger than us.

Makes me wonder what sort effort Im going to need to curb my behavoirs both with open and closed doors.

Wow he still has his hands intact?

I dont care who it would tick off. Hell no.

While this is just an all around distasteful situation, I have to agree with some of the previous posters. If the 'young' daughter is sexually mature, like many 15 or 16 yr olds are, then I will cut the guy *a little* slack, very bad form to be sure, but not sick from a biological perspective. If it was a little girl, then he should have got a 2x4 to the back of the head, and the wife should be filing for divorce instead of being worried about the etiquette of exposing her child to people with a history of molestation.

If the molester's wife left him and his life "fell apart" as they said in the letter, then I'm guessing this kid was really, really young. And if it was bad enough for all that to happen, then wtf is the husband doing inviting him to a party?

/rehab can't work for everything, and sorry isn't always enough

orrclover

Then they were probably not worthy of their responsibility to their child.

'Hey kid! That guy who molested you was horribly killed by one of your parents, who will be in jail for the next few years. Don't worry, not your fault. Have a nice life!"

Way to go.

I'm not saying he was right or anything, but this whole "young daughter" thing seems like she's trying to make it worse than it already was. I know girls that are 20 whose parents still think they're virgins. So a 40 or 50 year old "fondling" her (which could just mean an ass grab or pat) would still be very offensive and should be reprimanded, still shouldn't mean the dissolution of a decades long friendship. If the girl was younger than 15 and the fondling was serious/genital, then there's no way in hell charges wouldn't have been pressed. He was drunk, he went to 'rehab', let the daughter go out with friends and get fondled by kids her own age while he's at the party or something. Still a douchetard.

I remember my cousin's 16th birthday. One of her uncles (who I"m not related to) came up to her in the kitchen full of other people (including her mom), grabbed her crotch and asked her "so is this ripe yet?" or something along those lines.


She just giggled like it was no big deal.

I don't even remember alcohol being involved.

So do we have an answer yet? How old was the "little girl" when she got diddled? This is a key factor in determining wether to High-Five 'im or take out his knee caps with a crow bar. We need ANSWERS people!

/also, does she put out now?
//Rrrowr!
///Paedophile_Deluxe, NikolaiFarkoff to do battle FTW

The_one_with_that_guy
This is just a shot in the dark here, but if the husband had that sort of non-reaction to the incident, I would start looking into the hubby's behaviour towards children as well.

No shiat. If it was a friend of mine, and my daughter... it wouldn't matter what age my daughter was! Once the daughter was over 21 I'd let her deal with it, but I doubt that's the case since if she was that old she would be the one deciding whether or not to press charges, not the parents. Frankly, even if your daughter is 16 or 17... your friend is likely 20 years older than her AT LEAST... and has likely been around since she was a child... how would that be different than an uncle... or Woody Allen...

Catchatorie

Dude, that's farked up even for Fark.

/Niiice

The real question du jour is 'does anyone really read Slate?'.

What an e-rag.

Of course invite him in... It's so much easier than dragging the body around in public

Sounds like the "friend" probably gave "hubby" 20 bucks to fondle the daughter.

Get rid of someone who does not care about the well being of your children.

They are going to be farked over in a zero tolerance school system, in a world that would rather let a molester walk the street than someone who smokes a joint. At least let the kids be safe in their own home.

I must say that I'm rather disappointed... I was expecting more "You gonna get RAPED" images...

:o(

I think *some* men think that if there is no penetration and if there was alcohol involved, it is not as bad. Still, jeeze, most men lose that perspective when it is their own daughter. The father's attitude blows my mind.

As for the woman, I don't really censure her. What she is facing is very typical. She hates the man who fondled her kid and doesn't want him around her. However her husband says- jeeze, honey stop being so judgemental. This guy is going to counselling, and trying to turn his life around. He is being repentant, and isn't being compassionate towards a repentant sinner a good thing?

What it boils down to is - Repentance. We are all taught that it is a good thing, and we should be magnanimous. But I am surely not going to be comfortable around someone who touched my kid, no matter what he did to ensure it never happened. Forgiveness, and second chances are great in theory but bloody difficult to practise.

NikolaiFarkoff: If he's the only clown in the yellow pages, you don't have much choice.

G-d Danm it, you owe me a new diet pepsi (and probably a new monitor as well. Top 5 post of the year as far as I'm concerned. I didn't even read the other 70+ posts after that. Well played, sir, well played.

zialu: If the molester's wife left him and his life "fell apart" as they said in the letter, then I'm guessing this kid was really, really young. And if it was bad enough for all that to happen, then wtf is the husband doing inviting him to a party?

Because she probably wasn't that young. Wifey likely left because he was a philandering 'grabber' in general.

I wouldn't care if my daughter was 21, I'd be pissed if my husband's "best friend" touched her, kissed her, whatever...ick!

BrotherTheodore: Not that I could forgive any "indescretion" regardless of the girl's age, but I think it would be instant divorce if it was a little kid, imho. Not to mention the requisite andiron to the sack.

Aeon Rising

Holy cow I feel very sorry for you, what a horrible life you must have lived. A good father would be willing to kill a childs monsters and not ever let the risk run that the monster could return. I would feed this entire planet to a woodchipper to keep my child safe, a rapist life is forfit by default. My boys safety means far more than my freedom or my life, they can come see me on visiting days on deathrow so I can tell them it was still all worth it every time I see them....stay in school, ect.

Dude, dont have kids, you dont treat them like pets. Your children are worth more than your very soul. The devil can shove a pitchfork up my rectum for eternity in a lake of fire if it will keep my boys safe and secure.

/God help you.

what about a seder?

This is so beyond forgiveness or redemption. There is no forgiveness for child molesters, not in MY house, not if you hurt MY children...I dont care if she was 6 or 16! It was obviously unwelcomed! Thus the word "molested"!!!
Frankly, my lawyer would be serving my husband divorce and custody papers, if I was this mama!
Outrageous!

I have lurked on Fark for years and today I am finally loosing faith in humanity I fear.
Lets list exactly how wrong this whole thing really is.

Man grabs 'friends' kid at party.
It matters to some people if he was drunk or not.
Parents of child protect him from the law (WTF?).
Father invites him back (WTF?).
Mother says she will think about it (WTF?).

Aeon Rising

Oh and for all you so called 'men' who are just badass enough to horribly torture and possibly kill the person who hurt your child: Way to go moran. Getting hauled off to jail when your kid needs you most, and thereby robbing them of someone they will desperately need to be there and be stable for them during a horrendously difficult time makes you a really, really bad father.

This must be coming from someone who doesn't live in an area with thousands of miles of unpopulated desert, access to a backhoe, bags of lye, and 2 friends who wouldn't talk for any reason.