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(Some Guy)   The NFL All-Criminal Team. This roster makes The Gridiron Gang look like a bunch of saints (religious saints that is, not the ones from New Orleans)   (thephatphree.com) divider line 25
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1590 clicks; posted to Sports » on 28 Mar 2007 at 3:31 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-03-28 01:55:35 AM
What a great line-up designed to murder the opposition. I can just imagine O.J. slicing through the defense and heading for the endzone like a charging bronco!
I have an idea for the All-Criminal Team jerseys. All black, with stylish white stripes. And instead of the traditional two digit numbers, they would have numbers like 04178356.

/And after the scrimmage, they could don their orange vests and clean up the entrance roads!

//Everybody wins!!
 
2007-03-28 01:58:54 AM
Christ, somebody on that team will probably try to get extra points by running an opposing player's severed head into the endzone.
 
2007-03-28 02:11:21 AM
Just wait until they're tied at the end of the game and it goes to "sudden death."
 
2007-03-28 10:15:47 AM
The Raiders?

/drtfa
 
2007-03-28 10:41:22 AM
Great list. I agree with everyone on that list with the exeception of Barret Robbins. That guy has an actual mental disorder. It's hard to lump him in with the likes of OJ Simpson and Ray Lewis.
 
2007-03-28 10:42:52 AM
Michael Irvin - WR

With all the cocaine he's done in his life, he could probably chalk the entire Texas Stadium field.


Awesome
 
2007-03-28 10:48:20 AM
The Bengals?

/didn't rtfa
 
2007-03-28 10:55:49 AM
Then, when told by police that he was under arrest, Atkins replied, "No I'm not" and punched the officer in the throat.

Classic
 
2007-03-28 10:55:52 AM
Alanzo has an actual mental disorder too
 
2007-03-28 10:58:28 AM
cheerwinedan: What a great line-up designed to murder the opposition. I can just imagine O.J. slicing through the defense and heading for the endzone like a charging bronco!
I have an idea for the All-Criminal Team jerseys. All black, with stylish white stripes. And instead of the traditional two digit numbers, they would have numbers like 04178356.

/And after the scrimmage, they could don their orange vests and clean up the entrance roads!

//Everybody wins!!


LOL.

This is one of the better lists I've seen on the interwebs...but surprisingly lacking Bengals.
 
2007-03-28 10:58:32 AM
Awesome, well done! And with Bam Morris, we could run the wishbone. Whatever, the post game parties will be to die for (and you just might)!
 
2007-03-28 11:02:22 AM
It's hilarious that the summary for Lawrence Phillips doesn't even have the crime he's facing 20 years for (running over 3 kids in a pickup game...with his car). What a trainwreck of a life. He makes Maurice Clarett look like Warrick Dunn.
 
2007-03-28 11:08:31 AM
Momma's don't let your boys grow up to be cowgirls... or something to that effect.
 
2007-03-28 11:18:56 AM
Offensive strategy: Have the Quarterback yell "FREEZE! POLICE!" as soon as he hands the ball off. Dudes will RUN!

Didn't realize the competition for running back on the team was so tight, Jamal "Dopeman" Lewis didn't even make the cut.

Maybe he and Maurice Clarett can be the Return Team.
 
2007-03-28 11:54:34 AM
booo

i clicked the link expecting a roster of nfl players from last season or since 2000... i saw oj and todd marinovich i closed my browser...

/saw lawrence phillips smiling picture
//someone should photoshop 'you gonna get raped'
 
2007-03-28 11:57:56 AM
Funny, but this is a repeat.
 
2007-03-28 11:59:08 AM
I agree with everyone on that list with the exeception of Barret Robbins. That guy has an actual mental disorder.

Alonzo Spellman also has an actual mental disorder, certified Bipolar. He only did crazy sh!ft when he went off his meds.
 
2007-03-28 12:08:33 PM
slayer199
...but surprisingly lacking Bengals

The Bengals go for quantity of violations, this list is all about quality violations.
 
2007-03-28 12:14:56 PM
www.logoradio.com

Anyone?
 
2007-03-28 12:41:15 PM
Where are Pac-Man Jones and Dexter Manley?
 
2007-03-28 12:43:48 PM
That would actually be a pretty good team. Aside from Marinovich.
But I think the coach should have been Barry Switzer. He also coached the bulk of these guys and he has been charged with a crime...carrying a loaded gun in an airport.
 
2007-03-28 01:43:13 PM
No Tank Johnson, either.
 
2007-03-28 03:01:37 PM
"That would actually be a pretty good team. Aside from Marinovich.
But I think the coach should have been Barry Switzer. He also coached the bulk of these guys and he has been charged with a crime...carrying a loaded gun in an airport."

But the goal of this team is to win, and Switzer sucks.
 
2007-03-28 03:03:21 PM
abrannan:

The Bengals go for quantity of violations, this list is all about quality violations.

Ahh..yes...good point. They still have a chance to make the team though...
 
2007-03-28 03:20:41 PM
Hey how about a good ol CFL guy? Trevis Smith (LB) was recently convicted of aggravated sexual assault (exposing women to HIV without informing them) on multiple occasions.
 
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