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(LBC 97.3)   Hospital parking valet loses control of an amputee's specially equipped car, drives into hospital front entrance, runs over the car's owner   (tampabays10.com ) divider line
    More: Florida  
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8698 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Mar 2007 at 1:23 PM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



108 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2007-03-20 01:12:54 PM  
Owned.
 
2007-03-20 01:16:45 PM  
I shouldn't have laughed at that, but I did.

/works at hospital that serves burn and amputee soldiers
 
2007-03-20 01:24:22 PM  
I cringed at the headline, thinking this happened in my hometown's main hospital: Clearwater's Morton Plant. It didn't. Now I can LOL.
 
2007-03-20 01:24:44 PM  
No Ironic tag?
 
2007-03-20 01:25:42 PM  
I'm so going to hell for LOLing at the headline. I'm still giggling.
 
2007-03-20 01:26:18 PM  
I think if I was the owner of the van, I might finally get the hint that God just hates me.
 
2007-03-20 01:27:15 PM  
The hospital entrance was heavily damaged, with glass everywhere.

There was no damage to the car, other than a small dent.


Volvo?
 
2007-03-20 01:27:28 PM  
You broke my leg!!

You'd better buy me a new one.
 
2007-03-20 01:27:45 PM  
perhaps there should be a form of cdl or special license for driving cripple cars? i don't know if i could do it... (or was the "specially modified car" designed for a dyslexic, with gas and brake pedal interchanged?)
 
2007-03-20 01:28:01 PM  
I also felt dirty when I fell out of my chair laughing. Beep beep.
 
2007-03-20 01:28:05 PM  
The Aristocrats
 
2007-03-20 01:28:12 PM  
 
2007-03-20 01:28:28 PM  
Hospitals have parking valets?
 
2007-03-20 01:28:31 PM  
The hospital's front entrance was owned, but no damage to the car other than a small dent.
 
2007-03-20 01:29:25 PM  
Ta da!
 
2007-03-20 01:29:31 PM  
car's?
 
2007-03-20 01:30:00 PM  
Apparently the guy ran over submitter's apostrophe key too.
 
2007-03-20 01:30:32 PM  
When the amputee was asked how the car could go out of control, he replied "I'm stumped."

/aisle seat
 
2007-03-20 01:30:34 PM  
Can we get this guy to drive Heather Mills car?
 
2007-03-20 01:32:09 PM  
Was the guy's name Valet?
 
2007-03-20 01:32:24 PM  
Do I have to be an amputee to get one of those indestructable cars?

(Making an ATM withdrawl at the 7-11)
 
2007-03-20 01:32:47 PM  
From the side view he looked like a handicapped parking space. Honest mistake.
 
2007-03-20 01:34:06 PM  
PEN15

Sick bastard!!
 
2007-03-20 01:34:19 PM  
Cue the amputee jokes!

Q: What do you call a quadruple amputee sitting at your door?
A: Mat

/ticket please
 
2007-03-20 01:34:33 PM  
Dammit! Fish in a Barrel

I came here to say that!
 
2007-03-20 01:35:24 PM  
The headline lost two apostrophes during the chaos as well.
 
2007-03-20 01:35:30 PM  
content.answers.com
Lt. Dan, Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
 
2007-03-20 01:36:13 PM  
There was no damage to the car, other than a small dent.

I think it's implied the owner was also a midget.
 
2007-03-20 01:38:02 PM  
Is it wrong to wonder how many extra points he earned for those stunts?
 
2007-03-20 01:38:16 PM  
A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying. He walks over to her and asks what's wrong. "I've never been hugged before" she says. Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her. She soon starts crying again. He again asks what's wrong, and she replies, "I've never been kissed before." The man again complies with her wishes and gives her a romantic kiss. She starts crying again, and the man, slightly irritated, asks what's her problem. "I've never been farked before" she says. So he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "There, now you're farked"
 
2007-03-20 01:38:25 PM  
Valet is a proper noun? Who knew...
 
2007-03-20 01:38:48 PM  
thanks, thenateman, that's why i came in
 
2007-03-20 01:40:43 PM  
+1 for subby's headline.
 
2007-03-20 01:43:01 PM  
Christ you grammar nazis can sure suck the fun right out of laughing at the travails of the handicapped.
 
2007-03-20 01:45:16 PM  
What did the valet say to the amputee?
Hop in.

/Try the veal
 
2007-03-20 01:45:21 PM  
He'd give an arm and a leg to try that again.

/window please
 
2007-03-20 01:46:18 PM  
Stories like this are the reason the Florida tag exists.
 
2007-03-20 01:47:26 PM  
Q: Where do one legged waitresses work?

A: IHOP


(Already got my aisle seat earlier in the thread, upgrade me to first class)
 
2007-03-20 01:47:52 PM  
... and the part that they didn't tell you -- Alanis Morissette playing on the radio at the time.
 
2007-03-20 01:48:36 PM  
There was once a women who had a very disloyal husband. He always beat her, was never good in bed, and then he ran away from her.

So, she put an ad in the paper saying, "If you are a loyal man, that does not beat his wife, does not run away from his wife, and is good in bed, please contact me." And she put her address.

A couple of months pass, and she almost gave up hope. The next day, she hears the door bell ring. She answers the door, and she sees a man with no legs and no arms.

He says, "I have no arms, so I can't beat you, I have no legs, so I can't run away from you." Then she says, "But are you good in bed."

So he says with a big smile on his face, "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
 
2007-03-20 01:49:11 PM  
If you have a car with special controls and hand it over to a valet. Then you absolutely 100% deserve to be run over just for being so stupid.
 
2007-03-20 01:49:41 PM  
Why can't the guy sue the hospital?
Cause he doesn't have a leg to stand on!

\Damn, stand by again.
 
2007-03-20 01:50:57 PM  
What do you call a quadruple amputee in the middle of the ocean?

Bob.

On the wall?

Art.

Two of them on a windowsill?

Curt and Rod.

In a pile of leaves?

Russel.
 
2007-03-20 01:52:06 PM  
i sing like an amputee.
why?
can't hold a note, can't carry a tune.

/bloodhound gang
 
2007-03-20 01:52:36 PM  
moops: Cue the amputee jokes!

what do you call a guy with no arms andno legs playing baseball?

Second Base.
 
2007-03-20 01:52:38 PM  
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs under a car?

Axel
 
2007-03-20 01:53:14 PM  
So now his car is crippled, too?
 
2007-03-20 01:54:28 PM  
I don't know about the careless driving charge for the valet


/probably not deserved, but cops love writing up tickets
 
2007-03-20 01:54:36 PM  
...on a hill? Roland
 
2007-03-20 01:55:23 PM  
waterskiing?

...Skip
 
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