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(Some Guy)   The 2007 Ig Nobel Tour of the UK covers such seminal topics as"Termination of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage" and "Scrotal asymmetry in man and in ancient sculpture". Still no cure for cancer   (improbable.com) divider line 53
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3700 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2007 at 5:34 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-03-15 01:57:05 PM  
So back in the day before computers was it analog rectal massage?
 
2007-03-15 02:23:08 PM  
submitter:

covers such seminal topics

img.timeinc.net
 
SSP
2007-03-15 02:30:05 PM  
img19.imageshack.us

Very interesting. Can I subscribe to his newsletter?
 
2007-03-15 02:50:16 PM  
submitter: digital rectal massage

So that's how they finally cured that hiccup girl, huh?
 
2007-03-15 03:56:38 PM  
UFIA UFIA UFIA UFIA
 
2007-03-15 05:40:41 PM  
This is going to be a hot product:

The Mosquito, an electromechanical teenager repellant - a device that makes annoying high-pitched noise designed to be audible to teenagers but not to adults
 
2007-03-15 05:41:12 PM  
Does the hiccup cure involve the nurse with the nine-inch index figer?
 
2007-03-15 05:42:56 PM  
wow, my scroat is super asymmetrical,

/just sayin
 
2007-03-15 05:48:06 PM  
farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2007-03-15 05:48:25 PM  
The Mosquito, an electromechanical teenager repellant - a device that makes annoying high-pitched noise designed to be audible to teenagers but not to adults

Please please please make this available soon!
 
2007-03-15 05:48:52 PM  
markie_farkie: So back in the day before computers was it analog rectal massage?

Nah.

'digital rectal massage' = UFIA
 
2007-03-15 05:49:27 PM  
absolutben: Please please please make this available soon!

There's been about six articles on Fark about it being used in England, and it's annoying as hell to non-teenagers who can hear it, too.
 
2007-03-15 05:49:32 PM  
You mean a UFIA might have cured that chick that could not stop hiccupping awhile back?
 
2007-03-15 05:50:16 PM  
So, again they completely disregard my treatese on curing breast cancer through frequent massages of the breast by random strangers on the street...

...Fools!
 
2007-03-15 05:51:45 PM  
Why do scrota hang so unevenly? My left side hangs definitely lower than the right, and it seems a lot of others do too.
 
2007-03-15 05:53:12 PM  
NightOwl2255: You mean a UFIA might have cured that chick that could not stop hiccupping awhile back?

Yup.

UFIA: Cures damn near everything.
 
2007-03-15 05:53:32 PM  
Impudent Domain: wow, my scroat is super asymmetrical,

Dude, I'm totally in the same boat. Let's start a foundation, get some funding and some victim status. I want to take mine on Oprah; "hey girls, I got your favorite things >>right here
 
2007-03-15 05:54:08 PM  
ekdikeo4
No this is SFIA (solicited finger in ass)
 
2007-03-15 05:54:08 PM  
I am learning far more than I ever wanted to know about my fellow farkers' testicular symmetry.

Excuse me, I have to go scrub myself down with a wire brush.
 
2007-03-15 05:54:56 PM  
You have hiccups? How would you like to participate in this study?
 
wud
2007-03-15 05:55:27 PM  
I think a digital rectal anything would get rid of my hiccups.
 
2007-03-15 05:55:33 PM  
ultramarinblaa: No this is SFIA (solicited finger in ass)

I dunno--wouldn't there need to be a bit of a shock/surprise factor for it to really be effective? It'd have to be at least a partial UFIA to work....
 
2007-03-15 05:55:37 PM  
...and to compound the horror, I simulpost with ultramarinblaa's SFIA post...

AAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!
 
2007-03-15 05:55:52 PM  
img.photobucket.com
brings a whole new context to DRM.
 
2007-03-15 05:56:01 PM  
Lots of left leaning farkers out there.
 
2007-03-15 05:56:13 PM  
Boritom: I am learning far more than I ever wanted to know about my fellow farkers' testicular symmetry.

Excuse me, I have to go scrub myself down with a wire brush.


While you're at it, don't forget to check out how your scrotum hangs.

And make sure you post your findings here.
 
2007-03-15 06:01:02 PM  
THX 1138: "While you're at it, don't forget to check out how your scrotum hangs. And make sure you post your findings here."

I'm approximately 2.378 cm lower on the right...

...and it's shaved, with a tatoo of Marmaduke on... oh, never mind.
 
2007-03-15 06:01:30 PM  
THX 1138: While you're at it, don't forget to check out how your scrotum hangs.

You know, it'd be interesting to see if there's a correlation between direction of scrotal assymetry and preferred fapping hand.
 
2007-03-15 06:03:18 PM  
muninsfire: correlation between direction of scrotal assymetry and preferred fapping hand

Right handed; Left hangs lower.

Anyone else?

/or should I start a survey thread?
 
2007-03-15 06:05:00 PM  
muninsfire: You know, it'd be interesting to see if there's a correlation between direction of scrotal assymetry and preferred fapping hand.

That'd be interesting. For the record I'm right handed and lower on the left. No, I am not bashful about these matters. This is serious research. Right? Isn't it?
 
2007-03-15 06:08:34 PM  
Noexit: That'd be interesting. For the record I'm right handed and lower on the left. No, I am not bashful about these matters. This is serious research. Right? Isn't it?

If they can get grants to study obvious things likee "lack of sleep makes your rate of typos go up" then I should be able to find a grant to study this.

Or something.
 
2007-03-15 06:09:31 PM  
This sounds all well and good... until the finger hits the anus.
 
2007-03-15 06:10:38 PM  
My wife comments on how much more my right one hangs (right handed). I am all for a foundation. we need seed money from some philanthropists. Maybe Oprah could cup my balls for a special picture, to raise awareness.
 
2007-03-15 06:13:37 PM  
muninsfire: UFIA: Cures damn near everything.

'cept 'rhoids.

FTR, right handed, left lower.
 
2007-03-15 06:15:24 PM  
Hate to interrupt...but I found my favorite winner from the previous year:

REFERENCE: "Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly," Daniel M. Oppenheimer, Applied Cognitive Psychology, vol. 20, no. 2, March 2006, pp. 139-56.

take THAT "eschew obfuscation"
 
2007-03-15 06:15:42 PM  
I'm submitting a survey thread. Totalfarkers: Vote for it when it appears!
 
2007-03-15 06:18:40 PM  
THX 1138: I'm submitting a survey thread. Totalfarkers: Vote for it when it appears!

Jeeze...what have I started?
 
2007-03-15 06:38:49 PM  
I'm asymmetrical too, my left side hangs lower.
 
2007-03-15 06:46:47 PM  
Holy cow...I wonder why I didn't notice scrotal asymmetry earlier. Mine is lower on the left too o.O

All this time I thought mine was weird.
 
2007-03-15 07:33:47 PM  
I enjoy my scrotal asymyetry, it prevents my balls from knocking together like a bag of marbles.
 
2007-03-15 07:53:06 PM  
I.C. McManus is the name of the author of that study?! Are they sure it's not Seymore Butts?
 
2007-03-15 08:01:57 PM  
I once dated a guy whose nuts weren't asymmetrical. He told me they would rub against each other causing excruciating pain. He'd have to go put on a jock strap to make it feel better. Sheesh.
 
2007-03-15 08:09:18 PM  
Impudent Domain


Maybe Oprah could cup my balls for a special picture, to raise awareness.

You have that fantasy too? Whodathunkit?
 
2007-03-15 08:11:09 PM  
Nuisance puppy

I have to agree. I think the assymetry thing is built in for a reason.
 
2007-03-15 08:20:31 PM  
From TFA:

Max Whitby and Fiona Barclay collaborated with Theo Gray to assemble the world's first periodic table table - a large, lovely, four-legged piece of furniture that contains all the elements of the periodic table (except those that are overly lethal or have half-lives that are vanishingly small).

Uhhhh - no thanks! I wonder what the criteria for "overly lethal" were.

I can think of a few non-radioactive elements that I don't want to come ANYWHERE near in their pure, elemental form. Metallic sodium and pure, gaseous fluorine come to mind.

YIKES!
 
2007-03-15 08:47:52 PM  
Right handed/left lower.

And both my berries hang lower than my twig.

Thinking about getting a 'bag tuck' to recapture my youth.

You whippersnappers better think about THAT!

Plus I am going to sell 'Rum flavoured Ensure' at the Nursing home.

My R&D department is also working on both Crotchless Depends and Edible Depends for the babyboomer market.



/Seniors drool, er.... RULE!
 
2007-03-15 09:36:50 PM  
THX 1138: 'm submitting a survey thread. Totalfarkers: Vote for it when it appears!

I'm re-upping for TF, just for this.
 
2007-03-15 10:02:03 PM  
 
2007-03-15 10:02:38 PM  
"Escape strategies for scrotal entrapment by ligneous lattices" didn't make the cut then?
 
2007-03-16 06:43:34 AM  
Termination of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage

Wasn't this in an episode of HOUSE?
 
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