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(News.com.au)   Snake bites man on penis   (news.com.au ) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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3029 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2001 at 11:18 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2001-07-05 11:25:22 PM  
Here come the "suck out the venom" jokes.
 
2001-07-05 11:27:14 PM  
I heard the head nurse did the job. Goodnight everybody.
 
Rei
2001-07-05 11:30:59 PM  
ugh.. :P
this is the second "penis" article posted today. :P

-= rei =-
 
Rei
2001-07-05 11:31:19 PM  
(oh, and let the immaturity begin :P )
 
2001-07-05 11:32:43 PM  
So that's who took the wooden horse scholng.
 
2001-07-05 11:33:06 PM  
"Victor Sena, 63, was out in his fields in the northern town of Lorica in Cordoba department when his wife heard a blood-curdling scream.

When she arrived, she found, attached to her husband's penis, the snake, which excretes a poisonous venom with every lash of its fangs."


Is there a better way to make male readers read this & grab their nuts at the same time?

Nope. OUCH
 
2001-07-05 11:45:20 PM  
This actually reminds me of another penis and animal story I heard about. <A href="http://www.straightdope.com/columns/000519.html" the dread candiru</a> which appearantly if you are swimming in the amazon and happen to take a pee it will swim up the stream and lodge itself in the urinating orifice.

Well at least its not venemous I guess
 
2001-07-05 11:58:23 PM  
"Blood-curdling scream" eh?

Like the scream Necros gives after he gets 'booted' off the cargo net in The Living Daylights?

(I went looking for the wav of that)
 
2001-07-06 12:08:21 AM  
Tip your waitress, he's here till Tuesday, ladies and gentlemen.
 
2001-07-06 12:10:17 AM  
Ol Victor Sena should have shot some of his own venom back down that snakes throat !
 
2001-07-06 12:21:33 AM  
What do you mean by that, Tyler?
 
2001-07-06 12:22:50 AM  
"He didn't want to do anything to dislodge it,"
Methinks this was no accident...
 
2001-07-06 12:26:16 AM  
that guy must of pissed off the gods
 
2001-07-06 12:35:51 AM  
Spider: you submit this in hopes of keeping imigration down?
 
2001-07-06 12:38:42 AM  
now thats man pain.

god imagine 2 fangs just that just impaled youre um... junior member and then the fangs moving around *shudder*

(cue blood-curdling scream)
 
2001-07-06 12:39:05 AM  
K, see now that it wasn't where I thought it was...

Heh...
 
2001-07-06 12:46:04 AM  
um... anyone want to question how the hell he got it to bite in the first place?
 
2001-07-06 12:54:39 AM  
True story:
One time when I was 14 I was fishing, needed to piss, so I waded into the water and started. I'm whistling and looking around, enjoying the nice summer day when CHOMP, a big mouth bass grabbed my wanker! I freaked out!! I came running out of the water dick in hands, my fishing bud was like WHAT THE fark? I look down expecting to see a bloody stump, but all that happend is the basses sand paper like teeth left an abrasion around my dingey. It makes sense though, It must have looked like a nice fat tasty fish to the bass. Today this day I shudder when I think that it coulda been a northern with a mouth full of razor sharp teeth. I know all of you are going to ask, "Why did you pull it out of your swim trunks" Cause I just bought them and I didn't wanna piss in them. Thats my story, and I'm stickin to it.
 
2001-07-06 12:57:45 AM  
well i'm happy to note that i've never been horribly injured in such a manner
 
2001-07-06 01:02:37 AM  
Anyone remember when The Onion did some sort of Outdoor Wilderness survival tips? They actually ran this line twice. But one of the hiking tips was "When hiking- should you get bitten by a poisonous snake in the lower half of your body, have a friend suck your penis until the milky white venom is removed. Repeat as often as necessary."
 
2001-07-06 01:30:04 AM  
Geez, this actually happened?
What's next, some guy is gonna get onto a bus full of gays?
 
Guy
2001-07-06 01:32:42 AM  
Penny-Arcade headline: 'Snake Bites man in mean bean machine.'
 
2001-07-06 01:36:57 AM  
I think this would make great material for a Simpsons episode.

Night all.
 
2001-07-06 01:39:28 AM  
Best line ever:

"...which noted that residents of Lorica have an ingrained fear of the venomous creatures."

Silly villagers. Venemous creatures are a delight for all ages! Why would they be scared of easily aggrivated reptiles carrying sacs of deadly poison with a taste for wonder-weasel?
 
2001-07-06 03:14:59 AM  
..."Doctor says you're going to die."
 
2001-07-06 03:26:48 AM  
I feel more sorry for the snake. =)
 
Guy
2001-07-06 03:55:04 AM  
chick alert!
 
2001-07-06 04:19:40 AM  
snake sex is unnatural and the man paid the price
 
2001-07-06 04:33:20 AM  
Trouser snake
 
2001-07-06 07:14:33 AM  
But was it a boy or girl snake?
 
2001-07-06 07:36:10 AM  
Ravedove...kind of gives new meaning to the term Basstard huh?
 
2001-07-06 07:47:33 AM  
It says the man was quite old so I guess wanker biting snakes would have to suffice because he was probably burnt out of Columbias "other" export (not coffee) 8-)
 
2001-07-06 08:13:46 AM  
Was he trying to spank the wrong snake?
 
2001-07-06 08:20:17 AM  
Just Ouch.... Simply Ouch.... Farking Ouch
 
2001-07-06 03:50:23 PM  
Naw-tee boys! Stop this pee-pee stick talk right now or you will all be placed on a plane to Papua, New Guinea and given a nude full-body baptism in a very special river. Now, put out your hand out while I fetch my ruler. Oh!
 
2001-07-06 08:10:38 PM  
"Mommy, kiss it, make it better"

"(sigh)...You're just like your father!"
 
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