If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Vancouver Sun)   Man dies after dare at drinking party to hang from 15th-floor balcony   (vancouversun.com) divider line 35
    More: Stupid  
•       •       •

1819 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2001 at 8:18 AM (13 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2001-07-06 08:23:22 AM  
Darwin Rocks!!
 
2001-07-06 08:40:41 AM  
'An autopsy is being performed to determine the exact cause of death.'

Gee it couldn't have been a 15 story fall with a suddent stop against a very hard rather immovable object at the end, could it?

farking morons.

Why waste time when the cause is obvious?
 
2001-07-06 08:42:56 AM  
Darwin was right.
 
2001-07-06 08:59:52 AM  
Thank you, Blackvampyr. I was about to say the same thing. How incredibly stupid. I'd say the "exact cause of death" was probably his skull bursting open and his brain splattering on the patio or all of his internal organs massively rupturing on impact, but that's just a guess. Duh... Maybe the large quantity of alcohol he consumed overcame him completely as he fell, so he was dead before impact. Yeah...yeah...that's the ticket.
 
2001-07-06 09:04:49 AM  
Blackvampyr: They want to make sure he didn't suffocate when he shiat his drawers. When your head's up your arse, the dung in your drawers seals up the airspace around your neck and sphincter.
 
2001-07-06 09:04:59 AM  
Another Fark link that begins with "the man was inebriated to the point of being in a drunken stupor". Whee! I'm gonna start counting.
 
2001-07-06 09:32:42 AM  
pitty bubba wasnt there to save him
 
2001-07-06 09:58:56 AM  
Alcohol makes sane people do crazy things, if they misjudge their tolerance. I don't think that this is technically an act of Darwin; I think people should re-evaluate their own attitudes towards intoxication. Sad. (sorry for being a downer)
 
2001-07-06 10:06:02 AM  
Blackvampyr: Exactly.

"It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop at the end"
 
2001-07-06 10:10:47 AM  
"At this point, it may well be attributed to misadventure," said Detective Scott Driemel.

Translation: "At this point, I'd have to say this dickhead was so farking stupid he couldn't find his butt with his own cold hands. Hopefully, he never produced any offspring."
 
2001-07-06 10:10:49 AM  
Umlaut, my interpretation of the Darwin requirements are; if you take yourself out of the gene pool and no longer reproduce based on an act of stupidity, you're qualified as a Darwin candidate. This guy was drinking heavily, took a dare to hang from a 15 story building, died, and will never reproduce to pass the stupid gene along to his offspring. This should be a prime example of a Darwin award nominee.

This should be filed under the "what not to do when you're drinking heavily" category. You could compile these along with the guy who baked fireworks and lasagna at 3:00am and blew up his kitchen.
 
2001-07-06 10:18:53 AM  
Shaggie: What brain?
 
2001-07-06 10:30:19 AM  
When I drink too much and fall 15 stories to my death I still say, "Ye'll, but drinkin's worth it."
 
2001-07-06 10:36:25 AM  
Anyone ever been to a "drinking party"? Isn't that an oxy-moron?
 
2001-07-06 10:42:10 AM  
flip, exactly. it goes back to what i said earlier, moments like these remind us that natural selection is making a comeback.

and visuallingo, it's not an oxymoron, it's one word too many
 
2001-07-06 10:46:44 AM  
Damn Canadians.
 
2001-07-06 11:07:00 AM  
Proof of natural selection if you ask me!
 
2001-07-06 11:18:18 AM  
Visualingo, it isn't an oxymoron, it's a tautology.
 
2001-07-06 11:27:25 AM  
Drew,
Keep a copy of this article in your wallet, just in case your next party turns into a "Let's see who can fly" challenge.
Don't want to be remembered as the weakest link!
 
2001-07-06 11:28:26 AM  
Frksamor: Unfortunately, this person was 38 years old, meaning that he had ample opportunity to breed. (Maybe opportunity is too strong a word. After all, anyone dumb enough to dangle off a balcony like that is probably too dumb to breed. I should have said, "time." He had ample time to breed.) Darwinism only works if the trait causes elimination of the lineage.
 
2001-07-06 11:30:21 AM  
Umlaut,
That's why people should drink more, not less. How are you going to know what your tolerance level is unless you practice, practice, practice.
 
2001-07-06 11:35:00 AM  
Darwinism only works if the trait causes elimination of the lineage.

Fortunately, this is an exception, rather than the rule. Ordinarily stupidity of this magnitude manifests itself during the subjects' teenage years, eliminating them from the gene pool before they have had the opportunity to spawn. This particular idiot was obviously spared through some sort of incredible luck that allowed him to survive for 38 years before the law of averages caught up with him and caused him to, uh, "cease to be". We can only hope the dope didn't get any before he kicked it.
 
2001-07-06 11:54:50 AM  
This guy is so stupid he probably was perpetually drunk and couldn't get it up to breed. We can only hope.
 
2001-07-06 12:19:54 PM  
Lumpy,
It is a well known scientific fact that sperm move slower when under the influence of booze AND being this stupid creates a second strike for the sperm as well as the fact that any women with half a brain would have jumped forst had this loser approached.
At least, that is what I am hoping.
 
2001-07-06 12:30:39 PM  
Well, at least he didn't blow up someone's kitchen....
 
2001-07-06 01:12:09 PM  
WOW! I had no idea that there were completely stupid ass farks in Canada! Wow! I thought they were mainly from Alabama!

-he who stacks pork
 
2001-07-06 01:43:07 PM  
Hey Bob, I'll give you the last brewski if you dangle out that window, eh?

No way...take off you hoser. Last brewski? Okay I'll do it, eh.
 
2001-07-06 02:07:15 PM  
Alcohol + Heights = Scary
 
2001-07-06 03:15:32 PM  
i hate to try and justify the autopsy, because it does seem pretty moronic. however, they may be doing it to confirm that the fall killed him and not something else. after all, he could have been murdered first, then thrown off the balcony.
i've heard of stranger things
 
2001-07-06 04:22:10 PM  
'Could have been heart failure, ya know...
 
2001-07-06 08:03:14 PM  
From the 15th floor, he could probably see his house...
 
2001-07-06 08:36:31 PM  
As a kid, I used to run across the tops of railroad trestles--even as trains rumbled beneath. I jumped out of an airplane while I was in college. I've been on several hot-air balloon rides--two of which had very dangerous landings.

About two years ago I was taking a prescription drug to help quit smoking. I freaked out in a stadium-seating movie theater. I was unable to stand up to reach the railing to exit the theater. A lovely lady saw my distress and offered me her shoulder. The incident was awfully embarrassing.

I haven't had a smoke in two years (next Friday--which is a 13th), but I am also now terrified of heights. Not just major heights like observation towers and such, but also two-step ladders or a small flight of stairs can cause vertigo. (Luckily, I can still ride in airplanes without discomfort.)

Strange things can happen. Even after years of normalcy.

Hell, most guys can't drink booze and hit the toilet without pissing all over the wall, the floor and their shoes. What the hell were these dumb-ass hosers thinking about? Even if I were fortified after a bout of tippling, only a jackass would attempt a stunt like that. And only worthless crapheads--not friends--would encourage it.
 
2001-07-06 10:26:33 PM  
Sometimes bad shiat happens to good people. I assume all farkers have never taken drugs or been shiatfaced drunk in their lives and this would never happen to them. Of course if you are a risk taker sometimes your lifestyle catches up with you. But then again all farkers are obviously staying in bed reading their bibles so nothing will happen to them.
 
2001-07-07 02:42:25 AM  
Horsefly - you forgot your sarcasm tags :)
 
2001-07-07 01:53:26 PM  
Ah, a new Darwin-style club, called "the Dead Kennedy Society", dedicated to high-risk and ultimately fatal shennigans!
 
Displayed 35 of 35 comments



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report